May 04 2009 05:11 PM
Mets are in Atlanta for an odd little 2 game set, and I won't be in attendance because it's right during finals. And I'm broke. And my brakes don't work. Feh.
The Braves, now in their 4th year removed from being tyrannical NL East kings and thoroughly unlikable Met-killers, are basically just a 37 year old Larry Wayne "LAAAARRY" Jones and a middling mix of young old. With most of our collective loathing moved over to Philly (and sometimes Phlorida), our old nemesis seems to have dropped off the radar. Atlanta is 3rd in the division at 11-13, with a -6 run differential, and are 5-5 in their last 10. They seem to do nothing particularly well, or poorly, with their offense, pitching, and bullpen all located around the middle of the NL pack.
Typical Lineup
Varies, as they've been shuffled around plenty due to injuries and general lack of cohesion to this point. Here's what you could expect to see.
2B - Kelly Johnson: .219/.313/.411, 3 HR
Off to a slow start to the season, but has been a pretty reliable lefthanded bat the last couple of years. Gets on base decently, hits for a little bit of power for a middle infielder. Came up as a left fielder, but didn't have the bat for it and was moved to second base, where he posted the worst Ultimate Zone Rating per 150 innings in the league at that position last season. Someone smell Murphy in here?
SS - Yunel Escobar: .289/.352/.434, 2 HR, 1 steal
For some reason not leading off, despite having a career OBP 20 points higher than Johnson's. Go figure. Hits some line drives, gets on base, doesn't steal bases but not necessarily slow, plays good enough defense at an important position. A good complementary player on a team that seems increasing full of those.
3B - Chipper Jones: .294/.415/.456, 2 HR
37 years old, reliable for a DL stint or 2 a year, and still obnoxiously good. Slotted at #33 on humorous satire-of-satire [url=http://stuffwhitetrashpeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/04/16/33-chipper-jones/]Stuff White Trash People Like[/url]. Recently made [url=http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nation_dumbfounded_as_to_why]headlines[/url]. I hope David Wright steals his wife and the son named after Shea, sending Larry into a spiral of empty West Bumblefuck Hooters girl sex while saving the child from a life of douchebaggery.
1B - Casey Kotchman: .270/.338/.412
Impoverished man's Chinese-made lead paint-coated John Olerud (Helmet not included), which I guess means Lyle Overbay with a worse on base percentage. Good fielder. Minimal power. Acquired along with 1 pitching prospect for Mark Teixeria. Maybe they should've just taken the draft picks.
RF - Jeff Francoeur: .269/.312/.435, 3 HR
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LF - Matt Diaz / Brandon Jones
Not the most intimidating platoon you'll see at a prime power position. Diaz has had chances over the last few years to win the job outright, but his performance against righties is a bit underwhelming. Has a career .323/.360/.497 against southpaws, though. Jones is a young guy who I'd assume the team has higher expectations for that a .238/.285/.341 line against RHP in an admittedly small 126 ABs. Strikes out a lot. Walks rarely. He'll probably homer tonight, just to be a dick.
C - David Ross: .286/.405/.543, 2 HR
Mostly a career journyman backup backstop. Playing pretty well while young offensive force Brian McCann is on the shelf with a, uh, [checks google], "left eye infection." Ouch.
CF - Jordan Schafer: .260/.400/.416, 2 HR
A now-graduated top prospect of the Braves system who won the job outright in the spring. Not spectacular, but holding his own so far, which is all one could really ask of the guy. Homered off of [url=http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/3206/66235257.jpg]Wifepunch McConfederateflag[/url] in his first career AB. [url=http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/2008/04/11/2008-04-11_jordan_schafer_baseballs_minor_league_go.html]Cheated and got finked[/url].
I'll be back later with pitching, benches, matchups, and exes. I'm getting dinner first.