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Planning a Wedding

Ceetar Jul 15 2010 02:49 PM

Yah venting.. I set up a block of rooms at a hotel out "on" the Island. We were thinking about 20 rooms, but apparently they do them in blocks of 10 and expand it as need be. She's been mostly evasive to specific questions many times. So we emailed her about the little inserts for the invitations. We have 75, and we figured we'd put one in each..makes sense right? She told us we could only have 2 per reserved room. (How they ever go about issuing more than 20 in this logic is beyond me) and quote "Do you really think you'll need 75?" So I had to call her up to get this done. I reiterated about the needing 20 rooms, to which she responds "No one's reserved one yet." Well duh, that's why i'm calling you about the inserts! Suddenly, I have a little more sympathy for Bridezillas.

MFS62 Jul 15 2010 09:31 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

I've planned two. I expect we'll see many contributions from you in the "What Grinds My Gears" thread before its all over. The best advice I can give is: Relax. Years from now, you'll have lots of great memories. Later

Benjamin Grimm Jul 16 2010 04:33 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

My advice: Elope.

Kong76 Jul 16 2010 06:21 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Seconded

dgwphotography Jul 16 2010 06:56 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

My advice? Have whatever wedding your future bride wants. It's her day - all you have to do is remember your lines, hit your mark, and don't bump into the furniture.

Ceetar Jul 16 2010 07:08 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

dgwphotography wrote: My advice? Have whatever wedding your future bride wants. It's her day - all you have to do is remember your lines, hit your mark, and don't bump into the furniture. See, _this_ I could probably fill a "grinds my gears" page about. It's my day too! Vendors/people that totally dismiss me like I have no input or opinion. Like when I call someone to ask/clarify things and get "Well, what does the bride want?" in response. (If it came down to it, she'd rather elope in Vegas. I'm the one that wants the party/celebration with all the family) The tux guy (my groom's? pretty sure that's not the proper term, but "friends wedding where I was the best man" seems clunky), at his wedding had a fit that we were trying to do something slightly off-tradition (colored shirts instead of white) and refused to believe that we knew what we were talking about and basically demanded we get the bride there.

Benjamin Grimm Jul 16 2010 07:15 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Well, usually it's the bride that cares and the groom that goes into "yes dear" mode. I consider myself very lucky to have found a gal who didn't want the big wedding thing, so I was spared all this angst. I think this is the first time I've known of a case where the groom wanted this stuff and the bride didn't. You have a golden opportunity here and you're not taking advantage of it!

Ceetar Jul 16 2010 07:26 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Well, usually it's the bride that cares and the groom that goes into "yes dear" mode. I consider myself very lucky to have found a gal who didn't want the big wedding thing, so I was spared all this angst. I think this is the first time I've known of a case where the groom wanted this stuff and the bride didn't. You have a golden opportunity here and you're not taking advantage of it! What's the golden opportunity? She doesn't _not_ care, so I can't get away with blue and orange for instance. We do have orange though, a blue sharpie could go a long way... It's probably not that uncommon. Obviously, there are things I don't care about (invitation design, the vows, the music) that she cares more about. And vice versa. A lot of weddings are colors and flowers and stuff, and that's where the "groom doesn't care" comes from. But there are certainly places where you can express yourselves nicely. I brewed a beer that we're giving away as favors, for instance. Table names/themes are probably going to ultimately be my decision. Even though we're both fairly laid back in not obsessing over details like if someone's going to wear white, or if a flower is slightly wilted, this is a busy/stressful period. There are so many things that have to get done. I could definitely see the benefit of a wedding planner, were one able to afford one.

themetfairy Jul 16 2010 07:42 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

When is the wedding? The closer you get to the date, the crazier things will get. If you realize that going in, you can just kind of ride the wave.

Ceetar Jul 16 2010 07:46 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

themetfairy wrote: When is the wedding? The closer you get to the date, the crazier things will get. If you realize that going in, you can just kind of ride the wave. Close enough that I think we're at the crest of craziness of having to pretty much finalize all the major points. Cake, honeymoon, music selection, tuxes, maid of honor dress (she's slacking!), hotel, wine tasting plans, beer labels.. 8=#FF8040]6 days away. =#000000]Weddings 10/10/10, which is binary for 42.

themetfairy Jul 16 2010 07:49 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

A memorable date :) Oh, and the craziness hasn't begun to crest. The last minute things can and will come out of the woodwork. It's not exactly the same, but I went through Bar Mitzvah planning for the third time last summer. Let me know on Facebook if you have any questions about anything.

seawolf17 Jul 16 2010 09:43 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

I remember when we ordered our invitations on the phone (before the internets really took off), the rep on the phone asked me what font we wanted for the return address on the back of the envelope. I told her it didn't matter, but she wouldn't take that for an answer. She told me that the bride probably knows what font she wants, so I hollered into the living room and asked. I held the phone out so the rep could hear the response: "Who gives a crap?" Good times.

