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Nature is Out to Kill You

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 16 2010 09:18 AM

Remote, yes. Less likely to actually suck on my eyeballs than Giselle Bundchen? Probably. But, still... holy fucking shit is this bit of news from National Geographic frightening. Puzzling scientists from the start, the up-to-three-inch-long (about seven-centimeter-long) bloodsucker has large teeth, like its dinosaur namesake Tyrannosaurus rex. The T. rex leech uses its teeth to saw into the tissues of mammals' orifices, including eyes, urethras, rectums, and vaginas. I think my vagina just sucked up inside itself.

Centerfield Apr 16 2010 09:43 AM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

Yeah, but those teeth are clearly overcompensating for something... Most leech genitalia account for large proportions of their bodies, which "makes sense, because your reproductive success is important," he said. But for a reason still unknown, the new species' genitalia are only about half a millimeter long—smaller than their nerve cords and only a tenth the size of most leech privates.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 16 2010 09:51 AM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

And Tyson was just lashing out at an absent father figure and the haunting specter of a childhood bully killing his favorite childhood pet. Still. Mom may buy them smaller cups to wear on the playing field... but dude-- they will EAT YOUR URETHRA.

Centerfield Apr 16 2010 12:04 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

I'm not saying I'd fight the guy, but if we ever happened to be interested in the same leechette...

soupcan Apr 16 2010 12:10 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

Um, aren't you Korean...?

Centerfield Apr 16 2010 12:22 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

No truth to the stereotype. I've never gotten a single complaint. And I've fucked tons of leeches.

themetfairy Apr 16 2010 12:26 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

Were they Latvian?

Centerfield Apr 16 2010 12:34 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

The best ones always are.

Fman99 Apr 16 2010 08:57 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

This is why I litter and drink water from plastic bottles. If you don't kill nature, it will kill you. Darwin.

Methead Apr 16 2010 09:37 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such nature films as "Earwigs: Eww!" and "Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory."

Ashie62 Apr 16 2010 11:59 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

[quote="themetfairy":20rpqxz3]Were they Latvian?[/quote:20rpqxz3] Orthodox

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 30 2010 01:52 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

When playing pranks on drunk friends, these dudes should probably stick with sticking the snake in a tin can. Shocked doctors in Sichuan, China, found the sea creature in the 59-year-old man's rectum after his death, it has been reported. The 50cm long Asian swamp eel was allegedly inserted into the unnamed man's bottom, after he passed out drunk, by pals playing a prank on him. Medics said the eel had devoured his bowels.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jul 02 2010 09:25 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

Nature does a pretty good job of f*cking up nature sometimes, too. An unusual clash between a 6-foot (1.8m) alligator and a 13-foot (3.9m) python has left two of the deadliest predators dead in Florida's swamps. The Burmese python tried to swallow its fearsome rival whole but then exploded. The rangers say the find suggests that non-native Burmese pythons might even challenge alligators' leading position in the food chain in the swamps. The python's remains were found with the victim's tail protruding from its burst midsection. The head of the python was missing.

Benjamin Grimm Jul 03 2010 04:14 AM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

I think this may explain Megan Fox's cotton.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jul 03 2010 07:43 AM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

[quote="Benjamin Grimm":2bew3lkk]I think this may explain Megan Fox's cotton.[/quote:2bew3lkk] A fearsome natural rivalry?

Willets Point Jul 03 2010 08:58 AM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

[quote="Benjamin Grimm":2fv9tdg5]I think this may explain Megan Fox's cotton.[/quote:2fv9tdg5] This goes way over my head.

Benjamin Grimm Jul 03 2010 09:43 AM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

A few weeks ago CF posted a photo of Megan Fox shoving cotton into her vagina.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jul 03 2010 10:12 AM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

Or is she pulling it out? I suppose that depends on whether you're an optimist or pessimist. Y'know... as regards vaginal cotton.

MFS62 Jul 03 2010 01:57 PM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

[quote="LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr"] An unusual clash between a 6-foot (1.8m) alligator and a 13-foot (3.9m) python has left two of the deadliest predators dead in Florida's swamps. The Burmese python tried to swallow its fearsome rival whole but then exploded.

But, Python VS crocodile?
We may soon find out which one wins.
And two of the 80s teen pop icons will help us see it:
http://insidemovies.moviefone.com/2010/ ... nd-each-o/

Later

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jul 24 2010 09:52 AM Re: Nature is Out to Kill You

Hell of a storm last night, eh? Crown Heights man takes a lickin', stops tickin', gets some rewindin' in the 'bus', recommences tickin'. "His feet were smoking and he was bleeding from the mouth," said Brown, who saw the horrific sight from her home. "It was terrifying." ... That's when paramedics Jing Kong, 30, and Stephen Tortoriello, 28, got the man into an ambulance and jolted him back to life.