Forum Home

Master Index of Archived Threads


Complete WWE Thread

PiazzaFan411
Oct 08 2005 05:49 PM

This thread covers everything in the World Wrestling Entertainment Syndicate. The procedings include:

(Note: These can be seen on Television)

WWE Monday Night RAW
WWE RAW Taboo Tuesday
WWE RAW Unforgiven
WWE Friday Night Smackdown!
WWE RAW/Smackdown! No Mercy
WWE 24/7

(Note: These can only be seen over the web)

WWE Sunday Night Heat
WWE Velocity
WWE ByteThis*

(*=This only applies to ByteThis, this show is more of an internet talk show about the WWE and will be included)

PLEASE do not make any more new threads pertaining to what I am doing here. Thanks

Sincerely,

PiazzaFan411

PiazzaFan411
Oct 08 2005 06:02 PM

(Sorry I'm late on this guys)

Here are some of the results this week in the WWE:

WWE Monday Night RAW:

!RAW Homecoming Episode!

Match #1:
Single Fall
Normal Match
John Cena def. Eric Bischoff

Match #2:
Single Fall
3 on 3 Tag Team Match
Batista, Chris Benoit, and Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guererro, JBL, and Christian
(NO CONTEST)

Match #3:
Iron Man Match
Shawn Michaels ties Kurt Angle (2-2)

Match #4:
No Pin or Submission
MITB Ladder Match (LOSER LEAVES RAW)
The Edge def. Matt Hardy

Match #5:
Single Fall
2 on 2 Tag Team Match
Ric Flair and Triple H def. Carlito and Chris Masters

Match #6:
Handicap Match
3 on 2 Bra and Panties Match
Trish Stratus and Ashley def. Torrie Wilson, Victoria and Candice

PiazzaFan411
Oct 08 2005 06:11 PM

More Results:

WWE RAW Unforgiven:

Match #1:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Kurt Angle def. John Ceno (by Disqualification)

Match #2:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Ric Flair def. Carlito

Match #3:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Shawn Michaels def. Chris Masters

Match #4:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Big Show def. Snitsky

Match #5:
No Pin or Submission
Steel Cage Match
Matt Hardy def. The Edge

Match #6:
Single Fall
2 on 2 Tag Team Match
Cade and Murdoch def. The Hurricane and Rosey

Match #7:
Team Fall
2 on 2 Tag Team Match
Trish Stratus & Ashley def. Victoria and Torrie

Match #8:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Shelton Benjamin def. Kerwin White

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 08 2005 06:20 PM

And here's what happened on The Guiding Light on Friday:

Danny's invited Marina to a beautifully decorated rooftop for a night of romance. As they dance, he tells her how much he loves her, how grateful and honored that she stuck by him through everything. All this talk freaks out Marina who just can't believe that everything's worked out. She's still worried about Michelle, about whether Danny's love for her will override what he feels for Marina. She then wonders if, when Michelle and Robbie were boarding the plane, Danny had wished he was going with them. Danny admits that he did and apologizes. Marina tells him it doesn't matter; she's just happy he decided to stay with her. Danny assures Marina that he's feelings for Michelle only centered around the baby she lost. At that moment, Mallet arrives to speak with Marina about Edmund. Realizing that Danny has no clue about this, Mallet makes a hasty retreat, leaving Marina to confess that she did some investigating about the baby Michelle lost, but now the case is closed. Danny's speechless since Marina did all of this in secret without telling him. Marina assures him that she had good intentions; she only wanted to know the truth. Danny's touched, especially because he knows how hard this must have been for her--she had to know that this could have changed everything. He's touched that she'd put Michelle above their relationship. Marina replies that she didn't do it for Michelle, she did it for him. That baby girl could have been his and she couldn't live with herself if she kept him away from his daughter. As for Michelle, she just wanted her to go away. Danny is still touched by her admission and confesses his love for her.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 08 2005 06:22 PM

Just so you guys aren't confused here is what some of this stuff means:

Single Fall- When you are taken out by a Pin, Submission or Knockout

Double Fall- For those who are foolish enough, when you get pinned, submissioned twice

No Pin or Submission- Most likely the case in a Table, Ladder, and Steel Cage Match, you can not be taken out by a Pin or submission, knockouts count as a disqualification

Normal Match- Normal Rules for the game apply

No DQ- No Disqualification, Normal Match rules apply

Ambulance Match- The Ambulance Match is one of the rarest in World Wrestling Entertainment history. Very few times have two Superstars competed in such a competition. The rules are simple, as there is only one -- the winner is the first Superstar to place his opponent into a ringside ambulance and close the door. Everything else is legal. As a result of this, Ambulance Matches often find themselves flowing outside of the ring. In addition, the ambulance is very often used as a weapon and/or launching pad.

Battle Royal- In a battle royal, a set number of Superstars (usually 20) all start in the ring at the sametime. When the bell rings, the Superstars go at it and it’s every man for himself. A Superstar is eliminated from the match once he is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. The winner of the battle royal is the last man standing

Blindfold Match- In this match, one or (usually) both Superstars have to wear a blindfold. Other than that, normal rules apply and the winner is decided by pinfall or submission. The first ever Blindfold Match was at WrestleMania VII between Jake "the Snake" Roberts and "The Model" Rick Martel. Martel had blinded Roberts when he sprayed him in the eyes with his cologne, Arrogance. The action resulted in a temporary loss of sight for Roberts. So Martel could feel what being blinded was like, both opponents were blindfolded for the match.

Boiler Room Brawl- The Boiler Room Brawl is almost non-existent in today's WWE. However, prior to the "Attitude" era, which introduced much more ringside weapons into matches, the Boiler Room Brawl was used as a way to get such items as ladders and steel pipes into matches. As the name suggests, the Boiler Room Brawl takes place inside an arena boiler room. The winner is usually the first Superstar to escape the room.

Bra and Panties Match- The name of this match alone gets red-blooded males in a frenzy. In this match, the WWE Divas participating start off in their usual ring attire. The winner of the match, however, is not the first Diva to pin the other. Rather, the winner of this match is the first Diva to strip her opponent down to her bra and panties.

Buried Alive Match-The Buried Alive Match can literally change the direction of one's career. The object of this match is to throw your opponent into a six-foot deep grave. Once he is in, the Superstar must then bury his opponent with dirt. One of WWE's most-storied Buried Alive Matches saw Undertaker fall to Mr. McMahon. As a result, Taker was missing from the WWE scene for months. When he returned at WrestleMania XX, however, Undertaker was the Deadman of old.

Casket Match- The Undertaker is single-handedly responsible for bringing the Casket Match to WWE. The object of this match is to beat your opponent to the point where he can no longer get up. Then put him in a ringside casket and close the lid. The first person to successfully do this is declared the winner.

Elimination Chamber- The Elimination Chamber is one of the most unforgiving structures in sports-entertainment history. Two Superstars start the match, while four others are held in chambers inside the structure. After a predetermined amount of time, one Superstar is released from his chamber and let out into the fray. This continues until all six Superstars have entered the action. A Superstar can only be eliminated when he is pinned or submits. The last man standing in this match is declared the winner.

Evening Gown Match- The Evening Gown Match is not all that unlike the Bra and Panties Match. The object of this contest, however, is to simply strip off your opponent’s evening gown from her body (rather than stripping her usual ring attire). If you’re looking for some classic chain wrestling, this might not be your cup of tea, but it’s the top choice for puppy lovers everywhere.

Falls Count Anywhere- Anything goes in a Falls Count Anywhere Match. Very often, the action spills out to the concession stands, to the bathroom or even outside the arena. When this happens, the referee must follow the action, as a fall can count absolutely anywhere.

(continued on next post)

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 08 2005 06:23 PM

Shouldn't you be asking if anybody cares?

PiazzaFan411
Oct 08 2005 06:27 PM

(continued from Last post)

Fatal Four Way Match- Very often, rivalries go beyond simple one-on-one disputes. When there's three Superstars involved, a Triple Threat Match is usually called. When there's four Superstars, however, the result is usually a Fatal Four Way Match. In these matches, four Superstars compete in one ring at the same time. It's every man for himself. Very often, these matches are of an elimination style, with the last man scoring a decision being declared the winner. In other cases, a Fatal Four Way Match ends with the first Superstar to score a decision picking up the win.

First Blood Match- The object of a First Blood Match is to make your opponent bleed. The first Superstar to spare a drop of blood is declared the loser. All weapons in this match are legal, as there are no disqualifications or count outs.

Handicap Match- All the same rules from a traditional match apply to a Handicap Match. The only difference is that one of the sides has more manpower than the other. In most cases, a Handicap Match is a two-on-one affair. However, two-on-three, two-on-four or even one-on-four affairs are not unheard of.

Hardcore Match- A Hardcore Match is truly that - hardcore! These types of matches are not meant for the weak of heart, as it is not unusual to see Superstars lose massive amounts of blood. There is no shortage of weapons in a Hardcore Match, either. The ring is usually surrounded by metal garbage cans, ladders, kendo sticks, fire extinguishers and so much more for Superstars to use on their opponents. Other than the usual violence, the object is the same - pin the man across the ring from you.

Hell in a Cell Match- Since its debut which saw Shawn Michaels take on Undertaker in October 1997, the Hell in a Cell Match has grown to become the most anticipated match by WWE fans. WWE Superstars, however, know that simply participating in such a match can shorten careers. In a Hell in a Cell Match, the ring and its surrounding area are covered by an enormous structure of unforgiving steel, providing for one of the most brutal atmospheres in sports-entertainment history.

Over the years, the Hell in a Cell Match has been the site of some of the most brutal images in WWE history. Nobody will ever forget King of the Ring 1998 when Undertaker literally threw Mankind (aka Mick Foley) from the top of the structure to the arena floor. In the No Way Out 2000 Hell in a Cell Match, Triple H actually slammed Foley (competing as Cactus Jack) through the top of the cage into the ring, which collapsed on impact.

I Quit Match- As the name suggests, the object of this match is to make your opponent utter the words, “I quit.” This is another match where anything goes, and the action takes place anywhere and everywhere. The referee follows the actions with a microphone in hand in the event that a competitor gives up.

Inferno Match- The Inferno Match is possibly the sickest of all WWE matches. Huge flames surround the ring, and the only way to win this match is to set your opponnent on fire.

Item on a Pole Match- In this match, a tall pole is attached the ring post. Atop that poll is an item (nightstick, pink slip, paddle...). The first Superstar to reach that item is declared the winner, and very often gets to use the item - if it's a weapon - on his opponent.

Ladder Match- A Ladder Match is usually reserved for, but not limited to, title matches. In a Ladder Match, the championship belt up for grabs is suspended above the ring. The winner is crowned once a Superstar grabs the belt. To get the belt, a Superstar must ascend a ladder quicker than his opponent. While the premise sounds simple, the match becomes much more complicated once the Superstars begin using the ladder as a weapon and/or launching pad.

(continued on next post)

PiazzaFan411
Oct 08 2005 06:27 PM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Oct 08 2005 06:32 PM

Yancy I am pretty sure there are people out there that care.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 08 2005 06:32 PM

Last Man Standing Match- Like many specialty matches, this match that is a true test of endurance as well as one’s threshold for pain. There are no disqualifications or countouts. The only way to win is to incapacitate your opponent enough so that he cannot answer a 10-count. Once a Superstar is knocked down, the referee begins to count, and if the Superstar cannot get up in 10 seconds, the match is over.

Lumberjack Match- The way to win a Lumberjack Match is the same as in a traditional match - by pinfall or submissions. A countout is almost impossible, however, as the ring is surrounded by other Superstars. Once someone is thrown out of the ring, it is the job of the Superstars around the squared circle to throw him back into the ring. Very often, the surrounding lumberjacks get in a few shots of their own.

Royal Rumble Match- The Royal Rumble Match is widely recognized as the most exciting hour of the sports-entertainment year. It only happens once a year (January) and includes 30 Superstars from both RAW and SmackDown! Each Superstar selects a number between 1 and 30. The match starts with the Superstars that picked No. 1 and No. 2. Then every two minutes, a new Superstar enters the fray. A Superstar is eliminated when he is thrown over the top rope. The last man standing is declared the winner.

Steel Cage Match- The Steel Cage Match is one of the oldest specialty matches in WWE. This type of match features an unforgiving steel structure that surrounds the ring. While inside the cage, the Superstars participating in the match usually use the steel as a weapon, throwing their opponents into it. A Steel Cage Match is won by pinfall or submission and/or escaping the cage (rules may vary depending on the individual match).

Strap Match- In a Strap Match, the competitors are connected to each other by a long, leather strap. The strap can be used as a weapon, but to win, a Superstar must touch all four turnbuckles uninterrupted and in succession. This match can also take place using a chain, bull rope, or other similar apparatus.

TLC Match- Tables, Ladders and Chairs Matches (TLC Matches) are some of the most exciting events in sports-entertainment. While the fans enjoy them, however, they can take years off a Superstar's career. In this type of match, tables, ladders and chairs are all legal. The object of the match, as is the case in a Ladder Match, is to ascend the ladder and capture a belt that hangs from the arena ceiling faster than your opponent.

Tables Match- There are no pinfalls, submissions or countouts in a Tables Match. The only way to win such a match is to put your opponent through a table. This brutal match oftentimes results in internal injuries, especially to the ribs.

Triple Threat Match- The Triple Threat Match is not all that unlike a traditional one-on-one match. The only difference is that another Superstar is thrown into the mix. All three Superstars compete at the same time, and it's every man for himself. The winner of a Triple Threat Match is the first Superstar to pick up the fall, either by pin or submission.

Two out of Three Falls Match- Very often, competing in a one fall match is enough to exhaust a Superstar. That said, a Two-out-of-three Falls Match is a true test of endurance, as the winner is not declared until a Superstar records two falls. Falls are usually awarded on the basis as a traditional match - pinfall, submission, countout, disqualification.

WWE Iron Man Match- In a WWE Iron Man Match, there is a set time limit, usually 60 minutes, and the Superstar to score the most pinfalls and/or submissions in the allotted time is declared the winner.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 08 2005 06:35 PM

A New WWE RAW/Smackdown! No Mercy is on at 8pm on Pay-Per-View

This will feature a Heavyweight Title match between the World Cahmpion Batista vs. his best friend Eddie Guerrero

KC
Oct 08 2005 06:36 PM

>>>PLEASE do not make any more new threads pertaining to what I am doing here.<<<

I think you're safe.

Pandemonium is all yours, our brother (or sister).

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 08 2005 07:01 PM

And here's what's going on in Guam this week:

Weddings abound as fifteen HK couples exchange their vows on Guam
October 7, 2005

(Friday, October 7, 2005 – Tumon, Guam) The Guam Visitors Bureau, its Hong Kong & China representative office, Continental Airlines, Hotel Santa Fe, Global Wedding and World Bridal will play host to 15 wedding couples as they exchange their vows next week Thursday.

