Sep 09 2011 08:01 AM
Our own Mets Guy in Michigan recently posted at Facebook this handsome shot of his boyish self getting the title page of Pat Benatar's biography autographed by the diminutive authoress herself.
While saluting him for keeping his realative cool around a celebrity of his yoot, I had to point out that, well, Between a Heart and a Rock Place was just a terrible terrible title. For one, it fails to reference any of her signature work, not hitting the consumer with that subliminal message of "you like the song, you'll like the book!" A variation on a song or album title also tells the reader "thank you for liking my old crap, and I like you for liking it, no I'm not sick of that song at all, why do you ask?" Her title also lacks some real reference to struggle and triumph that are the meat of memoirs by artists who are no longer charting. And to top it off, it seems to reference the band Heart, leaving me wondering, did Pat Benatar have a bitter rivalry with Ann Wilson that I somehow knew nothing about, despite it being so big that it's the central theme of her memoir?
I started scribbling down other titles, because I secretly hope to become a full-time editor of disposeable rock bios of eighties artists.
5. Love Is a Battlefield
4. Tales from the Battlefield
3. My Best Shot
2. Promises in the Dark
1. I Belong
She's pretty much got three signature songs --- "Hit Me with Your Best Shot," "Love Is a Battlefield," and "Heartbreaker" --- and that's more than most, but many of her other lesser hits have titles that scream for adaptation, because they speak of romantic betrayal and triumph. Treat Me Right, Precious Time, and Sex as a Weapon all promise tales of tittilating times and/or spiritual renewal within, and if you delve beyond album and song titles into the lyrics themselves, well, who wouldn't buy a book called Notches in My Lipstick Case? But as I thought about it, because think about it I do, I fell more deeply in love with I Belong. It may be referencing a lesser hit, but it pretty much lays out a perfect outline of being exploited, exploiting, debauchery, self-hatred, and self-acceptance. I'd greenlight it on the title alone.
Anyhow, here's the deal. I name an artist, you come up with a memoir title, and maybe a subtitle and a cover shot, before naming another artist for the next poster. Say I say "Bryan Adams." You respond with something like Waking Up the Neighbors: How I Made Canada Cool, except, you know, better.
I'll open with... Daryl Hall.
