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Minaya's new comedy routine

Bret Sabermetric Aug 31 2005 07:09 PM

He wass esspalinin' on de FAN thees evening...ok, I'll cut that out, everyone has some kind of accent, though why the Mets and Lay, Sir, Vision want him to be their public voice, I'll never know--where was I? Oh, the new bit. On the Eunuch's pregame show, Omar was explaining how the Mets would love to add a new part by August 31st, but if they can't add a new part, then they're very happy going with the kids, who are playing great... The KIDS? The kids, Omar, whom you psychotically tried to smother in the cradle, those kids? The kid who you were about 8 seconds from sending back to the minors when Pedro pointed out how he had hit a Home Run in his first big league at bat and maybe it wasn't such smart baseball to be shitcanning him on the basis of that performance? That kid? Or do you mean the "kid"catcher who's been a better player than Piazza for about five months, only you had to wait until Piazza crippled himself to drop him from the middle of the lineup? Or maybe you mean the kid pitcher who spent the whole fucking season in AAA because you needed to try a retread veteran who couldn't take a dump in the ocean if you spotted him the beach? Or maybe it's the kid who threw a one-hitter and promptly found himself buried, with the bottle caps and empty soda cans, in the trashheaps of middle relief? Or perhaps you mean the kid who led baseball in OBP this April but whom you sent down to AAA so you could play Cameron until he decided to pull a Cheng-and-Eng with Beltran, and who only then you decided, oh, yeah, was a major league ballplayer? Or maybe you mean Royce Ring, who's sat in AAA while every fugitive wannabe pitcher from Mike DeJean to Danny (Should be Filling) Graves got an extended tryout in the bigs? I won't even mention the second basemen you've shipped off to every franchise known to Rand McNally so Kaz Matsui and his fabulous backhand fielding and Miguel (Mr. Former Shitty Yankee, which is all WWSB Needs to See) Cairo got plugged in as regulars. You're happy with the kids? Do you really expect Mets fans to buy that for a second? Do--uh, check that. No, you're ok. My bad.

KC Aug 31 2005 07:14 PM

>>>He wass esspalinin' on de FAN thees<<< Is it necessary to make fun of the man's accent? I'm sure some relative of yours a generation or three ago had an accent.

Valadius Aug 31 2005 07:18 PM

General Managers outside of Billy Beane have a tendency to not know what they're talking about, and therefore always look sheepish.

Bret Sabermetric Aug 31 2005 07:21 PM

Note to all--my pal Dickshot mentioned Omar's accent, just a little bit more offensively than I just did, IMO, a few weeks ago and no one said shit. But you're not jumping on me because it's me, Kase. Oh, no. That would never happen because you treat everyone the same, no matter if you agree with them or not. Anyone have anything to contribute to the NY METS Baseball thread?

Bret Sabermetric Aug 31 2005 07:29 PM

Valadius wrote: General Managers outside of Billy Beane have a tendency to not know what they're talking about, and therefore always look sheepish. Actually, my former babysitting assignment, the Sox' current G.M. is pretty articulate too, but you're right, Valadius, public speaking is often an embarrassment for most GMs. I just pick on Omar because he's handy, and his vague, nonsensical dithering illogical b.s.is free on the radio as I cook dinner (hot sausages, with sauerkraut and spicy brown mustard).

KC Aug 31 2005 07:31 PM

>>>Note to all--my pal Dickshot mentioned Omar's accent, just a little bit more offensively than I just did, IMO, a few weeks ago and no one said shit. But you're not jumping on me because it's me, Kase. <<< Don't recall that. I ain't jumping on you. You keep jumping up and down for attention so I see you more. Grow up, the martyr act got old in the spring and it's Sept tomorrow.

Bret Sabermetric Aug 31 2005 07:35 PM

KC wrote: Don't recall that. My point exactly.

KC Aug 31 2005 07:41 PM

I have a bad memory, and don't read everything as comprehensively as you probably do. Twisting that into I read your (attention whoring) post more sel- ectively is inaccurate. Go get laid.

Bret Sabermetric Aug 31 2005 07:48 PM

What men do--you know, the kind of men who get laid a lot?--is either take people's word when they assert things "Dickshot said as bad or worse," and apologize for jumping the gun a little bit, or they challenge such statements confidently, making the people find the quote or else apologize themselves. It's kinda wussy to say "I don't remember that incident, but in any event it's not nice to make fun, even if you acknowledge it in your post and move on to make a baseball comment which I'm going to ignore because it's so much more crowd pleasing to get in your face." If you're getting bored responding to this crap, I'll remind you that a snide remark about my endless five paragraph posts would be your usual gambit around now. No charge.