The Guam Wedding tour will be ongoing from October 10-14, 2005. The couples will get to experience an all-inclusive wedding package, complete with celebration dinner and gifts. While on island, they will get to experience what Guam is all about, with a southern tour of the island, an array of local cuisine, and much more. Accompanying the entourage will be 7 media representatives from Hong Kong’s top publications. A joint promotion with a HK wedding expo, which was held from August 27-29, 2005, generated much interest and inquiries.
Read More...


Two GVB Employees recognized as MagHOPE 2005 awardees
October 6, 2005

(Tuesday, October 4, 2005 – Tumon, Guam) With an agency comprised of only thirty individuals, two of GVB’s hard working employees were recognized last week during the Governor’s MagHOPE Awards. Ms. Loretta Garcia, Clerk typist III/Marketing Aide, employed at the bureau for twelve years, received the award for Small Dept./Agency ‘Silent One’. Mr. Nonoy Solidum, Accountant III and an employee of the bureau for fourteen years received the award for ‘Physical Fitness and Wellness program of the year.’ All the awardees were presented with a trophy and medal.
Read More...


Dive Equipment Manufacturers Association
October 3, 2005

(Monday, October 3, 2005 – Tumon, Guam) The Guam Visitors Bureau will participate in the DEMA show 2005, in Las Vegas, Nevada from October 4 – 7, 2005. DEMA is the only international trade event for diving, action water sports and adventure travel industries.

GVB Marketing officers, Gina Kono and Felix Reyes, both experienced scuba divers, will join more than 10,000 professionals and dive enthusiasts in Las Vegas, Nevada to discuss business, pleasure, education, and dive industry advancements.
Read More...

cooby
Oct 08 2005 07:12 PM

KC wrote:

I think you're safe.

Pandemonium is all yours, our brother (or sister).



Ya never know. I haven't watched in a few years, but at one time I was a serious Eddy Guerrero fan.


You can't tell me that nobody else here used to watch wrestling late Saturday nights on Channel 9 back in the 1980's

ScarletKnight41
Oct 08 2005 08:14 PM

I actually saw Hulk Hogan wrestle at Madison Square Garden in the 80s. That man could work a crowd.


Yancy - what's up with the ABC soaps? I haven't seen them in ages.

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 08 2005 08:41 PM

ScarletKnight41 wrote:
Yancy - what's up with the ABC soaps? I haven't seen them in ages.


I thought this was the "All Purpose Post Information That Nobody Cares About Thread."

cooby
Oct 08 2005 09:56 PM

I actually saw Hulk Hogan wrestle at Madison Square Garden in the 80s. That man could work a crowd.

We saw the whole 1980's gang including Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, the Samoans, Freddie Blassy, etc, at Lock Haven University in 1983. I don't remember if Hulk Hogan was there, but I imagine he was.


Jimmy Snuka was the sensation at the time, and that was the most memorable event of the night.

Incredibly, the show ended exactly 2 hours after it began, isn't that something?

Willets Point
Oct 08 2005 10:28 PM

Pro wrestling and soap operas actually have a lot in common thematically.

Johnny Dickshot
Oct 08 2005 10:40 PM

Obviously the only way we'll ever know whether this thread really matters is if we square off Yancy vs. Piazza 411 in a Bra and Panties Match.

metirish
Oct 08 2005 10:57 PM

This thread is hilarious, Yancy in bra and nickers would be funny...I'm betting big money on Yancy...my favorite wrestler ever was Giant Haystacks, his bouts with Big Daddy were must see TV...

seawolf17
Oct 09 2005 05:19 AM

I'll never forget seeing Andre The Giant at Nassau Coliseum back in the day. He was big on TV, but he was enormous in person.

ScarletKnight41
Oct 09 2005 06:01 AM

The Nassau Coliseum is so small that even I look tall there!

Rockin' Doc
Oct 09 2005 06:26 AM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Feb 02 2006 08:20 PM

Wrestling is just poorly acted theater with a bad script. I'm with Yancy on this one.

When I wish to see a bunch of guys acting badly, I just go hang out with my buddies for a Friday night poker game.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 09 2005 06:35 AM

Friday Night Smackdown!

Match #1:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Bobby Lashey def. Eddie Craven

Match #2:
Single Fall
No Disqualification, Normal Match Rules
Booker T def. Orlando Jordan

Match #3:
Single Fall
3 on 3 Tag Team Match
Batista, Chris Benoit, and Rey Mysterio def. Eddie Guererro, JBL, and Christian

Match #4:
Single Fall
2 on 2 Tag Team Match
L.O.D def. William Regei and Paul Burchill (by Disqualification)

Match #5:
Single Fall
2 on 1 Handicap Match
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper def. Randy Orton and Cowboy Bob Orton

PiazzaFan411
Oct 09 2005 06:37 AM

WWE Monday Night RAW Preview

The WWE Homecoming last week on RAW did not go well for the McMahons, as a returning Stone Cold Steve Austin delivered Stunners to each member of the family. Backstage after being hit with the move, Mr. McMahon promised that somebody would be getting fired as a result. Who will be out of a job? Watch RAW Monday night to find out.

Triple H and Ric Flair have stood side by side for years. The 16-time World Champion Flair has even called Triple H the greatest professional wrestler of all time and his best friend. But Ric Flair has also called him the Cerebral Assassin more times than he can count, and the Cerebral Assassin took him out last week on RAW. After saving Triple H from being blasted with a sledgehammer at the hands of Chris Masters, Ric Flair had his skull bashed in with that very same sledgehammer. Triple H then beat Flair to a pulp, dragging him up the ramp and backstage until finally tossing him in a limo, asking him the question, “What were you thinking?” the whole time. No one can know for sure what Triple H meant by that question, but hopefully he will give everyone some answers Monday night on RAW.

Plus, after WWE Champion John Cena defeated RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff to retain the championship, SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long sent his SmackDown troops to the ring, “gangsta style”. During WWE Homecoming last week, Bischoff refused to allow Long’s SmackDown match to take place. Long retaliated by sending out his SmackDown Superstars to the ring to beat on Cena and Angle. Moments later, though, the RAW locker room emptied out to even the odds. What will be RAW’s response to SmackDown’s antics last week?

Don’t miss all this and more this week on RAW at 9/8 CT on the USA Network.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 09 2005 06:41 AM

WWE RAW/Smackdown! No Mercy Preview

Batista will take on a so-called new and improved Eddie Guerrero for the World Heavyweight Championship at No Mercy Oct. 9.

Guerrero claims he's more about compassion instead of manipulation and looks forward to a great match with Batista, a champion he fully admires.

The rivalry between Randy Orton and Undertaker comes to a head at No Mercy as well, when Randy and father Cowboy Bob Orton meet the Deadman in a Handicap Casket Match.

Orton has been a thorn in Undertaker's side since coming to SmackDown in the 2005 Draft Lottery; after defeating the Deadman at SummerSlam, Orton looks to end his legacy once and for all this Sunday night.

JBL has fallen on tough times, and enlisted the services of Jillian to fix his image. JBL defeated Rey Mysterio in a Tag Team Match last week on Friday Night SmackDown; can JBL take another step in rebuilding when they meet one-on-one at No Mercy, or will the 619 conquer the former WWE Champion?
Since winning the United States Championship from Orlando Jordan at SummerSlam, Chris Benoit has made a habit of making the former champion tap out in less than a minute. All the while, Christian and Booker T sat on the sidelines, waiting for their opportunity while Jordan squandered chance after chance at regaining the championship. Their wait ends this Sunday night, as Benoit defends the gold against all three men in a Fatal Four Way Match.

Since losing the WWE Tag Team Championship to L.O.D. at the Great American Bash, MNM has tried unsuccessfully several times to regain the gold. This Sunday night, MNM has a chance at a small measure of revenge when they meet L.O.D. and Christy Hemme in a Six-Person Tag Team Match.

After throwing out an open challenge two weeks ago on Friday Night SmackDown, Simon Dean was overwhelmed and defeated by a debuting Bobby Lashley. Simon gets a chance to even the score when he faces Lashley again at No Mercy.

This past week on WWE.com, Hardcore Holly threw out a challenge to Mr. Kennedy for a match at No Mercy, with Hardcore wanting to shut him up once and for all. Kennedy accepted the challenge on Byte This!, telling Holly that he has freedom of speech, and no one will ever shut him up. Kennedy cost Holly his match with Sylvan this week on Friday Night SmackDown; can the undefeated newcomer keep his record perfect when he squares off with the Alabama Slamma this Sunday night?

Also at No Mercy, Nunzio will defend the Cruiserweight Championship against Juventud. Juventud won a Cruiserweight Battle Royal on this weekend's Velocity to earn the opportunity, and gets his chance to bring the gold home to the Mexicools this Sunday night.

Matches Include:

Eddie Guererro vs. Batista
Undertaker vs. Bob and Randy Orton
Chris Benoit vs. Booker T vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Christian
Rey Mysterio vs. JBL
L.O.D vs. Christy Hemme vs. MNM
Simon Dean vs. Bobby Lashey
Hardcore Holly vs. Ken Kennedy
Nunzio vs. Juventud

PiazzaFan411
Oct 09 2005 06:42 AM

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! Preview

On the heels of No Mercy, Friday Night SmackDown will be a volatile environment when it invades San Antonio, Texas, next week.

Batista and Eddie Guerrero finally have their showdown for the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday night. Will Eddie be the one to end the Animal's 6-month reign at the top, or will Batista beat the Heat? And either way, will Eddie still want to be Batista's friend?

Also, JBL faces Rey Mysterio at No Mercy. JBL tore up a Rey Mysterio bear last week, and has had less than kind words for Mysterio recently. Will he be singing a different tune after he meets the 619 one on one?

Plus, after SmackDown and RAW battled at the conclusion of WWE Homecoming, Theodore Long has invited the RAW Superstars to show up on SmackDown, saying they would finish the war if RAW wanted to start it. JBL even said on last week's Byte This! that he would welcome RAW into his locker room. Will there be another showdown in the Alamo City?

Find out all this and more next Friday night at 8/7 CT as Friday Night SmackDown sorts out the fallout from No Mercy.

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 09 2005 08:29 AM

Here are some of the prize-winning pigeons from this year's Iowa State Fair.

Please, nobody else start a thread about this!

PIGEONS EARN RIBBONS AT 2005 IOWA STATE FAIR
Pigeons earned ribbons during competition Wednesday, August 17 at the 2005 Iowa State Fair.

A list of winning exhibitors and hometowns follows:

American Giant Homer OC
1) D.J. Morris, Newell
2) Caleb Davis, Boone

American Giant Homer YC
1) D.J. Morris, Newell
2) Caleb Davis, Boone

American Giant Homer OH
1) D.J. Morris, Newell

American Giant Homer YH
1) Caleb Davis, Boone
2) Caleb Davis, Boone
3) D.J. Morris, Newell

American Show Racer OC (Almond)
1) D.J. Morris, Newell
2) D.J. Morris, Newell

American Show Racer OC (Andilusion)
1) D.J. Morris, Newell
2) D.J. Morris, Newell

American Show Racer OC (Dark Check, Dark Black Check)
1) D.J. Morris, Newell
2) Rosaline Sterner, Van Meter

American Show Racer OC Qualmond
1) D.J. Morris, Newell

American Show Racer YC (Dark Black Check, White)
1) D.J. Morris, Newell
2) D.J. Morris, Newell

American Show Racer OH (Blue Check, Blue Bar Miss Mark, Red Velvet)
1) D.J. Morris, Newell
2) D.J. Morris, Newell
3) Rosaline Sterner, Van Meter

American Show Racer OH (Indigo Bar Miss Mark, White)
1) D.J. Morris, Newell
2) D.J. Morris, Newell

American Show Racer YH (Andilusion)
1) D.J. Morris, Newell

American Show Racer YH (Black Check, Blue Bar)
1) D.J. Morris, Newell
2) D.J. Morris, Newell

Arabian Trumpeter OC
1) Heidi and Rich Whaley, Mingo

soupcan
Oct 09 2005 08:39 AM

My new favorite thread.

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 09 2005 08:41 AM

D. J. Morris stands tall among Iowa pigeon enthusiasts.

seawolf17
Oct 09 2005 08:43 AM

I have him on my pigeon fantasy team. I'm really happy with his performance at this fair.

cooby
Oct 09 2005 08:50 AM

But that was in August-what has he done for you lately?

mlbaseballtalk
Oct 09 2005 09:54 AM

I don't know whats funnier, the fact that Piazza411 is no-selling Yancy's posts or Yancy's posts themselves

:wink:

MFS62
Oct 09 2005 10:03 AM

Yancy Street Gang wrote:
D. J. Morris stands tall among Iowa pigeon enthusiasts.


Yabbut I think Rosaline comes from Bob Feller's home town. (that's from memory, so I could be wrong).
And my cousin from Brooklyn tells me the fix was in on the competition.

Later

Valadius
Oct 09 2005 03:10 PM

I used to love wrestling, like 3 or 4 years ago. Then two things happened: WWF became WWE, and RAW and Smackdown became two separate entities. Then it just got too weird for me.

soupcan
Oct 09 2005 04:12 PM

Yeah because it wasn't weird at all before that.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 09 2005 06:07 PM

at least one person here like WWE (soupcan)

(I think.....)

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 09 2005 07:09 PM

I'm really sorry for the delay in posting this:

Dovecote, Pigeon House, Culverhouse, Doocot (Scottish)
Pigeons have been a source of food and fertiliser since the bronze age. The Romans identified five criteria essential for a good pigeon house, protection from the elements, protection from vermin, ventilation, good access, and good nesting facilities. Caves, church spires etc were used to house pigeons, but eventually purpose built pigeon houses became common all over Britain, some with marriage lintels and decorative panels, many had over 1000 nesting boxes. It was considered a legal right for any landowner to construct one, but the damage to crops eventually limited this right to those who owned land which produced crops sufficient to feed their own birds. Dovecotes are sometimes referred to as culverhouses.
Two types predominated, the beehive, circular with conical roof, and the lecturn or lean to, rectangular in plan, and usually with a mono-pitched roof. There were also many individual architectural solutions, often associated with designed landscapes, and usually very well detailed. Pigeon recipes abounded in the 17th and 18th centuries but once fresh meat became available all year round, the buildings became obsolete, apart from circumstances where the birds were decorative. Many are now ruinous, some have found new uses, one at Knapp near Dundee is now a house - Doocot Cottage.

Glossary
Glover - the open cupola which frequently sit on top of doocots, allowing access and providing a place for the birds to sit and preen.
Potence - rotating ladder providing access to nesting boxes in circular plan doocots.
Rat or vermin courses - a projecting course of masonry, often stone slates, preventing rats gaining access to the nesting boxes.

soupcan
Oct 09 2005 09:17 PM

PiazzaFan411 wrote:
at least one person here like WWE (soupcan)

(I think.....)


