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Headlines I Don't Expect to See

Edgy DC Nov 10 2005 09:02 AM

Or not.

Centerfield Nov 10 2005 11:27 AM

Where did the headlines go?

Edgy DC Nov 10 2005 11:34 AM

I deleted them. I didn't like them. Thought I aced the entire thread.

Centerfield Nov 10 2005 11:35 AM

I liked them. I was going to work on some of my own during lunch. But feel free to ace away if you please.

Edgy DC Nov 10 2005 11:36 AM

You go.

Centerfield Nov 10 2005 11:52 AM

MANNY RAMIREZ PERFECTLY HAPPY WITH CURRENT SITUATION Says existing contract pays him "Plenty enough to get by" MICHAEL KAY MAKES INSIGHTFUL, RELEVANT POINT Announcer can see much more clearly after removing head from anus SHINGO TAKATSU TESTS POSITIVE FOR STEROIDS Selig: Reliever won't be reprimanded because "he has no muscles anyway." KNICKS WIN Larry Brown cites outscoring other team as key to victory

Valadius Nov 10 2005 04:39 PM

DEVIL RAYS HIRE ART HOWE Former Mets manager to earn $6 million over 4 years

Nymr83 Nov 10 2005 05:11 PM

SORIA-NO! Mets turn down Texas offer, cite concerns of defense, road stats

martin Nov 10 2005 06:17 PM

Gerald "ice" Williams commended for modern pants-wearing style! "i dunno, i just like em loose", says Williams.

KC Nov 10 2005 07:13 PM

Willie Laughs Off Wee Small Balls Internet Quotes Claims above average testicles. Plans to meet with Crane Fool Assclowns before the holidays.

Rotblatt Nov 11 2005 08:23 AM

HEILMAN CREDITS 2005 RESURGANCE TO "HEART-TO-HEART" WITH DAVID WELLS "He told me I wasn't drinking enough," says Heilman, "And he was right!"

TheOldMole Nov 11 2005 08:28 AM

This is great stuff. Glad you left the thread up, Edgy.

ABG Nov 11 2005 08:30 AM

METS TRADE WRIGHT FOR SORIANO Bush Impeached.

Elster88 Nov 11 2005 09:06 AM

="Centerfield"] KNICKS WIN Larry Brown cites outscoring other team as key to victory This made me laugh hard.

Johnny Dickshot Nov 11 2005 09:12 AM

METS COMPLETE SUBWAY SWEEP Randolph-Mazzilli Swap Continues to Pay Dividends

Benjamin Grimm Nov 11 2005 09:20 AM

Yanks, Hello Kitty ink licensing deal Cute cartoon feline to replace famed NY logo on Bombers' caps and unis.

KC Nov 11 2005 09:47 AM

No Terrell Owens News to Report He and legal team oddly silent for entire day, shares in Walt Disney down 6%

MFS62 Nov 11 2005 09:56 AM

Rey Ordonez Signs With Mets Says he will accept a move to second base. Later

OlerudOwned Nov 11 2005 10:08 AM

HI-TOP FADE MAKING COMEBACK Jose Offerman cited as "pioneer in retro-style"

Edgy DC Nov 11 2005 10:09 AM

Mets, Edgy Talk Trade Team Ponders Value of Old Henry Rollins Boxed Set Fan Asking for Top Prospects Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Nutcase. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Aaron blah-blah. Blah-blah bliddy. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, Soler, Milledge, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Stupid-head. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Mets blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Carlos Gomez. Blah, blah. Ha bloody ha. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Tyler Freaking Davidson. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Posssible drug use. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah. Blah. Blah, blah, blibbidy blah-blah-blah.

OlerudOwned Nov 11 2005 10:11 AM

Worth Petit and Diaz, IMO

Centerfield Nov 11 2005 10:15 AM

And to think you almost zapped this thread. Btw, re-post your originals. I liked the one about the booing.

Edgy DC Nov 11 2005 10:29 AM

Struggling Athlete Credits Fan Booing, Harassment in Rebound "Subtle racism, character attacks inspired me and turned my season around!" "Inspiring" fans offer Indepedence Day treat to struggling athlete. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah. Blah bloozy blah-blah. Blitty titty blah-blah-blah.

seawolf17 Nov 11 2005 10:46 AM

Edgy, it looks like Jon Heyman wrote that article!

Edgy DC Nov 11 2005 11:08 AM

Notice how that booing section is all tan young women with highlights in their hair, plus KC in the foreground.

Willets Point Nov 11 2005 01:53 PM

WILLETS POINT WINS SONG PARODY CONTEST VICTORIOUS SATIRIZER CELEBRATES WITH 7 FIGURE ENDORSEMENT DEALS

Benjamin Grimm Nov 11 2005 01:58 PM

I think Willets rope-a-dopes as much as I do.

SI Metman Nov 11 2005 02:02 PM

Scott Who? Mets pitcher Victor Zambrano unanimously wins NL Cy Young Blast Off Mets sign Roger Clemens to a 1 year deal

Zvon Nov 11 2005 03:56 PM

classic thread! BOUNTYFUL BELTRAN Slugger Carlos Beltran says he will recompensate the Mets 17% of his base salary for lack of slugging.

TheOldMole Nov 11 2005 05:17 PM

WILLETS POINT WINS SONG PARODY CONTEST In a gesture of amazing magnanimity, adnits Old Mole should have won all along, and relinquishes crown

Nymr83 Nov 11 2005 06:53 PM

Salamander Q returns to Crane Pool Forum renounces statistics as evil, embraces players who provide "veteran presense" and can't hit.

OlerudOwned Nov 12 2005 12:34 PM

OMAR MINAYA FACED WITH WORKPLACE BIAS CHARGES Hispanic employees complain of lack of fair job opportunities

Nymr83 Nov 13 2005 12:54 AM

LMAO...how about... Minaya signs white/black/asian/non-hispanic free agent. pedro upset about clubhouse diversity ...before we actually start that discussion again i'll just say that the 3 best FAs last year happened to be hispasnic, omar got 2 of them, and its all coincidence so lets just leave it be.. (unless he goes out and trades david wright for a hispanic 3B in which case the rumors will be provwen true and omar will have a bullseye on him from met fans everywhere)

Edgy DC Nov 16 2005 06:33 PM

Episcopal Bishop Dedicates Two Vince Coleman Windows at St. John the Devine

SI Metman Nov 16 2005 06:59 PM

Mets name Mike Cameron Opening Day centerfielder Carlos Beltran named Red Sox OD Leftfielder

Edgy DC Nov 16 2005 07:04 PM

As the trade is conditional on the Padre's examining Cammie's vision, this deal may yet hit a snag before consummation.