Nymr83 Aug 31 2005 07:56 PM

i post insulting things all the time, i'm tame on this board compared to what i say elsewhere... that being said, Sal, you made so many good points about the "kids", why lead that off with the insult?

KC Aug 31 2005 07:56 PM

I'm a wussy, what can I tell you?

Bret Sabermetric Aug 31 2005 08:06 PM

Nymr83 wrote: why lead that off with the insult? A) Dickshot did it, so I figured it was accepted as goodnatured rough humor B) I took it back ("ok, I'll cut that out") before I got a sentence into it, actually made KC's point about my grandparents (who, incidentally, spoke the King's English, even during pograms in eastern Poland)--"everyone has some kind of accent" and then made my baseball point with no accent-mocking C) I'm glad you thought some of the baseball observations were worth reading. Can we discuss them?

KC Aug 31 2005 08:12 PM

You think I'm trying to 'crowd please' posting responses to your posts. You're sicker than I thought. You've robbed me of my enjoyment of the first couple of innings of this game and for my part in that I'm an asshole.

Bret Sabermetric Aug 31 2005 08:17 PM

KC wrote: I'm an asshole. I'm a much bigger asshole than you'll ever be.

Valadius Aug 31 2005 08:18 PM

This is ridiculous. Everybody shut up already!

Nymr83 Aug 31 2005 08:28 PM

I'll try to address the situations you mentioned one by one.... 1) Sending Jacobs back down (end of Aug.) A bad move IF they had made it, Jacobs is here and producing. Provided that he continues to see a good amount of time at 1B i can't criticize much. 2) Not starting Castro sooner (all year.) I thought he had earned more time, but he wasn't really outhitting Piazza (though his defense is better with now almost equal hitting.) I can give them a pass here on the basis that 1B and 2B were blackholes offensively so they wanted what they hoped was a good bat from Piazza in the lineup as often as possible. I hope Castro gets as many starts as possible the rest of the way and is the starter going into next year barring the aquisition of someone better and not old/expensive. 3) Not letting either Seo, Heilman, or both start over Ishii (late April and on.) I'm Ishii's biggest critic as we all know. There was no ecuse for giving him ANY starts at all. We knew what we'd get out of him which is a walk-fest followed by those walks coming around to score. Even if you were not convinced of Seo's ability (i was) or Heilamn's ability (i wasn't) going into the season there was no disadvantage to starting them as they probably couldn't perform much worse than Ishii historically has and did this year. This was the organization's worst roster decision this year. 4) Sending down Diaz (May and on.) A bad move, but i partialy understand it. I would rather Diaz played every day than sat the bench in new york. and you can't trade Cameron (who i believe has great value in CENTER field but less value to us) until other teams see him play. Trading Cameron for help elsewhere would have made sense and Diaz could have then taken over. I don't know how seriously the Mets pursued this option though. 5) Royce Ring in AAA with clearly ineffective veterans on the roster (all year? since we decided to cut bait with Dejean?) at whatever point it became clear that the guys we had stunk we should have promoted whatever good relievers we had in the minors instead of signing more bad veterans. bad moves. 6) bad veterans at 2B over unproven youngsters. IIRC, the young 2Bmen (Hernandez, Lambin, and Keppinger) were all hurt at some point. Hernandez is a converted SS so it made sense to show him some time at 2B before promoting him. It also made some sense to show Cairo some time until he proved he couldn't get it done (which he has.) Matsui, based on his performance in Japan, deserved a shot until he got hurt. But his horrible numbers when he got hurt meant that he had no right to any job when he got back. I won't criticize them too heavily for not bringing up a young guy in april, may, or june, but it should have been done by NOW. Bring Hernandez up NOW and give him 20 starts the rest of the way and i will forgive the bad 2B moves this year.

Rockin' Doc Aug 31 2005 11:28 PM

Hell, I think all y'all got funny accents.

Johnny Dickshot Aug 31 2005 11:46 PM

One thing with cycling through the Aybars and Matthewses before you get to the Rings and Bells is that it's extremely hard to do it the other way around. While many of the vets flamed out, one of them turned out to be among the top relievers in the game this year. That's a risk smart teams can certainly justify taking. There's a significant difference with the way Omar handled this vs. Phillips btw: Omar got veteran relief off the scrap heap for nothing where Phillips signed it to multiyear, no-trade clause deals.