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High School Reunion

Edgy DC Oct 14 2010 09:02 PM

Should I go? Shoud I force my wife to? Plusses? Minuses?

Rockin' Doc Oct 14 2010 09:53 PM Re: High School Reunion

I had a great time at my 15th and 20th reunions. I unfortunately was unable to attend the 25th & 30th (I'm getting old) reunions, but I hope to make the next one. My wife never enjoyed her class reunions very much. I find it interesting to watch how the interaction between people changes over time. It's interesting to me the differences between my class reunions and those of my wife. We have attended them on consecutive weekends in years past and we both found the contrasts quite startling. At my class reunions, many of the people that wouldn't give one another the time of day when they were in school, suddenly talk to one another like long lost friends. My wife's class reunions are still stuck in the same cliques from their school days. My wife says that she enjoys my class reunions more than those of her own class. I think that if you have friends from your high school days that you would like to catch up with, then you should certainly go and enjoy yourself. Your lovely wife should go with you as moral support. If you get there and find that you (or your wife) are having a dreadful time, then you can simply cut out and make a "date night" of it. Best of luck to you with whatever you decide to do.

HahnSolo Oct 15 2010 06:28 AM Re: High School Reunion

I went to my 25th in February. We were a relatively small graduating class and we were an all-boys school, so the cliqueishness was never that bad. I went, talked to the people I wanted to talk to, and avoided drama. It was a really good time. I would say no to bringing the spouse. The only reason my wife came was b/c one of my still-best-friends brought his wife, so they each had someone to talk to.

Benjamin Grimm Oct 15 2010 06:34 AM Re: High School Reunion

I went to my ten-year, and it was a dud. I was still single at the time, so at least I didn't drag an innocent victim along. While there were a few people that it was nice to see, there were too many awkward moments. I'd approach someone that I remembered, and I could tell that they were just pretending to know who I was. And then someone would approach me, and it would be my turn to do the pretending. Plus, it cost me $80 (and this was in 1991 dollars) and a three-hour trip to Long Island. I don't know if my experience was typical. I did get to spend time that weekend with some good friends, but we all agreed that it would have been more fun if we had skipped the official event. Eighteen years later, we basically did just that.

metirish Oct 15 2010 06:55 AM Re: High School Reunion

I just got a facebook message telling me about a high school reunion sometime in December , and it would be a 20th reunion.....damn...won't be going though. I see the ones I want to see when I go home anyway . A few questions for Edgy 1) Would you have close friends there? 2) Did you enjoy your time back then at school 3)Will some doll be wanting to slap you?....or some guy? If I was going I wouldn't want the wife anywhere near it :)

RealityChuck Oct 15 2010 07:04 AM Re: High School Reunion

I went to my 40th a few weeks ago. It was a blast, but a lot of that had to do with the venue: we chartered a boat and went for an evening cruise (on a night when they were setting off fireworks). They also had a get-together the night before at a local bar for those who didn't want to spring for the boat tickets. I had a great time. I hadn't seen many of the people since graduation (I had moved out of the area) and it was fun catching up. It helped that we were a small school (about 120 in the class), so everyone knew everyone. My wife stayed home; she's not comfortable meeting strangers. Others brought spouses (and even children), who seemed to enjoy it.

Edgy DC Oct 15 2010 07:07 AM Re: High School Reunion

1) Would you have close friends there? Not particulary close but we were young together and that's something. 2) Did you enjoy your time back then at school? Did anybody? I was treated cruelly at times, but looking back later I realized I was probably crueler to other folks than I realized. 3)Will some doll be wanting to slap you?....or some guy? I wish. My high school sweetie pants was a year behind me. She lives in Vermont now and certainly won't be around. Our fee is $70, plus transport and stuff.

seawolf17 Oct 15 2010 07:16 AM Re: High School Reunion

I wouldn't go to mine. Just not worth spending the money, in a world where I get all the updates/photos/news I need from Facebook. And I'm still within an hour's drive of my high school, so it wouldn't even be that big of an expense.

themetfairy Oct 15 2010 07:16 AM Re: High School Reunion Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Oct 15 2010 08:02 AM