Willets Point Jul 16 2010 09:56 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

themetfairy wrote: Oh, and the craziness hasn't begun to crest. The last minute things can and will come out of the woodwork. Yup! For example, you may plan to have your reception on an island and then find that a hurricane is expected on your wedding day. My wife-to-be and I got the anxiety out of our system by making commemorative motion sickness bags for our guests. (The storm went out to see and everything was lovely, by the way).

Ceetar Jul 16 2010 09:58 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Willets Point wrote: themetfairy wrote: Oh, and the craziness hasn't begun to crest. The last minute things can and will come out of the woodwork. Yup! For example, you may plan to have your reception on an island and then find that a hurricane is expected on your wedding day. My wife-to-be and I got the anxiety out of our system by making commemorative motion sickness bags for our guests. (The storm went out to see and everything was lovely, by the way). Yes, weather will definitely stress me out. the ceremony is outside. I'm going to keep the flask I was given for my best man duties in May close at hand.

themetfairy Jul 16 2010 10:01 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

The best will be your family members - whom you thought you could rely on to help you get through your big day - making a trillion and one last minute demands. Or maybe that's just my family....

Benjamin Grimm Jul 16 2010 10:15 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

I'm hoping you (and your right-thinking guests) will be distracted that day by the Mets playoff game that will be in progress.

soupcan Jul 16 2010 11:27 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Ceetar wrote: Yes, weather will definitely stress me out. the ceremony is outside. I'm going to keep the flask I was given for my best man duties in May close at hand. Yup - our ceremony was outside and reception inside. The skies were threatening at the beginning of the ceremony. Weather held out just long enough and all was well. themetfairy wrote: The best will be your family members - whom you thought you could rely on to help you get through your big day - making a trillion and one last minute demands. Or maybe that's just my family.... Nope - not just your family Fairy....

Ceetar Jul 16 2010 11:38 AM Re: Planning a Wedding Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jul 16 2010 11:42 AM

Benjamin Grimm wrote: I'm hoping you (and your right-thinking guests) will be distracted that day by the Mets playoff game that will be in progress. I've been fretting about this for months. I think I did the math (are the official playoff schedules out yet? i dont' think so) and there will be three LDS game 3's that day including both National League ones. The wedding well be over at 8 though, so if the Mets get the late game, we may be able to watch it afterwards. if it's the earlier one, I've already contemplated if they make (iremember hearing about them), cheap radios tuned to WFAN that I can hide on the tables or outside. More of a concern is going to be the NLCS. I'll be on my honeymoon. Do I just read recaps/scoring summeries/highlights? These games will be on at like 2pm.. Do I record (it won't fit anyway) every game on the DVR at home and spend all of the day when i get home watching them before even signing on to check my mail or text messages? can I even avoid the news before hand? at least i'll be home in time for the WS clincher.

metsmarathon Jul 16 2010 11:41 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

just remember, anything bad that happens, day of, is good luck. rain, bird poop, earthquakes, locusts, a bridesmaid's serious allergic reaction. its all good luck. if none of that happens... well... good luck...

Ceetar Jul 16 2010 11:44 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

metsmarathon wrote: just remember, anything bad that happens, day of, is good luck. rain, bird poop, earthquakes, locusts, a bridesmaid's serious allergic reaction. its all good luck. if none of that happens... well... good luck... Am I supposed to believe the Mets losing is good luck? oh wait, you meant the wedding.

