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Karate Kid Villain Deathmatch

Johnny Lawrence (KK)

4 votes

Chozen (KK2)

7 votes

Mike Barnes (KK3)

0 votes

John Cougar Lunchbucket Jul 27 2009 08:13 AM

Johnny Lawrence v. Chozen v. Mike Barnes Johnny "No Mercy" Lawrence Chozen ("I am Dead to You") Mike "Karate's Bad Boy" Barnes

Centerfield Jul 27 2009 09:50 AM

First of all, I don't believe for a second that Chozen loses to Daniel in a fight to the death. But if you make me accept that as truth, then Johnny kicks the shit out of Chozen because Johnny (or any other Cobra Kai) destroys Daniel in a street fight. KKIII guy loses because he's in KKIII.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Jul 27 2009 09:53 AM

All three guys have a cruel streak but only Chozen has an actual deathwish. Plus the actor played one of the two Howard Cosell Dragrace Guys in "Better Off Dead." That alone is enough to nuetralize Zabka's "Back to School" advantage. As for KK3... They have a bad guy and name him Mike Barnes?

metirish Jul 27 2009 10:05 AM

Going on nothing much more than the fact that without seeing any video I can see Johnny Lawrence in my mind , that's a bad motherfcuker right there.

Edgy DC Jul 27 2009 10:10 AM

Chozen is a gangster-in-training, destined (until Daniel came along) to control 40% of the opium distribution on the Pacific rim. He would have otherwise died at 52 in a hail of bullets while illegally crossing the Thai border, having previously escaped prosecution by the governments of four different countries. His organization at the time of his death will formally include hundreds of men, all willing to give thier lives for him. Informally, it may have numbered in the thousands. He also would have owned a record label. Johnny is a dope smoking Val dude who preys on the weak at the beach in a spirit of conquest over the high school social pecking order. If Daniel didn't humble him, he'd die at 20 in a drunken dive into the wrong end of the pool two hours after the Phi Rho Pi slave auction.

Fman99 Jul 27 2009 10:36 AM

Let's reveiw. Billy Zabka got beat up by the loser-y male protagonist at the end of "Just One of the Guys." And called out as menstruating during a swim meet in "Back to School" by the "Christine" guy. But he did beat up Ralph Macchio. Oh wait, he weighed 110 lbs and was 22. Chozen had a bit part in "Real Genius," as one of the co-dorks. And he was in "Better Off Dead." But his best move is to throw the stained shirt at Daniel-san's girlfriend and telling her to "add it to her collection." Oh, no he di-int! The KK3 guy has nothing. NOTHING. Mike Barnes is a cunt. I'm going with Chozen. When in doubt, assume the Asian guy is going to have the most lethal moves. Bruce Lee killed Chuck Norris, after all.

Centerfield Jul 27 2009 10:51 AM

See, I see what you guys are saying, but the fact is Chozen lost to Daniel in a death match. Johnny was decapitating Daniel every time the All-Vally ref looked away. I just can't see how you can resolve this discrepancy. Unless you're gonna tell me Chozen didn't really lose. The more I think about it, this is what happened isn't it? Daniel died at the end of KKII. Which is why KKIII sucked so bad.

Edgy DC Jul 27 2009 10:57 AM

Daniel was a better fighter by the time he faced Chozen. He beat up a bunch of slabs of ice. But I think we all need to accept that every time Daniel wins, it's because the stars aligned just so and he somehow caught his nemesis by surprise. That's his trick --- to be so lame and whiney that his opponent gets OD's on confidence and gets stupid.

Valadius Jul 27 2009 03:47 PM

Never seen KKIII, but I'm going with Johnny Lawrence over Chozen, because Chozen would either (a) run away into a hurricane or (b) do something incredibly stupid if he felt his honor was being attacked.

MFS62 Jul 27 2009 10:04 PM

Any one of those videos could have been the one that killed the radio star, but I went with Chozen anyhow. Later

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jul 28 2009 12:18 PM

[quote="Edgy DC":ahiq5liv]Daniel was a better fighter by the time he faced Chozen. He beat up a bunch of slabs of ice. But I think we all need to accept that every time Daniel wins, it's because the stars aligned just so and he somehow caught his nemesis by surprise. That's his trick --- to be so lame and whiney that his opponent gets OD's on confidence and gets stupid.[/quote:ahiq5liv] And yet-- lame and whiny gets the girl (and the old Okinawan drunk). Every time. Now that I think about it, I'd like to revise my vote for the last poll to "none of the above"-- ANYONE who falls for the LaRusso charm is a member of a club I want no part of. Although the Cosell impression trumps table-press/transvestite-beating in the talent portion of the competition, in a three-way brawl, I'm pretty sure the two Americans gang up on Lil' Yakuza, then-- honestly-- Mike Barnes takes out the kid. But since I can't in good conscience vote for anything associated with KKIII, it's gots to be Johnny. (Hail Zabka.)

Edgy DC Sep 03 2009 08:14 AM Re: Karate Kid Villain Deathmatch

Best 11-post thread ever.

Fman99 Sep 03 2009 12:48 PM Re: Karate Kid Villain Deathmatch

Threads like this make this place the "Cotton Club" of Mets fans hangouts.