I've skipped my high school reunions. My high school experience was atypical - there was a lot of expansion going on in my district (any Long Islanders remember Half Hollow Hills in the 70s?), and the long and short is that my class wound up being split between two schools. Plus most of my friends were a year older than me, and they were all in the other high school (which accounts for the fact that I never actually went to high school with my high school boyfriend, even though we had overlap at the same junior high school). So the bottom line is that I never had the interest in paying for the event (I think that last year's reunion was something like $150 a ticket) in order to hang out with a bunch of people with whom I wasn't particularly close in the first place. There are actually several people from Half Hollow who have settled in my part of NJ. One of them was telling me about our 25th reunion, and how she wound up hanging out with L.M. all evening. I would consider a night of blaring music and L.M. for company to be a ring of hell.... OTOH, D-Dad is more of a party animal, and he loves these things. But things are different in Washington State. He had to miss his 30th last year (it was the same day as MK's Bar Mitzvah. Who plans a reunion in August anyway?), and the reports of the drinking and carousing were insane. You couldn't have paid me to get within three counties of that kind of mess, but apparently those who attended enjoyed the event. ============================= But back to Edgy's question - if you and Cha are so on the fence that you have to ask people whether you should go to this event, my guess is that you're not interested in it enough to make it worth your time and money. And never force anyone to attend an event where they won't know the people and won't be able to partake in the reminiscing; if she doesn't want to go, leave her be.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Oct 15 2010 07:23 AM Re: High School Reunion

I dropped out of site for a long while and was unaware of it, but apparently my school held a 10th and 20th I never knew about. Now in the Facebook Era, a guy tried to drum up interest in a 25th and fell way short of willing participants. I think maybe his error was asking people if they wanted to do it first instead of pretending to have some scheduled. In our town the annual Firemen's Fair is a defacto reunion, though I haven't made it there in years either.

Frayed Knot Oct 15 2010 08:01 AM Re: High School Reunion

Never went, never had any interest in going. My father, on the other hand, who was always a bit on the nostalgic side to begin with, got increasingly more interested in his reunions as he got older. He did have the 2 or 3 close HS buddies with whom he stayed in contact with their entire lives although I'm not sure if they were regular attendees so seeing them wasn't specifically the reason he went. But through these things - particularly as the 'biggies' of 45, 50 & 60 went by - he hooked up with a bunch of others who were either just casual acquaintances back then or even ones he barely knew at all and, by the time of his death, was probably in contact with more of his HS class then at any other point since, well, probably since HS. So yaneverknow.

Fman99 Oct 15 2010 09:32 AM Re: High School Reunion

I skipped my 10 year reunion as I had a friend from HS get married that same summer and was able to catch up with 5-7 of my closer friends from high school at his wedding. That was 9 years ago. Facebook has allowed me to catch up with many of my old friends since then, so I think I may attend my 20 year reunion with the wife in 2011 if the cost isn't outrageous. My parents are still in the area so they'd be able to watch the kids while we went.

Edgy DC Oct 15 2010 09:35 AM Re: High School Reunion

Part of the thing is that Facebook has alllowed me to catch up with my not-friends in recent years, and many of them have seemed to turn out to be perfectly decent people. Do I risk al that?

Chad Ochoseis Oct 15 2010 09:44 AM Re: High School Reunion

Not clear what's being risked. That they'd turn out to be the same losers you knew in high school and not the decent people they appear to be now? I'd say to go if you think there will be some decent folks there. $70 isn't much, although the trip to Longuyland would add to that. No reason to bring your wife. Me, I've never gone to one. But it's a different situation - I moved at the beginning of ninth grade, so the people I went to high school with aren't the people I grew up with. They weren't particularly evil - well, some of them were, but not all - but I don't feel the same connection that I would if I'd known them since childhood. Besides, I live in another state. I'm only ten minutes away from my old high school. But, still, another state. Yeah, that's it. Can't possibly cross state lines to go to one of these things. I'm friends with five HS people on Facebook and keep threatening to get together with the two of the five who live reasonably close.

Edgy DC Oct 15 2010 09:51 AM Re: High School Reunion

Chad Ochoseis wrote: Not clear what's being risked. That they'd turn out to be the same losers you knew in high school and not the decent people they appear to be now? Yah, fer sher.

TransMonk Oct 15 2010 10:14 AM Re: High School Reunion

My last high school reunion invitation was sent from a committee that was made up of 3 couples, all of whom dated in high school, got married after high school, all stood up at each others' weddings and all still attend all social functions together as a group. I declined the invitation. I didn't hang out with most peeps from my class...my friends were all a year or two older. I get enough info via Facebook and that's fine by me. My junior high school class has been threatening a reunion...and that would interest me way more.

