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Hi, I'm soupcan and I'm a Mets Fan.

soupcan Sep 15 2008 08:37 AM

It's after losses like yesterday's that I question the degree of my fanaticism. I love this team and I love rooting for them, watching them win, going to games, etc. I like having a team that is mine, that I'm so invested in. I like that I only wear a Mets cap or a Mets t-shirt. I won't wear any other team's stuff. I like that people know I’m a Mets fan, I like that old girlfriends from high school who haven’t seen or spoken to me in 25 years, see a Mets score and wonder about me. I like that my kids are Mets fans, I like that I know a lot about the team, that there is an online forum devoted to the Mets where I can go and have dialogues with people who are as devoted as I am. But you know what I don’t like? I don’t like how I feel and act after a game like yesterday’s. That loss changed my mood from upbeat to pissed off really quickly. I was having a nice father-kids day and was in a good mood, joking with them and just enjoying the time. The Mets lose and - boom- I’m pissed. I get short with the kids, and I’m miserable the whole way home. Didn't want to talk to anyone about baseball the rest of the night - which was hard because I had a dinner to go last night and everybody that knows me, knows I'm a Mets fan and wanted to talk to me about the game. I don't want the team or the game to affect me in that way. Why can't I just enjoy the game for the game? Why can't I just 'turn it off' after a bad loss or a good win and move on to my real life? It truly bothers me and I don't like it at all. My kids should not have to walk on eggshells around me if Ayala blows a save. My wife should not have to watch TV by herself in the bedroom because I'm brooding in the basement over Luis Castillo's lack of range. I’m not breaking things or yelling at anybody but a baseball team losing a big game just should not get to me as much as it does. Sure you can't enjoy the highs as much if you don't experience the lows but the trade-off for me seems to be too high a price a pay. I can’t imagine that I’m alone in having these emotions, how do you guys deal with it?

Benjamin Grimm Sep 15 2008 08:49 AM

I was thinking about this kind of stuff as I was driving in to work this morning. I understand where you're coming from, and I'm happy to say that I've conquered the problem that you're experiencing. It's a matter of perspective. Whether the Mets win or lose doesn't affect the important things in my life: my family, my health, my finances. I really enjoy watching the Mets play post-season baseball. October 2006 was a fun month, even though it didn't have a happy ending. October 1999 made me feel like a kid again. But if the Mets don't make the playoffs, all that it will cost me is a chance to have some fun in front of the television. (And it will gain me some much needed sleep! There were a couple of days back in 2006 when I had to practically sleepwalk through the work day.) And I did learn a lesson from last season's collapse. I spent too much time thinking about the Mets and the Phillies, and the chances and the odds and what might happen and what would happen. (I'm still doing that this year, obviously, as you can see in the Baseball Prospectus thread.) But when I'm driving in the car, or trying to fall asleep, or in the shower, or any of those situations where the mind can wander, if it wanders towards the Mets (as it's inclined to do) I steer my thoughts into another direction. It will, I hope, keep me from being as jittery as I was at times twelve months ago. This "perspective" thing has worked for me. I enjoy the ups and am able to shake off the downs. I hope you find a way to do this as well.

Centerfield Sep 15 2008 08:54 AM

Great post soupcan. I don't know that I've ever agreed with anything more.

Fman99 Sep 15 2008 09:01 AM

="Benjamin Grimm"]I was thinking about this kind of stuff as I was driving in to work this morning. I understand where you're coming from, and I'm happy to say that I've conquered the problem that you're experiencing. It's a matter of perspective. Whether the Mets win or lose doesn't affect the important things in my life: my family, my health, my finances. I really enjoy watching the Mets play post-season baseball. October 2006 was a fun month, even though it didn't have a happy ending. October 1999 made me feel like a kid again. But if the Mets don't make the playoffs, all that it will cost me is a chance to have some fun in front of the television. (And it will gain me some much needed sleep! There were a couple of days back in 2006 when I had to practically sleepwalk through the work day.) And I did learn a lesson from last season's collapse. I spent too much time thinking about the Mets and the Phillies, and the chances and the odds and what might happen and what would happen. (I'm still doing that this year, obviously, as you can see in the Baseball Prospectus thread.) But when I'm driving in the car, or trying to fall asleep, or in the shower, or any of those situations where the mind can wander, if it wanders towards the Mets (as it's inclined to do) I steer my thoughts into another direction. It will, I hope, keep me from being as jittery as I was at times twelve months ago. This "perspective" thing has worked for me. I enjoy the ups and am able to shake off the downs. I hope you find a way to do this as well. This is how I handle things too. It's all about stepping back and looking at the bigger picture. Of course, I happened to leave the house yesterday right when Smith got the second K and got out of the eighth. So I didn't have to witness the carnage. But I've seen enough first hand to know it and know the pain. Most times, when it blows up like that, I walk away. Turn the TV off, go play with the kids, get something done around the house. I think about my family, my job, my house, the other positive things in my life and just shrug the losses off. Brooding about it won't make Castillo hit into the gap or Feliciano retire hitters so I channel it elsewhere.

