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Gun to your head ...

NFL Draft - Hey, it's sort of sports and at least no one will think I'm gay

11 votes

Wedding - Kate looks a helluva lot better than some tattooed 325 lb lineman

13 votes

Frayed Knot Apr 26 2011 10:49 AM

It's this coming Friday morning and you've just been kidnapped. Your captors are planning to mentally torture you but they're at least going to be nice enough to let you choose the method. So for six hours they're going to strap you into a chair and force you to watch --- a) rounds two & three of the NFL draft - where you get to watch the Commish read off six names per hour while in between a panel of draft geeks talk about what a great player and great person each pick will become even though all the big names were taken in round 1 and maybe 1/3 of these guys have some sort of criminal record. OR b) the royal wedding - where you are forced to view upper-crust pageantry passed off as populist celebration as only the British can do it while network bunnies comment on what a great spectacle it all is and endlessly praise the dress Katie is wearing

Benjamin Grimm Apr 26 2011 10:52 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Wedding. On a scale of 1 to 100, I'd say my interest in the wedding is a 3, and my interest in the NFL draft is a solid zero.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 26 2011 10:57 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Between all the scrambling "experts," the My-First-Suit brigade in the green-room, and the San-Juan-Capistrano-sparrowsesque Jet-fan booing, the NFL draft is highly underrated, unintentional-comedy-wise. Throw in the reception, and I'm going wedding. The ceremony? Christ, I can barely keep awake for ones in which I'm involved.

Rockin' Doc Apr 26 2011 10:59 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

If those are my only to options I'd rather just be working at the office. However, if there were truly a gun to my head I guess I would opt for the NFL Draft and hope that I wasn't forced to stay awake as it droned on..

themetfairy Apr 26 2011 11:04 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

If I'm on the treadmill on Friday morning, the wedding will be an entertaining distraction. You would literally have to put a gun to my head to make me watch the draft. These things bore the hell out of me.

Willets Point Apr 26 2011 11:07 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

I'll take the wedding. There's some cool architecture in London that should appear in the background at the very least.

G-Fafif Apr 26 2011 11:35 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Wedding happens only every 30 years (apparently). Draft goes on for six months.

metirish Apr 26 2011 11:48 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Gun to my head.......the Draft......oh dear but Friday is going to be hell.

metsmarathon Apr 26 2011 11:51 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

i have to watch, but do i have to listen? regardless, the wedding would be more mind-numbing, while the draft would be more mind-maddening. i've pretty much had enough of the nonsense football experts spout out day after day. i'd rather listen to royal gossip and all the who's wearing who stuff a thousand times over.

Edgy DC Apr 26 2011 11:53 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

metsmarathon wrote: regardless, the wedding would be more mind-numbing, while the draft would be more mind-maddening. I think that's what swung my vote.

seawolf17 Apr 26 2011 11:57 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

My gut was "draft," but then I thought about it, because I have no real attachment to either, but... draft.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 26 2011 11:58 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

I think it should be easy enough to ignore both events. The wedding starts at 4 a.m. East Coast time, doesn't it? I really won't have to go out of my way to not watch it.

Edgy DC Apr 26 2011 12:12 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Benjamin Grimm wrote: I think it should be easy enough to ignore both events. Not with a gun to my head!

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 26 2011 12:38 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Edgy DC wrote: metsmarathon wrote: regardless, the wedding would be more mind-numbing, while the draft would be more mind-maddening. I think that's what swung my vote. Same here, except... I'd rather be agitated than waking-comatose.

TransMonk Apr 26 2011 12:44 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

I take the draft. I watch football enough that I can act like I know what I'm talking about someday if I see one of the 2nd or 3rd rounders playing. If I'm talking about the wedding and I sound like I know what I'm talking about...well, that's not a situation I want to find myself in.