Oooooh, I'm sorry. But we do have some nice parting gifts for you...

Johnny Dickshot
Oct 09 2005 10:11 PM

I'll tellya somethin' Mean Gene! I couldn't sleep last night! I was out in Venice Beach California, all night man! Hangin' and bangin'! Gettin' ready to defend the World Wide Wrestling Federation title for the first time in Madison Square Garden! Hulkster's Pit! The Combat Zone! Where I won the World Wide Wrestling Federation title just a few short months ago! And I'll tell ya something Paul Orndorff! Cocky as you may be, you have met your match when you come into Hulkster's Pit, with all the Hulkamanics out there goin' wild, liftin' their weights, sayin' their prayers, and takin' their vitamins! What are you gonna do, when the world's largest arms go wild on you, Brotherrrrrr?

Rockin' Doc
Oct 10 2005 05:30 AM

soupcan - "Oooooh, I'm sorry. But we do have some nice parting gifts for you..."

It seemed only right that you be the one to break it to 411. I'm glad you let them down gently.

Yancey, when is today's pigeon update?

PiazzaFan411
Oct 10 2005 08:31 AM

WWE No Mercy Results

Match #1:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Batista def. Eddie Guererro

Match #2:
No Pin or Submission
Handicap Casket Match
Bobby and Randy Orton def. Undertaker

Match #3:
Single Fall
Fatal Four Way Match
Chris Benoit def. Booker T, Orlando Johnson & Christian

Match #4:
Single Fall
Nor Disqualification, Normal Match rules
JBL def. Rey Mysterio

Match #5:
Single Fall
Handicap Normal Match (2 on 1)
L.O.D and Christy Hemme def. MNM

Match #6:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Ken Kennedy def. Hardcore Holly

Match #7:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Bobby Lahey def. Simon Dean

Match #8:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Juventud def. Nunzio

Here are some tdbits of info.

In Match #1 between Batista and Eddie Guererro, Batista remains the World Heavyweight Champion.

In Match #8, Juventud is the new World Cruiserweight champion.

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 10 2005 09:29 AM

Rockin' Doc wrote:
Yancey, when is today's pigeon update?


No pigeon news from Iowa today. How about Alpine Dairy Goats from Kentucky?


KENTUCKY STATE FAIR


CLASSWINNERCITYSTATE

Alpine Dairy Goats



Class 001 Jr. KidDylan DalzellGermantownKY


Class 002 Intermediate KidDebra OsborneWilmingtonOH


Class 003 Sr. KidAmy WeddleGreenwoodIN


Class 004 Dry YearlingDylan DalzellGermantownKY


Class 005 Grand Champion Jr. DoeAmy WeddleGreenwoodIN


Class 006 Reserve Grand Champion Jr. Dylan DalzellGermantownKY


Class 007 Jr. Get-of-SireShady Lawn FarmsGermantownKY


Class 008 Yearling MilkerHoward C. ShelburneSimpsonvilleKY


Class 009 Two Yr. MilkerShady Lawn FarmsGermantownKY


Class 010 Three Yr. MilkerHoward C. ShelburneSimpsonvilleKY


Class 011 Four Yr. MilkerShady Lawn FarmsGermantownKY


Class 012 Five Yr. And Older MilkerBeth AdamsBethelOH


Class 013 Grand Champion Sr. DoeBeth AdamsBethelOH


Class 014 Reserve Grand Champion Sr. Shady Lawn FarmsGermantownKY


Class 015 Best UdderBeth AdamsBethelOH


Class 016 Reserve Best UdderShady Lawn FarmsGermantownKY


Class 017 Dam &amp; DaughterHoward C. ShelburneSimpsonvilleKY


Class 018 Get-of-SireHoward C. ShelburneSimpsonvilleKY


Class 019 Produce of DamShady Lawn FarmsGermantownKY

sharpie
Oct 10 2005 09:43 AM

I don't think Indiana or Ohio dairy goats should be permitted to compete in the Kentucky State Fair.

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 10 2005 09:46 AM

I think they let the Ohioans in because of Beth Adams. She has the "best udders." I'll bet she's a real crowd pleaser.

Johnny Dickshot
Oct 10 2005 10:19 AM

KC
Oct 10 2005 10:26 AM


Wrestlers just aren't hairy enough anymore

Elster88
Oct 10 2005 10:26 AM

PiazzaFan didn't know about Piazza's injury until about three weeks after it happened when someone on this board filled him in, but he is very up-to-date on his WWE stuff. And he wondered why Annie was posting here?

Elster88
Oct 10 2005 02:50 PM

Of course, to be fair, I post a lot in the Jets thread and get very little response, except a discussion of pig roasts. If PiazzaFan wants to post about wrestling, god bless him, even if most of his posts appear to be cut-and-pasted directly from other sources. In that way they're not unlike his OoTS scoreboard posts.

I don't have to read it if I don't want to, so I guess I should give him a break. I never electronically poke my nose into the college football thread, for example.

sharpie
Oct 10 2005 03:07 PM

I'm confused. What does that have to do with Beth Adams' udders?

PiazzaFan411
Oct 10 2005 05:22 PM

Thanks Elster88, at least you are seeing things the way am seeing them, and I thhank you for that. I only cut-and-pasted the previews for the shows, not the matches, I did that myself. You're probably thinking, "These posts are too close together". I know they are. I have a game called WWE Day of Reckoning 2 and I wrote a guide about it. That is why it is close. Alos, thank you for your comment on the OoTS I thought I was getting annoying with all those.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 10 2005 05:24 PM

Also Yancy,

I have enjoyed your pidgeon and goat posts and you can continue that. No problem.

Iubitul
Oct 10 2005 05:28 PM

I remember the WWF back in the day - I remember when one of the big rivalries was Jimmy Superfly Snuka v. (I use v instead of vs. for the lawyers in attendance ;-)) The Magnificent Don Muraco, and I saw them in a gym in Orange working out together...

ScarletKnight41
Oct 10 2005 05:32 PM

I thought that perhaps you used the v. because you knew of a lawsuit between them ;)

PiazzaFan411
Oct 10 2005 05:40 PM

Today's Monday and that means RAW is on.

It is on at these times:

9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time
8:00 PM Central Standard Time
7:00 PM Mountain Standard Time
6:00 PM Pacific Standard Time

There is a special Encore Presentation on Saturday for WWE AM RAW on Saturday at 9:00 AM Eastern

Elster88
Oct 10 2005 07:26 PM

]Alos, thank you for your comment on the OoTS I thought I was getting annoying with all those.

They were not annoying.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 11 2005 03:50 PM

WWE Monday Night RAW

Match #1:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Rob Conway def. Doink the Clown

Match #2:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Chris Masters def. Tajiri

Match #3:
Single Fall
Normal Match
Women's Champion Trish Stratus def. Victoria

Match #4:
Single Fall
3 on 3 Tag Team Match
Kurt Angle, Edge and Carlito def. WWE Champion John Cena, Big Show, and HBK

Valadius
Oct 11 2005 03:56 PM

PiazzaFan411 wrote:

Doink the Clown


Who does that to themselves?

seawolf17
Oct 11 2005 07:29 PM

"Mom? Dad? This is my new boyfriend, Doink."
"Doink? Nice to meet you, son. What do you do?"
"I'm a wrestling clown."

Edgy DC
Oct 11 2005 07:52 PM

I'd hate to be the guy trying to explain to his wife that he lost the rent betting on Doink.

cooby
Oct 11 2005 07:59 PM

You know, seawolf, that's a pretty picture and all, but now I keep thinking you're a girl

KC
Oct 11 2005 08:28 PM

I'm a little disappointed that no one has chimed in on George Steele.

Wrestling needs more hairy guys with green tongues.

Iubitul
Oct 11 2005 09:06 PM

You mean hairy guys with green tongues who used to be teachers....

PiazzaFan411
Oct 12 2005 03:21 PM

Doink the Clown:

ScarletKnight41
Oct 12 2005 04:56 PM

I actually have something to contribute here, from P. 10 of American Libraries (Oct. 2005) -


]Rey Mysterio, star of World Wrestling Entertainment's SmackDown! will serve as spokesperson for this year's YALSA Teen Read Week, October 16-22, which carries the theme "Get Real! @ your library."

....some of his favorite books are the Bible, the Harry Potter series, and The Cat in the Hat.

Edgy DC
Oct 12 2005 07:43 PM

Pro wrestling is just no good.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 13 2005 06:59 PM

Friday Night Smackdown Preview

On the heels of No Mercy, Friday Night SmackDown will be a volatile environment when it invades San Antonio, Texas, this week.

At No Mercy, Batista defeated Eddie Guerrero to retain the World Heavyweight Championship in a hard fought match. Afterwards, champion and challenger shook hands and all seemed well between the two. What will become of their friendship now that Batista has beaten the Heat?

Also at No Mercy, Cowboy Bob and Randy Orton defeated the Undertaker in a Handicpa Casket Match, then set the casket ablaze in a shocking display. However, when they opened the casket after the match, Undertaker was not in there. How will the Ortons react to Undertaker's mysterious disappearance?

Since SummerSlam, Chris Benoit has had Orlando Jordan's number, several times making Jordan tap out in less than a minute. Jordan hopes to make a better showing this Friday night, when he meets Benoit one on one for the United States Championship.

Also, thanks to an article in Star magazine, rumors have abounded lately about a possible love triangle involving Jennifer Aniston and reigning WWE Babe fo the Year Stacy Keibler. While she had no comment on last week's Byte This!, the leggy Diva will finally address this controversy this Friday night when she is Christian's guest on the Peep Show.
Plus, after SmackDown crashed WWE Homecoming, Theodore Long's invitation for RAW to show up at No Mercy went unanswered. Will Eric Bischoff and company show up this Friday night for another battle in the Alamo City?

Find out all this and more this Friday night at 8/7 CT as Friday Night SmackDown sorts out the fallout from No Mercy

Frayed Knot
Oct 13 2005 09:41 PM

]Find out all this and more this Friday night at 8/7 CT as Friday Night SmackDown sorts out the fallout from No Mercy


Or if you know someone who'll leak the results ahead of time we won't have to watch.

Rockin' Doc
Oct 14 2005 06:57 AM

Edgy - "Pro wrestling is just no good."

Edgy my brother, speaker of truth.

Professional wrestling is like a watching a choreographed dance between big, ugly men. Sorry just not for me.

Johnny Dickshot
Oct 14 2005 09:00 AM

I liked wrestling back in the pre-Vince Jr. days. And I liked it for all the reasons I haven't liked it since 1984:

It was the *complete opposite* of slick, produced, polished, popular and marketed entertainment. Sure it was as fake then as now, but back then there was a kind of low-budget quality, a lack of production value that made it simultaneously the worst and best show on TV.

It was on TV at the worst times (midnight Saturdays, or if you couldn't stand to wait, on 11:30 pm Fridays in Spanish). They added a 10am Saturday show. Like the Mets it was on Channel 9, always the cheapest and least attractive of the NY stations.

The matches were shot weeks ahead of time in a tiny arena in Reading, Pa. The wrestlers, and especially, the mangers, were incredibly bad actors. Vince was in his early 20s and only played the part of the straight-laced announcer. "The doctor in attendance at ringside is Doctor George Zaharian* and mmmmmmy name is Jiiiiiiiiiimmmmmm McCuuuuune."

*-later busted for dealing steroids to the talent.

A true, creepy story: One night in 1982 or maybe 1983, I'd gone to a Halloween party dressed as The Grand Wizard of Wrestling. I was still in costume when we got back to Danna Rubenstein's house and for fun watched the Spanish-language broadcast of wrestling when they announced the Grand Wizard had died!

I taped most of the shows back then. After I got the details of his death (weeks earlier as it turned out), I went back to find him being interviewed about the results of a match that had taken place after he died! (the Masked Superstar -- could there have been a lamer villian? -- lost to champion Bob Backlund at Madison Square Garden).

PiazzaFan411
Oct 14 2005 09:37 AM

Monday Night RAW Preview

Mr. McMahon promised that someone would pay for Stone Cold’s actions at WWE Homecoming, but he never officially fired anyone. Instead, WWE CEO Linda McMahon shocked the world when she fired Good Ol’ J.R., Jim Ross, from the RAW announce team and delivered a humiliating low blow as her and her family celebrated in the middle of the ring. J.R. has been the voice of RAW for years, so what will RAW sound like without the proud Oklahoman?

Plus, it seems like everyone is gunning for John Cena’s WWE Championship. Last week Big Show, Shawn Michaels, Edge, Carlito and Kurt Angle all said that they should be the new No. 1 contender. All six were involved in a monster six-man tag match last week on RAW that saw Kurt Angle pin John Cena. Will a clear-cut No. 1 contender emerge on RAW this week?

Also, Triple H revealed that he beat Ric Flair to a bloody pulp at WWE Homecoming because he couldn’t bear to sit back and watch anyone spit in the face of Flair’s legacy. The Game said that he was the one that made Ric Flair great again, but that was over now. He said that Flair is no longer the Dirtiest Player in the Game, and in fact, the game was over for Flair. Will Flair be able to respond to Triple H’s comments this week on RAW?

And this Monday will also mark the return of the Big Red Monster, Kane. We haven’t seen or heard from Kane in months. How will the big man make an impact? Plus, Mick Foley will be the guest on Carlito’s Cabana. The Hardcore Legend has been silent since SmackDown’s Randy Orton hit him with an RKO at WWE Homecoming, so Foley will surely have a lot to say.

HahnSolo
Oct 14 2005 02:14 PM

Cowboy Bob Orton is back?

sharpie
Oct 14 2005 02:17 PM

This is getting way off topic. Aren't there some spelling bee results we can ponder?

Willets Point
Oct 14 2005 03:01 PM

I admire PiazzaFan's earnestness among this elitist mocking. I still don't care about professional wrestling though.

Johnny Dickshot
Oct 14 2005 03:20 PM

Yeah,whatever. Me too.

Now let's see what's new in industrial chemicals:

US Disinfectant & Antimicrobial Chemicals Demand to Reach $930 Million in 2009

CLEVELAND, OH -- (MARKET WIRE) -- 10/10/2005 -- US demand for disinfectant and antimicrobial chemicals is projected to increase 5.0 percent annually to $930 million in 2009.

Advances will be driven by production increases in several key markets, including paints and coatings, plastics, and food and beverage processing.

In institutional and commercial markets, gains will be prompted by concerns about E. coli, Salmonella and other foodborne pathogens, as well as by threats posed by bacteria, viruses and other microbes. In the consumer segment, growth will be boosted by the preference on the part of consumers for hand cleansers, dishwashing liquids and other cleaning products that include antibacterial or disinfectant actives.

