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CPF Parody Challenge FINALS: G-Fafif vs. A Boy Named Seo

G-Fafif

15 votes

A Boy Named Seo

7 votes

A Boy Named Seo Mar 16 2009 09:44 AM

"Baseball Almanac" From the spit-soaked ledge creeps the handsome Mike Piazza. From... his bat a mighty crack. I care not about acne on his back. Baseball soars in the pitch-black, evening hollow. Field-er watches from the track. Yes, yes, yes, Mike Piazza hit a jack! Friday evenings, Shea... brings us together. Bit-ter... New York weather. Beer. And peppers and links on a bun, Can't compensate for lack of runs. But here comes big 31! La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.... Oh! The magic's really back! Yes, yes, yes, for Preston Wilson? He's a hack. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.... Oh! Mikey P's the Daddy Mack! Yes, yes, yes, Should've kicked that Clemens' ass. I watch my baseball, on a Saturday. Two games on Sundays, day/night. I ride the seven, on the workdays. Batch is never, out of sight. Platinum blond or, that crazy backwoods mullet, Horseshoe 'stache or a full beard! He's a first degree fash-ion crime! The girls, they want in his sheets... And the guys want his meat. Pretty sure he's not gay. Said so on TV, ("I don't go...") Heard him on TV, ("...for men, no.") La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.... Oh! A Playmate in the sack! Yes, yes, yes, here he is, the Burly Batch! La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.... Oh, a Hall of Famer's plaque... Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop, whoa!... Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop, whoa!... Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop, whoa!... Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop, whoa!... Yes.

G-Fafif Mar 16 2009 10:19 AM

SCENES FROM A MUNICIPAL STADIUM Tagging out Kent Tagging out Drew There was one out Then there were two I jumped straight up From my seat To salute Lo Duca's feat How he had Those runners beat Mmm...mmm...mmm Tagging out Drew Tagging out Kent Sensing somehow That each was sent I was at the game That day In the Upper Deck Of Shea *** The Mets were the beasts of the East that year Had a great start, built a big lead Made a few trades, didn't blow saves Our bullpen was fine Wrapped it up with weeks to go Wrapped it up, you had to know That we would be league champions In a matter of time Do you remember the ball Bounced directly To Shawn Green? Took a true hop Then a relay To Valentin He made a throw to the plate That produced A double scream: "Yer OUT! Yer OUT!" I'll bet John Maine Exhaled deeply *** Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh The great Mike Piazza Had played out his contract Then he wasn't invited to stay Creating a hole That loomed mighty large And might swallow Shea It was up to Omar Minaya To find someone To add some fire If not the pop Or the presence Or power or sway Hey! He'd have to replace The great Mike Piazza That way Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh The new man Lo Duca Was sure playing super And he really started to thrive As he'd step up to hit We would hear quite a bit Of "Stayin' Alive" Reporters did their quoting N.L. fans did all their voting Made him an All-Star starter In middle July Oh! Paulie Lo Duca Was truly A popular guy Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Like Tony Manero A Brooklyn-born hero Whose Odyssey 'ventually ends Paul in the tabloids Was said to buy steroids And have some underage "friends" Blamed those who spoke Spanish For tending to vanish When they didn't show positive trends Whoa-oh Whoa-oh That's PLD! *** Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh His hitting affected He was often ejected Protesting an umpire's call His average would plummet From the .318 summit He had reached in the previous fall Ownership told him They planned not to hold him "It was nice having you with us, Paul" Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Captain Red Ass Might have gotten a pass When he landed the front of SI But he wore kinda thin Under management's skin So they bade him goodbye He couldn't catch up To the slider Hence we got stuck With Brian Schneider A perfectly dull And colorless Backstopping type Oh! And that's all I heard About our former catcher Became a Marlin After being a Nati'nal Now a free agent Who no team is willing To sign Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh *** Tagging out Kent Ooh, tagging Drew You just knew L.A. was through It was quite a game That day In the Upper Deck Of Shea Lyrics here. YouTube here:

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 16 2009 10:24 AM

Making me like Billy Joel. Why I oughta....

themetfairy Mar 16 2009 10:53 AM

Brilliant! A worthy champion will be crowned based on these great submissions.

Edgy MD Mar 16 2009 10:57 AM

FaFiF has landed the first five blows.

Mets Guy in Michigan Mar 16 2009 12:12 PM

Kudos all around! I'm a sucker for Billy, but two worthy condenders.

sharpie Mar 16 2009 12:20 PM

Good work to both. Me, I'm a sucker for early/mid-period Kinks.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Mar 16 2009 12:41 PM

Love the Kinks. Love "Burly Batch"... but Greg? Well, what can I say-- it's his month.

A Boy Named Seo Mar 16 2009 01:47 PM

Outstanding parody, sir.

G-Fafif Mar 16 2009 02:17 PM

Good going on your end as well.

Gwreck Mar 16 2009 08:01 PM

Why do Billy Joel songs always lend themselves so well to this sort of thing?

metsmarathon Mar 17 2009 09:57 PM

cos we know em all by heart, and its easier to jam the words into a song you know, and sing along to it, and then vote for it.

A Boy Named Seo Mar 18 2009 10:05 AM

I'd like to say maybe my song was a little too obscure, but the truth is Fafif just kicked my arse with an awesome parody. Congrats. CF kicked my ass in the finals a few years back. I feel like A Boy Named Susan Lucci right now.

themetfairy Mar 18 2009 10:28 AM

Both of you guys kicked my ass in tournaments past and present (CF as well). I'm humbled before all of youse. Congrats G-Fafif.

G-Fafif Mar 18 2009 10:45 AM

Here's to a man named A Boy Named Seo for putting up a great parody on a great player. Here's to the combined efforts of TMF, Monk, Marathon and JCL, all of whom put a talented scare into me before Seo got his hands on the last 48 hours of my well-being. Here's to everyone who thought enough of what I wrote to vote for me anywhere from one to five times. Here's to Bobby Ojeda, Shawn Green, Bobby Jones, Teddy Martinez and Paul Lo Duca, fine Mets all, no matter how they were forced to stand in as objects of my mockery. Here's to Lynn Anderson, Carly Simon, the First Class, the Beatles and, yes, Billy Joel, and here's to the five songs they loaned me for the occasion. They will always endure on my iPod. Here's to fun little diversions that often obsess us, which I guess would describe baseball where all of us are concerned but totally applies to how I approached this parody competition. Here's to 17-seeds everywhere who can say, for a day, that they're No. 1.

A Boy Named Seo Mar 18 2009 10:47 AM

I'd vote for your victory speech over my concession speech, too.

Zvon Mar 21 2009 11:51 AM

I'm sorry I lost track of this over the months. As usual, I've enjoyed all of these you guys whip up. All are classic. That one's epic G-Fafif.