Fman99 Apr 26 2011 12:59 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Homos.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 26 2011 01:03 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Really, I think I might rather take that gun up my ass while wearing a wedding dress* than watch a Titanic-length royal wedding. *NTTAWWT, Between Licensed, Consenting Adults

Ceetar Apr 26 2011 01:18 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Willets Point wrote: I'll take the wedding. There's some cool architecture in London that should appear in the background at the very least. And infinitely more cleavage.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 26 2011 01:21 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Are you kidding? IT'S A BRITISH ROYAL WEDDING. There's more neck on display at a Jalalabad dickey outlet.

Willets Point Apr 26 2011 01:24 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Maybe if spectator has a newspaper opened to a picture of a page 3 girl.

Ceetar Apr 26 2011 01:37 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

fine, infinitely more pretty women.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 26 2011 02:03 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Again, it's a BRITISH royal wedding.

Edgy DC Apr 26 2011 02:07 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Bitchiest. Thread. Ever.

Frayed Knot Apr 26 2011 02:13 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

metsmarathon wrote: i have to watch, but do i have to listen? Oh sure. There's no way your evil oppressors are going to let you off without having the commentary drilled into your ears. What do you think this is, the Monty Python sketch where they torture you with the soft cushion?!? Only true and hardened criminals would even come up with this kind of choice in the first place. So, yeah, you absolutely have to weigh the specter of giddy so-called journalists oohing and aahing at the spectacle of it all while trying to keep secret the fact that they really wish it was them up there so they could fulfill their childhood fantasies of marrying a prince instead of waking up at 4AM for these silly morning TV jobs -- vs -- the tag team of Berman & Kiper making you wish that a real wrestling tag-team was jumping on your head rather than to hear one more mesomorphic freak analyzed to within an inch of his life.

RealityChuck Apr 26 2011 02:27 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

The wedding. I don't care much about the pageantry, but the route to the Abbey and back pretty much parallels my trip to London a few years ago, and it will be fun to see the places I was at.

metsmarathon Apr 26 2011 02:51 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

will the closed captioning be turned on or off?

Willets Point Apr 26 2011 03:08 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: Again, it's a BRITISH royal wedding. I actually find British women can be pretty hot. Maybe not the royals though.

seawolf17 Apr 26 2011 07:07 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Willets Point wrote: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: Again, it's a BRITISH royal wedding. I actually find British women can be pretty hot. Maybe not the royals though. Okay, I'm still voting draft, but seriously -- DAY-UM. I remember being stunned the first time I saw a photo of her on a Yahoo story first noting their relationship however many years ago.

Ashie62 Apr 26 2011 08:03 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

I like them both...

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 26 2011 08:35 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

She's stunning and sexy and poised somewhere on that tantalizing knife's edge between delicacy and strength. She'll be in a wedding dress, and taking part in a stultifying, lengthy ceremony.

MFS62 Apr 27 2011 08:10 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: Really, I think I might rather take that gun up my ass while wearing a wedding dress* than watch a Titanic-length royal wedding. *NTTAWWT, Between Licensed, Consenting Adults We saw the pictures of that on Youtube. You really seemed to be enjoying it, so your vote in this poll doesn't count. Later

Ceetar Apr 27 2011 08:23 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Eve Muirhead. Don't know if this counts though as she's technically Scottish. Also apparently broke a curling broom in a fit of rage.

Frayed Knot Apr 27 2011 02:20 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

btw, I've checked ESPN's schedule for the next few days: - after their usual run of 'Sportscenter' goes throughout the morning and early afternoon (and, face it, SC at this point is probably half Draft preview anyway) they come on at 3PM Thursday with 'Sportscenter Special', essentially an hour-long pre-draft show. - That takes us to 4PM when 'NFL Live' airs, their daily show about the league which may also touch on the legal wranglings going on but I'm sure will essentially be a 1/2 hour long Draft preview. - At 4:30 comes ... wait for it ... a [u:3lh6pvbd]three-1/2 hour long[/u:3lh6pvbd] 'SportsCenter Special' where nothing but more pre-analysis will take place. - That gets us to 8PM when the actual draft will start (first round only of course), an exciting offering where it will take another 3-1/2 hours (assuming it doesn't run long) to read off 32 names - They then follow with an extended version (90 minutes) of 'SportsCenter' so they can reanalyze their analysis. 'SportsCenter will then run and run again for the next 15 hours when ... they repeat the same thing: SC 'Specials', NFL Live, SC Specials, Draft (rounds two and three only). The only difference here is that they'll pick quicker and so the draft itself will only need two hours. - On Saturday, where the picks will be mostly no-names to all but the most geeky draftniks (round 4-7) they'll cover it for 8 straight hours starting at noon. What time did you say that wedding was on?

