May 19 2011 10:02 PM
Edited 6 time(s), most recently on May 20 2011 09:09 AM
The vile MFYs are like a wounded and very ugly animal, staggering [crossout]into Citi Field[/crossout] to their Death Star-like fortress in the Bronx for a three-game series against the gallant Mets.
The Yanks are 21-19, and are 4-6 in the last 10 games, coming off a shameful six-game losing streak that included a highly publicized tantrum from the over-paid, under-performing and completely chinless former catcher.
Meanwhile, our surging Mets, 21-22, have won practically every series this month and proved that they don't even have to hit decently to win. Heck, we're resting our best players on the vacation/disabled list so they're fresh for the meaningful games in September.
Now, it is true that there have been some unfortunate moments when the Mets have played the Yankees. And most of those have happened in the Bronx. The Mets have posting a 21-21 record against the Yankees over the last seven years, which you know drives Tom Verducci nuts and forces Bob Klapich to shed tears on his keyboard like, well, soft rain.
The Metsies can make a statement here, and send the Yankees into a spiral of despair. The Girardi deathwatch starts Sunday night if the Mets can take two of three.
And, after this unbiased and detailed analysis, I think it's possible:
Lineup
Shortstop
Derek Jeter, .255, 2 homers, 12 rbi
Nicknames: “Sweet Pants,” “Mrs. O'Connor”
True Yankee? The truest
Overrated/underrated: Extremely over-rated
Positives: Has more range than Yankee Hall-of-Fame shortstop Phil Rizzutto
Negatives: That's only because Rizzutto has been dead since 2007
Mets: Jose Reyes, who is NOT going to be traded
Advantage: Mets
Centerfield
Curtis Granderson, .266, 14 homers, 31 rbi
True Yankee? Nope
Overrated/underrated: Overrated. The Tigers are very happy with Austin Jackson, thank you
Positives: Spends minor league rehab assignments inspiring middle school kids, grants generous interviews with local education writers.
Negatives: Plays for the Yankees
Mets: Jason Pridie, a fine young player with surprising power and outstanding glove.
Advantage: Mets, though this one is close
First base:
Mark Teixeria, .255, 9 homers, 22 rbi
True Yankee? No
Overrated/underrated: Overrated
Positives: Five of the eight letters in his last name are vowels
Negatives: Bears a slight resemblance to Liza Minelli
Mets: Daniel Murphy. Did you see that play two years ago where the ball bounced off the bag, Murph dove and fired to the base to get the out?
Advantage: Mets
Third base:
Alex Rodriguez, .266, 8 homers, 24 rbi
True Yankee? Are you kidding?
Overrated/underrated: Overrated
Positives: Allegedly grew up rooting for the Mets
Negatives: So uncoordinated that he needs help feeding himself. Poor Cameron Diaz.
Mets: Willie Harris, who has proven to be an incredible fielder when playing New York-based teams
Advantage: Mets!!
Second base:
Robinson Cano, .287, 9 homers, 27 rbi
True Yankee? Working on it
Overrated/underrated: Used to be greatly overrated, now just overrated
Positives: Was almost traded for some decent players – offered to the Rangers for Alex Rodriguez, to the Royals for Carlos Beltran and to the Diamondbacks for Randy Johnson.
Negatives: Was named for a Fred Rogers television character. Oh, you're not buying the Jackie Robinson thing, are you?
Mets: Justin Turner. The Mets already have Beltran, and they want no part of Arod on Randy Johnson.
Advantage: Mets!
Catcher:
Russell Martin, .261, 7 homers, 22 rbi
True Yankee? Loses points for replacing TY Jorge Posada from behind the plate
Overrated/underrated: Used to be decent, now he's overrated
Positives: Russell Nathan Jeanson Coltrane Martin Jr has more names than Teixeria has consonants
Negatives: Lived in France for two years as a child, is likely to surrender.
Mets: Josh Thole, has never, ever lived in France
Advantage: Mets!
Right field:
Nick Swisher, .215, 2 homers, 15 rbi
True Yankee? He's barely a current Yankee
Overrated/underrated: Has been overrated since a decent stint with the A's
Postives: Swisher guest starred on two episodes “Better with You” and “How I Met Your Mother.”
Negatives: Appeared as himself, which is a guy who hit .219 for the White Sox and was booed even louder than Derek Jeter when I saw the game last year.
Mets: Carlos Beltran, who has hit more homers in one game this year than Swisher has hit all season
Advantage: Mets!
Left field:
Brett Gardner, .261, 7 homers, 22 rbi
True Yankee: Not likely
Overrated/underrated: Who? Not rated at all.
Positives: Has a higher average, more homers and more rbi than Derek Jeter
Negatives: Despite this, he was punted out of the leadoff spot in favor of Jeter, and was banished to the bottom of the order.
Mets: Jason Bay, who had a big sac fly against the Nationals this week!
Advantage: Mets!!!
Rotation:
Game 1: RA Dickey, 1-5, 5.08 vs TBA
Game 2: Chris Capuano, 3-4, 4.78 vs TBA
Game 3: Mike Pelfrey, 3-3, 5.11 vs TBA
What the hell? The Yankees are so afraid of the Mets' Trio of Terror that they refuse to post their probables. CC Sabathia pitched against the Orioles on Thursday, and Bartolo Colon on Wednesday.
Advantage: Mets!
Closer:
Mariano Rivera: 13 saves, 3 blown saves, 1.80 ERA
Francisco Rodriguez: 14 saves, 1 blown save, 0.83 ERA
Oh, sure. Frankie has been known to punch an occasional relative. But Rivera, well, we won't go there. And he's a cyborg. Frankie shows some emotion, at least.
Advantage: Mets!
