Master Index of Archived Threads


So, You're Ralph Kiner

1. Nancy Chafee

0 votes

2. Janet Leigh

2 votes

3. Ava Gardner.

8 votes

4. Marilyn Monroe.

0 votes

5. Jane Russell

3 votes

6. Liz Taylor.

1 votes

7. Esther Williams

2 votes

Edgy DC May 31 2011 02:57 PM

Yes, you are Ralph Kiner, barrell-bellied and cigar-breathed, but nonetheless handsome enough, connected enough, conquering-jock enough to get at least passing attention from the great female stars of your age. You are a force to be reckoned with, and not just to Ewell Blackwell either. Let's assume this was more than passing attention, that each of these damsels was looking to do more than step out for a photo-op date, but indeed was a serious marriage prospect for young Ralph (which is you, as you should know by now). Which choice do you make? 1. Nancy Chafee 2. Janet Leigh 3. Ava Gardner. 4. Marilyn Monroe. 5. Jane Russell 6. Liz Taylor. 7. Esther Williams

TransMonk May 31 2011 03:00 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

Ava Gardner. I was surprised at how close it wasn't...given all of the marquee names.

Benjamin Grimm May 31 2011 03:28 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

I didn't even have to look at the photos. Ava Gardner. Mrrrrow.

metsguyinmichigan May 31 2011 03:55 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

It was good to be Ralph. But imagine the Malaprop opportunities during the dates!

Edgy DC May 31 2011 05:21 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

TransMonk wrote: Ava Gardner. I was surprised at how close it wasn't...given all of the marquee names. In addition to buxomicity, Hollywood in the fifties seemed to favor the pre-Raphelite strong jaw type, in less demand now, it would seem. I didn't do Ms. Leight too many favors, giving her profiles in both shots.

Edgy DC May 31 2011 05:33 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

Ms. Williams also gets short shrift: I think when all is said and done, Ralph Kiner's trail of broken hearts is going to be longer than anyone ever imagined: Stella Stevens, Eartha Kitt, Jayne Mansfield, Shirley Temple-Not-Quite-Yet-Black, Diana Rigg, Maureen Connolly, Grace Kelly, Wilma Rudolf, Natalie Wood, Eva Marie Saint, Bettie White, Betty Rubble, Rubee Dee, the Dionne Quintuplets. It'll turn out that they had a club where they met, cried over Ralph's indifference, and ate chocolate covered strawberries.

batmagadanleadoff May 31 2011 06:20 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

More Ava pics, please.

dgwphotography May 31 2011 06:22 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

Benjamin Grimm wrote: I didn't even have to look at the photos. Ava Gardner. Mrrrrow. This. Benjamin Grimm wrote: I didn't even have to look at the photos. Ava Gardner. Mrrrrow. This again... Benjamin Grimm wrote: I didn't even have to look at the photos. Ava Gardner. Mrrrrow. Did I say this?

Willets Point May 31 2011 06:52 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

Hey, Esther Williams is a girl with good strong lungs.

metirish May 31 2011 06:54 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

gonna give some love to Jane Russell.

Fman99 May 31 2011 08:21 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

Fmeat's wondering why he can't check all of the boxes. Duh. When you go to the Chinese buffet, you don't have to choose just one entree. You pile them up on the fucking plate.

Fman99 May 31 2011 08:24 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

Now, if you're asking Fmeat which one he'd pop FIRST, well, now that's answerable. I'm taking Jane Russell in the haystacks for $1000, Alex. (You know, they're more likely to let you do animal stuff to them in the barn. I think there was a study done on that at Stanford or U of Iowa or something).

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr May 31 2011 09:13 PM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

Always been a Janet Leigh fan. Monroe's Monroe, and Ava's Ava. Jane Russell... reclines beautifully. But where all of these ladies no doubt left their psychic mark with ex-paramours, Ava seemed to leave scars. That hints pretty heavily at something... extra.

HahnSolo Jun 01 2011 08:16 AM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

Ava all the way. I still chuckle when I remember back to the 80s, and John Travolta stopped in the booth to promote the movie 'Perfect'. Ralph: "You and I have something in common John. You made a movie with Jamie Lee Curtis and I dated her mother!"

Frayed Knot Jun 01 2011 08:20 AM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

HahnSolo wrote: Ava all the way. I still chuckle when I remember back to the 80s, and John Travolta stopped in the booth to promote the movie 'Perfect'. Ralph: "You and I have something in common John. You made a movie with Jamie Lee Curtis and I dated her mother!" I remember that. Young and still studly JT seemed to be mighty impressed with Ralph at that point - either that or just confused as he probably had little idea who Ralph is/was and how this old man sitting next to him could possibly be dating starlets back in the day.

MFS62 Jun 01 2011 08:22 AM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

I'd like to check out Esther Williams' gills. That was the decision maker for me. Later

themetfairy Jun 01 2011 08:22 AM Re: So, You're Ralph Kiner

I enjoy the fact that the standards of beauty for these women didn't require stick-figure thinness. They're obviously not fat, but they're not emaciated either.