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Scew the wild card, I want the division

metsguyinmichigan Sep 26 2008 12:10 PM

OK friends. I've given this some serious thought. Wild card? Keep your stinking wild card. I don't want a t-shirt with "Wild card winner" written on in. We're not going to open our new ballpark next spring by hoisting a banner that reads "Wild card." No freaking way. Not gonna happen. We will win all three of these games. Here's how the weekend plays out. Omar's a freaking evil genius with tricks a plenty up his sleeve. First, we throw Mike Pelfrey at them tonight. Pelf's a bad-ass who remembers that John Maine last year used this series to damn near throw the team's first no-hitter. He knows what he has to do. Then, in the second game, we present Johan Bleeping Santana. Hey, Fish! The back of that jersey reads S-A-N-T-A-N-A and not G-L-A-V-I-N-E. There will be no seven-run first inning. In fact, you will not score seven runs the whole weekend. Santana lives to pitch this game on this stage. This will be so ugly that the Marlins' mothers won't be able to watch it. Then, at the final regular season game -- that's right, not the FINAL GAME -- of our beloved yard, we have the rest of the staff and rotation at our disposal. Even more if there is a rain out that buys us some more resting time. We can start with Ollie on relative short rest. But here's the thing. Ollie's a pttching savant but he's not the brightest light in the room. Jerry tells him "Happy Wednesday" and Ollie thinks he has five days rest. He'll go out there and pitch is ass off until the sixth or so, when Jerry starts getting nervous. And spends the next three innings swapping in pitchers, sometimes making a change in mid-batter. David Wright goes freaking nuts, but because he's such a nice guy he drives in runs but doesn't hit homers so Carlos Delgado and Carlos Beltran have a shot at getting some RBI, too. Then, with two out in the bottom of the ninth, Omar starts to grin like The Grinch in that evil scene where his hair curls. Who, my friends, is in the building that day for his role in the ceremony? That's right. Tom Bleeping Seaver. I don't care if he's 66. He's Tom Bleeping Seaver and he OWNS that building. Signed to a one-day contract and slipped on the 40-man (The Giants just did that with JT Snow. Look it up.) At this point the upper deck is bouncing like a trampoline. Seaver tells the batter he's throwing three pitches. A fastball, a curve and a slider, in that order. Why tell him? Because he wants to make it fair. After the first pitch, Freddie Gonzalez calls the next batter out of the on-deck circle. "Son, you ain't gonna be getting up, and you're just blocking the view of some of the paying customers." After the second pitch, the Marlins bat boys start packing up the gear. The people who hand out the Majestic authentic "Eastern Division Champs" shirts stand on the first step of the dugout. Seaver tells the clubbie to start unpacking the cases of GTS vintage he brought back from the winery. Champagne is such a cliche. The third pitch, well, Uggla just stand there and watches becuase it's a beautiful thing. Shea errupts. Seaver waves off the t-shirt --"It's just tacky. Didn't need that in '69." We win, Shea gets the glory it deserves. Last year is erased. It shall be so.

Benjamin Grimm Sep 26 2008 12:14 PM

I prefer the division title, but I'll happily settle for the Wild Card. If that's all they get, then don't buy the t-shirt. But in 2000, the Mets won the card and the t-shirts say NL Champion. And the Marlins have had some good luck with their Wild Cards. Are you going to ignore the NLDS if the Mets go in as the Wild Card entry? I didn't think so.

metsguyinmichigan Sep 26 2008 12:16 PM

Benjamin Grimm wrote: I prefer the division title, but I'll happily settle for the Wild Card. If that's all they get, then don't buy the t-shirt. But in 2000, the Mets won the card and the t-shirts say NL Champion. And the Marlins have had some good luck with their Wild Cards. Are you going to ignore the NLDS if the Mets go in as the Wild Card entry? I didn't think so. Well, no. But if I'm going to have an elaborate fantasy like that, I decided to dream big.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Sep 26 2008 12:17 PM

Wham

AG/DC Sep 26 2008 12:33 PM

If he can fit into the uniform, it's all good.

holychicken Sep 26 2008 02:32 PM

I like you Michigan, you make me happy. However, I'm still wearing my cup this weekend.

