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Marlon Anderson Craps, Still Crap?

Vince Coleman Firecracker Feb 18 2009 06:57 PM

Not only does Marlon Anderson believe in [url=http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/baseball/mets/blog/2009/02/new_and_improved_marlon.html]medical quackery[/url], he thinks putting fluids in his ass will somehow make him a better player; which, in his case, would be only a smidge below replacement level. ]It was a lean-and-mean Marlon Anderson who showed up at Tradition Field this morning. Well, not mean - Anderson is one of the nicest guys in the game. But he is in much better shape than the end of last season. Anderson is down to 202 pounds - he lost 17 during the offseason - and owes it mostly to an "isogenic cleanse" he did at the start of October. It lasted for 25 days and during that period Anderson limited himself to two shakes and one lunch not more than 600 calories. The process definitely paid off. Anderson says he feels better than he has in years and that's good news for the Mets, who will be relying on him in a utility role. Also learned in this article: David Lennon seems to think the Mets are "relying" on Anderson for something. I sure hope they aren't.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Feb 18 2009 07:18 PM

I'm not so sure the fluids themselves couldn't perform at replacement level.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Feb 18 2009 07:42 PM

Castillo also lost 17 pounds over the offseason. I think I lost, like 3.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Feb 18 2009 08:17 PM

+12. I win? /Damning stew for being so hearty and delicious

Edgy DC Feb 18 2009 08:36 PM

I guess we have our designated whipping boy.

themetfairy Feb 18 2009 08:39 PM

26 pounds. Does that mean I've earned a roster spot?

batmagadanleadoff Feb 19 2009 12:20 AM

Next week, Marlon intends to reveal his blueprint for the 2009 season, in which Anderson is named NL MVP and the Mets beat the Brewers in the 7th game of the NLCS after substitute Manager Willie Randolph calls for a sac bunt with two outs in the bottom of the ninth and nobody on base.

Edgy DC Feb 19 2009 05:36 AM

I don't get it. Anderson is somehow responsible for Willie Randolph now?

batmagadanleadoff Feb 19 2009 07:33 AM

="Edgy DC":3ly8ox42]I don't get it. Anderson is somehow responsible for Willie Randolph now?[/quote:3ly8ox42] Marlon controls everything. What Marlons says, goes. So long as it's in his blueprint. Blueprint. Get it? attgig Feb 19 2009 07:55 AM that's the money you can be saving with geico. GEICO! (yeah, your blueprint is that random....) my sig. batmagadanleadoff Feb 19 2009 08:06 AM Now I don't get it. Is my joke bombing? Does it suffer from logic? Or what? Help me out. I can edit it. Tinker with it, if need be. Frayed Knot Feb 19 2009 10:59 AM It's sailing over my head. Neither the 'blueprints' nor the Willie references are making sense. attgig Feb 19 2009 12:34 PM oh and colon cleansings are a shortcut to losing weight. no workout regimen was involved. just not eating well for 25 days. he wanted an outwardly show that he's better, but if you're an athlete, you better be taking in calories and using them to gain strength. I have even lower hopes for this sack of.... Edgy DC Feb 19 2009 12:37 PM I'm sorry. You somehow know that he hasn't worked out? attgig Feb 19 2009 12:41 PM you go 25 days eating 600 calories, tell me how much energy you can really use to work out. maybe he picked it up later on in the winter. who knows. but the fact that you go with a 25 day colon clense... that screams shortcut. 17 pounds on a 25 day colon cleanse is pretty standard in terms of weight loss going through that procedure (yes, i've done research before). so, if you loose that weight during the clense, and you're still at 17 pounds total... how much lean weight can you really build up afterwards? Edgy DC Feb 19 2009 12:58 PM ]who knows? According to your previous post, you do. And you also seem to know that (1) his failures of last season were due to lack of muscle mass, and (2) that hasn't changed. Give me a break. Your sig lines suggest that whatever comes in, you'll spin it to your agenda. And that's what you're doing. themetfairy Feb 19 2009 01:26 PM I thought that the lunch had to be less than 600 calories, and he was having two shakes a day in addition to that. attgig Feb 19 2009 02:58 PM right. I explained my reasoning. and i attacked using shortcuts to give a number to the media to prove something... not a lack of muscle mass. yeah. i have my opinion of marlon. I don't hide that. but for someone who was under the mendoza line for so much of the season... there really isn't much to root for. Edgy DC Feb 19 2009 03:26 PM There's also no reason to superimpose a moral argument against a guy bacause you don't like his statistics. batmagadanleadoff Feb 19 2009 05:12 PM ="Frayed Knot":360rewuf]It's sailing over my head. Neither the 'blueprints' nor the Willie references are making sense.[/quote:360rewuf] I was making fun of Marlon's tendency (okay, he only did it once as far as I know) to blueprint the future of the Mets. The joke being that if the Mets were supposed to win two out of every three remaining games just cause Marlon scripted it -- why stop there? For the same amount of ink, Marlon could've just as easily insisted on three out every four, or seventeen out of every eighteen, or a 98 HR season for our Mr. Anderson. Or that the Mets would win the World Series no matter how many remaining games they won. Or a cure for asthma. I'd put that in my blueprint If I ever got down to writing one. http://cranepoolforum.net/phpbb2/viewto ... 3d1#224723 LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Feb 19 2009 05:27 PM Ah. Okay. (Pause.) (Pause. Takes long sip of beer.) No, it was a good one, really. batmagadanleadoff Feb 19 2009 05:36 PM ="LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr":sf1yfzjh]Ah. Okay. (Pause.) (Pause. Takes long sip of beer.) No, it was a good one, really.[/quote:sf1yfzjh] Welcome aBordick! Did you steal my allotted amount of avatar memory to make yours bigger? Well, whatever the deal is, enjoy your avatar. While it lasts. At about the 800 post mark, your avatar will probably disappear for a couple of hundred posts. So now that everyone's on board, here we go again: Next week, Marlon intends to reveal his blueprint for the 2009 season, in which Anderson is named NL MVP and the Mets beat the Brewers in the 7th game of the NLCS after substitute Manager Willie Randolph calls for a sac bunt with two outs in the bottom of the ninth and nobody on base.