Benjamin Grimm Apr 27 2011 02:23 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

I think it's 4 a.m. Maybe I'll TiVo it, and watch it later. I'll sit on the couch with a box of chocolate and sob through the whole ceremony.

Ashie62 Apr 27 2011 05:21 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Benjamin Grimm wrote: I think it's 4 a.m. Maybe I'll TiVo it, and watch it later. I'll sit on the couch with a box of chocolate and sob through the whole ceremony. Pregame starts at 4 am, kickoff at 6.

Frayed Knot Apr 27 2011 09:08 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Ashie62 wrote: Benjamin Grimm wrote: I think it's 4 a.m. Maybe I'll TiVo it, and watch it later. I'll sit on the couch with a box of chocolate and sob through the whole ceremony. Pregame starts at 4 am, kickoff at 6. But when does Mel Kiper Jr. come on to question the Queen's choice of hats?

MFS62 Apr 27 2011 09:53 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Frayed Knot wrote: But when does Mel Kiper Jr. come on to question the Queen's choice of hats? Until he can find a better barber, he had better not question anything covering anybody's head. Later

Frayed Knot Apr 28 2011 06:46 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

That's not his hair, he's wearing a prototype for the new concussion-proof helmets the NFL is going to use next season.

Ceetar Apr 28 2011 07:16 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

50:1 odds that David Beckham is the first to cry at the royal wedding 20:1 that Haggis is the meal served. (roast beef and yorkshire pudding is thefavorite) 6:1 that a regiment guard faints on duty. 10:1 odds that Kate is more than 30 minutes late. 8:1 that they're divorced by 2020 over/under on sermon length is 6:30m

Edgy DC Apr 28 2011 07:30 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

I assume it's Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams' honor to be the celebrant and perform the marriage, right?

The Second Spitter Apr 28 2011 07:43 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Quite frankly, I'd rather eat the rotting anus of a road-kill skunk and down it with a bad beer, than watch the royal wedding. I have nothing against the Royal Family - they service a purpose. As Pommie Paul from Long Beach said (after 7 or 8 strong Margaritas): "you wouldn't catch the Queen sticking a cigar dildo up some commoner's ****, she'd do it to one of her own and nobody would here about it." What I despise is their worship as demi-gods by the British media and people. I also despise the British people in general.

Ceetar Apr 28 2011 08:39 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

The Second Spitter wrote: Quite frankly, I'd rather eat the rotting anus of a road-kill skunk and down it with a bad beer, than watch the royal wedding. I have nothing against the Royal Family - they service a purpose. As Pommie Paul from Long Beach said (after 7 or 8 strong Margaritas): "you wouldn't catch the Queen sticking a cigar dildo up some commoner's ****, she'd do it to one of her own and nobody would here about it." What I despise is their worship as demi-gods by the British media and people. I also despise the British people in general. Honestly at least they have history and story to it. Better than worshipping Paris Hilton or the kardashians.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 28 2011 09:21 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

"History and story" is a nicer way of saying "cousin intermarriage," yes? The Kennedys have much better hair and stories.