metirish Sep 15 2008 09:11 AM

Soup Wrote ] I don't want the team or the game to affect me in that way. Why can't I just enjoy the game for the game? Why can't I just 'turn it off' after a bad loss or a good win and move on to my real life? It truly bothers me and I don't like it at all. My kids should not have to walk on eggshells around me if Ayala blows a save. My wife should not have to watch TV by herself in the bedroom because I'm brooding in the basement over Luis Castillo's lack of range. I’m not breaking things or yelling at anybody but a baseball team losing a big game just should not get to me as much as it does. This is exactly what I don't want to happen to me , and for the most part I am able to take a step back and shrug my shoulders when they lose. I think having a son that's ten months old helps becasue I can just pick him up and instantly I am smiling again , actually my wife takes the losses harder than I do now. I have really gotten her into the Mets. Still I can't imagine I will be anything less than pissed if the Mets blow this.

sharpie Sep 15 2008 09:14 AM

I was out of town for the past few days with no opportunity to watch the games or to find out anything til much later. Somehow, that made it much easier. Not easy, but easier.

Gwreck Sep 15 2008 09:28 AM

If you guys have any good suggestions, please let me know. I hear that finding teams in other sports is a good distraction from the bad years but that doesn't work for me.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Sep 15 2008 09:30 AM

sharpie wrote: I was out of town for the past few days with no opportunity to watch the games or to find out anything til much later. Somehow, that made it much easier. Not easy, but easier. Same here. That didn't stop games like July 4, the makeup game with the Pirates or the Pedro blows a 7-0 lead game from putting me in a black mood. In general I try to appreciate whatever the season throws at me, whether it's winning or losing or both. I took the collapse last year very well, I thought. This year's been weird because its been mainly winning interrupted every so often by by these viscious cockpunch losses, making it hard to keep an even keel.

soupcan Sep 15 2008 09:42 AM

I am glad to see that I'm not alone and that makes me feel better. One thing about the CPF as opposed to other online forums is that I think that those of us who frequent this place consider ourselves to be a 'more mature' breed of fan. Nice to see that we can be as manic as anyone. I'm going to try and take Grimm's and Fman's advice to just try to redirect my thoughts during those dark times. 'Cockpunch loss' needs to be added to the CPF lexicon.

Benjamin Grimm Sep 15 2008 09:52 AM

Just say, "Pins and needles, needles and pins. A happy man is a man who grins." Then ask yourself what you were so upset about, and you won't even remember! Or so I've been told.

Methead Sep 15 2008 10:00 AM

I've tried to enjoy the roller coaster this year, but if I'm in a bad mood, my wife always asks if the Mets lost.

Centerfield Sep 15 2008 10:04 AM

I'm convinced that if you asked my three year old what "FUCK!" means, he'd say "the Mets are losing".

HahnSolo Sep 15 2008 10:08 AM

Methead wrote: I've tried to enjoy the roller coaster this year, but if I'm in a bad mood, my wife always asks if the Mets lost. I can't tell you how often I've heard my wife say "it's going to be OK" during Met losses.

Gwreck Sep 15 2008 10:11 AM

soupcan wrote: One thing about the CPF as opposed to other online forums is that I think that those of us who frequent this place consider ourselves to be a 'more mature' breed of fan. Just plain old smarter, too. :)

Farmer Ted Sep 15 2008 10:14 AM

I've been through enough of this stuff this season that I'm actually becoming immune to the bullpen suckage. Sad but true.

holychicken Sep 15 2008 10:15 AM

I find that doing some kind of physical activity really helps. I cared much less about my sports teams losing when I was actively competitive myself and I have, very recently, found that going down to the beach near my apartment and going swimming pretty much washes away any ill-feeling I have. . . and watching games after I have gone season allows me to enjoy them more. If I can't go swimming, I pick up my gf's weights and dance around like a lunatic and get my dog worked up. He loves it. I am not sure why it is, but I also take losses when I am at the game much more in stride. I was at last night's game and, it sucked, but if I were at home and hadn't exercised before hand, I would have probably been screaming and cursing.

themetfairy Sep 15 2008 10:43 AM

Sometimes I wonder about why I'm still a fan. Sometimes I wonder if I'm committing child abuse by encouraging Met fandom in my son. But there are things that bring me back, and always will. Watching the Mets is the last link I have to my late grandfather, and that's a link I don't want to ever lose. Being a Mets fan gives me something to talk to people about - when I walk into the supermarket, there are a half dozen people who will talk baseball with me. I like that. I like the social connection. For that matter, I like the social connection to this place. I like making friends whom I never would have met otherwise but for the Mets. I like the fact that there is a neutral subject I can discuss with my husband on the days when there are issues with the kids or work or whatever. Even when the Mets break our hearts, at least we can commiserate over that and curse out the loosers together. I have plenty of dysfunction in my life. This is probably the only one that I have any choice over. And I choose to keep it. If nothing else, it distracts attention from the other dysfunctions....