Further advances will be limited by concerns about overuse of disinfectant actives and the potential development of resistant strains of bacteria, though concerns have not yet affected demand for these products. These and other trends are presented in "Disinfectant & Antimicrobial Chemicals," a new study from The Freedonia Group, Inc., a Cleveland-based industrial market research firm.

Rockin' Doc
Oct 14 2005 04:10 PM
For sharpie - Because he asked...

Spelling Bee Results
For Faith Academy of Marble Hills

The results are in from the Faith Academy "in class" Spelling Bees. Below are the students that are eligible to attend the ACSI Spelling Bee on November 4, 2005 at Hill Country Christian School in Austin. Everyone did a wonderful job!

3rd Grade:
1st Susanna Case
2nd Calley Cozby
3rd Connor Flanagan

4th Grade:
Section 1
1st Teresa Bennett
2nd Kaylee Pope
3rd Alternate: Mitch Earwood

Section 2
1st Morgan Bland
2nd Joanna Piatek
3rd Alternate: Sage Guttes

5th Grade:
Section 1
1st Quinn Wallace
2nd Nicole Johnson
3rd Alternate: Mary Claire Walzel

Section 2
1st William Neusch
2nd Emily Wilson
3rd Alternate: Matt Pfluger

6th Grade:
1st Jonelle Frazier
2nd Kristen Lookabaugh
3rd Alternate: William Guttes

7th Grade:
1st place tie Laura Nelsen & Jordan Bland
3rd Alternate: Grace Walzel

8th Grade:
1st Deanna Hoover
2nd Christine Case
3rd Alternate: Ryan Johnson

seawolf17
Oct 15 2005 06:25 AM

YES! I have Quinn Wallace and Deanna Hoover on my spelling bee fantasy team. Very pleased with their performances there.

PiazzaFan411
Oct 16 2005 05:42 AM

OKAY. These posts about other lesser known sports a fun, but too many people are doing them. Yancy and Johnny Dickshot can keep doing these posts as can Rockin' Doc. These three CAN post about different sports. PLEASE nobody else besides these three people post these things. If you are interested, pm me or email me at jamesbondmw@adelphia.net.

Thanks,
PiazzaFan411

Iubitul
Oct 16 2005 05:59 AM

PiazzaFan411 wrote:
OKAY. These posts about other lesser known sports a fun, but too many people are doing them. Yancy and Johnny Dickshot can keep doing these posts as can Rockin' Doc. These three CAN post about different sports. PLEASE nobody else besides these three people post these things. If you are interested, pm me or email me at jamesbondmw@adelphia.net.

Thanks,
PiazzaFan411


That's like laying down rules for a knife fight...

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 16 2005 09:14 AM

Boy, I'm glad I got grandfathered in before this latest edict came down.

Anyway, here are some rules for knife fighting:


BASIC KNIFE DEFENSE
By Master Earl Weiss
Published in the Taekwon-Do Times


Knife fighting styles are of two basic types. These are the strong side forward (if right handed this is your right side forward with the knife in that hand and vise versa), or strong side to the rear. Some esoteric styles may shift the knife from hand to hand. The two basic types are each divided into two categories: knife held in saber grip, or knife held in ice pick grip.

To learn the pros and cons of each type or category, use a point sparing format. For each drill, follow these safety rules:

1. USE RUBBER KNIVES. Never use real knives. Sometimes water-soluble markers are used.
2. No techniques allowed above the shoulders. Even safety goggles won’t provide adequate protection because the blade can slip underneath, or they can come off. Students may wish to experiment with full-face motorcycle helmets having securely fastened face shields.
3. Use hand, foot and head protective sparring gear for added protection.
4. Execute all exercises with caution and under adequate supervision.

FORMAT # 1

Any touch with the knife to any part of the partner’s body wins. If your partner touches you first, you must acknowledge the point. You can the continue for the next encounter using this format. Experiment with this format by having each partner use one of the fighting types and categories mentioned above. Experiment by using identical types and categories against each other, and then different ones against each other.

FORMAT # 2

Explore the various combinations of types and categories, but this time you can win if you give up one secondary target to score on a primary target. You can modify the rules to give up two secondary targets, etc., but it would not be realistic to give up ten secondary targets.

FORMAT # 3

Use both formats number one and two, but now use kicks, punches and various other martial arts techniques. Try to avoid, counter, grab and control the knife or knife hand.

FORMAT # 4

Experiment with empty hand techniques verses the various knife fighting styles after becoming acquainted with various types and categories.

FORMAT # 5

Have the opponent execute a knife blitz and do your best to sidestep, parry, evade, control and counterattack the knife.
REMEMBER . . .

It is easy to be slashed in a knife fight!

Strong side forward saber grip is effectively used for a reach advantage and to slice secondary targets on any incoming attack.

Strong side back saber grips keep the knife away from the opponent’s kicks and blocks. The lead hand can be used to give up the secondary target to create an opening in the opponent’s primary target.

Strong side forward with the ice pick grip, while used in many Filipino arts for slashing and hooking, does not use the reach advantage of the saber grip. When faced with someone using this method, you should realize that they either don’t know what they are doing, they are crazy, or they’re very good.

Strong side back ice pick grip is the least efficient, but the navive opponent may use this for a blitz.

USING THE ENVIRONMENT

Using the environment is somewhat difficult to practice in the dojang. To do so, the instructor needs to provide various items such as a broom or chair to neutralize the reach advantage and strike at the incoming knife or arm. Explore the use of other common items. For example, remove your belt and swing the buckle at the hand holding the knife or wrap your hand and arm in our jacket to block or parry the knife.

CONCLUSION

There is no 100% guarantee that any martial art knife defense will work in any given situation. But the more you learn and practice, the greater your chances for survival.

Rockin' Doc
Oct 16 2005 12:51 PM

Whew, just made it under the wire as an approved smart ass.

To bad they can't train pigeons to knife fight during a spelling bee. Now that would be entertainment worth giving up my Friday night for.

seawolf17
Oct 16 2005 04:46 PM

Wow... it's balls ordering people not to post in a thread on a public forum. Luckily, I don't have a knife fighting fantasy team. But if I did...

Elster88
Oct 17 2005 09:05 AM
Edited 2 time(s), most recently on Oct 17 2005 10:37 AM

="PiazzaFan411"]OKAY. These posts about other lesser known sports a fun, but too many people are doing them. Yancy and Johnny Dickshot can keep doing these posts as can Rockin' Doc. These three CAN post about different sports. PLEASE nobody else besides these three people post these things. If you are interested, pm me or email me at jamesbondmw@adelphia.net.

Thanks,
PiazzaFan411


Whoa, whoa, whoa.

To think I defended you.

This type of challenge will not go unmet. I do not like it when edicts are posted.

Magic:The Gathering Tournament Results
Dueling Grounds Ontario Vintage Champs 2 Coverage


JayC writes: I apologize for the lateness of this coverage, as school, exams and papers have taken up a lot of time. I hope everyone understands, but they're finally here!

What: Dueling Grounds Ontario Vintage Championship II
Where: Toronto
When: Sept. 4th, 2005

Round 1: Peter Olszewski vs. Ray Mitchell
As it turned out, these two friends were paired up against each other. It's just a coincidence since I only meant to feature Peter. They wished each other good luck and started. Ray, yet again, is playing Cherry Parfait, and Peter is playing 4C Control. Ray started with Mox Pearl and passed. Peter started with a Library. Ray Enlightened Tutored and got Land Tax on Peter's end step. Ray played Land Tax and Peter drew with the Library, eventually deciding to Force of Will, removing Brainstorm. Peter tapped to draw, then laid a Tundra with a full grip. Ray played a Lotus Petal, sacrificing for Balance with three cards and no lands in play. Peter let it through, discarding Mana Drain, Cunning Wish, Wasteland and Time Walk. Peter played a Delta and said go, then followed up with a Strip Mine. Ray laid a plains and played Scroll Rack. Peter played a Wasteland, Mox Jet and Stripped the plains. Ray Racked for four and said go. Peter fetched and went to 18, getting an Underground Sea, then tapped out for a Skeletal Scrying for 2. Peter played a Mox Pearl, then accidentally laid a Fact or Fiction, then a Lotus, then Ancestralled, then laid a Volcanic Island, followed by a face down creature. Ray played his own Lotus, sacrificing for white and played Humility. Peter got a Tundra, having access to all his colours now. He went for Fact or Fiction, revealing Mox Sapphire, Cunning Wish, Mox Emerald, Mana Drain and City of Brass. The choices were City, Mana Drain and the Emerald or Wish and Sapphire, with the smaller pile being selected. He played the Mox Sapphire and said go. Ray, meanwhile, was still stuck on just the Pearl.

"We fear the Mox monkey." - Ray Mitchell

He Racked for four, still with no land. Peter wished for a Disenchant and removed the Humility. He then Demonic Tutored for Yawgmoth's Will. Peter laid out his potential Will shenanigans and settled for replaying the Lotus, Mox Emerald, tapping the Sapphire for Ancestral, tapping the Emerald for Sol Ring, then Disenchanting the Mox Pearl, then taking another Walk. Ray scooped.

Ray boarded in 4 Red Blasts, while Peter boarded in two Engineered Explosives, 3 Rack and Ruin, a Blue Elemental Blast and a Disenchant.

Ray started with a plains and a Sol Ring. Peter's opening was City of Brass. Ray tried a Blood Moon, and Peter Ancestralled in response, then Forced, pitching another. Peter played a Mox Jet, tapped it for Sol Ring, played a Volcanic Island, then Mind Twisted for 3, nabbing Blood Moon, Charbelcher and Plains. Ray had nothing on his turn and passed it back, while Peter played a Strip Mine, Stripped a plains and said go. Ray went for the Scroll Rack and said go. Peter Rack and Ruined both of Ray's artifacts. Ray Enlightened Tutored for Land Tax. Ray tried for Land Tax and Peter Drained, but Ray Red Blasted back. Ray then got his lands, then showed off a just-drawn plains. Peter drew a card with Library of Alexandria, then cast Time Walk, taking his Walk turn, played an Emerald and said go. Ray Taxed again, getting 2 plains. Ray tapped out for Humility and Peter let it resolve. Peter played a Lotus and said go. Ray tried for another Humility, and Peter drew with the Library, and let it resolve. Peter laid an Underground Sea, and then a Gorilla Shaman. Ray Taxed, getting a mountain. Ray tried to Swords the Shaman, successfully removing him from the game. Peter played a Mox Ruby and Underground Sea and discarded a Volcanic Island on end step. Ray counted his mana, and then said go. Ray played Argivian Find, targetting Blood Moon and got it back. Peter Mystical Tutored during his main phase with seven in hand plus the Library, getting Yawgmoth's Will, which happened to be the bottom card. Peter sacrificed the Lotus for black, then Mind Twisted Ray's entire hand, he Ancestralled, then Time Walked, then Mystical Tutored getting Disenchant. Taking his Time Walk turn, Peter played an Engineered Explosives set to 4, and then tapped to draw a card, then played a face down creature. Ray Taxed, getting a mountain. Peter blew the Engineered Explosives, and swung with the face down creature. Ray went for Scroll Rack, then Racked for two. He then cast Argivian Find, targeting Blood Moon and Peter let it resolve. Ray then cast Blood Moon, but Peter Disenchanted it, drew a card with Library, then Rack and Ruined the Mox Pearl and Scroll Rack. Exalted Angel went in for another four. Peter Cunning Wished, going for Ancestral, casting it, then Brainstormed.

"You're just being greedy now." - Paul Shriar

Peter swung, then played Gorilla Shaman. Ray cycled Slice and Dice, killing the Shaman. Peter played a second face down creature. The two friends ended up drawing, in order to maximize their chances of making Top 8, but they wanted to play it out "for the fans".

Round 2: Bryan Finch vs. Richard Mattiuzzo
Apparently the overall record of Finch vs. Mattiuzzo is 8-2 for Richard, and they discussed previous tournaments before starting off. Bryan won the die roll and elected to go first. Bryan mulliganed to start off the game. He started with an Underground Sea, Mox Emerald and then Night's Whisper. Richard started with Mox Pearl, Ruby, then Tolarian Academy and passed it back. Bryan played a Tropical Island, then Quirion Dryad, which met a Mana Leak from Richard. Richard Wasted the Underground Sea, then Thirsted for Knowledge, discarding Mox Emerald. Bryan played a Polluted Delta and passed. Richard laid a Workshop, then went for Crucible of Worlds. Finch AK'd for one, putting Richard into deep thought, then let it resolve. Bryan then AK'd for two, and laid a Flooded Strand. Richard then Wasted the Tropical Island, and said go. Bryan fetched an island, avoiding Wasteland recursion, then played a Psychatog. Richard Wasted the Underground Sea and played a second Crucible of Worlds. Bryan swung with the Tog, hitting for one. Richard Wasted a Tropical Island and seemed happy just Wasting lands. Bryan played a Mox Ruby and swung in for one with the Tog. Richard then played a Mox Sapphire and said go, having access to 12 mana by that point. Bryan tried for a Cunning Wish, which Rich allowed, and went for a Berserk. Bryan fetched, getting a Tropical Island and swung, pumping the Tog to nine power and casting Berserk. Richard Forced, but Bryan Forced back, dealing exactly the 18 damage he needed.

Richard started off with a Polluted Delta, cracked it to grab an Underground Sea, played Mox Emerald and tried to take a Time Walk. Bryan decided to Force, removing Brainstorm. Bryan then laid a Delta, fetching a basic island, played Mox Jet and cast Night's Whisper. Richard played Mox Pearl, followed by Crucible, then replayed his Delta. Bryan played a Flooded Strand, popping it and getting a Tropical Island, and played a Quirion Dryad. Richard cast Thirst for Knowledge, discarding Darksteel Colossus, obviously shuffling it back. He then played a Wasteland and used it on the Tropical Island. Bryan AK'd for one, putting a counter on his Dryad and swung for 2. Richard played Tolarian Academy, and resolved Fact or Fiction, revealing Mox Ruby, Mana Leak times two, Library and Crucible of Worlds. Bryan split it up: Mana Leak/Crucible/Mox Ruby or Mana Leak/Library and Rich took the bigger pile. Bryan played a Ruby of his own, then swung in for 2 with his Dryad. Richard Wasted Bryan's Underground Sea, then played a Chalice of the Void set to one. Finch swung in for another 2, played an Underground Sea and passed it back. Richard replayed the Library, and drew a card off it. He then cast Demonic Tutor, prompting Bryan to Mana Drain. Richard played a Mox Ruby and went for the throat, playing Tinker, sacrificing the Mox Pearl, getting Darksteel Colossus, and Wasting Bryan's Underground Sea. His next turn, Richard drew an extra card off the Library, then played a fetchland and cracked it, getting an Underground Sea, played a Mox Jet and rumbled over with the Colossus, taking Bryan to 2. Bryan drew his card and scooped.

