Master Index of Archived Threads


December's Bullet of Cool

1) Edgy DC versifies the Free Agent Prediction Contest.

2 votes

2) Centerfield on the Jeter Baseball Ethic.

1 votes

3) Ashie62 on Pelfrey-Maine-Perez.

0 votes

4) Swan Swan H on decent Yankees.

1 votes

5) Edgy DC on bad anti-Met logic.

0 votes

6) LWFS on Bengie Molina

0 votes

7) Rockin' Doc on the Mets' ineptitude against ol' Atlanta.

3 votes

8) MFS62 on the nightmare World Series.

0 votes

9) Fman on Scott Posednik's marital relations.

1 votes

10) G-Fafif on Mike Francesa.

8 votes

11) Swan Swan H on the Mets' potential bullpen.

0 votes

12) LWFS on Jeff Francoeur.

1 votes

13) Ben Grimm on Jon Switzer.

2 votes

14) metirish's rejected book title.

0 votes

15) G-Fafif on Casey Fossum.

0 votes

16) Kong76 on holiday baseball coverage.

0 votes

17) batmagadanleadoff on the Wilpons' money.

1 votes

20) LWFS on Brittany Murphy.

0 votes

19) Kong76 on quitting the fags.

0 votes

18) MFS62 on Bloomberg and Castillo.

1 votes

Edgy DC Jan 10 2010 01:33 PM

Sorry to come in so late with this, but a busy man is a busy man and I've been one of those. Anyhow, it's been a fine month of championship strutting for LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr, holding our November Bullet of Cool Award. But December is well past past now, and it's time for that chilly holiday month to have a champion of her own. And you --- YOU! --- can give her one, by voting for one of these babies below. Thanks for all contributions --- the nominations and the Bullets themselves. Onwards.... 1) mFS62 opens the nominations pushing forward my absoultely incorrect verse prediciton of the ultimate destination of this offseason's free agents. [quote="Edgy DC"]Matt Holiday? A Met, I say! By Christmas time of course Jason Bay will run and play on San Francisco wharfs Lackey, he is Dodger bound, he'll say nice things 'bout Torre Joel Pineiro? Boston hero --- that's my fucking story Aroldis and his purple crayon? Chi-town with the Cubs Pettitte dies a Yankee, talking to no other clubs Back to Philly, Randy Wolf --- that's where he'll survive Orlando Hudson to the Mets; I don't think that he'll thrive Felipe Lopez, no one trusts, so he'll end up with Texas Ex-Cubans like Arguelles float to-ward the Yankee nexus Chone Figgins heads to Houston-town, made rich by oil and cattle Cameron returns to spawn, swims upstream to Seattle Nick Johnson --- HA! --- Nick Johnson? --- HO! --- I guess Cleveland, maybe Polanco spends his final days in Tampa/St. Pete, baby! Scutaro to Atlanta, folks --- I hope so, 'cuz he'll suck Gonzalez, Mike, the Yanks will like --- they'll back up Hank's cash truck Ben Sheets, Ben Sheets, will suck the teats of Wilpon and the Mets Tejada-time in Anaheim, that's where I'll place my bets Soriano? Sucks, hermano, but you'll be Rockie Harden gets rich from the Cubs --- watch it make him cocky Brad Penny gets from Boston an incentive-laden dealie To Arizona, Johnny D. --- your wife will get all peely For Wagner, they'll play "Enter Blandman" down there in Atlanta Garland's gwine to be a Ray (not "Devil," neither "Manta") Ryota Igarashi we will see in San Diego Matsui quits and does cocaine, gets busted in Tobago Beltre, he plays at third base --- the Reds need one of those I think Bedard will be a Card --- they'll like the way he throws LaRoche returned to Braveland and they'll keep him there this time Olivo in for Varitek in Boston's urban grime Marquis, Marquis, mine eye doth see a Colorado summer Pete says bye, and all will cry --- Dominicano bummer Delgado to Toronto, man, you know he's heading home The truth is I have no idea, so I wrote a crappy poem

2) Frayed Knot follows by nominating Centerfield's summation of the Jeter Baseball Ethic, which cleanses our the eyes of those who dwell in our fallen world.

[quote="Centerfield"]

2. Self-promoters. "I never liked people who talked about themselves all the time, gloat," he says. "If you're accomplished and have done things, people will talk about it for you. I don't think you have to point it out. I'm not judging anybody. That's just the way I am."

