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Found this golden piece of holiday nostalgia on my hard drive... the collective ramblings of joelmon, in poem form. Originally assembled by the artist formerly known as YGB and shamelessly reprinted by me.
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YGB's xmas gift to his forum-mates: The Complete Works! Featuring the never-before published (in poem form) epic “I, Alarm Clock” plus your favorite hits from more than a year with the ‘Mon!
Happy Holidays…
They Have A Plan (Ode to the USA)
Are we headed to war?
NOt to be naieve,
This is as big of a declaration of war,
If that is what it is,
As there has ever been
From what I can imagine.
But if we blow a country up,
As many american's would suggest
Out of clear and understandable sadness and anger,
Who's to stop sympathizers
From trying to do the same to us?
These men are tacticians,
They want us to attack
And welcome it, I fear.
THey have a plan.
* * *
It Was Hicks
They don't offer a no trade, that's why the gm of atlanta felt
They would have had him otherwise
The $250m was HICKS.
If you guys READ him ADMIT THIS
We wouldn't have this conversation
But why let facts get in the way?
* * *
March Fred Called Him Bad Fit
Clearly wilpon REALLY wanted to spend the $
As clear by him REFUSING to pay larkin's extension request
sp admitting they would not for sheff,
Refusal to trdae for sosa
(march, fred called him bad fit)
SURE, it was arod who said "NO"
To us, of course
C'mon guys.
* * *
Go Tell Mike Lupica
But again, it's arod's fault
Let's BASH HIM
For calling US FIRST during free agency period.
And go tell LUPICA
He was imagining meeting arod in 98,
It's IMPOSSIBLE for a nyc born kid
To want to be a met.
Its' ALL an arod conspiracy
* * *
Grown Adult Businessmen
How many grown adults REALLY believe
That after the REFUSED
To pay for larkin and sheff's extension request
($20m/4 years)
Why do you IGNORE those facts?
Does it really anger you?
If so, maybe I can meet you in shea
And you can show me why it's worth the hell
To convince GROWN ADULTS how wilpon CHOSE to say no.
Do you think PIAZZA had the POWER
When he signed his deal?
Imagine if we won the ws 2 years in a row
And 99 had soldout alrady,
Would they REALLY run after piazza
JUST as strongly?
IF you think so, do not reply.
You are NOT aware of how grown adult businessmen work,
And you should be ashamed for not grasping this.
This is 4 year old level common sense.
Of COURSE they would not
* * *
Confrontation
arod was not about $
And you blame him for $250m
When the OWNER ADMITTED
He chose to overpay
Idiots.
You all 'ignore' this.
Why?
YOU DO NOT HAVE THE FACTS.
The OWNER knows MORE than you.
Dig?
Comprende?
Is this too compliated for some of you?
* * *
Eureka
I GET IT.
Yeah, WILPON was the VICTIM,
he's crying,
Tell that to PIAZZA
Who said he'd FLY HIm here.
He'd HIT you before he'd say
"Yeah, that arod is a meanie,
Boo hoo"
* * *
Cracker & Peas
What's scary is if one were gay (not him)
That is the PERFECT way, if they are a celebrity,
To silence any doubts,
A PLAYBOY model and have the duo publicized a lot
Per your quote, however, you state media showing him with this woman.
Wasn't Rock Hudson seen with women?
You need more than what the media shows,
You can PLAN what the media shows,
Never forget this.
I know celebreties don't.
Kinda like Colista Flockhart having that hotdog in her mouth
In the ws game
Right when the camera was pointed at her
Selling a fox show she does,
What better way to 'prove' she isn't barfing in the toilet every 2 hours after eating her cracker and peas?
I don't believe he's gay,
Nor care, but if he were,
What better way to remove any doubts
Than to publicize a relationship
With the pinnacle of heterosexuality,
Dating a ditzy big busted playboy model?
* * *
I Do Cheater
Yeah, believe SP
"WE are a better team than last year"
"I do" Cheater
"Met fans will witness the greatest comeback in history"
"We are not trading for Mike Piazza"
Wake up
****
Creepy Documenter
Would you like my address while you're at it?
God, you're creepy
Bash, insult, track old posts,
What's next. A knife and rope in at my door at 2pm?
And you guys bash me.
Go support wilpon,
I am sure he will save you from that big bully arod
And hug and kiss you from big bully joelmon
You idiots.
So I guess when sp said
They wouldn't pay sheff's extension
And 'within our business plan' referring
To how they will approach fa's,
That =
"We want to spend $18m+/year for 7 years"
Right?
