Master Index of Archived Threads


Who's gonna take care of YOU?

A Boy Named Seo Feb 21 2011 02:18 PM

My little bro's father-in-law died this morning. No condolences, please, only met him once. Seems now my bro's mother-in-law (who's not in great health herself) will be moving to Florida to live with my bro and his wifey & 2 kids. She is wheel-chair bound, so they'll have to make some alterations to the house to accomodate her, and eventually may have to move/add-on to have enough room for everyone, if things stay on that path. My old man purchased some kind of assisted living insurance years ago. He said he doesn't want his kids to have to be bothered looking after him when he's at the stage where he'll need looking after around the clock. Fair enough. I'm not sure about my mom. If she needed the looking after & I could do it, then I would, I guess. Of course I say that now as a single dude with no kids who works 3 days a week. If my situation ever changed (i.e., if I grow up), my real-life demands might make it more difficult. Maybe, I don't know. Never really thought about this stuff. I love you, mommy!! Really, I do! Blah blah blah already. Question is, what do you want to have happen to you if you wind up in a situation where you need full-time care? Family? A 'home'? Personally, I hope I die before all that, but I guess that's not for us to choose, huh. Have you looked after a parent/in-law/other, and even taken them into your home?

TransMonk Feb 21 2011 02:25 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

My wife-to-be and I are 90% sure that we are not ever going to have kids, so that leaves very little wiggle room for us once we reach the age where we can no longer depend on each other or ourselves. I expect to live my final days in a retirement home of some sort, if I make it that long.

Benjamin Grimm Feb 21 2011 02:52 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

If I ever have to go into a nursing home, unless I have dementia and am unaware of my situation, my goal will be to be dead within a week. There's currently no legal way to issue an advance directive for a lethal injection, and I don't anticipate that there ever will be. But as I get older, I'll probably leave instructions for things like DNR and no feeding tubes. Fun topic! Can we go back to talking about Barney Miller now?

A Boy Named Seo Feb 21 2011 02:54 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

Benjamin Grimm wrote: If I ever have to go into a nursing home, unless I have dementia and am unaware of my situation, my goal will be to be dead within a week. Sure it wasn't your intention, but that made me laugh all kinds. Anyway, I'm with you, broski.

themetfairy Feb 21 2011 03:14 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

My parents faced that situation a little over a year ago. My mom is diabetic, way overweight, and cannot take care of herself, and my dad isn't able to do it at this point either. They now reside in a facility of their choosing - my mom is in the assisted care wing, and my dad has his own apartment on the other side of the facility. They have their meals prepared, but my dad has his own kitchen in case he ever wants to do any other cooking. There are lots of social events and other activities. I know that in many ways they miss having their own house, but the long and short is that it's not a bad set-up that they have. I can see doing the same thing if I ever got to the point of being unable to care for myself (although I hope to G-d I never get to that point).

metirish Feb 21 2011 04:09 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

A Boy Named Seo wrote: If my situation ever changed (i.e., if I grow up), dying over here , don't worry I won't be moving in. Feel bad for your bro , that's got to add to the stress level a whole lot. Things just got a lot tougher for him and his family. Hey Monk, congrats are in order? , you engaged, did we know? My wife and I have talked about this , in a round about way when talking about having more kids , neither of us are from here so it complicates things like this and we have talked about having more kids for many reasons but one being so Lorcan is not alone if he ever needs taking care of when he gets old. For us a tentative plan when we get old is to have a place in Puerto Rico , when it comes to assisted living I tend to agree with BG. I remember growing up and my grandfathers brother moved in with us when he got old and couldn't live alone , moved in to a three bedroom with five kids and a widowed mom.....it was a nightmare for all and eventually he had to move to a nursing home , he died not long after that.

Gwreck Feb 21 2011 04:25 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

metirish wrote: A Boy Named Seo wrote: Hey Monk, congrats are in order? , you engaged, did we know? At the risk of a thread-jack, I didn't know this either. Congrats to you and your better half!

TransMonk Feb 21 2011 04:31 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

Doh, yup...let the cat out of the bag. No biggie, we're soul mates who are eloping to Vegas in August.

themetfairy Feb 21 2011 05:16 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

TransMonk wrote: Doh, yup...let the cat out of the bag. No biggie, we're soul mates who are eloping to Vegas in August. Cool - best of luck to the two of you!

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Feb 21 2011 05:41 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

Beats eloping downtown. Nice work, friend-o.

metirish Feb 21 2011 05:44 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

I think we need to merge this thread in the members promotional forum.

A Boy Named Seo Feb 21 2011 05:48 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

Sweet deal, congrats, Monk!

seawolf17 Feb 21 2011 06:33 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

ROAD TRIP!

TransMonk Feb 21 2011 07:31 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

You're all invited to the post-elopment party in Madison in October. We're gonna have a Neil Young cover band. If this thread does get un-merged/moved, can I keep the thread title? On edit, I see it's been moved already. Thanks yous guys!

Fman99 Feb 21 2011 07:35 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

I hope to be left out in the woods for my carcass to be consumed by feral wolves. I told this once to an insurance saleslady whom Fwife had unknowingly (to me) invited into our house for a sales pitch. And yes, there was gin involved in this discussion.

Edgy DC Feb 21 2011 08:11 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

Let's all buy shares now in the Crane Pool Retirement Home. We'll drive each other cuh-razy ('cept when the Mets are on).

metsmarathon Feb 21 2011 08:47 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

Edgy DC wrote: Let's all buy shares now in the Crane Pool Retirement Home. We'll drive each other cuh-razy ('cept when the Mets are on). take your foot off the gas, we're there already.

Benjamin Grimm Feb 22 2011 04:53 AM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

Edgy DC wrote: Let's all buy shares now in the Crane Pool Retirement Home. We'll drive each other cuh-razy ('cept when the Mets are on). Good idea, but I only plan to be there for a week.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Feb 22 2011 09:11 AM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

I figure I'll be taken care of by the 20-foot tongues of flame on my Viking pre-funeral boat.

Lefty Specialist Feb 22 2011 01:45 PM Re: Who's gonna take care of YOU?

We've taken prudent steps. We've put money away, paid off the mortgage, and basically live within our means. We have a college fund for Lefty Jr. The guy who looks at our finances says that we're set for a comfortable retirement. But 30 years out, who knows? My 401k could be monopoly money by then. One or both of us could have traumatic illnesses that drain our finances. Or we could both lose our jobs and disrupt the long-term plan. You have to hope for the best. My uncle is 93, sharp as a tack and still living in his own home. He's lucky that his niece lives next door and does errands for him. He's got help through the VA and Social Security. He's got good doctors, one of which told him he had prostate cancer but said, "Relax- that won't be what kills you!" He gets around with a walker, but he actually is able to get around. We talk about the Mets and Dolphins and he's on top of it all. If I'm gonna go, that's the way I want to go out. Gracefully, dignity intact, bitching about the Mets the whole way.