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Father's blessing

Yes

2 votes

No, but only because he was either dead or otherwise unavailable.

3 votes

No. He was dead or otherwise unavailable, but I wouldn't have asked anyway.

3 votes

No, even though he was available and not dead.

8 votes

Benjamin Grimm Apr 20 2010 01:20 PM

Hey married guys! (Or engaged guys!) Did you ask the blessing of your future father-in-law before you "popped the question"?

TransMonk Apr 20 2010 01:26 PM Re: Father's blessing

Aren't the 3rd and 4th options the same?

Benjamin Grimm Apr 20 2010 01:29 PM Re: Father's blessing

Good catch. I've reworded option 3.

Swan Swan H Apr 20 2010 01:30 PM Re: Father's blessing

Yeah, I kind of thought the same thing about 3 and 4, but in any case I just asked. Option 4 seemed more like how it went. I was all of 21 years old, after all, and she was 22, fully grown, mature adults with full time jobs and everything - who needed parental approval?

John Cougar Lunchbucket Apr 20 2010 01:33 PM Re: Father's blessing

I sorta meant to, but never got around to it. I probably would have had Wifey felt she really "belonged" to her dad, but not really. As things turned out, I get along a lot better with him than she does.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 20 2010 01:34 PM Re: Father's blessing

My sister was 35 when my brother-in-law "asked the blessing." He was 39. I was quite surprised that he did that.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 20 2010 01:36 PM Re: Father's blessing

My answer is this one: "No. He was [crossout:3rhd0rjy]dead or[/crossout:3rhd0rjy] otherwise unavailable, but I wouldn't have asked anyway."

John Cougar Lunchbucket Apr 20 2010 01:38 PM Re: Father's blessing

This will probably be a good question to revisit when the daughters grow up (I guess maybe a few are at that stage).

Edgy DC Apr 20 2010 01:41 PM Re: Father's blessing

I'd've probably asked for a blessing --- not that she's a possession, but marrying someone makes you family with their family --- and it might be a good idea to know going in how you're going to be received. But her dad was dead, her mom was/is too ill to really keep up with things, and her brother is, well, difficult. We did make a special visit to ask her mom's blessing together, but she alternated between being surprised we weren't already married and not being quite sure who I was. I really wish we were able to have her at the wedding anyhow, but it was 140 degrees and she'd've melted away.

Swan Swan H Apr 20 2010 01:48 PM Re: Father's blessing

[quote="John Cougar Lunchbucket":3l5udw8b]This will probably be a good question to revisit when the daughters grow up (I guess maybe a few are at that stage).[/quote:3l5udw8b] Well, my daughter didn't exactly ask for a blessing to spend the past weekend in Rhode Island with her boyfriend, but knowing the boyfriend I have a feeling that if it gets to the point of marriage (and it's looking like it might) he's the blessing-asking type. At their age (24) I wouldn't expect it, nor would I be put off if it didn't happen, but I can see him doing it.

Ceetar Apr 20 2010 01:52 PM Re: Father's blessing

I didn't ask so much as inform. Showed up with the ring, let them know, but didn't quite go the whole "If it's okay with you, I'd like to ask your permission to marry your daughter". the fiance felt I should, mainly because he expected me to. But it was over 8 years at that point and seemed rather silly. So I showed them the ring, told them it'd happen in the next couple of weeks, (worried that they'd blow the surprise) and went on my way.

themetfairy Apr 20 2010 01:53 PM Re: Father's blessing

D-Dad did not ask my father for his blessing before we became engaged.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 20 2010 01:57 PM Re: Father's blessing

To my mind, it's a "blessing" you're requesting, as in the hope/well-wishes/willing approval of someone's parents, not the sort of expressed-consent you'd need in another context to re-air a MLB broadcast. It's a nice gesture, and I'd have done it had LWVaterInLawer not passed away a couple of years before the fact. (I did kindasorta do the same-- a few months before I popped the Q proper-- with LWMiL.)

Centerfield Apr 20 2010 02:00 PM Re: Father's blessing

I don't think I asked. But I do think he took it upon himself to tell me he thought it was a bad idea.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Apr 20 2010 02:03 PM Re: Father's blessing

Lol. Who would you ask in the event the child is raised by 2 women do you think? The butchier one?

seawolf17 Apr 20 2010 02:03 PM Re: Father's blessing

I informed the Wolf-in-laws that I would be proposing the following morning, but it was not for "approval" purposes.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 20 2010 02:28 PM Re: Father's blessing

[quote="John Cougar Lunchbucket":3cdd46ma]Lol. Who would you ask in the event the child is raised by 2 women do you think? The butchier one?[/quote:3cdd46ma] And what if you have differing opinions on which one is butchier? Yoy, what a can of tuna you've opened.

sharpie Apr 20 2010 02:29 PM Re: Father's blessing

He was long dead. I checked the second one because I hadn't read down to the third one. I mean, I didn't ask her mother.

Fman99 Apr 20 2010 07:58 PM Re: Father's blessing

My father-in-law, whom I get along with famously, lives in Florida. I met him and my wife's stepmother 48 hours before the wedding.