Bryan led with a Flooded Strand, while Richard started with a Polluted Delta. Rich cracked first, getting an Underground Sea, playing a Sol Ring, and a Lotus and said go. At this point, I noticed Richard's habit of passing priority by using the phrase "How's that?" almost to finish off with "It hurts, doesn't it?". Bryan got an Island, Brainstormed on Richard's end step, then played an Underground Sea and passed it back. Richard played Mox Sapphire, then Mishra's Workshop, having access to 10 mana by turn 2. Bryan played a Library and passed it back. Richard tapped for 5, and played a Disk, burning for 1. Bryan drew a card with the Library, then discarded Quirion Dryad. Bryan played Mox Emerald, then drew with the Library, then discarded AK. He also Brainstormed at the end of Richard's turn. Bryan tried to play Night's Whisper, but Richard Mana Drained. Bryan then discarded a Daze. Richard played Mox Emerald, then tapped to play Darksteel Colossus, which Bryan attempted to Mana Drain. Richard responded with Ancestral, and Bryan Misdirected, then Richard Forced, which was Forced back. In the end, Bryan drew 3 cards and Darksteel Colossus was countered. 11 mana was now in Bryan's mana pool. Now Bryan would have way too much mana as opposed to hunting for land. Bryan played Lotus, Jet, then cast Gush, sinking 4 mana, then played Night's Whisper (now with just 6 mana in his pool), then cracked his Lotus for 3 blue, and played Accumulated Knowledge, then AK'd again, then played Underground Sea, then Naturalized the Disk, then played a Psychatog, finally passing the turn back. Phew! Finch AK'd for 4, which met with Mana Leak. He then went for Quirion Dryad, followed by Night's Whisper. Bryan cast Demonic Tutor, then played a Strip Mine and got rid of the Underground Sea, then attacked with a lethal Tog.

Round 3: Dan vs. Gregory Darkeff
Darkeff's resume includes a JSS victory and a GPT and PTQ win. {As well as a Regionals T8. Don't worry, he'll tell you everything. Trent} He also now has a history of getting his ass kicked after starting 2-0, to good matchups to boot. Dan started off with Mox Sapphire, Swamp and Ancestral Recall, then Duressed, looking at 5 land and 2 Goblin Piledrivers. Darkeff laid a Wooded Foothills and said go. Dan played a Mana Crypt, Underground Sea, then cast Intuition, giving Darkeff the choice between 3 Bazaar of Baghdads. Darkeff popped his Foothills, getting a Taiga, and played a Piledriver. Dan won the coin flip on the Mana Crypt, then Bazaared, discarding Ambassador Laquatus, Squee and Underground Sea. Darkeff hit him for one with the Piledriver, then played another. Dan won the coin flip for the Crypt again, and Bazaared, discarding a Squee and some land. Dan Duressed and saw lots of land and a Goblin Matron. Darkeff played a Goblin Warchief and swung in for 12. Dan lost the flip for Crypt, Bazaared, discarding Squee, Sliver Queen and Compulsion, played a Mox Pearl and then Intutioned, getting 3 Worldgorger Dragons. He then played Animate Dead, ending the game.

Nearly 12 cards came out of Darkeff's sideboard, having feared combo decks the most. Dan was surprised by the large amount of cards coming into his opponent's deck, as Dan merely had 2 cards to bring in. Darkeff started off with Wooded Foothills, then Tormod's Crypt. Dan's opening was Mox Ruby, then Mox Sapphire, which Darkeff responded to by fetching, then Dan played a swamp. Darkeff played a Lotus Petal, then a Goblin Warchief, swinging in for 2. Greg laid a Taiga, playing a Goblin Matron which got him a Piledriver, cast it and swung in for 8, taking Dan down to 10. Dan did nothing and passed the turn back. Greg swung in for another 8, bringing Dan to 2, then played a Gorilla Shaman and ate both of Dan's Moxen. Darkeff didn't forget to swing, so it went to game 3.

Dan elected to keep a pretty weird hand, consisting of almost all of his Worldgorger Dragons. He played Mox Sapphire, Tropical Island and Ancestralled. Greg lead with a Tormod's Crypt and a mountain, saying go. Dan played a Compulsion and a Delta. Greg then went for Blood Moon off a Lotus Petal, and Dan fetched for an Island. Dan laid a Swamp, Compulsioned away a Dragon, and Compulsioned again, discarding Squee. Darkeff had Ancient Tomb and Goblin Matron, getting Warchief. Dan Compulsioned, ditching Squee, then played a non-basic land and Duressed Greg. Greg revealed a hand full of goblins. Greg played another Tormod's Crypt, then played the Warchief, swinging in for 3. Dan Compulsioned away a Squee, played a swamp and Intuitioned. Choosing between Chain of Vapor, Vampiric Tutor and Demonic Tutor, Darkeff gave Dan the Chain. Greg ripped a second Piledriver, then played another, swinging in for lethal. How Lucky!

Round 5: Duncan McGregor vs. Nick Rosu
Both these players are 3-1, looking for a win and the ability to draw in the next round. Duncan is a local judge, who recently took up Type 1 and is playing Fish. They wished each other good luck, and they were off. Duncan started off with an Island, and Nick led with Mountain and Jackal Pup. Duncan laid a Volcanic and played a Spiketail Hatchling. Nick cast Grim Lavamancer and swung in with the Pup, which Duncan elected to block. Duncan played a Voidmage Prodigy and passed the turn while Nick Wasted Duncan's Volcanic. A Chain Lightning was pointed at the Voidmage, and Duncan had the Misdirection to hit Grim Lavamancer instead. Kai swung for two, but Duncan had no second land. Nick played a Barbarian Ring and attempted to Incinerate Kai, and Duncan let it through. Nick pointed a Lightning Bolt at Duncan, and then Forked it. Duncan found his second land, and Time Walked, using his second turn to play a Standstill. Nick Bolted Duncan in response. On his turn, Nick laid a Wasteland and passed the turn. Duncan still felt the pain of being at one land. Nick played a Ball Lightning, which met Force of Will. Duncan "sent out" a Polluted Delta, getting a Volcanic Island, and then played a Grim Lavamancer. The Barbarian Ring pinged the Lavamancer, but Duncan had found his 3rd land and another Lavamancer as well. Duncan found a Wasteland and attacked with the Lavamancer and a Mishra's Factory, ending his turn with a Spiketail Hatchling. Nick tried for a Price of Progress, and Duncan decided it needed some Forcing. Nick tried to Fireblast, and brought Duncan down to 4. Duncan showed me 3 Null Rods in his hand, a dead card in this matchup, and Nick showed Duncan another Fireblast to end the game.

Duncan elected to play, and started the game off with a first turn Grim Lavamancer, while Nick did the same. Nick tried to Chain Lightning the Lavamancer, and Duncan had the Misdirection to shoot Nick's own Lavamancer. Nick tried to Chain Lightning the Lavamancer again, and Duncan shot Nick with it. Duncan then played a Maze of Ith, quite good against Ball Lightning and his friends. Nick played a Jackal Pup, and then Wasted the Maze. Duncan then played a Library, while Nick just swung in, but the Pup was met with Fire. Wasteland dealt with Duncan's Faerie Conclave, and Duncan played an island while Nick had a Barbarian Ring. Duncan Wasted Nick's non-threshold Barbarian Ring and Nick replaced it with one that was now at threshold. Nick pointed an Incinerate at Duncan at end of turn. On his turn, Nick tried a Ball Lighting, but Duncan Iced it down. Duncan played a Kai and passed the turn. Nick Chain Lightninged the Kai, and a Price of Progress brought Duncan down to 10. Duncan played a Standstill, while Nick played a Mogg Fanatic. Duncan Wasted the Barbarian Ring, and Nick sent it to the dome. Duncan tried for a Grim Lavamancer, and topped it off with a Spiketail Hatchling. Nick swung with the Fanatic and then finished off the Lavamancer. Duncan made the Hatchling Curious, then swung in with it, drawing a card. Duncan then played a Gorilla Shaman. Duncan played another Curiosity, on the Gorilla Shaman this time, and swung in for 2, drawing 2 cards, putting his hand size to 8, then discarded Wasteland. Nick played a Lavamancer. Duncan tapped five lands and announced:

"A.C.C. Force of Will." {Sometimes I forget Force has a mana cost.}

Duncan played a Mishra's Factory, then made the Gorilla Shaman very Curious once again, followed by Cloud of Faeries. He drew a card with the Library, untapped the Library, Time Walked, then drew another card. On to game 3...

Nick started off with Jackal Pup, while Duncan led with a Mishra's Factory. The Pup brought Duncan down to 18, and Nick followed with Mogg Fanatic. Nick tried to play a Ball Lightning, but Duncan had a Fire to take out a Pup and the Ball. Duncan played a Cloud of Faeries, then another, then a Spiketail Hatchling. Nick swung his Mogg Fanatic into the 3 fliers, but didn't know how to take out two creatures by putting damage on the stack. Chain Lightning went to the dome, and Duncan swung in with everything, drawing with Curiosity. Nick laid a Wasteland, then another Pup, then Wasted the Factory. Another Cloud of Faeries from Duncan continued on, into a Grim Lavamancer. Chain Lightning targetted the Lavamancer, but Duncan had the Misdirection to hit the Pup instead. Nick played another Lavamancer, but Duncan finished him off with his own Lavamancer.

Round 6: Steven Brown vs. Andrew Oyen
Steven won the die roll and elected to play. He led with Volcanic Island and Grim Lavamancer. Andrew started with Flooded Strand and Mox Sapphire. Steven had an island and swung with the Lavamancer. He tried for Cloud of Faeries, and Andrew fetched a Tundra. Andrew tried to Mana Drain the Cloud but Steven Dazed. Steven put Curiosity on the Cloud of Faeries to end his turn. Andrew laid a Crucible of Worlds and passed. Steven attacked for two, drew a card and played a Spiketail Hatchling. Andrew laid a Tropical Island and Brainstormed, then played a Sylvan Library and passed the turn back. Steven swung for 3 and drew his card, then played Crucible of Worlds, but it was met with Force of Will, removing Stroke of Genius. Steven Forced back, removing Spiketail Hatchling. Andrew Naturalized the Curiosity and replayed the Flooded Strand. Steven played his own Flooded Strand and swung in for two, then played another Spiketail Hatchling, which was met with Mana Drain. Andrew mana burned for two, and Steven finished the job.

Andrew elected to play first, keeping a 5 land hand and leading with Flooded Strand. Steven mirrored and passed the turn. Andrew then played an Underground Sea. Andrew Wasted the Volcanic Island and Ancestralled, meeting a Red Elemental Blast. Steven played his Cloud of Faeries, then Wasted the Underground Sea. Andrew laid a Tropical Island, then said go. Steven had Mishra's Factory, then swung with the Cloud of Faeries. Andrew played Gemstone Mine, but nothing else. Steven laid Volcanic island, and swung with the Factory. Andrew Naturalized it, but that was met with Force. Andrew tried to Mystical Tutor, but that was stopped by REB. Andrew played Oath of Druids, and finally something resolved.

"Sweeeeeeeet!" - Andrew

Steven played a Grim Lavamancer, and Stripped a Tundra. Andrew Oathed, getting Darksteel Colossus, almost his bottom card. The Colossus came out, and Andrew positioned it right in front of Steven. Steven swung in for one, and Andrew swung in for 11. Andrew topped it off with a Sylvan Library, while Steven just drew, then conceded.

In between games, Steven decided his sideboard strategy would change for this game. Andrew knew what was up, and asked for the Oracle wording "on a card", obviously referring to Sigil of Sleep, a card that could nullify Oath of Druids. Steven was hiding nothing, and flipped over the card to save time for the third game.

They both kept for game 3, and Steven led with an island, which Andrew had a Strip Mine for. Steven laid a Wasteland and said go, while Andrew played an island and Mox Jet, casting Demonic Tutor for Ancestral. Steven played a Volcanic Island, then Cloud of Faeries, followed by another, then Standstill with 3 cards in hand. It was met by Force of Will. Andrew played Wasteland, Zuran Orb, then Ancestralled himself. He finished off by Wasting Steven's Volcanic. Steven swung with his Faeries, and used a Flooded Strand, getting Tropical Island. He then played Fastbond, allowing him to play a Wasteland and Flooded Strand. Crucible of Worlds facilitated the gaining of 84 billion life.

Round 7: Andrew Oyen vs. Bryan Finch
These two players have to play out their match, and this is a place where Bryan is familiar, being on the cusp of Top 8. Andrew won the die roll, 9 to 8. He led with Wasteland and Mox Sapphire, while Bryan had an Underground Sea. Andrew Wasted it, Finch Brainstormed in response. Andrew played a Strip Mine. Brian laid a Tropical and said go, while Andrew played draw-go. Bryan went straight to his discard phase, and Andrew Stripped his Tropical. The only permanent on the table now was Oyen's Mox Sapphire. Andrew discarded a Balance. Bryan played a Black Lotus and it resolved. Andrew found a land in Cephalid Coliseum.

"That's highly unfair." - Bryan
"You mean land?" - Andrew
"Yeah." - Bryan

Bryan discarded Gush, making a very sad face. Andrew had Flooded Strand, and cracked it to get a Tropical Island. Andrew Time Walked and played Crucible of Worlds. Bryan Forced, which met with Andrew's Force, but Bryan had another Force.

"You won the war." - Andrew

Bryan topdecked an island and said go. Andrew then attempted another Crucible of Worlds, and Bryan attempted to Daze, cracking his Lotus. He then cast AK for two and topdecked another Daze. Andrew played Gemstone Mine. Bryan replied with a Quirion Dryad, which immediately took up farming. Andrew then pulled out the fourth Crucible of Worlds, and had the 3rd Force to back it up. Andrew replayed the Strip Mine, and Stripped an island. Andrew Coliseumed himself, then Wasted Bryan's last land. Andrew replayed the Coliseum, then drew another 3. Bryan scooped.

"People assume this deck has a win condition, but it really doesn't. No, no, that's a lie. It does have a win condition." - Andrew

Bryan started with Tropical, then Mox Ruby, while Andrew played Mox Emerald, then played a fetchland to get his own Tropical Island. He Naturalized Bryan's Ruby and Bryan responded by Brainstorming. Bryan drew Mox Sapphire and played it, and Andrew tried Crucible, which was met with Mana Drain, which was met with Force of Will, which was met by another Force. Bryan burned for his efforts. Andrew played another Crucible, which was met with yet another Force of Will. Andrew cast Gaea's Blessing, targeting Crucible, Crucible and Naturalize. Andrew then Blessinged again, bringing back the Blessing and Force. Andrew played a Sylvan Library, increasing his future card quality. Bryan played a Yawgmoth's Will saying, "This is such a bloody waste".

