Master Index of Archived Threads


When I become Czar ...

Frayed Knot Sep 20 2009 05:35 PM

You might have noticed that Czars are really in these days - something that has probably piqued the interest of those far-flung remainder of Romanov cousins still scattered about through Europe and North America just waiting for their return to power. But we have Czars right here in the U S of A these days and I want to be one of them. First order of business: AM and PM designations have got to be about the stupidest invention of mankind -- 'hey I know, let's concoct a system where you'll have to specify WHICH 5 o'clock you mean each time cuz it'll be real confusing otherwise!' So my first Czar move: install 24-hour time just like the military uses; it may be the one area where a gov't run department actually gets it right -- FK, signing off at 19:35

Frayed Knot Sep 20 2009 09:49 PM Re: When I become Czar ...

And when I'm named football Czar, the first rule change is that that bullshit 'timeout' call from the bench when the clock is already stopped will not only be banned but any coach trying it gets kicked in the nuts.

Edgy DC Sep 21 2009 07:59 AM Re: When I become Czar ...

I want to be the expansion czar, in charge of policy relative to adding states to the map. Every week I'd call up American Samoa and say, "Hey, whats the deal? You're American, but not American. We want to know if you're in or out. We've got some great specials if you sign up now. No, I don't have to run anything by Congress. I'm a freaking czar, baby." "What's that? No, I don't know why Puerto Rico gets their own Olympic squad. I'll look into that and get back to you."

Fman99 Sep 21 2009 10:27 AM Re: When I become Czar ...

Shouldn't the drug czar be the guy who's done the most drugs?

Valadius Sep 22 2009 10:19 PM Re: When I become Czar ...

I wish people would realize that the only reason the term "czar" is used at all is because of headline-space-saving for newspapers. Four letters doesn't take up too much room.

Edgy DC Sep 23 2009 05:58 AM Re: When I become Czar ...

You're speaking about present people in the third person. Historically, these appointments have been referred to as czars by the administratons appointing them, and not just the headline writers.