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Gasp! Baseball is Boring

G-Fafif Apr 11 2009 03:01 PM

Was Googling about on this rainy Saturday to see if there was anything new out there regarding my book (yes, authors do that; or at least one does) and came across a blog devoted to all things literary called Gasp! The blogger, Laura Axelrod, [url=http://www.gaspjournal.com/2009/04/the-new-york-daily-news-book-contest.html]took note[/url] of the Daily News contest that was giving away five copies of "FAFIF" earlier in the week. Laura asked that somebody please tell her "what's the big deal about baseball?" and provided an e-mail address for an answer. You wouldn't win a copy of my book, but you'd attain her "undying gratitude". Working a hunch that this must be a recurring theme of Gasp!, I went to Laura's next page of posts and found [url=http://www.gaspjournal.com/2009/03/alyssa-milanos-new-book-on-baseball.html]an item[/url] about Alyssa Milano's book on being a baseball fan, where I learned "baseball bores" this blogger, "and Milano's hot posing with a baseball jacket on the cover of that book won't convince me to read it either." She then reinforced her implication that baseball isn't worth the pages it's printed on, nor the grass it's played on, with a little more exposition: ]I'm not sure what it is about that sport that makes famous people write books about it. George Wills [sic] is a well-known fanatic. He, too, gives us a haught pose for the cover of his book, "Men at Work." Then there's Doris Kearns Goodwin's offering, "Wait Till Next Year." At least she had the good sense not to pose for it. Baseball is supposed to be an intelligent sport, but I've never understood what's so smart about it. Hitting a ball with a stick does not require an I.Q. I used to watch kids play stickball in the street when I lived in Brooklyn. Maybe that's a cliché, but it's true. And it's one more reason to hate baseball. I'm not exactly sure what the reason to hate baseball is in that passage: that she lived in Brooklyn?; that she witnessed stickball?; that intelligence seems unrelated to one of the game's skills?; that I.Q. scores are not posted on scoreboards?; that George Will[s], Doris Kearns Goodwin and Alyssa Milano all parlayed their fame and love of the game Laura Axelrod dismisses into best-sellers?...I'm thinking that last one is probably the key. ]I liked Billy Martin because he was a jerk. Joe DiMaggio did plenty of things to keep my interest, but baseball, of course, was not one of them. George Steinbrenner is only fascinating when the back of his head appears on Seinfeld. And the rest of the current crop? Perhaps there should be a bulk discount on drug rehab. One jerk is all right, but other presumed jerks, like those who've used performance-enhancing substances aren't? What did DiMaggio do to keep her interest exactly? Why is George Steinbrenner the barometer for fascination with baseball, given that he's no longer active as an owner? ]Let's hope that Alyssa Milano forgoes the temptation to write a sequel. Instead, I'd love to see her write a book about battling otherworldly beings or maybe just plain ol' football. Is that too much to ask? Rather than explore those above points (all on MFYs, because tourists often have a thing for MFYs, I've noticed), let's remember Alyssa Milano published a book about being a baseball fan, and it is not approved behavior. Laura Axelrod's bio seems designed to impress us with her intellectual credentials: ]Laura Axelrod is a writer and book reviewer. Her plays have been performed in California, New York and Europe. Her book reviews appear regularly in the Birmingham News and on the Newhouse News Service wire. Her essay on 9/11 was quoted during a lecture at London’s Bartlett School of Architecture in 2004. Other instructional articles have been used by colleges, high schools and writing groups throughout the country. She was recently quoted by Vanity Fair’s James Wolcott on the death of Norman Mailer. When she was 22 years old, she graduated from New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts with an MFA in Dramatic Writing. She also received her BFA in Dramatic Writing, and was awarded the John L. Golden Award for Playwright with Most Potential, and the Rod Marriott Senior Playwriting Award that same year. Finally, a soulmate for Chico Harlan. P.S. James Wolcott has [url=http://www.vanityfair.com/online/wolcott/2007/03/had_the_mets_ga.html]indicated[/url] he's a Mets fan.

Edgy DC Apr 11 2009 03:11 PM

Well, if Alyssa Milano's "hot posing with a baseball jacket on the cover of that book," won't convince her to read it, you'll have to strike an even hotter pose on the cover or yours. No, hotter.

G-Fafif Apr 11 2009 03:13 PM

That cop leering at Knight and Carter could be construed as rather coquettish.

Number 6 Apr 11 2009 03:22 PM

It's cool that you took the time to dig through this and respond to it, but I have to be honest, this is the kind of crap that I think is best ignored. Some otherwise accomplished people think that a blog is a place where it's OK to be irrational and closed-minded. Since internet writing involves a more public dialogue with your readers than traditional media, being willfully pig-headed is a great way to provoke response and raise your profile. Sadly for them, quality blogging and quality writing aren't mutually exclusive.

TheOldMole Apr 11 2009 03:40 PM

Married Marilyn.