Rockin' Doc Apr 20 2010 08:48 PM Re: Father's blessing

I have always got along quite well with my wife's parents. Her father is a very sweet man and her mother was one of the most compassionate and selfless people I ever met. I never verbally expressed my intentions to marry their daughter to either of them, but I think our engagement was viewed as an eventual inevitability by them. I think it simply came a little earlier than they may have expected. I remember my parents expressing concern over our youth and the fact that I still had three years of graduate school, while my future wife had just graduated with her BS in Biology and would be joining me 500 miles away in Chicago where neither of us had a job (or any money). They never expressed concern over my choice of a spouse, they simply tried to get us to slow down and wait until she had a job and I was further through my training. Now looking back as a parent myself, I can't say I blame them for their concerns.

Edgy DC Apr 20 2010 08:57 PM Re: Father's blessing

I bet Ron Davis asked. I bet he begged.

metsmarathon Apr 20 2010 10:01 PM Re: Father's blessing

well... i guess i'm just a big old-fashioned weirdo, then...

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 21 2010 12:26 AM Re: Father's blessing

Nah. You're classy. Too classy for these philisteens.

metsguyinmichigan Apr 21 2010 04:17 AM Re: Father's blessing

I called them up and asked. Would have done it in person, but they were in the Midwest and we were in Connecticut. It wasn't a surprise to anyone that we were heading that way, but I guess I'm an old fashioned guy.

soupcan Apr 21 2010 07:32 AM Re: Father's blessing

I 'asked'. Its not like I felt I had to do it but my in-laws are old-school type of peeps and it was just out of respect to them. They appreciated it. I called them one day and asked if I could come by their house the next day to talk to them about something. The next day being a work day and they living 70 miles outside the City may have tipped them off a bit. So I got up there and we had coffee and my wife's mother finally said 'so you said you had something you wanted to talk about (this was the same lady that had cornered me about 3 months into my seeing her daughter and demanded to know my intentions)?' I told them that I was going to ask their daughter to marry me and if they were okay with that. Of course they were - I mean look at me - and gave me their blessing as it were. I had the ring with me and showed it to them. They were very happy. My wife is the youngest of their six kids and I think that finally shipping off the last one had them more relieved than excited.

Swan Swan H Apr 21 2010 07:38 AM Re: Father's blessing

[quote="Fman99":1mrh0o9d]My father-in-law, whom I get along with famously, lives in Florida. I met him and my wife's stepmother 48 hours before the wedding.[/quote:1mrh0o9d] Not enough time for a proper background check. Well played, Fman.

HahnSolo Apr 21 2010 08:22 AM Re: Father's blessing

Called up my mom-in-law the afternoon I was going to do it. Didn't ask...just let her know it was happening. Would have told my father in law, but he wouldn't have been able to hold the secret.

Nymr83 Apr 21 2010 10:36 AM Re: Father's blessing

Of course they were - I mean look at me - well played i'm not engaged and won't be any time soon (lets hope she doesnt secretly read this board), who knows whether i'll feel like asking is the thing to do by then

A Boy Named Seo Apr 21 2010 12:57 PM Re: Father's blessing

I'm old skool. If I was ever gonna do the death march, I'd ask my chick's papa if he wasn't dead or unavailable.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 21 2010 01:32 PM Re: Father's blessing

I guess I'm "new school." It never would have occurred to me at all. In fact, I was surprised when each of my two brothers-in-law did so with my parents.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Apr 21 2010 01:39 PM Re: Father's blessing

[quote="A Boy Named Seo":16e6v96a]I'm old skool. If I was ever gonna do the death march, I'd ask my chick's papa if he wasn't dead or unavailable.[/quote:16e6v96a] We need a Sheila update by the way.

A Boy Named Seo Apr 21 2010 01:44 PM Re: Father's blessing

[quote="John Cougar Lunchbucket":w2jfzec4][quote="A Boy Named Seo":w2jfzec4]I'm old skool. If I was ever gonna do the death march, I'd ask my chick's papa if he wasn't dead or unavailable.[/quote:w2jfzec4] We need a Sheila update by the way.[/quote:w2jfzec4] Done. Free agent again, and meeting with several prospectives. Hoping to find a good fit. Wakka wakka.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Apr 21 2010 01:53 PM Re: Father's blessing

Damn. And ... [url]http://www.xenafan.com/movies/bod/sounds/barneybeth.wav

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 21 2010 02:05 PM Re: Father's blessing

[quote="A Boy Named Seo":l7ygxa96][quote="John Cougar Lunchbucket":l7ygxa96][quote="A Boy Named Seo":l7ygxa96]I'm old skool. If I was ever gonna do the death march, I'd ask my chick's papa if he wasn't dead or unavailable.[/quote:l7ygxa96] We need a Sheila update by the way.[/quote:l7ygxa96] Done. Free agent again, and meeting with several prospectives. Hoping to find a good fit. Wakka wakka.[/quote:l7ygxa96] I miss the interview process.

A Boy Named Seo Apr 21 2010 02:07 PM Re: Father's blessing

[quote="John Cougar Lunchbucket"]Damn. And ... [url]http://www.xenafan.com/movies/bod/sounds/barneybeth.wav

Screw Beth, you can have her. I'm on to Monique.