Benjamin Grimm Oct 15 2010 10:18 AM Re: High School Reunion

High school reunions would have more appeal if they were held in the high school gym, like they are on TV shows, instead of in hotel ballrooms, which seems to be the case in real life.

themetfairy Oct 15 2010 10:22 AM Re: High School Reunion

Here's a question Edgy - do you want to go? Not do you think you should go, or do you think it's a good idea to go, but do you want to go? If you think hanging out with this group would be enjoyable, then you should do it. But if you don't want to go and you're looking for us to talk you into it, then I don't think it's worth the effort. If you only want to go to show off Cha Cha, then don't go. Yes, she's a wonderful person. But it's not worth making her sit through nostalgia that she doesn't share just so you can show everyone that you married well.

Centerfield Oct 15 2010 10:36 AM Re: High School Reunion

Wow. Never have I heard the question resolved so clearly. Nice job Metfairy.

Edgy DC Oct 15 2010 10:48 AM Re: High School Reunion

Thank you all. I just meant to bring it up as a talking point. My wife isn't going. Certainly forces her to do anything. And I certainly used up any chits I had on the Hoodoo Gurus. I don't know if I want to go. Not sure what to expect.

themetfairy Oct 15 2010 10:49 AM Re: High School Reunion

Centerfield wrote: Wow. Never have I heard the question resolved so clearly. Nice job Metfairy. Thanks CF.

HahnSolo Oct 15 2010 11:01 AM Re: High School Reunion

themetfairy wrote: If you only want to go to show off Cha Cha, then don't go. He's bringing Orlando Cepeda?

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Oct 15 2010 11:04 AM Re: High School Reunion

I was about to go into a whole spiel, but MF kinda summed it up for me... tidily. If HS felt more like someplace you escaped than someplace you outgrew, then you don't go. Traveled from Queens to attend my 10 year reunion (which was just after having hooked up with BetterHalfer, and just before the FB/social networking kaboom), doing so solo (the only way to fly). Most everyone behaved themselves, despite tippling a little more than they used to (some stuck around a little too long at the bar; I heard vague rumors of an unwanted... em... accident). Cliques more or less vanished; people gravitated to those they wanted to chat up, regardless of circle. I had a bunch of secondary-circle friends with whom I'd fallen out of touch, so it was a nice catch-all way to see some familiar faces and collect some e-mail addys. But yeah, no excessive rudeness, inappropriate hugs (in my presence), or amateur dramatics... and I had 2-3 medium-to-long-term exes at the thing.

Fman99 Oct 15 2010 01:08 PM Re: High School Reunion

HahnSolo wrote: themetfairy wrote: If you only want to go to show off Cha Cha, then don't go. He's bringing Orlando Cepeda? See, I assumed he was bringing the whore that stole Danny Zuko from Olivia Newton-John at the big dance off. With Sonny and Putzie's help of course. Stupid musicals.

metsguyinmichigan Oct 15 2010 02:08 PM Re: High School Reunion

I've never been to one -- the distance made it difficult, especially when the kids were young. But we're due for another in 2012 and I'd like to go. I'd want to apologize to people I didn't treat as well as I should have. I did attend one of my wife's reunions, the 10-year gathering. It was strange as a spouse. She was in a really small class of 100, and people would look at me and try to remember who I was.

