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And old actress friend of mine named Stephanie took a shot at the stand-up business a while back. The results were hit and miss, but it probably made her a better actress and she's doing really well now. Anyhow, one routine that worked was called the Isle of Misfit Merchandise, as she likened shopping at the dollar store to vistiing the Isle of Misfit Toys, as the merchandise would seem to talk to her.
"Hi, I'm a stuffed bear/pig thing? Would you like to take me home?"
"Sure..."
"Hi, I'm an expired can of clam sauce. How about taking a chance on me?"
"I don't think so."
Anyhow, with Trot Nixon in camp with the Brewers and somehow looking like he has a strong chance (a lefty's chance, anyhoo) to make the final cut, I still keep my eyes on eight Mets of 2008, waiting on that imaginary Isle of Misfit Mets and giving you the saddest look if you happen to glance their way.
Here's what they're up to, on the Isle of Misfit Mets.
<ol><li>Orlando Hernandez, sp: According to brother Livan, Orlando
a) Recommended New York to him (which was pretty cool of him when you think about it)
b) Is working to recover from bunion surgery
c) Wants to be back pitching by May
d) Wants to come back as a reliever this season
</li><li>Pedro Martinez, sp: Pitched well enough during the World Baseball Classic to get the attention of a lot of folks, including
a) Ned Coletti and Joe Torre of the Dodgers, his original team (Thursday is the annivers
b) Nobody else who will admit to it,
but he’ll be signed within a week, and the Dodgers look like a good bet to grab one more 2004 Red Sock.
</li><li>Ricardo Rincon, rp: Took a loss without getting an out in his only appearance in the World Baseball Classic, but he didn’t get hurt like he did in 2006. More than a few teams believe they could use one more left-handed reliever, and he’s one of the three top guys out there fitting that description. I think he’ll at least get an invite and minor league deal before camp ends.
</li><li>Matt Wise, rp: In a catch 22, he needs to prove he’s healthy to get a job, and needs a job to prove he’s healthy. I’m thinking you’ll see him in New York this year, with “Ducks” on his jersey. (OE: Wikipedia says he announced his retirement on March 6.)
</li><li>Damion Easley, if: When last I heard about him, Arizona had some interest, but Felipe Alou looks like their infield backup with a bat now. With the Yanks still not having added a player to fill Alex Rodriguez’s spot on the roster, some buzz says he may be on the short list of guys they’re looking at. The back end of the short list.
</li><li>Abraham Nuñez ,if: I’ve got nothing on this guy. Won’t you please consider taking him home?
</li><li>Moises Alou, of: Reliable sources had him ready to retire after the World Baseball Classic, where he captained the ill-fated Dominican team, but after coming home early after only a few swings, he may be willing to sit around some and see if the phone rings. No announcements yet, anyhow.
</li><li>Brady Clark, of: No buzz. Has appeared in offseason events populated otherwise by former big leaguers, so maybe that’s a clue.</li></ol>These are your misfit Mets, unwanted and unloved in mid-March and breaking hearts in a sidebar somewhere. Perhaps there's a home for them somewhere, but Christmas is past.
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