Ceetar Apr 28 2011 09:27 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: "History and story" is a nicer way of saying "cousin intermarriage," yes? The Kennedys have much better hair and stories. I imagine if there was a prominent Kennedy getting married, it'd be a pretty big deal too.

themetfairy Apr 28 2011 09:30 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Ceetar wrote: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: "History and story" is a nicer way of saying "cousin intermarriage," yes? The Kennedys have much better hair and stories. I imagine if there was a prominent Kennedy getting married, it'd be a pretty big deal too. Most American weddings endeavor to protect the participants' privacy. Chelsea Clinton's wedding was probably as big a wedding as we'll see Stateside, and that wasn't a public event the way that Royal Weddings are.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 28 2011 10:01 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Ceetar wrote: I imagine if there was a prominent Kennedy getting married, it'd be a pretty big deal too. I think we're all out of prominent Kennedys.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 28 2011 10:03 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

themetfairy wrote: Most American weddings endeavor to protect the participants' privacy. Chelsea Clinton's wedding was probably as big a wedding as we'll see Stateside, and that wasn't a public event the way that Royal Weddings are. When Jennifer Anniston married Brad Seed, that was a big deal, if I recall. I know there have been celebrity weddings where there are helicopters overhead trying to get a look at what's going on. Crazy, of course, but that's where we're at.

themetfairy Apr 28 2011 11:06 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Benjamin Grimm wrote: themetfairy wrote: Most American weddings endeavor to protect the participants' privacy. Chelsea Clinton's wedding was probably as big a wedding as we'll see Stateside, and that wasn't a public event the way that Royal Weddings are. When Jennifer Anniston married Brad Seed, that was a big deal, if I recall. I know there have been celebrity weddings where there are helicopters overhead trying to get a look at what's going on. Crazy, of course, but that's where we're at. But you don't see the couples driving down throng-lined streets, waving to the people who have been standing outside for hours just to catch a glimpse of them. It just doesn't happen here.

Vic Sage Apr 28 2011 02:00 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

The French had the common decency to behead their monarchs, not neuter them and hang them from the chandeliers as party decorations. There is no unit of measurement for the depth and breadth of my contempt of aristocracies generally, or of my disinterest in weddings of people i have no personal involvement with, so my interest in a royal wedding ....? Yes, there is history involved... and it's the bloody history of inbred monarchs and oppressive empires. Celebrate it? puhleez. Bring back the guillotine.

Willets Point Apr 28 2011 02:02 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

I don't think we have to kill them. Just declare them "commoners" and set them free to live by their own devices. In fact, it would make a great reality show.

Vic Sage Apr 28 2011 02:03 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

i'd even watch it... but i still think the show should end with somebody's head getting lopped off. I'm old-fashioned that way.

TheOldMole Apr 28 2011 02:07 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

I took the draft, but if there's head-lopping, I could change my vote. Just so long as they don't kill any innocent direwolves.

themetfairy Apr 28 2011 02:12 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Vic Sage wrote: Yes, there is history involved... and it's the bloody history of inbred monarchs and oppressive empires. Celebrate it? puhleez. Bring back the guillotine. People would get up at 4:00 am to watch that too.

metirish Apr 28 2011 02:13 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Odds are high that this debacle gets mentioned during a Mets telecast either tonight or Friday night.

Frayed Knot Apr 28 2011 02:52 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

I remember my mom and sister getting up early to watch the Chuck & Di one but that was mainly because sis was due to be married about two weeks later and, being Episcopalian (essentially the American branch of the Church of England), the ceremony part of the services were going to be very similar so they pretended like theirs was a dress rehearsal for hers. Other than that I think Diana had the longer wedding dress.

cooby Apr 28 2011 08:31 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

I am an NFL fan, and I think the draft is boring. I'm glad I'm working tomorrow morning. What time is this wedding anyhow?

cooby Apr 28 2011 08:32 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

Benjamin Grimm wrote: I think it should be easy enough to ignore both events. The wedding starts at 4 a.m. East Coast time, doesn't it? I really won't have to go out of my way to not watch it. Okay, so we can get up and see if it really happened, etc, and then get on with our day, right?

Rockin' Doc Apr 29 2011 06:46 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

If only it were that easy and we were so lucky, cooby. Unfortunately, the media will brow beat us with virtually endless replays and commentaries for the rest of the weekend.