Bryan played a land and Mox, then Brainstormed, followed by Mox Pearl, and Finch sighing and shaking his head at his weak Yawgmoth's Will. Andrew paid 8 life to draw 3 cards, then laid Crucible of Worlds, prompting a "Moooooo!" from Andrew and Darkeff. A fetch from Bryan was met by Stifle from Andrew, and Bryan sighed, slumping. Bryan played Quirion Dryad, then cast Cunning Wish, getting Oxidize, and killed the Crucible. Andrew Time Walked, then used his extra turn to Swords the Dryad and Waste Finch's Sea. Bryan AK'd for one, and passed it back. Andrew paid 4 life to Sylvan, then passed the turn back. Bryan laid Strip Mine, and Andrew Ancestralled, but Bryan hard cast Force. Bryan cast AK for two, and Andrew Brainstormed. Andrew played Lotus, then tried for another Crucible, which was Mana Drained by Bryan, who mana burned for 3 and passed the turn back. Bryan suggested Oyen pay 8 life, but Andrew tried for Gaea's Blessing, targeting Blessing, Ancestral and Crucible. Off the cantrip, Andrew drew his one Darksteel Colossus. Bryan played Library of Alexandria at 6 cards in hand. Andrew Ancestralled, and Bryan Misdirected, but Andrew Mana Drained. Bryan Brainstormed in response, but had to allow Ancestral to resolve. Andrew then hard cast the Colossus during his second main phase.

"That I will counter." - Bryan said, triumphantly returning his Tropical Island to his hand and throwing Daze onto the table. The crowd and Andrew groaned at the late-game Spike of the 11 mana spell.

Bryan cast Demonic Tutor, getting an Ancestral Recall, which he cast. He then drew a card off Library, played a Mox Jet, followed by Night's Whisper and a discarding of Tropical Island. Andrew cast Blessing, putting back Blessing, Ancestral and Time Walk. Bryan cast Accumulated Knowledge for 3, and Andrew Mana Drained, but Bryan Misdirected. Bryan cast Cunning Wish, getting Vampiric Tutor. Andrew cast his own Tutor, a Demonic, getting Ancestral, which he played. Bryan drew a card off his Library, then Mystical Tutored for Force of Will, then realized he couldn't Brainstorm without cracking his Polluted Delta, but it didn't matter, since Andrew had Stifle for the fetchland. With Ancestral still on the stack, Bryan Stripped the island, and Andrew floated, got a Tundra, then laid a Glacial Clasm. Andrew then cast Balance. Bryan played Quirion Dryad, then cast Night's Whisper. Andrew cast Oath of Druids, and Bryan Brainstormed, having to let it resolve. Bryan went for a second Quirion Dryad, then Andrew tried to Swords the first Dryad, but it was met with Force of Will. A Darksteel Colossus Oathed out of Andrew's deck, and his graveyard was shuffled into his library via Blessing. Andrew Swordsed the Quirion Dryad, and the match ran out of time, giving it to Andrew.

The Top 8, in alphabetical order were:
Steven Brown - Old Faerie Men
Gregory Darkeff - Food Chain Goblins
Matt Locke (Best Name Evar!) - Cogs!
Richard Mattiuzzo - Crucible Control
Duncan McGregor - Intraweb Fish
Andrew Oyen - CoW Control
George Popescu - Ninja Fish
Paul Shriar - GroMask

Steven Brown - Old Faerie Men
1 Fire/Ice
2 Old Man of the Sea
4 Grim Lavamancer
4 Spiketail Hatchling
4 Cloud of Faeries
4 Curiosity
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Time Walk
2 Daze
4 Standstill
4 Force of Will
3 Null Rod
3 Crucible of Worlds
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Library of Alexandria
1 Strip Mine
4 Flooded Strand
1 Polluted Delta
3 Island
4 Volcanic Island
4 Mishra's Factory
4 Wasteland

SB:
3 Rack and Ruin
1 Blue Elemental Blast
2 Sigil of Sleep
2 Maze of Ith
2 Stifle
2 Fire/Ice
3 Red Elemental Blast

Gregory Darkeff - FCG
4 Goblin Piledriver
4 Skirk Prospector
4 Goblin Ringleader
4 Goblin Lackey
4 Food Chain
2 Siege-Gang Commander
2 Goblin Sharpshooter
4 Goblin Warchief
4 Goblin Recruiter
2 Gempalm Incinerator
1 Goblin Matron
1 Wheel of Fortune
1 Sol Ring
1 Mox Emerald
1 Mox Ruby
1 Chrome Mox
5 Mountain
4 Taiga
3 Wasteland
1 Strip Mine
4 Wooded Foothills
2 Ancient Tomb
1 Forest

SB:
3 Tormod's Crypt
3 Artifact Mutation
1 Gorilla Shaman
1 Rack and Ruin
3 Blood Moon
4 Pyroblast

Matt Locke - Cogs
1 Balance
1 Black Lotus
1 Strip Mine
1 Timetwister
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Ruby
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Library of Alexandria
1 Fact or Fiction
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Sol Ring
1 Time Walk
1 Wheel of Fortune
4 Force of Will
3 Trinket Mage
4 Auriok Salvagers
4 Thirst for Knowledge
4 Mana Drain
3 Fire/Ice
3 Brainstorm
2 Cunning Wish
1 AEther Spellbomb
2 Pyrite Spellbomb
1 Viashino Heretic
2 Plateau
2 Flooded Strand
2 Island
4 Wasteland
4 Volcanic Island
4 Tundra

SB:
2 Hurkyl's Recall
1 Hibernation
2 Swords to Plowshares
1 Rack and Ruin
1 Shattering Pulse
1 Lion's Eye Diamond
2 Red Elemental Blast
2 Tormod's Crypt
1 Echoing Truth
2 Stifle

Duncan McGregor - Intraweb Fish
4 Grim Lavamancer
4 Spiketail Hatchling
4 Cloud of Faeries
2 Voidmage Prodigy
1 Gorilla Shaman
4 Force of Will
2 Daze
1 Misdirection
4 Standstill
4 Curiosity
2 Fire/Ice
3 Null Rod
1 Time Walk
1 Crucible of Worlds
4 Wasteland
1 Strip Mine
4 Volcanic Island
3 Island
4 Polluted Delta
4 Mishra's Factory
2 Faerie Conclave
1 Library of Alexandria

SB:
1 Maze of Ith
2 Energy Flux
2 Rack and Ruin
1 Misdirection
1 Crucible of Worlds
2 Pyroblast
1 Red Elemental Blast
2 Fire/Ice
2 Stifle
1 Tormod's Crypt

Andrew Oyen - CoW Control
2 Gaea's Blessing
2 Swords to Plowshares
2 Naturalize
2 Stifle
4 Force of Will
3 Brainstorm
4 Mana Drain
4 Crucible of Worlds
2 Flooded Strand
1 Polluted Delta
1 Glacial Chasm
1 Vampiric Tutor
1 Fact or Fiction
1 Zuran Orb
1 Sylvan Library
1 Black Lotus
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Emerald
1 Balance
1 Mystical Tutor
1 Regrowth
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Exploration
1 Demonic Tutor
1 Stroke of Genius
1 Time Walk
1 Fastbond
1 Strip Mine
2 Gemstone Mine
4 Tropical Island
4 Wasteland
1 Tundra
1 Underground Sea
1 Island
1 Cephalid Coliseum

SB:
4 Oath of Druids
1 Darksteel Colossus
1 Stifle
2 Blue Elemental Blast
1 Rebuild
1 Swords to Plowshares
1 Oxidize
2 Naturalize
1 Terravore (Roar!)
1 Sylvan Library

George Popescu - Ninja Fish
4 Force of Will
4 Spiketail Hatchling
2 Daze
2 Stifle
3 Curiosity
4 Standstill
2 Mana Leak
3 Null Rod
4 Cloud of Faeries
2 Shrapnel Blast
3 Grim Lavamancer
1 Crucible of Worlds
1 Misdirection
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Ruby
1 Polluted Delta
4 Volcanic Island
4 Mishra's Factory
4 Wasteland
2 Faerie Conclave
2 Flooded Strand
1 Wooded Foothills
1 Mountain
3 Island
1 Strip Mine

SB:
2 Magus of the Unseen
2 Annul
2 Rack and Ruin
2 Red Elemental Blast
1 Crucible of Worlds
1 Suq'ata Firewalker
2 Fire/Ice
3 Electrostatic Bolt

Paul Shriar - GroMask
4 Tropical Island
4 Island
4 Flooded Strand
3 Wasteland
1 Strip Mine
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Emerald
1 Lotus Petal
1 Sol Ring
1 Mana Crypt
3 Quirion Dryad
1 Darksteel Colossus
4 Illusionary Mask
4 Phyrexian Dreadnought
4 Force of Will
3 Mana Leak
3 Daze
1 Misdirection
4 Brainstorm
4 Serum Visions
4 Sleight of Hand
1 Tinker
1 Mystical Tutor
1 Gush
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Time Walk

SB:
4 Oath of Druids
3 Oxidize
3 Blue Elemental Blast
2 Naturalize
1 Rebuild
1 Darksteel Colossus
1 Gaeas Blessing

Richard Mattiuzzo - Crucible Control
Decklist Witheld.

Quarter-finals: Richard Mattiuzzo vs. Paul Shriar
I could go through the entire match with lots of little details, but only a few of them mattered, and when they did matter, they were huge.

Game 1: Paul Tinkered for Darksteel Colossus.

Game 2: Rich Tinkered for Darksteel Colossus.

"Someday, all decks will run Tinker/Darksteel Colossus." - Peter Olszewski

Game 3: Both players Tinkered for Darksteel Colossus and the 11/11 standstill began, but Rich had an active Library and a Chalice set at one, trapping most of Paul's card drawing in hand, so Paul scooped, knowing that Rich would eventually find Memnarch and would end the game with Rich's Colossus and the rebel Colossus attacking for 22.

Semi-finals: Gregory Darkeff vs. Duncan McGregor
Believe it or not, Darkeff really did manage to make it this far. All the way into the semi-finals.

Duncan decided to play, and led with an island, while Darkeff played a mountain and said go. Duncan played a Spiketail Hatchling, while Greg played his second mountain, and said go. Duncan played Curiosity on the Hatchling and swung in. Duncan played a Strip Mine and killed a mountain. Darkeff played a Taiga, seemingly flush with lands and little action. Duncan swung with Spiketail Hatchling, then played a Faerie Conclave and another Hatchling. Greg had Ancient Tomb, then played Food Chain. Duncan swung in with the Drakes, bringing Darkeff down to 14. Duncan played a Null Rod, and Wasted the Ancient Tomb. Darkeff played a Goblin Recruiter, and Duncan used Spiketail Hatchling to Spike it. Duncan swung in for 3, then passed the turn, and had the Wasteland for the Taiga. Duncan animated a Mishra's Factory and swung in, then cast Kai. Darkeff tried for another Recruiter, but Duncan Forced. An attack brought Darkeff down to 2, then Fire took him out of the game.

Darkeff started off with Wooded Foothills, which he used, and Skirk Prospector. His next turn, he played Lotus Petal, and Ancient Tomb, followed by Blood Moon. Duncan Fired the Skirk Prospector, which Darkeff replaced with a Piledriver. Duncan followed up with more "mountains". Greg swung, but Duncan had more Fires to keep the Goblins away. Darkeff played a Warchief, but Duncan Forced, pitching Daze. Darkeff played a Ringleader, and revealed two Recruiters and a Piledriver. He then played Piledriver, Lackey, Prospector. Game to Greg.

Duncan led with a Faerie Conclave, and Greg had mountain. Duncan played a Kai, and Darkeff Pyroblasted. Greg played another mountain and said go. Duncan tried another Kai, and Greg Pyroblasted yet again, somehow acting like the control deck. Greg played Chrome Mox, imprinting Sharpshooter, and played Blood Moon, which was Forced. Darkeff played Prospector and said go. Duncan cast Null Rod, deactivating the Mox. Greg drew a land and played Ringleader, which was met with Daze. Duncan Wasted Darkeff's Taiga then played a Mishra's Factory, and took Darkeff down to 14. Many tiny, tiny creature swinging later, Duncan was in full control of the game, as a silent Darkeff indicated that he, indeed, wasn't winning. Darkeff attempted a Piledriver, but Spiketail took the fall. Man-lands and Faeries took Darkeff down to 2, and Fire finished him off.

Finals: Richard Mattiuzzo vs. Duncan McGregor
A 9 to 1 roll for Duncan prompted him to go first. The two focused, to play off for the Mox Ruby. Duncan led with Polluted Delta, while Richard did the same, only foil. Duncan "sent out" his Polluted Delta, and Richard responded with his, then let Duncan's resolve. Duncan laid a Wasteland, playing Cloud of Faeries and Spiketail Hatchling. Richard had a Mishra's Workshop, then Crucible of Worlds. Duncan Forced, pitching Daze. Richard took his 1/1 beats, and Duncan followed that up by Wasting Richard's Workshop and playing Faerie Conclave. Richard played Library and said go. Duncan then swung in again, and had another Wasteland for the Library. Richard played his own Wasteland, then tried Time Walk, which was Spiked by Duncan and his Hatchling friend. Duncan resolved his own Crucible, and Richard cast Ancestral Recall, which resolved, as did a Chalice of the Void for one. Duncan replayed Wasteland, and Wasted Richard's Wasteland. Richard resolved his own Crucible, and many lands were Wasted. Duncan played Grim Lavamancer, but it was countered by Chalice. Duncan blinked and looked at the Chalice, then put the Lavamancer into the graveyard. Richard cast Tinker, but it was Forced, so he Forced back. Tinker got Darksteel Colossus. An attack for three in the air brought Richard down to 3, and Duncan replayed Wasteland. There was the potential to topdeck Fire/Ice, and actually outrace Darksteel Colossus, but it was not to be, and they went on to game two.

Duncan led off with Faerie Conclave, and Richard started off with Black Lotus, which cracked for 3 blue, then Ancestral, then Chalice for one, then Wasteland for Duncan's Conclave. Duncan tried to play Grim Lavamancer, but it was countered yet again by the Chalice, eliciting the exact same pseudo-surprised reaction. Richard played Mishra's Workshop, and Duncan played Library, then Cloud of Faeries, then Null Rod. Richard played Underground Sea and said go. Duncan played Energy Flux. Richard played another Workshop. Duncan paid for the Null Rod, then swung in with the Cloud of Faeries. With Chalice gone, Duncan played Gorilla Shaman. Richard laid Wasteland, and played Platinum Angel. Duncan played Maze of Ith. Richard paid for the Angel and a Crucible of Worlds came down for him. Duncan decided not to pay upkeep on the Null Rod, and then played his own Crucible of Worlds. Richard tried to Force, pitching Thirst for Knowledge, but Duncan Dazed. With Crucibles and Wastelands on either side of the table, the game slowed to an absolute crawl, as both players denied each other any further lands. Duncan's ridiculously slow clock seemed as if it was going to go all the way, so I figured it gave me enough time to go to the washroom, talk to Wayne Mittlestead, pack away my things and get a bottle of water. When I returned, Duncan was almost done plinking away at Richard's life total. Eventually he finished Richard off.