Frayed Knot Sep 15 2008 11:19 AM

I go looking for puppies to kick.

attgig Sep 15 2008 11:21 AM

you could always just turn over to the pats-jet.....oh...wait..... but yeah, I hear ya. I feel like I've been able to put things into perspective. I was really bad late 90's, and my life and mood would revolve around baseball. I felt pretty convicted about it, and so, in 2000, at around august, I decided I would fast from baseball through the end of the year. You don't know how difficult/painful it was to not have anything to do with baseball, and a buddy would mention that the mets were going to the World Series. It was incredibly difficult, but my life went on, and I was fine. Since then, I feel like I've been able to deal with mets losses without too much pain and grief. Yeah, molina's homer hurt, but it didn't kill me.

holychicken Sep 15 2008 11:55 AM

attgig wrote: you could always just turn over to the pats-jet.....oh...wait..... Thank the lord I am a Giants fan. Definitely dulled the pain for last season.

metirish Sep 15 2008 11:59 AM

I'm blaming Edgy getting married on this Mets mess.

Benjamin Grimm Sep 15 2008 12:01 PM

Someone should have spoken up at the wedding. (I would have, but I was stuffing my face with shrimp.)

Iubitul Sep 15 2008 12:17 PM

The only time I ever heard my mother swear was whenever she saw John Franco come in from the bullpen... My 10-year old keeps me from falling into too much of a funk over this team. I took her to her last game at Shea a couple of weeks ago - the Sunday afternoon loss to the Astros. We made a day of it, just the two of us - took the train into GCS, walked around a bit, and then took the 7 out to the game. We had seats in the upper deck, but during the last couple of innings, we were able to get down to field level, and sat right next to the field... She had her first knish, she ran around the bases after the game, and totally cracked me up with a "Well, that sucks" when the Astros hit back to back homers in the 10th... When we were on our way back home while on the 7, she put her head on my shoulder, and said, "Even though the Mets lost, I still had a good day with you, daddy." The score didn't matter anymore after that.

mario25 Sep 15 2008 02:35 PM

I feel the same way Soupcan... I have 2 beautiful daughters at the ages of 3 and 2 and they must look at me like I am crazy when I yell at the TV. I let there bumbling losses ruin my day alot and I think the only remedy would be to stop watching them. It is like a bad drug sometimes and I am addicted. I wish for prosperity and usually get the poorhouse....

metsmarathon Sep 15 2008 03:42 PM

i worry at times that i'm not enough of a sports fan because i don't often find myself looking for puppies to kick or kittens to drown after tough losses, or pulling my hair out over the thought of a meager one-game lead midway through september. i mean, its not like expletives ever leap forth, escaping my mouth to reverberate around the room after yet another bullpen collapse steals a win from johan santana, but i find that for the most part i'm rather even keeled throughout the whole season. maybe part of it is that i listen to way too much sports talk radio, with caller after caller screaming at the top of his lungs and the end of his wit, "don't be like me!" and so i am better able to remind myself not to. its just a game, and i can live and die with every one, but it's not going to change the outcome one iota. and the outcome of any one game rarely is deterministic as to the outcome of the whole season. we may have blown a two run lead last night with five runs in the ninth, but that really doesn't mean at all that we cannot win the next game, or hold the next lead, or hold off the phightin' phils. its one game out of 162, with, what, 14 to go. breathe, relax, and remember the tired old cliche about marathons and sprints.

Kong76 Sep 15 2008 04:38 PM

I'm much more even keeled emotionally when it comes to the Mets than I was even just five years ago. I mean, losing in 2000 to the Yankees made me physically ill but last year's historical collapse I thought I handled pretty well. I've been through a lot of crap the last five years so my guess is that perspective has taken over to a large degree even if I'm not aware of it on a daily basis.

cooby Sep 15 2008 04:41 PM

I've gotten to the point where I just don't expect them to win. How pathetic is that? But it makes losing easier. Wake me when the entire pitching staff has overturned. Nah, just kidding, I'll be watching, but still those cat turds have got to go.

cooby Sep 15 2008 04:42 PM

Oh, yeah, and what KC said...

