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What do you do?

Edgy DC May 17 2011 05:19 AM

Edgy DC is committed to the delivery of mission-critical products and services. If that means offering leveraging technologies in a multi-platform enviromenment for a more robust user experience, that's what it'll have to be. 'Cuz I'm agile. What's the deal with you, corporate buzzword-wise?

John Cougar Lunchbucket May 17 2011 07:04 AM Re: What do you do?

I monitor, aggregate, investigate and disclose industry-specific financial and strategic content in multiple platforms.

Edgy DC May 17 2011 07:14 AM Re: What do you do?

You're on multiple platforms, too? It's amazing we don't run into each other more often. I pretty much was on three or four platforms before breakfast.

TransMonk May 17 2011 07:24 AM Re: What do you do?

I manage a bevy of employees who facilitate front-line staff in making dreams come true for members of our cooperative. Occasionally, I manage projects for new initiatives designed to promote growth and stability for said members and cooperative.

John Cougar Lunchbucket May 17 2011 07:26 AM Re: What do you do?

I too promote growth. Deliverable on multiple platforms natch.

Benjamin Grimm May 17 2011 07:26 AM Re: What do you do?

I provide value-added solutions for corporate systems.

metirish May 17 2011 07:26 AM Re: What do you do?

I provide a range of services to adult/pediatric pulmonary and cardiac patients at two separate locations in a Level I Trauma Center in Westchester County.

Ceetar May 17 2011 07:52 AM Re: What do you do?

I'm a code-monkey. The language I work in is defunct, originally Borland, bought by Corel, copyright 1996-2003, the 'help' link in the menu give a 404 error.

John Cougar Lunchbucket May 17 2011 07:53 AM Re: What do you do?

Pretty sure the point of this thread is to describe your job using so much bullshit corporate jargon that you can't distinguish it from anyone else's job.

Chad Ochoseis May 17 2011 08:01 AM Re: What do you do?

I dialogue with your organization's C-level financial executives and provide insights that will enable your team to position itself as a thought leader in the industry. Also, I spend a lot of time diddling around with Excel spreadsheets.

Benjamin Grimm May 17 2011 08:07 AM Re: What do you do?

Ceetar wrote: I'm a code-monkey. The language I work in is defunct, originally Borland, bought by Corel, copyright 1996-2003, the 'help' link in the menu give a 404 error. Delphi?

Ceetar May 17 2011 08:19 AM Re: What do you do?

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ceetar wrote: I'm a code-monkey. The language I work in is defunct, originally Borland, bought by Corel, copyright 1996-2003, the 'help' link in the menu give a 404 error. Delphi? Paradox. My company's so old-fashioned i'm not even sure they do the whole corporate jargon thing.

metsmarathon May 17 2011 08:47 AM Re: What do you do?

i execute and manage integrated life cycle engineering processes required for the research, development, production, field support and demilitarization of munitions, weapons, fire control and associated items in direct support of our mission to get the right technology to the right place, at the right time for the warfighter.

Edgy DC May 17 2011 09:31 AM Re: What do you do?

Ooooh, field support. That's a first.

metsmarathon May 17 2011 09:39 AM Re: What do you do?

personally, i've been more in the execute and manage... development and production... of munitions... but other duties and opportunities can always crop up.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr May 17 2011 10:10 AM Re: What do you do?

Manage a diverse team of paid and unpaid workers that provides flexible, around-the-clock, multiplatform-integrative support for our in-field client services staff in a variety of emergency-management-related contexts, as well as supplying information and referral services to our client base and ongoing dynamic support to peripheral departments within our international nonprofit humanitarian organization.

Fman99 May 17 2011 11:53 AM Re: What do you do?

Fman99 is responsible for providing complex networking solutions that include highly secure and dynamic networks on an enterprise basis. Analyzes business needs; designs, installs, and supports network solutions on one or multiple platforms in a LAN/WAN/MAN or Web Architecture. Utilizes expertise in creating network and enterprise-wide solutions. I also make cock jokes.

Ashie62 May 17 2011 12:05 PM Re: What do you do?

Ashie is a self starter who can multitask on multiple platforms to increase corporate profitabilty and help to limit corporate liabilty.

dgwphotography May 17 2011 12:45 PM Re: What do you do?

I'm a code-monkey who is allergic to bullshit corporate jargon.

Edgy DC May 17 2011 12:48 PM Re: What do you do?

Hah. Bet he only works on a single platform.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr May 17 2011 01:07 PM Re: What do you do?

dgwphotography wrote: I'm a code-monkey who is allergic to bullshit corporate jargon. Now, I'm not trying to come down on you, but that's just workplace-inappropriate. How would you feel about a recommended daylong employee-self-development session?

themetfairy May 17 2011 02:49 PM Re: What do you do?

I'm the air traffic controller that keeps a complex organization on track. I make sure everyone is where he needs to be at every given time, without lapses or collisions.

Benjamin Grimm May 17 2011 02:51 PM Re: What do you do?

I am music, and I write the songs.

Fman99 May 17 2011 03:11 PM Re: What do you do?

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: How would you feel about a recommended daylong employee-self-development session? Which hand should I use for this?

metsguyinmichigan May 17 2011 03:36 PM Re: What do you do?

I'm a "content creater." And, according to a reader this week, "oblivious and apparently retarded." I don't think he liked the story.

Ashie62 May 17 2011 04:52 PM Re: What do you do?

Benjamin Grimm wrote: I am music, and I write the songs. Barry Grimm?

Edgy DC May 17 2011 05:52 PM Re: What do you do?

Yeah, sorry about that comment. I was working out of pocket and was trying to think out of the box about how to incentivize your perfomance

Chad Ochoseis May 17 2011 06:49 PM Re: What do you do?

Rockin' Doc May 17 2011 06:55 PM Re: What do you do?

I offer value added services to the visually deficient multitudes in order to improve their overall quality of life by helping them see the big picture through individualized, customer focused sensory enhancement at a minimal out of pocket.

MFS62 May 17 2011 09:30 PM Re: What do you do?

I work with our VIP* customers to help them achieve whatever their numismatic collecting objectives are. Later *VIP = Anyone with a measurable pulse rate and a lot of room on their credit cards. (Not necessarily in that order)

The Second Spitter May 17 2011 11:53 PM Re: What do you do?

Edgy DC is committed to the delivery of mission-critical products and services. If that means offering leveraging technologies in a multi-platform enviromenment for a more robust user experience, that's what it'll have to be. 'Cuz I'm agile. What's the deal with you, corporate buzzword-wise? Reminds me of the time Mo Vaughn promised he'd trim down after the 02 season. When he rocked up to 03 ST looking like he spent the winter living in a beer and donut factory , the first question he's asked: "How's the weight-loss regime going, Mo?" To which he retorted: "I've been focusing on my agility" .

Vic Sage May 18 2011 09:10 AM Re: What do you do?

What does a man do...? Emma Goldman: "What does a man do when before his eyes, he sees the vision of a new hope dawning for his toiling, agonizing brothers? What does a man do, when at last he realizes that his suffering is caused NOT by the cruelty of fate, but by the injustice of his fellow human beings? What does a man do when he sees those dear to him starving, when he himself is starved? What does he do? What does he do? WHAT DOES HE DO...?" [sound of whistles, shouts, curses, chairs being turned over.] - ASSASSINS by John Weidman & Stephen Sondheim