Go stalk and attack somebody else
You freak
OR how about you DOCUMENT it was arod who's at fault.
No, just bash joelmon
* * *
The Last Word (Ode To YGB)
Yeah, keep collecting my archives you clown
Want my phone # and ss # while you're at it?
God, did I bully you as a kid?
Did arod kick your dog?
Did wilpon save you from a burning building?
You 'positive' fans are funny.
SO ANGRY
(!!!)
And so insulting
I am sure PIAZZA would be SO PROUD of you
Make fun of me all you want,
At least I am not stupid enough to think wilpon
Wanted to spend $ like george and know
Of their ADMITTED limited budget
And know not to bash those
Unless they treat me like dogshit
Be lime bill m or msmet,
Even if I don't always agree with them,
And was hard on bill earlier,
He's an ADULT and a decent PERSON
But I guess asking THAT from YOU GUYS
Is too much 'cause I have the NERVE
To challenge a BUSINESSMAN
On NOT wanting to blow $
On a blanket no trade clause
For $18m/year. RIIIIGHT
Sure he'll spend that on giambi.
When he doesn't,
You can make Volume 4,
Me telling you
To kiss my ass
* * *
This Awesome Trilogy Of Talent
You kidding?
Benny's a stud
Be glad we're the only team in baseball
Giving him that much time over guys like alex
And that we ignored juan gone.
I love also how lenny harris and mark johnson get more ab's than escobar this year, CLEARLY the majority of other teams would have done the same,
The stunning talent we have on display brings tears to my eyes.
Benny just completes
This awesome triliogy of talent that we have
Slow old white infielders with no power
Old broken down middle relievers
30 year old soft hitting outfielders
yummy
* * *
Bobby’s Dream
Boy, I bet this is bobby v's wet dream,
This team
All bench bums
All the time
arod/abar/juan gone? HA!
We've got our bench bums, baby
You wait til they are one year older and slower
Christ, the whole outfield
Will be a bunch of soft hitting 30 year olds
Who can't steal,
Shoot me
* * *
“Nevermind”
C'mon, of COURSE that's why arod isn't here
and NO OTHER 5+ year player after piazza
That costs more than him
That's why he told sp
No long term contracts
As reported june 2000 in dailynews
I guess that was a conspiracy,
Nevermind
* * *
“Before Park”
Look, bonds = $
to make now before park
arod = damage such,
potentially without need,
as they made ws
piazza comes when we FAIL and lose $
bonds can come too in similar circumstances
giambi = less $ per year maybe
or =, but TOO MANY YEARS
owners HATE no trades
that's why atl refuses them
and ADMITTED it cost them arod
as did AROD
so yes, we WILL go after bonds, all 24+1 of him
and when we do,
go talk about how arod was greedy
and not us, guys
Assuming he wants to come to a team
that puts down hall of famers
and lies to their fans
"Will witness the greatest comeback in history"
"We are not conceding the season"
'We are not trading for piazza"
He'll come if they throw $,
but it'll prove arod was not to blame,
But his one true demand
No trade clause for 7 years
* * *
“I, Alarm Clock”
Sp was QUOTED by espn article (archives)
there were no CONTRACT demands
Ya think they back out like this with piazza?
No.
Why?
They didn't make $ and were losing it and needed seats to be sold
Wake up
Arod wasn't psychic
To see the FIRST meeting is the last,
You SET IT UP to make MORE than one,
of COURSE if they KNEW it was JUST one allowed,
They'd cut to the chase
Any owner in HISTORY you know of,
Or TEAM,
That put down MORE players than us?
All those that had demands/goals to make more than Piazza, no less
Wake up.
Even if arod's life DEPENDED on a 2nd meeting,
HOW can he?
It's OVER,
Fred AUTHORIZED IT
And SAID he felt it was unnaceptable.
Then again, it HAS to be
'cause he OWES $ for his park
And nelson, of COURSE he's not going to blow $18+m for a guy
When he JUST made the ws
Would you if you did NOT have to and were a businessman?
See mike piazza for PROOF
On how they do ANYTHING to get a guy IF they MUST
Hey, sp 'negotiated' with malone
when they wanted piazza for sheff.
That = PASSION
where was THAT with arod?
You can't blame arod
'cause even if boras asked for fred's SON AND stadium,
you can still say "Let's negotiate"
did arod put a GUN to their head?
No, grow up,
of COURSE if fred's life depended on it they negotiate,
but if arod's depends on it,
HOW does he get that 2nd meeting?
He calls fred at 2 am?