For the deciding game, Richard kept a sketchy hand that was lacking in action, but decided to keep, while Duncan happily kept a new 6 card hand. Duncan played Strip Mine and Cloud of Faeries, which met Richard's Force. Richard attempted a repeat of the successful "Chalice for One" but Duncan decided that the artifact needed countering, and Forced. Richard missed his next land drop, while Duncan laid down the hurt. Richard's next land drop was a Tolarian Academy with no artifacts to power it up, and when Duncan Forced a Crucible, it was the last spell Richard would play.

Judge Duncan McGregor is the new Ontario Vintage Champion! Congratulations!

Jason Chau

Elster88
Oct 17 2005 09:07 AM

Personally, I have no idea what Duncan was thinking using only 1 Gorilla Shaman, but 4 Force of Wills.

Elster88
Oct 17 2005 09:09 AM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Oct 17 2005 10:36 AM

Actually, I just reread PiazzaFan's post and he did say please. Maybe it wasn't a command. I'm torn here. But I'll leave the post up. I played Magic for about two weeks ten years ago, so someone else may be interested in this.

ScarletKnight41
Oct 17 2005 10:07 AM

Does anyone have any quilting bee results, as a counterbalance to the spelling bee results?

sharpie
Oct 17 2005 10:18 AM

I'd love to post them, Scarlet, but PiazzaFan has blacklisted me. I wish one of the approved posters would supply us with this information.

ScarletKnight41
Oct 17 2005 10:20 AM

Damn. Now I'll never know how my quilting rotisserie team is doing <pout>

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 17 2005 11:15 AM

It looks like a quilting bee, unlike a spelling bee, is not a competitive event. In two minutes of extensive research, I've learned that quilting bees are more of a social function. Everyone needs quilts for the winter, and it's more fun to make them in a group than alone at home.

From www.quilt.com:

]The quilting bee was an imporant means of socializing for colonial and pioneer women (and man). Through the winter months, the women would piece their quilt tops. Since there was no central heating in these homes, there was usually only one main heated room that was too crowded during the winter months for a quilt frame to be assembled. When the weather became warmer, an invitation was sent to the surrounding neighbors for the quilting bee.

On the day of the quilting bee, the quilters would arrive early and begin marking the quilt top which had been put into the quilt frame by the hostess. Very often, plates, thimbles and tea cups were used to mark the quilting patterns. The quilters would then being to quilt the top while exchanging conversation. The quilt had to finished before the husbands and beaus showed up in the late afternoon when dinner was served to all, the hostess being given a chance to show off her cooking skills. After dinner, there was very often a square dance or country dance with fiddles accompanying the dancers. The quilting bee was an important part of the social life of these people surpassed only by religious gatherings.

Rockin' Doc
Oct 17 2005 11:21 AM

I hope this satisfies your curiosity, Scarlett.

Quilting Bee Results

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 17 2005 11:24 AM

Meanwhile, there's a doorknob thief on the loose in Buffalo!

The Doorknob Knock-Off

By Van O'Cain
WGRZ-TV

BUFFALO, NY -- Turning the door knob is a part of your daily life that you probably don't give much thought to. The people in a Buffalo, New York, neighborhood didn't.

"I came home and the door knobs on my front door were gone."

Joe Giambra was shocked when the door knobs were removed from his home recently during the DAYTIME.

"Who would do this and why? Is there a market for stolen door knobs?," Giambra said.

Two doors down, Bob Crocker lost a piece of history when burglars took a shine to his door knob.

"It was a vintage 1883 door knob from when the house was built. This isn't the only one that's been stolen, it's going on four months now from what I understand," said Crocker.

Police confirm there have been at least ten knob takeaways in and near this neighborhood in recent months.

Door knob burglaries may sound crazy. But the hardware can be a lot more valuable than many homeowners realize. Horsefeathers Architectural Antiques has been supplying replacements to its victims.

"They're ornate. You can't get them anymore. They're all brass. They're well made.It can cost at least $400 for an antique brass knob set," said Cindy Sontag of Horsefeathers Architectural Antiques.

In addition to not taking for granted what they have, homeowners need to act.

"You can try to plug the screws on the plates to make it harder for thieves. There are kits you can buy," Sontag added.

Make sure doors to hallways are locked. Keep an eye out in the daytime because that's when most of the burglaries have taken place.

Also, listen for the sound of a drill in your neighborhood. Burglars like to use them because they can work fast and leave quickly.

sharpie
Oct 17 2005 11:58 AM

Maybe we should all get together and solve The Mystery of the Buffalo Doorknob Thief. I think Cindy Sontag knows more than she's letting on.

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 17 2005 12:08 PM

Leave Cindy alone! She works for a company named after a Marx Brothers movie, so she's okay in my book.

I have to wonder how many people in Buffalo are calling in sick so that they can stay home and listen for the sound of doorknob drilling.

ScarletKnight41
Oct 17 2005 12:10 PM

Thank you Hottie - I can rest easy now.

Edgy DC
Oct 17 2005 12:15 PM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Oct 17 2005 12:19 PM

I've been to her store. Ms. Sontag has some awesome knobs.

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 17 2005 12:17 PM

How do Cindy Sontag's knobs compare to Beth Adams' udders?

seawolf17
Oct 17 2005 01:25 PM

I know this gets said a lot, but...

Funniest. Thread. Ever.

]"We fear the Mox monkey." - Ray Mitchell

cooby
Oct 17 2005 01:27 PM

Yancy Street Gang wrote:
Leave Cindy alone! She works for a company named after a Marx Brothers movie, so she's okay in my book.

I have to wonder how many people in Buffalo are calling in sick so that they can stay home and listen for the sound of doorknob drilling.


People with $400 doorknobs don't have to work

sharpie
Oct 17 2005 01:40 PM

]People with $400 doorknobs don't have to work



You don't know that for sure, Cooby. Maybe they've been eating beans for dinner to save up for that doorknob.

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 17 2005 02:12 PM

This thread is starting to remind me of the time that I brought my prize goat to a quilting bee. One of the quilters accused the other of stealing her doorknob, and a knife fight broke out.

My goat and I were lucky to escape with our lives.

Valadius
Oct 17 2005 02:49 PM

You forgot to mention how the knife fight escalated into an intense game of Magic: The Gathering.

Willets Point
Oct 17 2005 02:53 PM

Just as long as there wasn't any country line dancing.

seawolf17
Oct 17 2005 03:03 PM

Phi Beta Sigma, ADPi win Line Dance competition
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ginger Ellington
Staff Writer

The sisters of Alpha Delta Pi and the brothers of Phi Beta Sigma took first place and Best of Show in Wednesday night’s 2005 Line Dance competition, which is part of Greekfest.

The doors opened at 7 p.m. and admission was $2.

The country line dance performance of ADPi brought the crowd to their feet with their routine to “Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy’ by Big and Rich. They wore brown fitted shirts, jeans and cowboy hats.

“I love the fact that they did a country song. It showed uniqueness and I was extremely proud of them,” said Neena Shetsky, a senior AD Pi, Communications major from Milan, Tenn.

Phi Beta Sigma, sporting matching outfits and sharp dance moves to ‘Georgia Dome’ by the Ying Yang Twins, really got the crowd excited when they took the floor.

Brannon Hobbs, a Graphic Design major from Germantown, Tenn. who is a member of Phi Beta Sigma said, “Line dancing is a big tradition among black Greeks. It shows individuality and pride. It is exciting to have all the Greeks on campus involved and to see the creative dances they have made. My organization, Phi Beta Sigma Inc. line danced to give the crowd a good show and also to represent our fraternity at it’s best.”

Other groups that competed that night included: Chi Omega, Alpha Omicron Pi, Zeta Tau Alpha, Alpha Kappa Alpha, Zeta Phi Beta, Delta Sigma Theta, Alpha Tau Omega and Sigma Phi Epsilon.

The ladies of Delta Sigma Theta took home second place after they performed to Nelly’s ‘Na-NaNa-Na’. They were dressed in jeans and red and white baseball style shirts with masks.

Delta Sigma Theta member, Sherika Norris, a Visual Communications major from Memphis, Tenn. said, “We put a lot of effort and creative ideas to set us aside from the other sororities competing. Our main focus was to show our Delta Pride. Be on the look out for next year’s competition because we plan to win first place.”

SigEp’s routine, which included the song “Real Big’ by Big Tymers earned them second place in the fraternity division.

Matt Muehlberger, a senior Communications major from Leesburg, VA said, “I really enjoyed the entire show and I am especially proud of my brothers’ performance. They did a great job!”

from The Pacer, serving the University of Tennessee at Martin

Centerfield
Oct 17 2005 03:09 PM

I would love to pile on in this thread, but when I was a kid, I used to love pro-wrestling. So if Piazzafan wants to post about WWE, go right ahead...some might find it a waste of time, but this is the board that went through the trouble of ranking every Met ever...

I just wish pro-wrestling remained as un-PC as it used to be with the Iron Sheik and Mr. Fuji...i think pro-wrestling would be so much more popular if they had badguys named Taliban Tim, or....Michigan Militia Mike.

A new villain named Kim Jong Illin' could come out, golf a 59 and then threaten to blow up the stadium...

KC
Oct 17 2005 03:21 PM

I don't know if I'm allowed to post in this thread, but ...

Jeez, when Wrestlmania first started we used to have a keg party and each
kick in a couple of bucks for the pay per view. Wrestling now has just gotten
so ass-o-nine I'm surprised even kids have the patience for it.

Iubitul
Oct 17 2005 03:24 PM

="Centerfield"]I would love to pile on in this thread...


BUCK-BUCK NUMBER 1, COME IN!

Edgy DC
Oct 17 2005 03:34 PM

It's not like, absent Wrestlemania, you wouldn't have found another reason to drain a keg.

KC
Oct 17 2005 04:23 PM

I feel so transparent, Mean Gene. But look at these pythons.

A friend of mine used to call me Gordon Soley, because I was a know-it-all.
We were big into that TBS wrestling too.

ScarletKnight41
Oct 17 2005 04:28 PM

Yancy - I have tears in my eyes. I'm dying here!

In all seriousness, CF has a point. And it's not like several of us haven't attended or otherwise watched wrestling in our lives.

I think the evolution/devolution of this thread got off on the wrong foot. PiazzaFan411 is earnest in his love of wrestling, but he started off with such long and detailed posts that I think it just turned some people off.

Plus challenging this crew not to post things is usually a big mistake.

Benjamin Grimm
Oct 17 2005 05:11 PM

Exactly right, Scarlett. If this thread hadn't started as a bizarre, who-asked-for-it lecture on professional wrestling, it would have unfolded much differently.

Valadius
Oct 17 2005 05:18 PM

Come on out... Fat Albert.

Fat Albert was the baddest buck-buck breaker in the world. And he loved to hear us call his name. Fat Albert weighed 2000 pounds.

Rockin' Doc
Oct 17 2005 09:20 PM

I'm thankful to PiazzaFan411 for having started this thread. Like so many CPF threads before it, this one took a little detour (or two) along the way. There's something for virtually everyone in this thread.

So post away about the pro wrestling you love PiazzaFan411. Though I personally couldn't care less about wrestling, I appreciate the zeal with which you post regarding it.

Johnny Dickshot
Oct 17 2005 09:43 PM

I saw 5 seconds of WWE tonight. There was a big brawl with about a dozen wrestlers in the ring at once.

This happens every week these days. Back when I was a wrestling fan, such brawls only happened once every couple of months.

Kids today and their baggy pants/quilting bees/video games...

Frayed Knot
Oct 17 2005 09:51 PM

"A new villain named Kim Jong Illin' could come out, golf a 59 and then threaten to blow up the stadium..."

I didn't want to let this line slide by unnoticed.

metirish
Oct 17 2005 10:12 PM

This is one of the most fun threads to troll on, it's just great fun, Piazzafan411 is doing his/her thing and not getting very bothered about the stick he's taking..good for him/her....I rememeber very well when I was growing up in Ireland and we got the Sky Dish Wrestlemania became this huge thing, Hacksaw Jim Duggen was a fave, the Undertaker in his earlier days....great fun was had..Ric Flair was the loudest bollox ever...

cooby
Oct 18 2005 07:10 AM

Got my 2 x 4, Got my American flag...

Elster88
Oct 18 2005 08:05 AM

="Centerfield"]I would love to pile on in this thread, but when I was a kid, I used to love pro-wrestling. So if Piazzafan wants to post about WWE, go right ahead...some might find it a waste of time, but this is the board that went through the trouble of ranking every Met ever...


All good points.

I just couldn't resist when he named who could and could not post, and what they could and could not post. Not responding to that is basically saying "I'm hung like a field mouse."

seawolf17
Oct 18 2005 08:13 AM

Me too.

Admittedly, I did stop on Monday Night Raw for a few minutes while channel flipping during a commercial last night. I have no idea what's going on, but apparently, they "fired" Jim Ross, long-time commentator. I always liked Jim Ross; hell, the commentators were better than the wrestling a lot of the time. I miss Gorilla Monsoon. In fact, I'm going to ask my wife if we can name our kid "Gorilla Monsoon."

ScarletKnight41
Oct 18 2005 08:15 AM

seawolf17 wrote:
In fact, I'm going to ask my wife if we can name our kid "Gorilla Monsoon."


Don't be surprised when she says no.

Johnny Dickshot
Oct 18 2005 08:34 AM

No lie: There was a span of about 3 years where my brother & I only spoke to one another while imitating Gorilla Monsoon. We still do it, actually.

ScarletKnight41
Oct 19 2005 10:44 AM

Dave Barry looks at wrestling -


Wrestling rulebook overlooks subtle 'flagpole' maneuver

BY DAVE BARRY

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on July 18, 1999)

If there's one question that troubles every thinking person, it's this: Does cheating go on in professional wrestling?

In an effort to find an answer, I recently attended a tournament sanctioned by Florida Championship Wrestling. I chose FCW for two solid journalistic reasons:

--It is a venerable circuit in the ''minor leagues'' of professional wrestling, where the potential stars of tomorrow learn the ground rules, the ''do's and don't's,'' that make up the ethical standards of the sport.

--It is near my house.