Jeter went on to cite to how certain athletes go as far as to launch their own cologne, their own sneaker, their own fitness centers. "That's not me. I will do anything to win. Regardless of the game. I once sold a testicle to beat the Royals in May."

3) Defending champ LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr adds Ashie62's brief critique of the 2-3-4 slots in the Mets pitchign rotation.

[quote="Ashie62"]You need a "safeword" when watching these 3 pitch

4) I nominated Swan Swan H for is honesty in confessing his psychological struggles when confronted with the Theoretical Yankee-Decent Human Dialectic.

[quote="Swan Swan H"]Yeah, I hate it when those decent human being types end up on the Yankees. Well, it's never actually happened before, but I hate it in theory.

5) A few notches down in the same thread, LWFS plugs me for stealing from Sting.

[quote="Edgy DC"]

The sticking point, as always with the Mets, is length of contract...

Yeah, they were really stingey on the length of Castillo's deal and Schoeneweis's also.

That logic just ties me up and rapes me.

6) Still further down in that same bullet-riddled thread, I unknowingly return the favor for LWFS's description of Bengie Molina's wheels.

[quote="LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr"][quote="metirish"][quote="John Cougar Lunchbucket"][quote="metirish"]From the link

Molina

two-year deal, in the $12-million range.....

I don't mind that deal one bit........

I think it's smelly.

That smell you are smelling might be the anus that LFWS is going to eat.

Am NOT.

I don't mind being moored to the guy for a year. I don't love it, but whatever-- slim pickings (if you don't seriously consider trades), and Thole's a year from full-time duty away (methinks), at least.

But he's not nearly as valuable an offensive contributor as 15-20 HRs and a .270 average might imply, as he seems allergic to walks and is a highly BABIP-dependent hitter. His defense compares to Posada; his baserunning ability compares to a codeine-overdosed Posada running through peat. $6-7 million of value next year is what you HOPE for out of him, given his skill set and age; it's not what you should expect.

7) Ben Grimm nominates Rockin' Doc for his old school hit against the Mets turn-of-the-century struggles against Atlanta.

[quote="Rockin' Doc"][quote="Fman99"]It's a throwdown, classic Mets vs. cavity creeps!

Seriously, they couldn't find some Braves hats to put on these fuckers?

Mets superheroes and saving commuters from train mishaps are one thing, but the Mets actually prevailing against the Braves would have made the entire premise of the comic unbelievable.

8) I nominated MFS62 for his summation on what would actually be a nightmare World Series for Mets fans.

[quote="MFS62"][quote="Edgy DC"]It would have to be some sort of high stakes nightmare World Series, where the winners would get to take our women and destroy our institutions and act as petty tyrants for the next 12 months.

Pillaging, plundering, parking in handicapped spots, building non-code hockey rinks, that sort of thing. That would be a nightmare.

Y'mean (gasp!) ... it would be the Yankees against the Yankee fans?

Later

9) Hahn Solo likes Fman when he brings the horny.

[quote="Fman99"]Sheesh, Scotty Pods' wife is HAWT.

The guy's known for his speed, and you can't blame him -- it'd only take me 5-7 seconds to "round the bases" on her also.

10) bmfc1 nominates G-Fafif for some classic misdirection at the expense of Mike Francesa.

[quote="G-Fafif"]I thought he did real well for someone who generally has trouble with the English language.

Reyes did a nice job, too.

11) Rockin' Doc recognizes Swan Swan H for a pre-emptive strike against the Mets bullpen.

[quote="Swan Swan H"]Let's hope the set-up crew isn't Iggy and the Stooges.

12) metirish nominates the powerful LWFS for his very brief very brief reality dosage on Jeff Francoeur.

[quote="LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr"]He's just not very good at being a productive major-league hitter, unfortunately.

13) LWFS gets Ben Grimm on a similarly brief summation of the Jon Switzer Pheomenon.

[quote="Benjamin Grimm"]There's a country in Europe that's full of guys like Switzer.

14) Seawolf17 liked this rejected Mets book title from metirish.

[quote="metirish"]" NY Mets: A History" - by Fred and Jeff Wilpon.

15) LWFS liked one G-Fafif's contirbutions to the same thread.

[quote="G-Fafif"]"Playing Fossum: A Journeyman Pitcher's Guide to Appearing Dead"

16) metirish like Kong76's explanation of baseball coverage over Christmas[/ul].

[quote="Kong76"]Doesn't this happen every year?
The Mets are closed the Friday before Xmas and won't be
re-opening until the Monday after New Years.
Unfortunately, the papers will still be selling papers.