Wake up
You have NO POWER
When the OWNER SHUTS YOU OUT
And says it's fine.
Get it?
This is BUSINESS
Go support wilpon
Who takes your $ after a ws nightmare
And bash arod
Who wanted to come
And was a month before hicks admitted
he had to pay $200+ only
'cause arod never wanted to go
And to hope atl didn't change their mind
Atl's offer was $7/126
but he DEMANDED a no trade
Arod was HONEST
he ADMITTED
he demanded
THAT and good $,
but he said $18m is enough
and PROVED it
Boras is satan, not arod
when did WILPON PROVE his LOVE for arod?
Arod showed he wanted to come
by having US the first to talk to,
without DEMANDS,
as sp ADMITTED
Wake up
this is BUSINESS,
Of COURSE fred didn't feel he needed him like piazza,
He had a GUARANTEED year
Of sold tickets after a ws,
Wake up
You don't CALL WILPON
When he says no
And ask for HIS $
Or second chances
"Duh, if arod wanted the mets,
why not call wilpon"
"Hello, fred here.
Oh, hi arod,
Yes, I am in my 60's and a top notch businessman,
I am too stupid to determine
if my NO was serious.
Please, call me tomorrow and we can meet"
Wake up
***
You've Been Warned
You saw it in them
I bet you see it in him
And I warned about this with abar if he stayed in AAA too long
And all came true
Be more agressive
+ pressure to keep job
+ too conscious of mechanics and ab's
= DEATH
* * *
Fruits of the Loom
I am saying jay/timo/alex likely have better years in a yankee environment
Where you CAN fail,
Or atl. or Houston, where they SUPPORT you,
Not yell at you in your underwear
And or putdown your 'airmailings'
Like sp,
That adulterating scumbag
(Can juan gone pitch)
* * *
When The Lights Go Down In The City
It's in his head.
Laugh if it sounds funny, I assure you it is.
Pressure and fried psyche = death.
Just like this team in May
which was clear in San Francisco,
that's why I was sure
They'd likely never reach .500.
It's not talent,
It's upstairs in their heads.
* * *
Solving For X
It has to come from within,
a passion has to be there.
There's a reason the most passionate owner about winning shows it in his actions,
And the least passionate show the least actions.
What ACTIONS is he showing
Since signing his ticket seller (piazza)
To indicate he'll ONLY go after top teir guys,
Instead of sneak by?
When was the last time you heard him say
"WE MUST WIN THE DIVISION" or
"WHERE IS X PLAYER?
* * *
Emphesema
Like Arod
Sosa
sheff
Juan
Manny
Delgado
Oledurd
Hampton
trax being a 15 game winner (Wilpon said this)
I believe we are a better team" SP
Piazza does not like nyc"
"we have hundley, we will not trade for piazza"
They are never wrong or lie,
that's not how corporations work
Like the tobacco industry
* * *
The Invisible Newspapers
They are all at fault --
The players, their fault.
We did EVERYTHING to get them
This is documented by the invisible newspapers
that show him DEMANDING them at ALL COSTS
* * *
I Cry
If we can't get giambi, I try for Payton/Rusch/Strange/+ for Sean Casey.
The reds gm laughs at me and I cry as I have no 1st baseman.
Unless I move piazza and sign CJ as an fa since the park won't go thuogh,
he can opt out fun to dream.
Arod <> $115m payroll with SMART decision making.
This is a FACT
* * *
My World
In my world,
With what I SCREAMED FOR
There IS no robin now
And dham would have been traded during his peak of interest
As would cook/wendell
That's 8+3+2+3m in salary GONE = $16m,
Give or take
As my estimate on cook can be off
* * *
Life Is But A Dream
LOL, I erased it,
DAMN, it was to be a new topic lol
but that's cool
(I asked what should be a NEW topic as what would you/
(and for fun)
what would you think
piazza and the players would do/
think if we passed on Giambi
IF he were interested in coming)
I gotta ask it later in shorter form
too tired
bleh
thanks
* * *
Quandry
What if piazza asks for HIM
Like he did arod/sheff and gets nothing?
Would he eat babies and foam at the mouth?
Be a cool cali dude about it?
How would the fans react?
Sales be affected for viewing his team?
How would the players react?
We saw the LIFE they showed
When their balls were ripped out of them
With the great passion fred showed to improve the team.
Why, remember in march him whining
About his spring training stadium not profiting?
(No joke)
That wasn't about the $,
That was his way of trying to improve this offense at all costs
* * *
OK Point
Ok, POINT:
IF we pass on him,
How would you view mgmt,
And would you expect fans to catch on?