Ashie62 Jul 16 2010 11:55 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

It's 10/13 for Ashie with a small gathering. We are older and many relatives have passed on. It has actually been mellow so far. Guess we are lucky. and on that post I become Mike Veil

themetfairy Jul 16 2010 12:07 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

metsmarathon wrote: just remember, anything bad that happens, day of, is good luck. rain, bird poop, earthquakes, locusts, a bridesmaid's serious allergic reaction. its all good luck. if none of that happens... well... good luck... It poured the day of my wedding (the Mets/Dodgers game at Shea that day was rained out). D-Dad usually uses an electric razor, but chose the day of the wedding to shave with a blade so he could get a closer shave. Apparently there was blood all over the hotel bathroom.... And yes, it's all good. 27+ years later and we're still happy together :)

John Cougar Lunchbucket Jul 16 2010 12:43 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

I spent a lot of energy worried bad weather, got a beautiful day but I wasn't sunscreened and I wound up lobsterized.

Ceetar Jul 16 2010 12:48 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: I spent a lot of energy worried bad weather, got a beautiful day but I wasn't sunscreened and I wound up lobsterized. Hoping October will mitigate the lobsterization a little bit. But definitely something to consider standing outside at 2:30 on a sunny afternoon. Maybe I'll have to work on getting a baseline tan earalier in the week.

Ceetar Jul 16 2010 12:49 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

Ashie62 wrote: It's 10/13 for Ashie with a small gathering. We are older and many relatives have passed on. It has actually been mellow so far. Guess we are lucky. and on that post I become Mike Veil Heh, that took me a moment to get, but very serendipitous? Congrats.

DocTee Jul 16 2010 03:51 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

if the Mets get the late game, we may be able to watch it afterwards. If you spend your wedding night watching the Mets, well... Was married on LI in the middle of the wettest two-week period ever recorded there. It pissed rain (for days (the outdoor ceremony had to be moved inside), roads flooded, the works...and we all survived. Worry about the things you can control, not those which are outside of it.

Ashie62 Jul 16 2010 05:43 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

Ceetar wrote: Ashie62 wrote: It's 10/13 for Ashie with a small gathering. We are older and many relatives have passed on. It has actually been mellow so far. Guess we are lucky. and on that post I become Mike Veil Heh, that took me a moment to get, but very serendipitous? Congrats. Likewise!

MFS62 Jul 17 2010 11:35 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Ceetar wrote: See, _this_ I could probably fill a "grinds my gears" page about. It's my day too! Vendors/people that totally dismiss me like I have no input or opinion. Like when I call someone to ask/clarify things and get "Well, what does the bride want?" in response. (If it came down to it, she'd rather elope in Vegas. I'm the one that wants the party/celebration with all the family) Then tell them that! Tell them it's your gig. Tell them your future bride may be right and if they hassle you, you will elope. Then channel Fman, and tell them to shut the fuck up and do what you want, stressing the fact that its YOUR money. About the weather thingie. One of my daughters wanted an outdoor wedding. On the day of the ceremony, the weather was very threatening. Then it cleared. Later, when the crremony was about half done, it started to drizzle. If you listen to the video, you can hear about ten people say, in unison, "Oh Shit!" Then it stopped drizzling just as quickly as it had started, and the sun came out. As I said, you'll look back on the day and have some very funny memories. Later

Ceetar Aug 05 2010 06:38 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Got the invitations out last week, not without a bit of a snafu involving forgetting to put the directions in and reopening 30 or so of them. oops. They say you should invite the president, so i did. I also invited David Wright and Eli Manning. (not together)

Benjamin Grimm Aug 05 2010 07:21 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Ceetar wrote: They say you should invite the president... Really? I never heard that. I bet he'd be miffed if you didn't invite him, so it's good that you did.

Ceetar Aug 11 2010 11:30 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ceetar wrote: They say you should invite the president... Really? I never heard that. I bet he'd be miffed if you didn't invite him, so it's good that you did. Haven't heard back from either of my three celebs yet. I know Eli is busy, but it's looking like David is going to free in October.. In the process of booking my honeymoon. attempted to get help from the AAA travel agency but the hours suck and I don't think they're getting me a better deal than I could do myself.

Vic Sage Aug 11 2010 12:45 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

It's my day too! what are you... gay?* *nttawwt seriously, the bride usually gets her way because: 1) it's usually her daddy's money; and 2) she has been practicising for this day since pre-adolescence I basically just exercised veto authority on key issues. her mother wanted to have the wedding at their "club", and i vetoed that. She also wanted to have recorded music piped in, with no room for dancing. And i vetoed that. Otherwise, i happily accepted my role as a prop in my wife's childhood fantasy, stuck in the eternal power struggle betweeen mothers and daughters. I offered opnions when they were solicited, so as to seem "involved", but otherwise stayed the hell out of it. Were i given the option to elope, i would've done it in a heartbeat. But that's me.