G-Fafif Apr 11 2009 03:43 PM

="TheOldMole":28rc9ghp]Married Marilyn.[/quote:28rc9ghp] Because he was the Yankee Clipper. G-Fafif Apr 11 2009 03:46 PM ="Number 6":1gzw9sk3]It's cool that you took the time to dig through this and respond to it, but I have to be honest, this is the kind of crap that I think is best ignored. Some otherwise accomplished people think that a blog is a place where it's OK to be irrational and closed-minded. Since internet writing involves a more public dialogue with your readers than traditional media, being willfully pig-headed is a great way to provoke response and raise your profile. Sadly for them, quality blogging and quality writing aren't mutually exclusive.[/quote:1gzw9sk3] Good advice. It's fun to take shots at things, but it's more fun when the shot-taker thinks it through first. Kong76 Apr 11 2009 04:14 PM Ok, so I'm obnoxious, but I emailed her ... [list:ay9a5lu6]Shouldn't book reviewers read the books they talk about and use to solicit responses about a certain subject matter for their blog filler? If you take the time to read Mr. Prince's book, you will find out what the big deal is about baseball -- at least to him and a whole legion of fans who have followed (and lived and died with) a New York Mets baseball season year after year. It is the best baseball book I've read and I've read over one hundred of them. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go update my blog and ask my public, "what's so special about ice fishing?" I hear there's a magazine article about it in a Minnesota quarterly ... not that I'm going to take the time to read it.[/list:u:ay9a5lu6] G-Fafif Apr 11 2009 04:47 PM There's a sitcom homage in there somewhere. G: Why, I oughta take this pie... 6: Don't do it! You'd be no better than that haughty critic! G: I guess you're right. K: [Walks in and smashes pie in haughty critic's face.] In any case, you've won somebody's undying gratitude. Number 6 Apr 11 2009 04:53 PM Then again, what do I know... I definitely enjoyed an "oh snap!" moment reading Kong's retort. SteveJRogers Apr 11 2009 05:12 PM ]Hitting a ball with a stick does not require an I.Q. I used to watch kids play stickball in the street when I lived in Brooklyn. Maybe that's a cliché, That ranks up there with yahoos calling up sports radio during "Should Piazza move to first debates" who spewed comments like "How hard is it to play 1st? Mo Vaughn did it!" But more importantly, "Hell I way 350, and I play for my local beer league softball team. Glove in one hand, beer in the other, I'm like Hernandez out there!" Does this blogger like any athletic competitions? Because generally speaking, all such sports really don't require "an I.Q." as she puts in. Especially if she uses an example that kids can do them! ]What did DiMaggio do to keep her interest exactly? Well, he DID do Marilyn! Ashie62 Apr 11 2009 05:40 PM Why would you knock someones book simply for the subject it covers, baseball. Would'nt it be more fair to put your feeling and opinions in print rather than attacking on a blog? The best you can do is a blog? This was the email I sent to Laura "frigid bitch" Axelrod.. Number 6 Apr 11 2009 07:42 PM Oh, how my breath is bated. batmagadanleadoff Apr 11 2009 07:56 PM ="SteveJRogers":3l77bdk9] Does this blogger like any athletic competitions? Because generally speaking, all such sports really don't require "an I.Q." as she puts in.[/quote:3l77bdk9] Chess. Chess requires some I.Q. You left out Chess. Chess. SteveJRogers Apr 11 2009 08:30 PM ="batmagadanleadoff":2kcy2w6i] ="SteveJRogers":2kcy2w6i] Does this blogger like any athletic competitions? Because generally speaking, all such sports really don't require "an I.Q." as she puts in.[/quote:2kcy2w6i] Chess. Chess requires some I.Q. You left out Chess. Chess.[/quote:2kcy2w6i] Chess is an ATHLETIC competition? Brain exercise sure, but athletic? DocTee Apr 11 2009 08:59 PM Sailing, too. I have a running feud with the sailing coach at my school, who refers to her team as "athletes." I usually quote George Carlin, about sailing being a way to get from point A to point B, and that if sailing constitutes sport, so does riding the bus. Edgy DC Apr 12 2009 12:05 AM I think most sports started out as competitions in getting from point A to point b. Frayed Knot Apr 12 2009 07:19 AM Non baseball fans seem to have an awful lot of problems with the amount of attention that baseball gets. They're quick to spout off to anyone who'll listen that it's no longer deserving of the moniker "national past-time" and yet seem stunned that there are many who continue to attend, watch, talk, and yes, even write about it - and apparently do all that willingly. RealityChuck Apr 13 2009 08:08 AM Re: Gasp! Baseball is Boring ]Laura Axelrod . . . When she was 22 years old, she graduated from New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts with an MFA in Dramatic Writing. She also received her BFA in Dramatic Writing, and was awarded the John L. Golden Award for Playwright with Most Potential, and the Rod Marriott Senior Playwriting Award that same year. When she was 22? Wow. How many people get an MFA by 22? Probably in the low hundreds of thousands. And with all those awards, I'm sure she's had many plays produced. Many many. Many. Any? This wins some soft of award for straining for relevance. John Cougar Lunchbucket Apr 13 2009 08:12 AM You guys all busted on her but she's making nice now by buying books about the Mets G-Fafif Apr 13 2009 08:27 AM If anybody could move her from "I hate baseball, it's boring and requires no intelligence" to "I'm willing to have my mind changed," it's Prof. Brand.