Ashie62 Apr 29 2011 06:57 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Rockin' Doc wrote: If only it were that easy and we were so lucky, cooby. Unfortunately, the media will brow beat us with virtually endless replays and commentaries for the rest of the weekend. The draft or the wedding?

Benjamin Grimm Apr 29 2011 07:10 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

I don't watch TV news, so I haven't felt inundated by the coverage, and I probably won't see any clips of the wedding unless I click on something online, which I don't intend to do. I'll see a few still photos in the newspaper tomorrow, but that's about it.

Frayed Knot Apr 29 2011 07:13 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

At least no one here started an IWT.

Ceetar Apr 29 2011 07:16 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Ashie62 wrote: Rockin' Doc wrote: If only it were that easy and we were so lucky, cooby. Unfortunately, the media will brow beat us with virtually endless replays and commentaries for the rest of the weekend. The draft or the wedding? Well so far I don't know who the Giants drafted, but I know that the wedding commenced. For all those supposedly disinterested, there are a lot of people talking about it.

metirish Apr 29 2011 07:18 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Ceetar wrote: Ashie62 wrote: Rockin' Doc wrote: If only it were that easy and we were so lucky, cooby. Unfortunately, the media will brow beat us with virtually endless replays and commentaries for the rest of the weekend. The draft or the wedding? Well so far I don't know who the Giants drafted, but I know that the wedding commenced. For all those supposedly disinterested, there are a lot of people talking about it. the Giants drafted some guy named Prince something or other...I kid you not.

Ceetar Apr 29 2011 07:21 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

yeah, just asked my coworker draft-obsessed friend. Kinda funny they drafted a guy named Prince. really nails home the convergence in this thread. he's supposedly a good corner back and what not.

Willets Point Apr 29 2011 07:28 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Ceetar Apr 29 2011 07:32 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Willets Point wrote: I doubt he could cut it in the NFL.

Willets Point Apr 29 2011 07:37 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Oh really... [youtube:39gfpr16]JJ-MBTC7LBk[/youtube:39gfpr16] (and metfairy says that American don't have enough spectacle).

MFS62 Apr 29 2011 07:39 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

I didn't watch a single minute of the wedding stuff. But my wife was watching this morning, and when she told me there was going to be a flyover by some World War II aircraft, I'll admit it, I ran to the TV. I wasn't disappointed. It was a Spitfire and a Hurricaine fighters escorting a Lancaster bomber. No, I didn't stay to watch any more wedding stuff. Later

Rockin' Doc Apr 29 2011 07:41 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Ashie62 wrote: Rockin' Doc wrote: If only it were that easy and we were so lucky, cooby. Unfortunately, the media will brow beat us with virtually endless replays and commentaries for the rest of the weekend. The draft or the wedding? Well, I was talking about the wedding, but be true of the NFL Draft as well. The biggest difference I can see regarding the ad nauseam coverage of the events is that ESPN/ESPN2 will suck the life out of you with their nonstop coverage of the NFL draft, but they are easy enough to avoid if you desire to do so. On the other hand, the wedding will be endlessly replayed and analyzed on virtually every other network (ABC/CBS/NBC/CNN/Fox etc...) so it is much harder to avoid or ignore.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 29 2011 08:50 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Ceetar wrote: yeah, just asked my coworker draft-obsessed friend. Kinda funny they drafted a guy named Prince. really nails home the convergence in this thread. he's supposedly a good corner back and what not. Not only that, he's actual African royalty-- first son of a Nigerian tribal chief, hence "Prince."

Benjamin Grimm Apr 29 2011 08:53 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Ooooh! Maybe if I give him my Social Security Number, he'll deposit millions of dollars in my bank account!

Frayed Knot Apr 29 2011 08:19 PM Re: Gun to your head ...

OK, based on the news highlights I saw: Kate's sister = mucho caliente Ain't nobody looking like that in the NFL draft that's fer sure.

MFS62 May 01 2011 08:04 AM Re: Gun to your head ...

Glad the draft ended before the wedding coverage. When I changed stations I got to see the Royal Copulation. Later