Centerfield Aug 11 2010 12:51 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

Agreed with Vic. You do get 2-3 minutes that focuses on you. Your Best Man's toast. Everything else is all about her. But at least you can drink.

Vic Sage Aug 11 2010 01:52 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

i got stoned on the roof with my buddies. It made the whole "shoving the cake in each other's mouth" alot more satisfying.

Edgy DC Aug 11 2010 01:58 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

I talked my brother out of making a toast. That cut me down to one.

Ceetar Aug 11 2010 02:00 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

Edgy DC wrote: I talked my brother out of making a toast. That cut me down to one. I don't really necessarily want a toast, but my best man made me make one at his wedding, so it's only fair. I probably won't be getting stoned. Although, that's probably what my best man's father intends.

Benjamin Grimm Aug 11 2010 02:06 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

Vic Sage wrote: Were i given the option to elope, i would've done it in a heartbeat. But that's me. I think most grooms feel that way. I know I did, and I was lucky enough to have a bride who was willing.

Ceetar Aug 11 2010 02:14 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Vic Sage wrote: Were i given the option to elope, i would've done it in a heartbeat. But that's me. I think most grooms feel that way. I know I did, and I was lucky enough to have a bride who was willing. Exact opposite for me. I want the whole party/celebration thing with all my family. She'd rather go to Vegas. (Well, I'd rather do both really, but if we're gonna have a party, might as well do the whole bit.)

TransMonk Aug 11 2010 02:16 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

My special lady friend and I have already decided that if/when we get hitched, it's going to be by eloping to Vegas. Granted, we've both been married before and have been through the wedding ordeal. But it's nice to know it is something we won't have to worry about.

Willets Point Aug 11 2010 02:20 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

My wife & I planned out our wedding together and it turned out to be a great day. It was fun to put together an occasion to have all our family and friends together in one place and have a good time.

Ashie62 Aug 14 2010 08:45 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

60 days to go....A grand total of 10 guests at the A.C. 80's beach bar...Hotel upstairs.

Ceetar Sep 02 2010 01:26 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

Ashie62 wrote: 60 days to go....A grand total of 10 guests at the A.C. 80's beach bar...Hotel upstairs. 38 days for me, roughly 100 guests out in Miller Place. btw, I strongly dis-recommend the Crowne Plaza in Holtzville. Sleeeeeezebags! See the rate online for a whirlpool suite for ~144 a night. Figure, hey, I've got a wedding block, maybe they'll be nice to me if i call and mention it when i made the reservation. I have a conversation with the women, who books it for me (never mentions the price, which I should've asked..my fault there..) at the oh so reasonable rate of $179 a night. I think she booked me with the 'breakfast' rate instead of the 'best flexible' or the 'adv purchase'. makes no sense. Hard to confirm/fight too, because it was the only room and it no longer shows up on the web.

dgwphotography Sep 02 2010 01:55 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

DocTee wrote: if the Mets get the late game, we may be able to watch it afterwards. If you spend your wedding night watching the Mets, well... 23 years and 3 days ago, Mrs. DGW and I checked into our room, and while unpacking, I put on the TV for some background noise. With God as my witness, I did not change the channel, and I swear that TBS was already on, when she came out of the bathroom, and said, "You couldn't wait to put on a baseball game?" The Braves were playing the Cardinals, and the Braves were about to blow a lead in the 9th inning, allowing the Cardinals to win. I knew at that moment that 1987 wasn't going to be the Mets year...

Edgy DC Sep 02 2010 02:00 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

You were the ones whose wedding band broke up on the eve of your reception, right? How did you handle that? Emergency replacements or a badass lawyer calling them and demanding they meet their contractual obligations and drag their disbanded selves through a set of oldies, ballads, and popular hits.

Ceetar Sep 02 2010 02:38 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

The deadline for response cards was yesterday. I got a card of congrats from the president, but David Wright and Eli Manning missed the deadline. (as did quite a few of my bumbling friends)

dgwphotography Sep 02 2010 06:33 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

Edgy DC wrote: You were the ones whose wedding band broke up on the eve of your reception, right? How did you handle that? Emergency replacements or a badass lawyer calling them and demanding they meet their contractual obligations and drag their disbanded selves through a set of oldies, ballads, and popular hits. The band broke up about 6 weeks before the reception. We just got another band, which is another story in itself...

themetfairy Sep 02 2010 07:40 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

dgwphotography wrote: Edgy DC wrote: You were the ones whose wedding band broke up on the eve of your reception, right? How did you handle that? Emergency replacements or a badass lawyer calling them and demanding they meet their contractual obligations and drag their disbanded selves through a set of oldies, ballads, and popular hits. The band broke up about 6 weeks before the reception. We just got another band, which is another story in itself... Details?

