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Wayne Coffey sets standard in douchebag journalism

metirish Apr 05 2010 06:56 AM

This might be the worst article ever written. Steve , if you read this you are sure to have a boner for a week call your doctor if it lasts longer. Captain Derek Jeter is lone constant in New York Yankees' rivalry with Boston Red Sox "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?" - Joni Mitchell, "Big Yellow Taxi" BOSTON - Three hours before his 14th Opening Day, the greatest shortstop the Yankees have ever had sat in front of a corner cubicle in a clubhouse not much bigger than a meat locker, and stayed his strut-free course. He was wearing a blue warmup shirt and knee-length underwear, his No. 2 road-gray jersey on a hook to his left. He answered questions about the club he captains, about the Red Sox, starting up again. Derek Jeter smiled and recalled his first Opening Day, 14 years ago in Cleveland, a game delayed a day by snow. The Indian starter was Dennis Martinez, the President was Bill Clinton and the principal Yankee question mark was a 21-year-old from Kalamazoo, Mich., who batted ninth and the club hoped would hit .250 and play a nice shortstop. On that day - April 2, 1996, the anniversary of Ponce de Leon landing in Florida - Jeter homered and made a splendid, over-the-shoulder catch. The Yankees won, 7-1, and found their own Fountain of Youth, and it was still flowing quite nicely last night, no matter that the result was not at all to Jeter's liking, the bullpen the main culprit in a 9-7 defeat. "I remember being excited, nervous, having butterflies," Jeter said of his first opener. The feelings are not hugely different now. "If you don't have that, it means you don't care," he said. The Yankees-Red Sox rivalry still has a heat all its own, and the two teams showed plenty of it for the usual full house at Fenway on a mild Easter night. But let's not delude ourselves: the rivalry's flavor has changed markedly in recent years. Johnny Damon isn't a hero for either club; he's a Detroit Tiger. Manny is in L.A., Jason Varitek is captain-cum-benchwarmer, and while David Ortiz still spits a lot, he doesn't hit so much. Aaron Boone hit his ALCS-winning homer seven years ago, and Dave Roberts stole his famous base six years ago, beginning the reversal of two franchises and one curse. The constant, above all others, is the 35-year-old Jeter, who continues his inevitable march to Cooperstown, one full-bore game at a time. Last night, he went 2-for-5 with a steal and an RBI and is now 251 hits from 3,000 and may make a run at Pete Rose before he's through. He's coming off perhaps the greatest year of his career, hitting .334 and winning his fourth Gold Glove, leading his club to a fifth World Series title in his time. "He comes ready to play, always," said Brett Gardner, who stole home on the front end of Jeter's steal of second. "It's something really special." Quick trivia question, from the Jeter Era: Who are John Valentin, Nomar Garciaparra, Pokey Reese, Edgar Renteria, Orlando Cabrera, Alex Gonzalez, Julio Lugo and Jed Lowrie? They are Red Sox shortstops who have come and gone, even as No. 2 keeps fisting inside-out hits to right and making jump throws from the hole. There will be multitude of stories this season about Jeter's expiring contract, and what position he'll play when he turns 38 or 40. In all of them he will have either no comment, or an absurdly banal one. It is the way the man conducts his business. Jeter's M.O. is calculated blandness, because it lets him do what he wants to do above all else: just play, and just win. Isn't it nice to watch a man who may be the greatest shortstop ever want the story to be about someone else? To see a sporting icon with no frills, no shtick, no check-me-out antics? Before he took the field, he was asked if that first opener seems a long time ago. "No. It seems like time went pretty quickly," he said. "That's a good thing. Last time I checked, time moves quicker when you are having fun. It's when you are struggling that it slows down." Last night was no fun for Jeter. The Yankees had a four-run lead early and then a two-run lead, and could hold neither. "It's disappointing," he said. "Anytime you score seven runs and you've got CC (Sabathia) on the mound you've got to like your chances." The result doesn't alter the larger point. Years from now, you will be able to tell people you saw Derek Jeter play. They'll ask if he really was everything they say, a star on the order of Ruth and Gehrig and DiMaggio. You'll think about all those right-field hits, the dive into the stands. You'll think about the flip play and the clutch hits and the winning, and the way he ran hard not sometimes, but every time - every at-bat, every game, every year. "He sounds too good to be true," people will say. And you'll say, "He was," and you'll be glad that you appreciated him before he was gone. wcoffey@nydailynews.com Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseb ... z0kEJMHdeb Actually Wayne, I am pretty sure that i won't be telling my grandkids about the great Jeter.

MFS62 Apr 05 2010 07:03 AM Re: Wayne Coffey sets standard in douchebag journalism

Hey, don't be so harsh on the writer. He gave us something. He told us Jeter wears knee- length underwear. And that is something that will be long remembered (and referred to) by present and future CPF-ers. Later

Edgy DC Apr 05 2010 07:14 AM Re: Wayne Coffey sets standard in douchebag journalism

He answered questions about the club he captains, about the Red Sox, starting up again. Doesn't this seem to read like he captains the Red Sox?

Willets Point Apr 05 2010 10:40 AM Re: Wayne Coffey sets standard in douchebag journalism

What is it about Yankees fans that they need constant reconfirmation of the Yankees greatness? If they go a day (an hour?) without a puff-piece will doubts start to creep in? Perhaps they may realize that Jeter is a good player, but not among the greatest of all time? Would that realization make them happier or crush their simplistic worldview?

Edgy DC Apr 05 2010 10:54 AM Re: Wayne Coffey sets standard in douchebag journalism

Holy crap! When did Willets get activated from the DL?

metirish Apr 06 2010 10:55 AM Re: Wayne Coffey sets standard in douchebag journalism

Wasn't Coffey the guy working on a Willie Randolph book and then had to shelf it after Willie got cruelly fired on the west coast late at night in a seedy part of town?

G-Fafif Apr 06 2010 11:24 AM Re: Wayne Coffey sets standard in douchebag journalism

metirish wrote: Wasn't Coffey the guy working on a Willie Randolph book and then had to shelf it after Willie got cruelly fired on the west coast late at night in a seedy part of town? Actually, he didn't finish the book because he was distracted by condensation on a water glass that, if you looked at it from just the right angle, was the spitting image of the face that graces the strut-free zone that is the New York Yankee Captain, Derek Jeter, who, on April 2, 1996, sprung forth from the tears that had been shed over the passing of the legend Mickey Mantle the previous summer to refresh a franchise and moisten a sport that cried out for his authentic brand of life-sustaining morning dew. Morning is now turning to late afternoon for the young man who matures while the rest of us merely age, but rest assured dusk is clearly in the distance and nightfall will never be nigh for the Captain of youth, of strength, of overall goodness and uncommon greatness. Derek Jeter's dressing space may be no bigger than a meat locker, but rest assured that the cut of beef that is clad in no more than a blue warmup shirt and knee-length underwear is prime rib -- the finest this correspondent has ever had the privilege of salivating over on and off the field. If any dish can be termed both well done and exceedingly rare, it is Derek Sanderson Jeter, so nice they could only name him once before the mold from which he was cast was put aside by a Deity wise enough to know perfection could not be replicated, only admired for eternity.

Edgy DC Apr 06 2010 11:28 AM Re: Wayne Coffey sets standard in douchebag journalism

Thank God you use your powers for good.

metirish Apr 06 2010 11:52 AM Re: Wayne Coffey sets standard in douchebag journalism

I'm dying over here in Valhalla. Thank you Wayne Coffey for inspiring Greg....or should I think jeter?