Rockin' Doc Sep 15 2008 06:26 PM

I try to keep in perspective that the outcome of a ballgame isn't all that important. I still enjoy seeing the Mets (or my other teams win) and I certainly want them to be successful, but ultimately sports are just a temporary diversion from the more serious issues of life. In the end, I'm thankful for a loving wife, 2 healthy kids, and a network of friends and relatives. What more could a person ask for in life?

Kong76 Sep 15 2008 06:30 PM

RD: What more could a person ask for in life<<< Well, for starters, I'll take Barbara Eden from the black and white days poppin' out of bottle and doing whatever I command.

cooby Sep 15 2008 07:25 PM

at least we can all take solace together.

Frayed Knot Sep 15 2008 07:32 PM

Not me, I'm on an innocent puppy search.

Elster88 Sep 15 2008 08:08 PM

Hi. I'm Elster88 and I'm a Mets fan.

holychicken Sep 15 2008 08:52 PM

This sucks. This really sucks. I just can't get "two years in a row" out of my head. I want it out. . .I want to believe there is still season left. . . but that half game lead feels more like we are trailing by 5 games right now.

MFS62 Sep 16 2008 07:30 AM

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Just say, "Pins and needles, needles and pins. A happy man is a man who grins." Then ask yourself what you were so upset about, and you won't even remember! Or so I've been told. And then the final explosion will come. And the guys in the white jackets who come to take you away will wonder what you're grinning about. Nope, all that "forget it" stuff doesn't work for me. I have to let it out. Lucky that I have been workign nights lately, so I've been driving home at the end of Mets games. So I just scream out loud in my car to let it out. Makes me feel a whole lot better, and I don't bring the losses home. Later

soupcan Sep 16 2008 07:55 AM

Elster88 wrote: Hi. I'm Elster88 and I'm a Mets fan. Exactly.

Centerfield Sep 16 2008 09:39 AM

The Mets can blow me again.

G-Fafif Sep 16 2008 12:24 PM

Centerfield wrote: The Mets can blow me again. Spoken like a true ninth-inning lead.

Fman99 Sep 16 2008 12:49 PM

MFS62 wrote: ="Benjamin Grimm"]Just say, "Pins and needles, needles and pins. A happy man is a man who grins." Then ask yourself what you were so upset about, and you won't even remember! Or so I've been told. And then the final explosion will come. And the guys in the white jackets who come to take you away will wonder what you're grinning about. Nope, all that "forget it" stuff doesn't work for me. I have to let it out. Lucky that I have been workign nights lately, so I've been driving home at the end of Mets games. So I just scream out loud in my car to let it out. Makes me feel a whole lot better, and I don't bring the losses home. Later SERENITY NOW!

metirish Sep 16 2008 01:03 PM

Hi , my name is metirish , I've been a Mets fan now for over ten years, some days are better than others but some days are terrible , thankfully with the help of friends I get through it. It helps to know that there are many others out there.

soupcan Sep 16 2008 07:57 PM

Pins and needles, needles and pins....

metirish Sep 16 2008 08:05 PM

I want to amend my earlier post.....

A Boy Named Seo Sep 16 2008 08:05 PM

Pins and needles, needles and pins.... These goddamn Mets can't get no wins...

SteveJRogers Sep 16 2008 08:05 PM

Soup, what you need is to do what Frank Constanza would do. Just relax and scream: SERENITY NOW!

metirish Sep 16 2008 08:07 PM

Benjamin Grimm Sep 20 2008 06:25 AM

As I've said, I'm beyond the point where a Mets loss will put me in a bad mood. But a day like yesterday can sure put me in a good mood. I watched the last four innings on TiVo-delay this morning, and the sun seems to be shining a little brighter than usual today.

Met Hunter Sep 20 2008 06:48 AM

="SteveJRogers"]Soup, what you need is to do what Frank Constanza would do. Just relax and scream: SERENITY NOW! But remember what Lloyd Braun said. "Serenity now, insanity later" I too am a long suffering fan, who thought 1986 would return to Shea over and over. I didn't suffer too much last year because of the sting of knowing my 1986 came and went in 2006. But now I'm ready for one last run. Bob Murphy lives through his grandson Daniel.

Benjamin Grimm Sep 20 2008 06:57 AM

="Met Hunter"]But now I'm ready for one last run. Geez, I hope it's not the last run.

Met Hunter Sep 20 2008 08:21 AM

="Benjamin Grimm"] ="Met Hunter"]But now I'm ready for one last run. Geez, I hope it's not the last run. Lol. That came out wrong. I guess being melancholy about Shea is getting the best of me.