The FCW tournament I attended was held at the Miccosukee Indian Gaming Center, located west of Miami on the edge of the Everglades. This is one of the few gaming facilities where you can gamble on bingo, slot machines, poker, etc., and then ... merely by walking a short distance ... get eaten by alligators.

I watched the wrestling matches from a seat right next to the commissioner of FCW, Bernie Siegel. It is Commissioner Siegel's job to monitor the sport closely for cheating and impose stiff punishments on wrongdoers.

''I haven't had an eye exam in years,'' he told me.

In the first match, a wrestler who had been losing suddenly gained the upper hand (so to speak) by kicking his opponent in a very sensitive masculine region.

''Did you see that?'' I asked Commissioner Siegel.

''See what?'' he answered.

The referee didn't see it either, even though he was standing about two feet from the wrestlers. It takes a special type of person to be a professional-wrestling referee, the type of person who, if he had been present when the Hindenburg was being consumed by a giant ball of flame, would have been looking, with intense interest, at the ground.

In the next match, a wrestler thumbed his opponent in the eye, yanked on his hair, and then choked him for approximately five minutes while the referee hovered alertly nearby, looking for violations.

''These are world-class athletes,'' observed Commissioner Siegel.

Next, in one of the featured matches, a wrestler named Larry Lane fought ''Playboy'' Bobby Davis, who is 350 pounds of highly disciplined, superbly trained, expertly conditioned fat. Lane was winning, but then Davis' ''manager,'' a woman named Ebony, who was wearing a pair of shorts that would be two sizes too small for Barbie, distracted the referee while a third wrestler, Tony Apollo, who was supposed to be injured and who was not, technically, even in this match, climbed into the ring and whacked Lane over the head from behind with his crutch.

''I didn't see anything there,'' said Commissioner Siegel, before I even asked him.

In another featured match, a wrestler named Anthony ''The South Beach Stud'' Adonis distracted the referee by asking him about the rules (''Our referees are trained to be instructive at all times,'' said Commissioner Siegel). For several minutes, while the referee patiently explained the rules, directly behind his back, Adonis' opponent, Billy Viper, was writhing on the mat in agony while being repeatedly kicked in the masculine region and clawed in the eyeball region by Adonis' manager, a woman named Babe.

''We've had people get their eyes gouged out,'' observed Commissioner Siegel, adding, ``They become referees.''

As he spoke, Tony Apollo, who was not technically in this match, either, slipped a folding chair into the ring for Anthony Adonis to whack Billy Viper with.

''It looks like he's slipping a chair into the ring,'' I said.

''I'll have to check the tape on that,'' said Commissioner Siegel.

In subsequent matches, a wrestler beat his opponent in the face with a cowbell (yes, a cowbell); a manager named Abudadein (''The Master of Darkness'') used his staff (''The Staff of Darkness'') to knock out a security guard; and Duke ''The Dumpster'' Droese appeared to be about to win his match when his opponent, the Cuban Assassin, clubbed him senseless with a flagpole holding a Cuban flag, which the Cuban Assassin's manager, a woman named Fantasy, had slipped into the ring, unobserved.

''Is he allowed to hit him with the flagpole?'' I asked.

''He hit him with the flagpole?'' responded Commissioner Siegel.

All in all, it was an exciting evening of athletic competition. And although at times it appeared, to my untrained eye, that some of the contestants might possibly have been taking liberties with the rules of fair play, I realize that this could hardly be possible, if the commissioner of Florida Championship Wrestling, who happens to be a licensed attorney and whose whole JOB is to keep an eye on things, did not see any violations.

So rest easy, America: The popular sport of professional wrestling is definitely ''on the up and up.'' Its integrity is protected by safeguards every bit as stringent as the ones used to protect America's most vital nuclear secrets.

You think I'm joking.

Johnny Dickshot
Nov 14 2005 06:00 AM

I think the guy who maintained this thread gave up. But this is newsworthy

WWE wrestler found dead in Minneapolis hotel room
Chao Xiong, Star Tribune
November 14, 2005

When World Wrestling Entertainment superstar Eddie Guerrero didn't answer his wakeup call Sunday and didn't respond to a knock on his Minneapolis hotel room door, his nephew and security forced their way in. They found the 5-foot-8, 220-pound wrestler on the floor.

Efforts to resuscitate the 38-year-old weren't successful and the WWE was suddenly faced with finding the delicate balance between continuing with Sunday's show at Target Center while paying tribute to one of its biggest attractions.

"This is a huge loss," said WWE chairman Vince McMahon. "Eddie was a wonderful, fun-loving human being. Eddie was a consummate performer."

His nephew and fellow WWE wrestler, Chavo Guerrero, said he found his uncle dead shortly after 7 a.m. in his room at the Marriott Hotel in downtown Minneapolis.

Police said there were no signs of foul play or indications of suicide.

Chavo Guerrero said everything with his uncle had seemed just fine.

The flight from Phoenix to Minneapolis Saturday. The post-flight dinner. The last time they talked they made plans to order breakfast and then hit the gym Sunday morning. Instead, Chavo Guerrero spent the morning breaking the news to relatives and preparing for his own match Sunday night.

"I know Eddie would want the show to go on," he said.

The Target Center event was tastefully subdued, with many of the wrestlers offering taped or live tributes. Several imitated his signature moves and mannerisms, including his celebratory strutting and his frog-splash leap onto an opponent.

Crowd members chanted "Eddie" and remained silent as the ringside bell was rung 10 times, said Wade Keller, publisher and editor of Minneapolis-based www.pwtorch.com and Pro Wrestling Torch, a weekly newsletter.

Chavo Guerrero said his uncle was candid about his past drug and alcohol abuse; he recently reached four years of sobriety. Whether or not his former drug use played a role in his death is unknown; the Hennepin County medical examiner's office said the cause of death might not be known for several weeks.

"With Eddie's history... that no doubt takes a toll on your body, and whether that had anything to do with his untimely demise, I don't know," McMahon said.

Guerrero was in the Twin Cities to film "Friday Night Smackdown" for the UPN Network. About 60 to 80 WWE wrestlers were in town for the show, which included filming for "Monday Night RAW" on the USA channel.

Red-eyed and somber at a news conference, Chavo Guerrero and McMahon said there would be special tributes to Guerrero at both tapings. "It's been devastating," McMahon said.

Defeated Brock Lesnar for title

Guerrero had been with the WWE since 2000 and became champion in February 2004, defeating Brock Lesnar, a former University of Minnesota wrestling standout. Guerrero lost the title four months later.

Nicknamed "Latino Heat," he was a big boost to the WWE's popularity among Hispanics. "He is regarded universally as one of the premier athletes in terms of what it takes to be good in this business," said Keller, who had known Guerrero for more than a decade. "Eddie was different in that he was very well-liked. He was so emotional. He didn't shake hands, he hugged."

Guerrero was known for his athleticism inside the ring and his nuanced acting, Keller said. He also was known for a troubled past.

In May 2004, UPN aired the special "Cheating Death, Stealing Life: The Eddie Guerrero Story." It chronicled his struggle with drugs, which almost cost him his job, family and life before his recovery and fame.

A family of wrestlers

The son of wrestler Gory Guerrero, he was born into Mexico's first family of professional wrestling and grew up in El Paso, Texas. He recently moved to Phoenix to be closer to his family. His three older brothers were all wrestlers.

His drug escapades as an adult included flipping his car going 130 miles per hour while taking Ecstasy. Doctors told the family that it was unlikely he would survive. From there, he went on numerous binges, abusing cocaine, alcohol and painkillers. He was fired by the WWE, his wife filed for divorce and the IRS seized his wages.

After recovery, he remarried his wife, reclaimed his job and became the second Hispanic to be WWE champ.

"Eddie felt he was on borrowed time because he had done so much, and he had escaped death so many times because of car crashes and drugs and alcohol," Keller said.

The pro wrestling profession has seen numerous deaths over the years; USA Today reported that steroids played a role in seven deaths since 1997.

On Sunday night outside Target Center, teenage boys held cardboard signs honoring Guerrero and stood wide-eyed describing his signature "three amigos" move in which he plucked up opponents and dropped them on their backs three times.

"He was so charismatic," effused Ryan Hoyt, 15, of Champlin, who made a sign bedecked with photos of Guerrero that men and boys alike signed to pay their respects. (It will hang on his wall.) "Everyone just loved Eddie."

"He always had something to say," said Newell Mott, 17, of Rochester.

Words may have come easy to Guerrero, but some of his fans were speechless when they learned about his death as they arrived for Sunday's show.

Jennifer Morales, 21, of Minneapolis stared slack-jawed at her friends before she could manage: "I'm shocked. I liked him because he was Hispanic like me." She has followed his career for almost half of her life. "He knew how to represent the community."

He is survived by his wife, Vickie, and daughters Shaul, 14; Sherilyn, 9, and Kaylie Marie, 3.

cooby
Nov 14 2005 06:17 AM

Eddy was my favorite, and he was one of the decent guys. I haven't watched wrestling in years but still this makes me sad.

Dying alone in a hotel room seems to be a wrestling epidemic

Edgy DC
Nov 14 2005 06:28 AM

Well, hotel rooms come with the job.

Seems to me pumping your body full of crap until your organs give out is the epidemic.

PiazzaFan411
Dec 30 2005 03:00 PM

Hi guys. I haven't been here a while and I am going to update this thread now. Plus yes, Eddie Guerrero's death was sad.

A Boy Named Seo
Dec 30 2005 06:10 PM

This is my favorite thread in the whole joint.

Here's where I first read about Eddie's passing:

[url=http://www.theonion.com/content/node/42767]The "most electrifying, fire-and-brimstone memorial service in Survivor Series history"...[/url]

Johnny Dickshot
Dec 30 2005 10:09 PM

I was thinking the other day whatever happened to that weird wrestler in the gold tights who developed a "speech impediment" as the result of being "electrocuted" in a backstage confrontation. That guy was .. uhh-UHH! !! . . hilarious.

T K Rollin
Dec 31 2005 08:33 AM

I'd like to nominate THE CRUSHER as the official CPF wrestling song.
C J Ramone on vocals for those not following at home.

Edgy DC
Dec 31 2005 11:18 AM

Lots of fun. Do we need an official wrestling song?

PiazzaFan411
Dec 31 2005 11:49 AM

WWE Friday Night Smackdown results:

Matt Hardy def. John Bradshaw Layfield (JBL)
One Fall to a Finish
Win by Count Out

Psichosis and Super Crazy def. Chad and James Dick
Normal Tag Team Match
Win by Pin-Fall

Chris Benoit def. Randy Orton (Substitute for Booker T)
Match 5 in Best of 7 Series for United States Championship
Win by Disqualification
Booker T leads series 3-2

Bobby Lashley def. Sylvan Grenier
One Fall to a Finish Match
Win by Count Out

Mercury Nitro Melina def. Batista and Rey Mysterio
Normal tag Team Match for WWE Tag Team Championship
Win by Pin-Fall

Elster88
Dec 31 2005 12:25 PM

Here we go again!

PiazzaFan411
Dec 31 2005 12:36 PM

WWE Velocity Results:

Simon Dean def. Brian Kendrick
One fall to a Finish
Win by Pin-Fall

Paul Burchill def. John Xavier
One Fall to a finish
Win by Pin-Fall

Jamie Noble def. Paul London
One Fall to a Finish
Win by Submission

Road Warrior Animal and Heidenrich def. Nunzio and Vito
Normal Tag Team Match
Win by Pin-Fall

cooby
Jun 25 2007 07:42 PM

http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/ny-usbenoit0626,0,4246396.story?coll=ny-top-headlines


WWE wrestler Chris Benoit and family found dead
BY ALFONSO A. CASTILLO
alfonso.castillo@newsday.com

Email this story

Printer friendly format
June 25, 2007, 8:58 PM EDT

Renowned pro wrestler Chris Benoit, his wife and their 7-year-old-son, were found dead Monday afternoon in their Fayetville, Ga. home, Atlanta police said.

Police would not give any details on how Benoit, 40, his wife Nancy, and son Daniel died, other than to say they were not shot to death, the Atlanta-Journal Constitution reported Monday. Authorities are investigating the deaths.

The news came just a day after Benoit mysteriously pulled out of a World Wrestling Entertainment pay per view event, during which he was expected to be crowned Extreme Championship Wrestling world champion. Various pro wrestling news sources reported that Benoit was unable to appear at the event due to a family emergency.

"There are no further details at this time, other than the Benoit family residence is currently being investigated by local authorities," the WWE said in a statement on its Web site.

Benoit was a 22-year ring veteran and perennial favorite of wrestling purists, who praised his high-intensity style and technical acumen. His aggressive wrestling technique earned him the nicknames "The Crippler" and "The Rabid Wolverine." In 2000 and 2004, he was named Oustanding Wrestler of the Year by the Wrestling Observer newsletter and in 2004 he was named Wrestler of the Year by Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine.

The Edmonton, Canada native trained to become a wrestler in Calgary, and honed his skills in Japan before becoming a regular on U.S. national promotions in the mid-1990s. Benoit's career highlight took place in New York, when he won his first World Wrestling Entertainment world heavyweight championship in Madison Square Garden in the main event of WrestleMania XX.

Benoit cried as he celebrated in the ring with his wife and son, as well as best friend, wrestler Eddie Guerrero, who died in 2005.

"Wrestling has consumed my life," Benoit said in a 2004 WWE career retrospective video. "Wrestling is my mistress. It's my passion. It defines who I am as a person."

WWE last night canceled its scheduled live 3-hour "Monday Night RAW" program, which coincidentally was originally billed as a "memorial service" for WWE chairman Vince McMahon, whose character was recently killed off in a controversial scripted storyline.

McMahon opened the show from center ring in an empty arena and clarified that Benoit and his family had died "in reality." McMahon called Benoit "one of the greatest WWE superstars of all-time."

Frayed Knot
Jun 25 2007 08:42 PM

"Benoit was a ... perennial favorite of wrestling purists"

There are wrestling purists?



"WWE last night canceled its scheduled live 3-hour "Monday Night RAW" program"

That ws nice of them, especially considering that one time when one of their wrestlers was killed in a ring-entering stunt (being lowered from the ceiling or something along those lines) they didn't cancel the event so as to not lose the gate.

cooby
Jun 26 2007 07:20 AM

]WWE last night canceled its scheduled live 3-hour "Monday Night RAW" program, which coincidentally was originally billed as a "memorial service" for WWE chairman Vince McMahon, whose character was recently killed off in a controversial scripted storyline.


And how tacky is it to pretend someone is dead in a sport that in real life loses its participants on a fairly regular basis ?

Johnny Dickshot
Jun 26 2007 11:50 AM

And now that WWF has paid tribute to one of its "grestest superstars" comes word that he strangled his wife and son before hanging himself.