Apr 08 2011 10:03 AM
What’s up with your Washington Nationals? When last we checked, they were still an organization trying to find a reason for their existence. Their opening day was a disaster, with the lowest turnout and one of only two non-sellouts in baseball. Part of it was due to the weather, part of it was due to the woeful lack of enthusiasm. (Cut here to the always-excellent Dave McKenna’s “Cheap Seats” column from Washington CityPaper for an historical perspective on the team’s opening day follies.)
They lost that game behind curious opening day starter Livan Hernandez and now sit in their familiar location at the bottom of the National League East standings, after stealing one yesterday from the Florida Marlins (two unearned runs equaling the difference, natch). They are seemingly faking at at least as many positions as you have fingers on your hand, unless perhaps, your last name is Alfonseca, or maybe if you believe that rookie catcher Wilson Ramos’s .357 batting average is anything but an illusion.
The team is batting .140 with runners in scoring position — one-four-zero, my friends — and so can little afford to shitcan their outs. Last night finding themselves in a 10th-nnng tie (thanks to the aforementioned unearned runs), secondbaseman Danny Espinosa led off with a single. Up comes Jerry Hairston, Jr., who not unlike his Metly brother, is at least a hitter twice a week. But Jim Riggleman is no less conservative than his fraternity brothers in this situation, and decides to bunt Espinosa to second. The bunt is successful. But Riggleman then goes ahead and wastes designated fat white guy Matt Stairs by pinch hitting him when you know any hitter worth half a crap is going to be walked.
Stairs gets pitched around and ends up at first. SHOCKING! Up comes the team’s leadoff hitter by default, shortstop Ian Desmond. Desmond may be good some day, has a little pop, and could work at the bottom of the lineup. But there is not a riff in the AC/DC catalog bad-assed enough to intimidate the opposition when the lineup turns over and Ian Desmond steps up to the plate.
But that’s OK. That’s OK, my friends, because something else is brewing — Espinosa has decided to steal third! He gets a breaking pitch to run on but John Buck has no problem throwing him out. Desmond files out, Stairs waddles back to the dugout, and the rally is over, with everybody trying his damndest to deny everybody else any chance to display anything remotely like batsmanship. Riggleman says that Espinosa was running on his own, but I say that that’s what the red light is for. That the Nats won in the 11th doesn’t make up for the hateful brand of baseball that got them there.
In fact, that the Mets won in the 20th will never make up for the hateful brand of baseball that got them there.
The strange fate of the Nationals is hooked to the awkward reality that the players they’ve come to define themselves by don't actually play for them. Pitcher Stephen Strasburg, number one overall pick of the 2009 draft, debuted and blew out his anterior hamfritz migoggle before three million horrified spectators, vindicating Rob Dibble’s position that he’s a pathetic nancy boy. (In fairness to Dibble, he had endorsed taking it easy on Strass in other broadcasts.) Strasburg is taken his time to try and quit chewing tobacco and it’s supposedly a tough turkey to go cold on. Catcher Bryce Harper has been moved to the outfield and is starting his pro career bunting for the Hagerstown Suns, briefly a Mets affiliate, but now a nearby member of the Nats family and probably better value for the dollar of a baseball fan in the DC area. Harper is taking his time in the minors to try and quit being an asshole.
So let’s go around the diamond, shall we?
Catcher: The transition to Jesus Flores being continually derailed by surgeries causing him to miss most of the last two years, the Nationals are returning historical figure Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez to the lineup and are attempting to instead transition to Wilson Ramos, who just sounds like a catcher. Pudge’s tangible skils are mostly gone these days. He’s a singles hitting mentor to the pitching staff and young catchers like Ramos. Wilson is a not-marginal prospect that the Flores-weary Nats grabbed in deadline deal with the Twins for closer Matt Capps. (The Twins look pretty set at catcher.) Is Ramos ready? I dunno, but he’s off to a hot start at .357.
First base: National League journeyman Adam LaRoche can be expected to fill a void adequately if underwhelmingly. He’s off to a start of slowness but hit the game winning homer last night that got Espinosa off the hook. Producing like a left-handed Zeile, he probably won’t be what sinks this team, but you don’t exactly get a shiver down your spine when you see him batting cleanup, which is where they’re sticking him.
Second base: Besides running at inopportune times, Danny Espinosa usually managed to hit in the minors. In his brief debut last year, his batting average stunk like something that died behind the wall, but he showed some pop, so he might be a threat when the weather warms up. Probably not now.
Third base: Ryan Zimmerman, David Wright’s younger brother, is off to a solid start. The Nats are feeling some pressure tie his ass up in a long-term contract. He and Wright become a free agents after 2013 when Alex Rodriguez’s contract expires. The Sox expect to be in that market also. The Mets and Nats will both be looking to lock down their hot corner marquis gentlemen. Who will move first? How huge will these deals be?
