Oct 07 2008 12:18 PM
| ="Fman99"]I am torn between voting for Kang or voting for Kodos. |
Master Index of Archived Threads
Who are you voting for?
Who you gonna vote for?
| John McCain (Republican) | 4 votes |
| Barack Obama (Democrat) | 19 votes |
| Ralph Nader (Green) | 1 votes |
| Bob Barr (Libertarian) | 0 votes |
| A different candidate, not listed above. | 2 votes |
| Haven't decided yet. | 3 votes |
| Don't plan to vote. | 0 votes |
| Benjamin Grimm Oct 06 2008 02:15 PM |
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I'm going to try the "expiration date" feature on this poll. Maybe I'll post another one closer to Election Day. This poll will expire in 3 days.
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| metirish Oct 06 2008 02:21 PM |
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Not a citizen so I can't vote, so I won't vote here either.
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| sharpie Oct 06 2008 02:22 PM |
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I was thinking of putting this same poll up.
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| Frayed Knot Oct 06 2008 02:25 PM |
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As was I. One should go up ON election day since everyone knows the most accurate polls are always the exit polls.
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| batmagadanleadoff Oct 06 2008 02:28 PM |
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Exit polls are virtually infallible. But not including, of course, the 2004 State of Ohio Presidential Election exit polls.
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| sharpie Oct 06 2008 02:37 PM |
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Haven't decided yet shouldn't be an option. You should wait until you do decide and then cast your all-important vote here.
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| Benjamin Grimm Oct 06 2008 02:54 PM |
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Just looking for the current state of things. This poll will expire in three days.
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| Rockin' Doc Oct 06 2008 02:57 PM |
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I'm not overly thrilled with any of the candidates. I'm still investigating each candidates positions. I doubt that I will have decided upon a candidate within the next 72 hours when this poll expires. So, at present, I'm in the haven't decided yet camp
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| Kong76 Oct 06 2008 03:24 PM |
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I took haven't decided and really I haven't decided if I'm going to bother
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| Nymr83 Oct 06 2008 03:30 PM |
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I thought that Nader was running as an independent this time around and the Green party's candidate was that lunatic woman from georgia?
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| cooby Oct 06 2008 03:36 PM |
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Would have voted for Obama anyway but I wish Palin would just sit down and shut up.
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| Valadius Oct 06 2008 03:43 PM |
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Nymr's right on the money in terms of Nader and McKinney.
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| sharpie Oct 06 2008 04:23 PM |
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All you McKinney fans should vote for "a different candidate, not listed above."
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| Benjamin Grimm Oct 06 2008 04:59 PM |
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Oops. I guess I haven't been paying enough attention to Ralph Nader and the Green Party. Sorry about that.
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| Fman99 Oct 07 2008 10:19 AM |
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I am torn between voting for Kang or voting for Kodos.
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| metsmarathon Oct 07 2008 10:37 AM |
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there should be an option for "i'm not allowed to vote", which should allow irish, and any felons, to participate in this poll.
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| Nymr83 Oct 07 2008 12:18 PM |
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| Benjamin Grimm Oct 07 2008 12:30 PM |
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This is the only Kang I know:
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| SwitchHitter Oct 07 2008 07:27 PM |
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Who here is a felon?
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| Nymr83 Oct 07 2008 07:29 PM |
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any Yankee fans?
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| Rockin' Doc Oct 07 2008 07:34 PM |
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Holy crap! A switchitter visit.
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| TheOldMole Oct 11 2008 05:58 PM |
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http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/
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| AG/DC Oct 11 2008 06:14 PM |
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That ACORN story isn't making a dent. The Ayers angle certainly isn't.
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| Fman99 Oct 13 2008 12:44 PM |
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nymr got it, it's from a classic Simpsons Halloween episode, where two aliens possess the bodies of Clinton and Dole right before the 1996 election. Hysterical. Third segment title: "Citizen Kang" Late at night, Homer is relaxing on a boat. Homer: Ah... The old fishin' hole. So peaceful and relaxing, doesn't even matter if I catch a single fish. [yawns] [pauses, then abruptly springs forward] Come on, you stupid fish! Take the bait! Don't make me come down there! -- The pleasures of fishing, "Treehouse of Horror VII" His attention is quickly grabbed by nothing else than a flying saucer over him. The saucer drops a crane and brings him on board -- after dropping him in the lake once. His abductors are none else than... Kang and Kodos! Oh, my God. Space aliens. Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids! Eat them! -- Homer faces alien abduction, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Kang: Silence! We are travellers from a certain nearby ringed planet whose name we'd prefer not to mention. My name is Kang, and this is my sister Kodos. Kodos: [masculine voice] Hello. -- Charmed, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer: [gulps] I suppose you want to probe me. Well, might as well get it over with. [unzips his pants] Kang: [disgusted] Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us. -- And what a passionating subject, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Kodos explains that they're on a mission of conquest, and need to locate Earth's leader. Homer: I guess you mean President Clinton. He usually hangs around Washington, D.C. Kang: President Clin-Ton? Excellent. Homer: Except, um... there's this election next week, so after that, it might not be him anymore. It might be what's-his-name, uh... Mumbly Joe, uh... I saw him on TV the other... uh... Bob Dole! -- The well-informed American voter, "Treehouse of Horror VII" This election complicates matters a bit, so Kang and Kodos decide to abduct both candidates. Their first target is Bob Dole, who's walking out of the Republican National Committee. Ugh, Bob Dole doesn't need this. -- Bob Dole being abducted by aliens, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Next