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KTE: The Bleeding Dodger Blues

sharpie
May 18 2009 09:47 AM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on May 18 2009 10:17 AM

The boyhood team of Fred Wilpon as well as MFS62 and Old Mole and the subject of Rotblatt’s burgeoning manuscript are the hosts to their successors in the eastern outer boroughs for a three game matchup.

This year’s Boys of Summer are coming off a 6 game trip to Philadelphia and Florida where they won 2-out-of-3 in both series. They are an eye-popping 17-3 at home this season and have hardly missed a beat after Manny Ramirez was suspended for injecting something-or-other into some part of his body which he swears was on a doctor’s order and he’s very sorry and he went to a hotel lobby to tell all of his teammates that he was a bad bad person and promises never to do it again. Ever.

So, who are these guys who are leading the NL West by 6 games and seem to be on cruise control?

The catcher is Russell Martin. You may remember a couple of years ago when he hit 19 homers and stole 21 bases and he was viewed as the next Mike Piazza only with speed. This year he is 0-15-.281-5sb and seems to be on his way to becoming the next Jason Kendall.

At first base we’ll be seeing James Loney. He’s at 2-27-.272. He’s a very tall man which befits a first baseman.

At second base is non-Met Orlando Hudson. You remember him, the Gold Glove winning, team leader-type who can flat out hit who the Mets had no interest in. He’s hitting 2-25-.340 with a .410 obp and still fields with the best of them.

The third baseman is Casey Blake. He’s hitting 8-23-.276. He used to be on the Indians. He has a good baseball name.

The shortstop is our old nemesis Rafael Furcal. He was injured much of last year but when he did play he got 143 at bats and hit .357 (.439 obp) with 5 homers, 16 rbis and 8 stolen bases with 3 caught stealing. So far this year he has 7 more at bats than last year but is hitting .233 (.290 obp) with 1 homer, 9 rbi and 3 stolen bases (2 caught stealing). Why has his production dropped off so badly? My guess is all the bad karma he accrued from his years on the Braves coupled with now working for Joe Torre.

In leftfield is Juan Pierre who started the year as the game’s most expensive backup. Now he is raking, hitting .419 with a 1.030 ops and seems to get three hits a night. He still is all speed and no power and will eventually revert to form – the Mets hope that happens tonight.

In center is Matt Kemp. He’s at 4-25-.287. He and Loney came up around the same time and it took me a long time to remember which one was the first baseman and which one was the outfielder. Kemp is the outfielder.

Their other outfielder is Andre Ethier. He’s at 6-29-.273. Andre and Pierre make it sound like a French outfield. What ever happened to Jacques Jones?

The pitching matchups:

Tim Redding vs. Randy Wolfe (2-1, 2.79). He’s walked 17 while striking out 44. He’s 11-5 lifetime vs. the Mets. He throws from the left side. JCLunchbucket dressed up like him one day.

John Maine vs. Chad Billingsley (5-1, 2.30). He has 56 strikeouts in 54.2 innings pitched. He was 16-10 last year in his first full season. He’s pretty good.

Livan Hernandez vs. Eric Stults (4-1, 3.82). He strained his thumb fielding a ball in his last start and is questionable. If he doesn’t pitch I have no doubt someone else will. He was part of the late-season left-handed Met-killing group of 2007 in one of his first starts.

Their closer is the gynormous Jonathan Broxton. He has 9 saves in 11 opps. He has 30 strikeouts in 18 innings. He’s kind of creepy.

On the bench are the likes of Brad Ausmus, Juan Castro, Mark Loretta and Xavier Paul (X-Man 2).

Ex-Mets: Guillermo Mota is stinking it up in the Dodger ‘pen with a 9.00 era. If he’s in the game we’re in pretty good shape. Doug Mintkiewicz is earning a paycheck on the 60-day dl. Nice work, Doug. Joe Torre is the manager. Larry Bowa is a coach.

Ex-Dodgers: Alex Cora, Gary Sheffield

Fman99
May 18 2009 09:56 AM

Nice KTE.

According to the unmentionable fantasy baseball sites that I frequent, the likely Wednesday starter if Stults can't go would be our old nemesis Jeff Weaver.

Also, Broxton has a large hiney that I believe he had transplanted from Jackée ("227").

themetfairy
May 18 2009 10:05 AM

Nice job sharpie!

Edgy DC
May 18 2009 10:24 AM

They were going to do a blood test to see if Broxton was using, but they were unable to pierce his skin.

I guess all closers are kind of freaky by definition, but the Dodgers seem to breed them with a little extra X-factor: Gagne, Brazoban, Saito, Broxton. What a bunch of odd ducks.

Gwreck
May 18 2009 10:26 AM

Geez, I don't like any of those pitching matchups one bit.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
May 18 2009 10:40 AM

Thanks, Sharpie. Good on you.

I'll take an odd/creepy closer-- or one who pisses off opposing team members-- any day; every little bit of distraction-- whether from weird twitchiness, ass-so-big syndrome, or Inbreeding-Lite open-mouthedness-- helps.

And I'm with you, GWreck. But on the plus side, we've been hammering lefties, so...

metirish
May 18 2009 10:55 AM

] The catcher is Russell Martin. You may remember a couple of years ago when he hit 19 homers and stole 21 bases and he was viewed as the next Mike Piazza only with speed. This year he is 0-15-.281-5sb and seems to be on his way to becoming the next Jason Kendall.


Ouch....nice work Sharpie

A Boy Named Seo
May 18 2009 10:57 AM

Great KTE. Jonathan Broxton has a real ivy league sounding name, but he's deep-fried southerner through and through. It was weird the first time I heard him talk.

Edgy DC
May 18 2009 08:18 PM

Add Ramon Martinez to your list of ex-Dodgers.