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Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

1. Captain Cupcake

3 votes

2. Chauncie the Chocodile

1 votes

3. Chief Big Wheels

4 votes

4. Fruit Pie the Magician

1 votes

5. Happy Ho Ho

0 votes

6. King Ding Dong

0 votes

7. Twinkie the Kid

3 votes

Edgy DC Nov 10 2011 08:46 PM

You're in trouble. You and your rambunctious friends have let curiosity get the best of you and now you're in a real pickle. You know the sort of pickle. Bandits have trapped you in an old mine. A shadowy clown figure has locked you in an abandoned amusement park. Your mountain pass has been washed away and the mountain goats are angry. