Jul 05 2010 03:22 PM
Edited 11 time(s), most recently on Jul 05 2010 09:34 PM
Apologies for the tardiness, but I've been on three days of solo YoungerPooper duty, and she's not been so nap-happy.
The breakdown:
It's been just two months, but it feels like it's been forever and a Cincinnati rush hour since we last saw these redcapped gents. (I mean, back then, David Wright was striking out a lot, the Mets starters were inconsistent and the mismanaged bullpen was a little unreliable. MAN ALIVE, it's been a while!) Anyway, what's gone down in southern Ohio since the Mets were Nixed and Cabreraed (Really?) out of Great American Ballpark?
Well, having gone 35-23 in the two months since to pull into the NL Central's pole position, the Redlegs are finishing the first half as thermometer-busting as a batch of hot cross buns, and-- much like those warm crosses-- are enflaming passions around the area like you wouldn't believe. Why, the populace is in such a tizzy over their baseball squadron, certain members of the citizenry have already started shooting their celebratory pistoleros! The banks of the Ohio haven't seen this sort of sports-related excitement since preseason anticipation over the prospects of the 2001 team spurred weeks of historically-exuberant street rallies. Their sense of civic pride is as proud and deeply-felt as their support of the nation's president; heck, even the city's public servants have been raising the roof for months!
We love our team! ESPECIALLY the black ones!
Anyway, these Redsleeves have indeed played on, players, and rarely have they been played... at least not when they've been batting. Their offense has been multifaceted, deep-- above league-average production from every position except SS... even Ramon Hernandez!-- and tough to handle; they've been 2nd in the majors in slugging this season so far, 3rd in wOBA, 4th in BA, 5th in runs and HR, and a surprising sixth in WKRP (wocka!). Brandon Phillips-- with a league-leading 63 runs, a .308/.367/.485 rate line, and the fewest "laziness"-related comments on the Dayton Daily News comment boards in any year he's been a Red-- is putting together his finest season as a pro. After several months north of the border last year, Scott Rolen has returned to produce (hardworking 17 HRs, gritty .577 slugging, clubhouse-morale-raising .945 OPS) like he's received some sort of illegal rejuvenation-injection. And the rest of the guys-- sluggy Gomes, sluggy/runny Stubbs, sluggy/runny/two-first-namey Jay Bruce-- are doing pretty well as well. There's nobody else who really stands out at all, at least in any way that deserves All-Star recognition from his peers, fans and the league's top coaches... .jpg)
Just kidding, Joey Votto, of the Pujols-shaming .424 wOBA and 3.6 pre-AS-break WAR! I didn't mean it! Don't cry! Come back!
Cincinnati youth protest the cruel vagaries of NL All-Star voting. Poor Joey Votto!
The defense has also been more than decent enough, posting a league-low 31 errors and a team UZR/150 on the good side of middling.
But the Redjocks' pitching... it's been clumsier and more offputting than the Jehovah's Witnesses'. The rotation has pretty much been a grayish, lukewarm clump of high-priced decrepitude (Arroyo and Harang posting a combined 4.68 ERA over 34 starts) and youth of varying degrees of callowness/quality (flameboys Mike Leake and Johnny Cueto, both of whom the Mets miss this turn, along with overripe prospect Homer Bailey and turd-on-legs Sam LeCure).
And the bullpen... yoy. YOY. We're talking Skyline-Chili-men's-room ugly, with only one exception. Old Man of the Poutin'/first-time All-Star...
"Hmph."
... Arthur Rhodes just recently posted a record 33-appearance scoreless streak, and is putting up a wicked-good 1.09 ERA and 0.91 WHIP in 33 setup innings. None of this is at all suspicious for a 40-year-old, fastball-and-slider dependent lefty who had elbow surgery four years ago... so congrats! More than counterbalancing that, however: Francisco Cordero has blown six saves already and has 1-2-3 innings about as often as Frankie Rodriguez has 1-2-3 innings; ostensible closer-in-waiting Nick Masset has blown a couple on his own and holds a 5+ ERA; Logan Ondrusek's innings-- in which he puts on 1.7 baserunners on base, on average-- last about as long as his freakish frame; and Micah Owings... well, he sure can hit! Righties Mike Bray and Jordan Smith recently replaced Broxton-of-the-Midwest Mike Lincoln and wee-lil'-screwballer Daniel Ray Herrera (I repeat: these guys weren't good enough to pitch IN THIS BULLPEN), and each has already blown a save in flamboyant fashion (against the Phils and Cubs, respectively). In short, the bullpen... it lights up late-inning scoreboard panels like Skyline five-ways lights up colons. I hope to see much of this (scoreboard-lighting, not colon-lighting).
REDS RELIEVERZ WUZ HERE
The pitching matchups:
7/5: Pelf vs. Aaron Harang (17 GS, 100 1/3 IP, 6-7 record, 5.02 ERA, 1.46 WHIP, 2.68 K/BB, 84 ERA+).
Let me watch your children! I'll do it for free!
It's a good thing Harang's got a Jay Leno profile, because he's been taking it on the chin every other start. He's been okay in his last three starts (3.32 ERA/1.36 WHIP in 19 IP), he tends to handle Jose Reyes (.368 OPS in 15 PAs), and he's pretty good at looking like a child molester (see above). But he's been awful (6.11 career ERA) against the Mets, and he has been putting on 3 runners every 2 innings on average this year... and last year... and the year previous. If the Mets don't put it on him like a 500-lb. weight from a third-story window, they should be fucking ashamed.
7/6: Johan vs. Travis Wood (1 GS, 7 IP, 0-0 record, 2.57 ERA, 0.71 WHIP, 1.33 K/BB, 171 ERA+).
Wood's got a good fastball, a changeup with apparent late fade, and has added a cut fastball in the last two years that has helped. He's a 23-year-old lefty who took the scenic route (6 years) through the Reds minors, finally getting f'real in 2009, going 13-5 with a 1.77 ERA, 1.04 WHIP and 135 Ks in 167.2 innings between Class AA Carolina and Class AAA Louisville. Now he's spot-starting against a team that has killed some of the best lefties in the NL this year. Good luck, rook!
7/7: Hawkman vs. Brandon Arroyo (17 GS, 112 1/3 IP, 8-4 record, 4.25 ERA, 1.26 WHIP, 1.34 K/BB, 99 ERA+).
Aw, who let this asshole into the party? Get his date-rapey prick out of here... and GET HIM THE FUCK OFF MY COUSIN AND HER FRIENDS!
Aw, Gina-- get his thing out of your mouth, already, and get your damn clothes back on! What would your pawpaw think? You're studying to be an ELEMENTARY-SCHOOL TEACHER, fer Chrissakes!
Ex-factors:
Mets in Red: Still just ancient Mariner/Cardinal/MFY/Brown/Knickerbocker/Spider Miguel Cairo. God help me, I miss him, and hope we see him... mostly because that means Rolen will be out of the game... for defensive replacement Miguel Cairo.
Reds in Met: None. Weren't you paying attention to JCL the first time?