17) The last Bullet of Cool nominee of the decade, nominated by Nymr83, is bagmagadanleadoff's celebration of the investment savvy of the Wilpon family

[quote="batmagadanleadoff"]

While the Mets offer is four [years] for 65 [million], it’s so backloaded that I’ve been told by Mets people that it’s far less than what the Red Sox were offering in present-day value.

The Mets like to hold on to their money a little longer than other teams do because Wilpon knows this hedge fund guy that guarantees hefty inflation beating profits on any investments made.

18) No, wait. Missed one more nominateon. Doc Tee cites MFS62 thinking of Bloomberg and Castillo as the year comes to a close.

[quote="MFS62"]Staying home with wifey and a bottle of bubbly.
I'm wonderin', Did Yankee-fan Mayor Bloomberg ask Luis Castillo to drop the ball at midnight?

Later

19) But wait! There's more. And that includes Kong76's perspective on the value of an open marriage, nominated by metsmarathon.

[quote="Kong76"]Good job, trans.

mi: now I rarely even think about the fags <<<

I'm sure this pleases mrs. metirish.

20) Transmonk nominates LWFS prediction of how the Brittany Murphy story should unfold.

[quote="LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr"]That her husband doesn't want an autopsy-- coupled with the fact that he apparently was taken to the ER himself immediately after deplaning a week ago*-- is pretty indicative that something untoward was going on.

But he'll never teeeee-eeeeell.

*All manner of stuff sneaks into your ear holes and sticks if you leave the local-morning-show volume up a little too loud.


Don't forget to pay one last visit to our outgoing champion bullet from LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr. It's been a proud reign.

Fman99 Jan 10 2010 07:30 PM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

As always it's an honor just to be nominated.

Centerfield Jan 11 2010 08:07 AM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

Great stuff. I'll decline to vote as I think it's enough to just re-post them and enjoy them again.

MFS62 Jan 11 2010 08:52 AM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

[quote="Fman99":1mwwzldr]As always it's an honor just to be nominated.[/quote:1mwwzldr] I'm like Susan Lucci. I wait anxiously each time the nominations come out, then search for my name. And, like Susan Lucci, I may have to wait 20 years to win. Later

Edgy DC Jan 11 2010 09:05 AM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

Found a missing nomination (see #18 above) for Susan. As usual, vote changing is permitted up until the deadline (which I think is Wednesday).

Edgy DC Jan 11 2010 09:17 AM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

Two more unearthed --- numbers 19 and 20 above.

Benjamin Grimm Jan 11 2010 10:52 AM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

It looks like anyone who voted prior to the addition of the new options will have to revote. Me, I find myself rooting for (and voting for) the BOC that I nominated, rather than the one for which I was nominated.

Edgy DC Jan 11 2010 11:16 AM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

Yeah, sorry. That stinks. Everybody re-vote! No more updates.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 11 2010 12:01 PM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

[quote="Benjamin Grimm":282nvsu4]It looks like anyone who voted prior to the addition of the new options will have to revote. Me, I find myself rooting for (and voting for) the BOC that I nominated, rather than the one for which I was nominated.[/quote:282nvsu4] Same here, even though you have little to do directly with its coolness. It's like you're the producer or something. [Of course, it helps that I've been coasting this month... my three noms seem to be very much of the old-All-Star-Cal-Ripken variety: all reputation.]

Ashie62 Jan 12 2010 06:45 AM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

I went number 10..nice dig at fatessa

G-Fafif Jan 13 2010 03:09 PM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

Thanks for your support. I owe it all to listening too often to Mike Francesa, damn it.

metirish Jan 13 2010 05:00 PM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

I hope I sound as sincere as the actors at Oscar time when I say I'm just happy to have been nominated......I'm in the losers lounge BTW.

Ashie62 Jan 13 2010 05:40 PM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

[quote="metirish":d8gm9epe]I hope I sound as sincere as the actors at Oscar time when I say I'm just happy to have been nominated......I'm in the losers lounge BTW.[/quote:d8gm9epe] it's OK, they pour a perfect pint in that lounge*

Benjamin Grimm Jan 13 2010 07:08 PM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

And there's all the shrimp you can eat.* * While supplies last.

Edgy DC Jan 13 2010 07:34 PM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

Now we're in bidness.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 13 2010 07:37 PM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

Whadddddddayoo mean, I cannnhave anothurrrr drinnnk? DON'T CHEW KNOWOOO I YAM?

G-Fafif Jan 13 2010 09:13 PM Re: December's Bullet of Cool

I had no idea this came with an avatar!