Shortstop: Ian Desmond is not a Jeff Goldbum character, but a Nationals shortstop who they hope to bring along to grow up alongside Danny Espinosa a la Trammell and Whittaker, rather than Oquendo and Giles. We’ll see. He inherited the leadoff spot from Nyjer Morgan... and it looks like he’s about to lose it to Espinosa. The Nats will probably go back and forth on that one for months before throwing their hands in the air and acquiring Juan Pierre or something. He went hitless in his first 13 appearances, and I don’t envy him. Tony LaRussa thought enough of him to bean him during a spring training beanball war so maybe he thinks the guy has a future.
Leftfield: Quadruple-A journeyman Mike Morse turned in a good half season for the Nats last year, so they’re rolling the dice that he’s for real. Maybe he’s Angel Pagan, but waiting until he’s 28 to start hitting and doing a disproportionate amount of his damage against lefties tells me he’d better off splitting time with…
Centerfield: Rick Ankiel replaces Nyjer Morgan (dumped at the end of camp for Cutter F. Dykstra) but is looking like a bench player at this point in his career. Off the juice, he’s spent the last two seasons bouncing between teams, hurt, and absolutely useless against lefties (hitting like a pitcher, to be honest). I imagine Hairston will help him against lefties. How much, I don’t know, but he needs it.
Ankiel went to Port St. Lucie High School of all places, so look for him to catch on with the Mets a little bit during his long trip into the sunset.
Rightfield: One of the two biggest recent intradivision maneuvers in the National League East (the other being Dan Uggla to Atlanta) was the Nats overpaying to land the Phillie slugger Jayson Werth. He’s a big brash lateblooming loudmouth that probably won’t return full value, but could stay healthy as he’s not expecting to be overdoing it with the victory stogies.
Strangely, the team has him batting second this year, .and that’s not what I do when I blow my offseason budget reeling in a guy who hit 27 homers and 46 (!!) doubles for a division rival last year. His first homer yesterday broke up a Josh Johnson no-hitter, hitting a rail behind the wall and bouncing back in to the field of play. Werth ended up sliding into third before being informed he had a homer. He dusted himself off and headed home. Takeaway: he’s good and he hustles.
He also hates the Phillies and doesn’t seem certain where he’s going with the hair. The beautiful beautiful hair.
Starting Pitchers:
Tonight: Jordan Zimmerman is a former opening day starter who is still pretty young and has spent his last two years rehabbing from Tommy John surgery. The day he finally made it back last season was the day the Nats announced Steven Strasberg would be taking his long slow hike through the country of Tommyjohnia. Fate is a harsh bony woman, stern and cold. Or a big smelly cigar-chomping man with deadly BO, I’m not sure.
Tomorrow: Tom Gorzelanny is a former young All Star lefty with the Pirates, not unlike Oliver Perez. And also like Perez, he has largely undone his career with periodic but extended bouts of no-controlishness. Gorzellany’s career got a subsequent boost in Chicago when Carlos Zambrano decided to rip his team in the dugout with a profanity-laced tirade. That sort of act doesn’t fly on a Lou Pinella team unless your name is Lou Pinella. So Gorzellany took over the pitching that day and stuck in the roation in Zambrano’s stead. Going 7-9 with a 4.06 ERA, he had his best season since 2006, and was traded to the Nats in the offseason for a pile of minor leaguers. He still walked four and a half guys per nine innings, and this will be a great test to see if this version of the Mets can show enough restraint to wait out a wild man.
Sunday: Jason Marquis is sort of Benson Buncher that stays healthy enough for good enough teams to win 12-15 games and hits the free agent market at the right time to rob somebody blind. The Rockies gave him $10 million for 216 innings in 2009 and were smart enough to thank him for his trouble and let the Nats give him $9 million to pitch through the ensuing bone chips. In truth, he’s a very consistent pitcher, giving you 190-210 innings, 3.3 walks per nine and five strikeouts, but every few years his arm cries out with chips or tendonitis or something, and his ERA balloons from 4.40 to six. Last year was one of those and he hopes to bounce back. Threw six innings without walking anybody in his 2011 debut.
Marquis is Jewish and hopes to represent Israel in the World Baseball Classic.
Closer: Lefty Sean Burnett takes over for Matt Capps. He came over from Pittsburgh in the Lastings Milledge/Nyjer Morgan trade. He’s been a modestly successful bullpen back-ender since failing as a starter in 2004. He’s got a good change.
Old Friends: Livan Hernandez is expected to miss this series. Alex Cora is helping out the babies in the infield. Tony Tarasco is the baserunning coordinator. Ray Knight co-hosts Nats Extra. Journeyman reserve outfielder/infielder Jerry Hairston, Jr. was loved by the same parents as Mets journeyman reserve outfielder/infielder Scott Hariston.
Old Oldies: Livan Hernandez is 36 (reportedly). Ivan Rodriguez is 39. Matt Stairs is 43!
