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The BOCA is the [u:f1m3ibta]Bullet of Cool Awards[/u:f1m3ibta] of course.
I'll try, but I make no promises ...
* I will attempt to refrain from bisexual turdistry... somehow. -- Edgy DC
Anyone got the hide-a-key? ...
* Given the way the Mets have been playing [if they did have a closed-door meeting] they probably accidentally locked themselves in -- GFaFiF
Lock the doors and hide the kids ...
* Elijah Dukes sent down by the Nats to their local AAA affiliate here in Syracuse.
In other news, my home insurance premiums just doubled. -- FMan99
Keep on rockin’ me baby (or not) ...
* Groups such as a capella are declarations of independence from music's tyranny of cool. -- Edgy DC
Does this tent make me look fat? ...
* Being so large, I might get a neck down shot posted on the internet. I
better iron a nice crease in my jeans so I look good -- KC
This downsizing trend is getting out of hand ...
* Duke’s [restaurant at CitiField] is Jim Duquette place, he's flippin' burgers there now. -- KC
Just following Bud’s new dress code ...
* I'll watch the All-Star Game casually- no tie. -- bmfc1
Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a conductor ...
* At first my mother loved the fact that I got a job at the Shining Time Station across the street. And she loved that the family who ran it came from the same part of Sicily as she did. But before long I was skipping school to hang around there and my parents weren't happy, my old man knew what went on at that shining station. But how could I go to school and listen to good government bullshit when, at Shining Time Station, I was important, I was a bigshot. I mean here I was, this twelve year old kid barely tall enough to see over the tiller and these wiseguys are having me park their engines for them. -- Frayed Knot
Damn that new health care plan ...
* Mets' medical staff estimate that death [via complications of hip surgery] could keep him out of action for 2-3 weeks. -- Centerfield
I'll take blatantly obvious for $200 Alex ...
* I know hindsight's always 20/20 and all, but in retrospect, I think [Castillo] dropping that ball was probably a bad idea. -- LWFS
Maybe we should add Grizzly Adams to the rotation instead ...
* the only thing thinner than Ollie's beard is his margin for error. -- FMan99
And then we’ll need a press conference to explain the press conference ...
* The Mets are going to hold a press conference for the rainout. Omar will blame it on Al Roker -- bmfc1
At least then there’ll be something to look forward to ...
* Its supposed to rain for the rest of the week [so] if the Rockies are still in the hunt, the Mets will be playing meaningful games in October. -- MFS62
Does the rinse girl get a multi-year deal too? ...
* the team also handed out extensions like a Bushwick hairdresser - LWFS
Maybe we’ll just start reading the Enquirer ...
* 'The Onion' could replace Bob Klapisch and accuracy would benefit -- GFaFiF
Thanks for coming to the CPF in July and don’t forget to tip your waitresses ...
* The only joke Jerry makes that I don't like is writing C-O-R-A on the lineup card everyday ... (buh-dum ching!)
* No seriously folks. It was Pelfrey's best game in a while. No balks! ... (buh-dum ching!)
* Tough start for the newest Met. When David Wright extended his hand to shake, Jeff Francoeur swung at it. ... (buh-dum ching!)
* It was hard to see Ryan Church go. So just before he left to catch up with the Braves in Colorado, Jerry Manuel bashed him once in the skull, then insulted him to reporters. ... (buh-dum ching!)
* Did you hear Billy Wagner is making progress? After a simulated game, he trashed his teammates in a simulated interview. ... (buh-dum ching!)
* I mean, it's tough out there. Omar Minaya saw Jose Reyes the other day. He said "This isn't what we meant when we said you needed help walking." (buh-dum ching!)
* Tim Redding, ladies and gentlemen. Showed up injured, pitched his way out of the rotation, now sucks in the bullpen. ... Is this a guy a born Met or what? ... (buh-dum ching!)
* CitiField is really something isn't it? Here's something you might not know: The jagged contours of the outfield fence were modeled after Carlos Beltran's knee cartilage. ... (buh-dum ching!)
* No really, just ask the Dodgers: They were just there for a three-game homestand. ... (buh-dum ching!)
* The line at the Shake Shack is longer than an Oliver Perez inning. I mean, Daniel Murphy had an easier time playing left field than fans do getting something to eat. ... (buh-dum ching!) -- John Cougar Lunchbucket
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