And how do you think it would affect the team?
If at all.
And how do you think Piazza would react?
How would YOU react?
They lost hamp/o no sheff/arod after SAYING he wanted them.
No Giambi too?
No Juan Gone?
LOL, that would SUCK for him
***
Yes Or No
Would you agree,
If you were the gm,
And assuming you get non 40 man roster cheap prospects in return,
Be willing to dump them
Paying 1/2 of their remaining salary?
* * *
Unhealthy Pressure
You need him to get PRESSURELESS at bats before we compete again,
otherwise he'd NEVER get his confidence,
always have unhealthy pressure
MOST teams NEVER give their rookies
all kids need to FAIL once
Of course not all kids signed
internationally make the majors in so few ab's,
but who cares about facts,
let's bash him like Grant Roberts
***
Nothing Special
not 'cause I am special,
I am a @#%$.
But because it's human nature.
* * *
Brilliance
He HAD his confidence and was doing WELL
and they told him to piss off, basically.
His 2nd stint only desi had more hits,
they NEVER gave him his shot
but ventura was allowed to hit .179 since june 1
and zeile have 1 homer and 4 rbi.
BRILLIANT, wonder why we fail with young kids
and never compete like our rivals
* * *
Live And Learn
I hope fans learn from this over time.
There is more to a player than stats.
To ignore the most basic part of human nature for any athlete,
to question themselves,
really is pathetic.
* * *
2 Months Ago If Not Longer
Well, at least I can say
2 months ago if not longer than that
I wanted him traded when his value was highest
Again, trade a player when their value is highest
If they are post peak
Branch ricky said it best,
By saying it's best
To trade them a year too early
Than a year too late
* * *
It’s The Little Things
Well, let's all just be happy
no arod
no sheff
no juan gone
maybe no Giambi
but at least we got guys
with nice tushies
oy, vey
* * *
The Natural Pattern
Those who put down others
Offer the least in terms of intelligent discussion,
And are usually the least objective.
It's documented on every board.
Hey, maybe if management were objective like STTN,
We'd FIGHT for arod,
Force HIM to say no,
Force OLIE to say no,
And have the natural desire to OUTSPEND the yanks for GIambi
But that doesn't help as much as being happy
And goofing on others,
Why be objective?
Always, in life, ignore problems.
That's healthiest, right?
Attack, that's the natural pattern
Of the problem solvers and contributors of society,
Or in smaller sense, conversations
Go back to bed
***
Do You Want To Know A Secret
Some fans might not realize this,
as it never received a ton of press, however,
Sp has the right to promote himself at any time.
Wilpon granted him this priviledge earlier this season
* * *
Unbashable
I can bash it 'cause I never liked it lol.
Anyway, I don't doubt alex is bumming.
He realizes they have more faith this year in joe mac
as outfielder,
and he basically got a pair of teases for his dream
and now can't help his team
because he can't say he is doing his job
if he doens't hack
* * *
The Issue At Hand
Let him be more patient and fail and I'd be just fine.
Let him find some success with this method and I'd still be concerned.
Just not a good approach.
Forget alex for a second,
it's really the approach that bothers me.
* * *
1/4 2 K's Like Every Day
I'm not a big fan of 'be agressive' to say the least.
Has the k total and frustration
of not being where he felt he'd be (Shea)
getting to him, you think?
Just curious.
Time will fix the issues he has,
I was just curious.
And how did Seo look?
* * *
Cold Winter
And on top of that they are not making $ this year,
and we are hoping we can blow Giambi away
and if we don't,
we might not have a powerful offense for years,
as ajones in 2002 winter is too expensive,
we might never get vlad in 2003,
arod/bonds will be locked up,
alou/walker too old,
helton locked up.
I mean, there aren't a ton of options.
This team needs a PLAN to compete with florida.
Fans always laughed at atlanta and said "haha,
they will fall apart"
* * *
It Was Reported More Than Once
Hey, i don't make this up
It was reported more than once,
Wilpon isn't stupid enough
To let sp spend more on a season
Where, even though the fans might believe,
Mgmt isn't stupid,
Like sp said,
They cannot profit til postseason,
So just put a freeze on
Spending and reload next year.
* * *
Of That And They And Me
If that were available and they said no,
which would clear salary for giambi (Heh)
and give us a stud young left handed hitter,
my god, if we say no to that
(Not a real deal)
I'd shoot myself
* * *
To A Picklehead
I have fun
Kiss my ass if you don't like how I talk or write you picklehead,
I care less.
Now email me
you dick
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