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CAN’T YOU FOLLOW SIMPLE DIRECTIONS DAMMIT!!
Is it Sep 3 yet?? Well IS IT?!?
Oh what the fuck, now that you’ve gone and opened it anyway - I recently realized that I’m going to be out of touch during my scheduled final KTE of the year for next weekend’s three-game tilt at Wrigley (All Day Games!!!) against the mighty sCrUBS (spending the week neck-deep in Atlantic Ocean ... and relatives). So, as a result, y'all get an advance quickie KTE detailing (and by that I mean with little detail at all) what the baby bears have been up to since we took 3 of 4 from them back in freakin’ April.
54-75 in 5th place in the NL Central. The only reason they’re not in last place is the rule that mandates the Pirates must reside there.
Cubs in brief:
-- Lou’s gone, Lee’s gone, and the other Lee isn’t here yet.
* Lou would be Piniella, who retired prematurely and left the club in the hands of something named Mike Quade, which for some reason is pronounced QUAD-EEE. AAA mgr Ryne Sandberg waits in the wings hoping to get named full-time mgr come this winter. Think of him like Gary Carter only, you know, willing to do the minor league work first before assuming the throne.
* Lee is Derrick Lee, long-time 1st baseman now off to Atlanta for the final month where I don't think the Braves have won since acquiring him.
* The other Lee is Hak-Ju Lee, the 19 y/o Korean-born SS who’s a pretty good prospect in A-Ball (at least with the glove). He’s not nearly ready yet but I bring him up here because it fits the theme and he’s got a cool name.
-- Zambrano’s back but is still overpaid & crazy, Soriano never left so is still overpaid & lazy, Ramirez’s future looks overpaid & hazy.
IOW, yeah they got a few bad contracts kicking around Chicago’s north side.
* Carlos Zambrano, the starter turned reliever turned nut case turned reliever who’s not only back from an extended stay on the Disgruntled List but is also back in the rotation again. Owed $55+mil over next 3 years.
* Soriano can still bang out XBHs but has a contract that makes Ollie’s look good and makes a lot of outs. Still owed $72mil over the next four seasons
* Aramis Ramirez is having a better 2nd half after a horrid start but is still just up to a .300 OBA. Still owed over $30mil (in options)
-- In 2010, the French connection no longer connect, Castro & Colvin hit more than you expect, and Geovany Soto wins back some respect
* The ‘French Connection’ combo of Theriot & Fontenot has been broken up as Fotenot sits most games in favor of rookie SS Starlin Castro (.315/.360/.440)
* So who’s leading NL rookies in HRs? Ike? Sanchez? Heyward? Posey?, Not quite pine-tar breath ... it’s Cubs OF Tyler Eugene Colvin with 19 round-trippers in just over 300 ABs
- Catcher Geovany Soto, the 2008 NL RoY, crashed to .218/.321/.381 last season (60 XBHs fell to 31) but is now bouncing back to his rookie season pace
Pitching:
-- Carlos Silva: sounds like silver, is paid in gold, but pitches like bronze
Another candidate for the overpaid guy of the year award. Was actually their best pitcher early on but crashed in July and now hasn’t pitched since Aug 1. Owed $11mil + a 2012 option for $12
- Ted Lilly, the man voted most likely to be traded at the deadline but wasn’t, is somehow 3-8 with a decent ERA (3.69) and WHiP (1.137)
- So how does one give up just 37 hits in 60 IPs while striking out 108 and only allowing 1 HR manage to give up 3+ runs every 9 IP, blow 5 saves and lose 3 games? By walking 42 batters of course. Yes, it’s Carlos Marmol, the closer who makes KRod look steady.
- Brian Schlitter. I have nothing here, just wanted everyone to know that the Cubs have a reliever named Brian Schlitter. I was going to use the ‘Get beat up in school much?’ line but then I realized the dude is 6’5”/235
Matchups: Ehh I dunno, it depends on what happens between now and then. Why not just check your local newspapers when the time comes you lazy shits?
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