Ashie62 Sep 03 2010 11:23 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

dgwphotography wrote: Edgy DC wrote: You were the ones whose wedding band broke up on the eve of your reception, right? How did you handle that? Emergency replacements or a badass lawyer calling them and demanding they meet their contractual obligations and drag their disbanded selves through a set of oldies, ballads, and popular hits. The band broke up about 6 weeks before the reception. We just got another band, which is another story in itself... Gun's n' Roses?

dgwphotography Sep 04 2010 11:55 AM Re: Planning a Wedding Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Sep 04 2010 04:20 PM

Nothing too exotic, just that they sucked. The song we were using for our first dance needed a singer who could hit the high notes, and the band we originally picked performed the song beautifully. When they broke up, we decided on just going with a DJ. I knew a few in the area, so I knew we would be covered. Wrong. I made the mistake of letting my parents steamroll me. They had offered to pay for the band, and they said that if they were paying for it, they weren't paying for a DJ. Always being the obedient son, up to that point, I acquiesced, and they picked a band that my high school music teacher performed in. My ears still bleed just thinking of it...

themetfairy Sep 04 2010 01:33 PM Re: Planning a Wedding

LOL Dare I ask what the song was?

Ceetar Sep 09 2010 09:13 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

I was at a wedding recently where the father of the bride had found a song they really really wanted to dance to, but managed to mutilate the CD and get it stuck in the player the day before. He recorded it on a blackberry and had them play it off that at the wedding. it was..sweet i guess, but..as you can imagine the sound quality wasn't so good. Piazza days until my wedding!

Ceetar Sep 20 2010 07:36 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

After being thoroughly de-bachelorized via party this weekend, (or something to that effect..there was a lot of beer and booze and whatnot. ) I have become further annoyed with my hotel for the wedding. to recap, they flat out refused to give us 20 rooms on the block, saying they only did 10 at a time and add as it fills up. So guess what? The rest of the hotel booked up, our block is booked up, they never made it bigger, and now the hotel is completely booked.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Sep 20 2010 11:20 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

Like a certain fictional car-rental joint, your hotel management seems to know how to take the reservation, just not how to hold the reservation. Whadja do, bachelor-party-wise*? Have attended both dirty (the usual , the not-so-usual/wedding party members departing the club with some entertainers for a short while) and clean (paintball in the Jersey hinterlands, poker and clubbing in AC, cigars and humiliating stories at Bar and Books) varieties in the not-too-distant past... and was also thinking about what I'll do on that front once we do the big, family-style hitching. *Fifth amendment rules apply.

Ceetar Sep 20 2010 11:26 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: Like a certain fictional car-rental joint, your hotel management seems to know how to take the reservation, just not how to hold the reservation. Whadja do, bachelor-party-wise*? Have attended both dirty (the usual , the not-so-usual/wedding party members departing the club with some entertainers for a short while) and clean (paintball in the Jersey hinterlands, poker and clubbing in AC, cigars and humiliating stories at Bar and Books) varieties in the not-too-distant past... and was also thinking about what I'll do on that front once we do the big, family-style hitching. *Fifth amendment rules apply. Very tame in general, though we had a lot of fun. We went to the poconos for the weekend. (I was my best man's best man back in May, we did paintball) Drank heavily, rented a house that had pool, shuffleboard and air hockey, Saturday we went to some hi-speed gokarting place in lehigh valley,went to mt. Airy casino and ate steak and drank heavily. It was fun, I wouldn't have minded some of the dirtier/usual stuff as I haven't done a lot/any of those types of clubs but pretty sure our crowd isn't really the right crowd for that. My only disappointment was that we did end up driving around a little too much and a lot of us were beat by the time we got back to the house Saturday night so the proper amount of crazy drinking didn't continue long enough.

Ashie62 Sep 20 2010 11:31 AM Re: Planning a Wedding

If you don't get an annullment within a week I'm still a "go" 10/13