Gwreck Sep 27 2008 04:43 PM

Well, FUCK. We screwed ourselves here, first with the gut-punch loss on Wednesday, and then again with the loss Friday. We could've had it.

Valadius Sep 27 2008 04:48 PM

I don't care about the division. We got a division title in '06. It's not the end of the world that we didn't get it this time. In the playoffs, no one cares how you got in.

G-Fafif Sep 27 2008 05:08 PM

Screw the Phillies, I want the Cubs.

TransMonk Sep 27 2008 05:16 PM

I want the Cubs and then the Phillies.

SteveJRogers Sep 27 2008 05:16 PM

Valadius wrote: I don't care about the division. We got a division title in '06. It's not the end of the world that we didn't get it this time. In the playoffs, no one cares how you got in. I was more concerned about avenging last year's collapse, but there is more cache with a division title than there is just getting in "through the side door." So yeah, while it doesn't matter how you got in, and the Marlins, Red Sox and Angels all won their titles as wild cards, and to say nothing about the 2000 NL Champs, but the simple fact is that the 2006 team was supposedly a "dynasty in the making" and choking away a division, and sneaking in as the wild card the next year, both either failing to win or barely winning 90 does not have the markings of a "dynasty" like ballclub.

Benjamin Grimm Sep 27 2008 05:29 PM

One championship at a time. It's rather presumptuous to be talking "dynasty."

Benjamin Grimm Sep 27 2008 05:30 PM

Gwreck wrote: Well, FUCK. We screwed ourselves here, first with the gut-punch loss on Wednesday, and then again with the loss Friday. We could've had it. How could you not be happy right now? Sure, there are any number of losses that we can regret, but save that for another time. Hopefully tomorrow's action will make all those regrets moot.

Gwreck Sep 27 2008 05:32 PM

Who said I wasn't happy? I'm still bouncing off the walls here (so to speak), 3 hours after getting home from the game, but I can still be disappointed that we didn't get the division.

SteveJRogers Sep 27 2008 05:32 PM

That was the way Omar was talking when he got here. Okay "Dynasty" is too strong of a word, but a solid team that wins in the area of 95 every year. Kind of like the late 1990s Braves.

Benjamin Grimm Sep 27 2008 05:33 PM

="Gwreck"]Who said I wasn't happy? I'm still bouncing off the walls here (so to speak), 3 hours after getting home from the game, but I can still be disappointed that we didn't get the division. I don't know. "Well FUCK" isn't the kind of thing I'd say if I was bouncing off the walls.

themetfairy Sep 27 2008 05:47 PM

I'm bouncing right, left and center. And you don't want to know what's coming out of my mouth. I have no censor or filter left whatsoever.

The Big O Sep 27 2008 07:42 PM

Does anyone know how they'll handle tix for the Monday game? Online? Walk-up only?

Gwreck Sep 27 2008 07:49 PM

All full-season and weekday plan holders already have tickets that were distributed to them at the beginning of the year. That will account for ~15-20,000 of the seats. As for the rest? No idea, but I assume they would go on sale 9 AM Monday morning. Or possibly something like 5 PM tomorrow, if necessary. Probably would be print-at-home tickets only.

SteveJRogers Sep 27 2008 07:50 PM

My Dad's company subscribed to season tickets this year. At the very end of the book is "Tiebreaker" tickets, so I assume it is treated as a regular season game where tickets will be available just as they usually are.

AG/DC Sep 27 2008 10:04 PM

Screw the division. I want the wild card.

metsguyinmichigan Sep 27 2008 11:28 PM

AG/DC wrote: Screw the division. I want the wild card. They can still bring Seaver out to pitch the ninth!

Benjamin Grimm Sep 28 2008 04:46 AM

AG/DC wrote: Screw the division. I want the wild card. I think you mean "scew."