G-Fafif Oct 15 2010 05:47 PM Re: High School Reunion

Skipped my tenth as it seemed Too Soon. I've long lived in the same general vicinity of Long Island, not far from where I grew up, so there was nothing magical about getting together with people I now and then ran into. (I'm told it was fun; oh well.) Attended my twentieth and it was a blast. One of my friends I was still close to was helping to organize. Schlepped Mrs. Fafif, if just to say, "Hey, look who I married!" She had an OK time (because she knew about a half-dozen people) and I had the good sense to take her up on her "can we go already?" on the first or second tug. Nice to see casual acquaintances again; got a kick out of reintroducing myself to a girl (by then, of course, a woman) I probably hadn't said two words to after fourth grade and she was all, "You don't have to tell me who you are, I'd recognize you anywhere." Honestly I was dreading the whole thing, but it turned out to be a wonderful night. My organizing friend, who's sort of in the film business, made a sensational reunion video that had people in tears, chills, stitches, the whole bit. [Enjoy it for the craftsmanship here if you dare; I show up at approximately 9:54 in my Mets Starter jacket and without a haircut in apparently four months ... the music makes it tolerable to even those who didn't attend our school, but boy do we look like outtakes from Freaks and Geeks.] Then there was the twenty-fifth. I swore off reunions after that. Nothing terrible happened, just a blah time. The twentieth combined two classes (ours and the one from the year after), but this was just ours, and no more than 25 or 30 alums showed. It reminded me of why I skipped the tenth -- there were my two closest friends whom I could have just called anytime to catch up (one lived in Calif. and flew in for this; the other was still organizing for some reason), and then there were just a bunch of people I didn't know all that well back in the day or with whom my relationship peaked in second or fourth grade (we had a lot of K-12 diehards in our town). They were the same but 25 years older. Plus, for the Mrs. and me, it was $190, which I wasn't all that thrilled about. Great to see my friend from California and his (then) fiancee, but we saw them the next morning for breakfast, too, and it was a lot cheaper. OTOH, the evening did inspire this post about the 1981 Mets. At least I got something for my 190 bucks. Will not go to a thirtieth if it rears its annoying head (it would be next year). I've been fortunate to remain tight with a core group of five friends from HS, so we see each other at weddings, ballgames, funerals every few years, it seems. I like the ballgames better than the other stuff. Do what you feel comfortable with if we're still talking about your reunion.

themetfairy Oct 15 2010 06:06 PM Re: High School Reunion

OMG G - you were not kidding about the hair! But nice work on the video - a great memento for your class :)

John Cougar Lunchbucket Oct 24 2010 07:50 PM Re: High School Reunion

so let's hear about this shindig, boss.

Edgy DC Oct 24 2010 08:56 PM Re: High School Reunion

Nice to see everyody. Could have done without the microwaved mozzarella sticks and mini pizza bagels. Ugh. My guess is that two or three corporations control 90% of all class reunions. They set horribly low standards, fix the prices, and by the time you realize you've been had for your $70, you're on a plane back to Denver and won't remember so well how pissed you were in another five years. I think if you want to go into catering, you can do worse than to try and break the cartel stranglehold Reunions of America, Inc. and their like have on the industry.

metsguyinmichigan Oct 24 2010 09:26 PM Re: High School Reunion

Good points. After the 10th, I remember paying what I thought was a steep price for a "directory" that they made sound like a book. And when it arrived, it was something like a tri-folded paper. I felt horribly ripped off, with no recourse.

Edgy DC Oct 24 2010 09:35 PM Re: High School Reunion

I did have one person confess to a longtime crush on me, which boosted the old ego until exactly the moment until I saw the photos of myself on Facebook this morning. Dear Lord, who is that fat, blotchy red-eyed halfwit wearing my suit?

seawolf17 Oct 25 2010 05:51 AM Re: High School Reunion

Not that Facebook needs to make more money, but reunions are something they could absolutely own.

Benjamin Grimm Oct 25 2010 07:58 AM Re: High School Reunion

metsguyinmichigan wrote: Good points. After the 10th, I remember paying what I thought was a steep price for a "directory" that they made sound like a book. And when it arrived, it was something like a tri-folded paper. I felt horribly ripped off, with no recourse. I fell for that one too. I can't imagine they get any repeat business.

Benjamin Grimm Oct 25 2010 08:04 AM Re: High School Reunion

Edgy DC wrote: I think if you want to go into catering, you can do worse than to try and break the cartel stranglehold Reunions of America, Inc. and their like have on the industry. I remember thinking that somebody could make some money, and rid the world of a nuisance, by making a free version of Classmates.com, which would get its revenue from advertising rather than subscriptions. Even if it just broke even, it would at least serve the public good by putting Classmates out of business. Just as I was ruminating that possibility, Facebook came charging out of nowhere. (At least, to me, anyway. I was probably well behind many others in my awareness of social networking sites.) Not that Facebook isn't despicable in its own way, but at least they don't send me e-mails telling me to spend $50 to see what some dimly remembered so-and-so is up to now. Reunions of America is every bit as unlikeable as Classmates.com. Hopefully Facebook, or somebody, will kill them off as well, or at least provide them with healthy competition.

Edgy DC Oct 25 2010 08:31 AM Re: High School Reunion

If I have to name one disappointment: not enough legwarmers.