Sep 24 2010 02:43 PM
Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Sep 24 2010 02:52 PM
The breakdown:
44-15 since July 21. 18-3 in September. 10 in a row. Barring three days of hail or a Cloverfield attacking the Ben Franklin Bridge, they will clinch this weekend, in front of thousands of wildly cheering fans, vomiting South Jerseyans, and drunken toddlers. They will do this exuberantly, despite clinching more often in recent years than an emotionally-needy Larry Holmes. They will do so because they are happy, and because they are lucky, lucky jerks.
Are they going to break this Met team down this weekend like so much gravel-pit fodder? Will the sun rise tomorrow? Will it smile on Philadelphia, as if to say, "You, you sad little racially-conflicted wet fart of a Northeastern city, with your ridiculous murder rates and your city government issues that make Newark look well-oiled... you are my most favored?"
How can you avoid a breakdown yourself? Get outside, get some air. Go running. Enjoy the follllliage. Do some apple-picking. Alternatively, you drink copiously and you pretend the Mets are wearing throwback red New York Cubans jerseys and playing, like, Milwaukee or something. Or watch some football. Or any number of lounge-y things, really.
The lineup:
Same old assholes. Except with fucking Oil Spill playing credibly for Rollins.
Fuck. And yes.
They're long. They're strong. They're down to get the friction on, and rub it in our faces.
I'm not going to tell you to root for an injury, but I won't wag a finger against it.
The matchups:
All their guys have ridiculous chinbeard things-- what are the phuckin' odds?
9/24: Rara Avis vs. Joe Blanton(26 GS, 160.2 IP, 7-6 record, 5.04 ERA, 1.44 WHIP, 122 K, 38 BB, 4.36 FIP, 4.06 xFIP).
Blanton's 2-1 in 6 really decent starts against the Metsies, career. Last time out, he went seven and pitched really tidily-- 7 hits, 2 ER, 4 K/0 BB-- in a 7-5 Phils win. He's the Ned Beatty-- in body and spirit-- of the Phils' weekend-pitching canoe-trip.
ALTERNATIVE: Seriously, go rent something. Watch "A Prophet," for example. It's fantastic, like a French "Godfather," almost. (But yeah, not quite.)
9/25: Lousy With Virginity vs. Kyle Kendrick (29 GS, 169.1 IP, 11-9 record, 4.78 ERA, 1.38 WHIP, 78 K, 46 BB, 5.04 FIP, 4.85 xFIP).
Okay, maybe he's the Beatty (though Blanton looks more the part). He's been iffy but mostly lucky against Team Flushing (3.07 career, 1.52 WHIP, < 1 K/BB ratio over 8 starts).
ALTERNATIVE: Or, you could check out the Vendy Awards, New York's annual best-of-the-city food truck competition on Governor's Island. Admission's a little steep ... but, there's Schnitzel and shwarma and Belgian waffles and tacos-- oh, the tacos-- that will set your soul on fire and leave you a charred, overfull husk of culinary satisfaction.
9/26: Pelf vs. Cole "Power of Two" Hamels (31 GS, 202 2/3 IP, 12-10 record, 2.93 ERA, 1.15 WHIP, 207 K, 57 BB, 3.55 FIP, 3.37 xFIP).
I guess he'd be Jon Voight? (We don't face either of the Burt Reynoldses this go-round.) We eat him up more than most do (3.43 ERA/1.43 WHIP against, over 12 starts), but he's been tearing the NL a new NL opening for the last two months, and struck out 11 Mets his last time out (a tough luck loss against Raw Asskicking). He's still prone to an ill-timed home run or two... but that may not matter.
ALTERNATIVE: Ego Trip's Bowling for Beats, at Brooklyn Bowl, featuring quality beatsmithery from a wild, wooly lineup (Pete Rock, Prince Paul, the Beatnuts' Psycho Les, alt-hip-hopper Edan, J-Zone, and the famed mag/blog's own Chairman Mao). It promises to be the tits. And 7 dollars only!
Exes:
Reds from Blues: Oil Spill, Schneider
Blues from Reds: With Throb on the best coast, none