is Bill Clinton, who they pull through the roof of the White House, still in bed. Wha-wha-wha what's happening? Is it noon already? -- Bill Clinton being abducted by aliens, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Dole and Clinton are stripped bare naked (urgh!) and pushed into some kind of tube. What the hell is this, some kind of tube? -- Bob Dole, in some kind of tube, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Dole's tube quickly fills up with some sort of fluid which stops his movements, yet keeps him alive. Clinton thanks Kang and Kodos for taking care of Dole for him, but he soon goes through the same process. The aliens link themselves to the tubes, and initiate a bio-duplication. In other words, Kang and Kodos take the shape of Dole and Clinton, respectively. Oh, no! Aliens, bio-duplication, nude conspiracies... Oh my God! Lyndon LaRouche was right! -- Homer, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Kodos: What? Are you still here? I'm afraid we'll have to dispose of you... [pushes a button] [out of somewhere comes a cannon, which reveals a smaller cannon, which reveals an even smaller one, from which emerges a tube, spraying Homer] Homer: What are you spraying me with? Kang: Rum. So no one will believe your story. [Kodos kicks Homer off the saucer] Kodos: And don't come back. -- That should take care of him, "Treehouse of Horror VII" The next morning, Marge and the kids watch a portable TV in the kitchen. Kent: Kent Brockman here, with Campaign '96: America Flips A Coin. At an appearance this morning, Bill Clinton made some rather cryptic remarks, which aides attributed to an overly tight necktie. Kodos: I am Clin-Ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal commands. [crosses arms] End communication. Marge: Hmm, that's Slick Willie for you, always with the smooth talk. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer runs in. Marge! Marge! There I was, I had just caught the largest fish you'd ever seen, when I was abducted by a flying saucer! -- Homer, catching up the fisherman profile, "Treehouse of Horror VII" "Sure you were, rummy" replies Bart. Homer gasps when he sees Dole on the screen. Kent: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton? Kang: It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED! Kent: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" These candidates make me wanna vomit in terror! -- Homer speaks out loud what we think, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Bob Dole gives an electoral speech: Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, 73-year-old candidate, Bob Dole. Kang: Abortions for all. [crowd boos] Very well, no abortions for anyone. [crowd boos] Hmm... Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others. [crowd cheers and waves miniature flags] -- American politics in its simplicity, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Later, Kang and Kodos are walking down the streets, holding hands. Kang: Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected. Kodos: Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" A Democratic National Committee van pulls up, and George Stephanopoulos pokes his head out. George: Uh, Mr. President, Sir. People are becoming a bit... confused by the way your and your opponent are, well, constantly holding hands. Kang: We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" One night, Springfield holds a Dole-Clinton debate. Clinton is giving the opening speech: My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom. -- Kodos gives a speech, "Treehouse of Horror VII" The crowd is cheering heartily, and Dole is about to take the stand, when Homer comes bursting in. Homer: Stop! Those candidates are phonies! [crowd murmurs] You heard me! They're alien replicons from beyond the moon! [crowd laughs at him] -- You just said the "A" word, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer tries to prevent secret agents from throwing him out by using a flag as defence, but to no avail. "Don't forget your stinking flag" says one, before throwing it at him. Dejected, Homer takes a walk by the shore of a lake. Why won't anyone believe my crazy story? -- Homer, "Treehouse of Horror VII" In frustration, he kicks a bush, only to hit metal. Removing the bush, he discovers the aliens' spaceship -- clearly visible anyway. Inside, he removes the liquid from the tubes, re-animating the real candidates. Clinton: Oh, no, am I still here? I don't wanna serve out my term naked in a tube... Dole: I am so mad at the Secret Service right now. -- Clinton and Dole wake up, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer takes the ship in space, flying towards Washington. Clinton: You know, Senator, being in suspended animation gave me time to think. Partisan politics are tearing our country apart. Dole: You got a point there, Bill. If you and I are gonna whup these one-eyed space fellas, we're gonna have to set aside our differences. Clinton: Together, we can lead America into a new Golden Age. Dole: Friend, you got a deal. -- But enough with the fairy tales, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Dole asks Homer to get them out of those tubes, but Homer somehow manages to press the wrong button, and sends them both flying into space. Oh, no. What have I done? What am I doing? What will I do? -- That is the question, "Treehouse of Horror VII" In panic, Homer smashes the control panel, and sends the saucer crashing towards Washington. Meanwhile, outside the Capitol, the candidates are giving their last electoral speach. Kang: The politics of failure have failed. We need to make them work again. Tomorrow, when you are sealed in the voting cubicle, vote for me, Senator Ka... Bob Dole. [applause] Kodos: I am looking forward to an orderly election tomorrow, which will eliminate the need for a violent blood bath. [applause] -- Pre-electoral speeches, "Treehouse of Horror VII" From the sky comes a scream, as Homer is crashing right into the Capitol. A few footsteps later, he comes running down the stairs. Homer: America, take a good look at your beloved candidates. They're nothing but hideous space reptiles. [unmasks them] [audience gasps in terror] Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us. [murmurs] Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system. Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate. Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away. [Kang and Kodos laugh out loud] [Ross Perot smashes his "Perot 96" hat] -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" The next day, Kodos announces the result: "All hail, President Kang." The field in front of the Capitol has now become a working ground where humans are whipped by aliens and used to carry materials. The Simpsons family is working too, with Homer and the kids carrying wood, and Marge pushing a wheelbarrow of cinderblocks -- with Maggie on top. Marge: I don't understand why we have to build a ray gun to aim at a planet I never even heard of. Homer: Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII"
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| Iubitul Oct 13 2008 02:45 PM |
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| Iubitul Oct 13 2008 02:47 PM |
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As for Kodos the executioner:
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| Nymr83 Oct 13 2008 10:07 PM |
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love that line
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| TheOldMole Oct 13 2008 11:15 PM |
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| HahnSolo Oct 14 2008 06:42 AM |
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Homer: "I didn't vote for him."
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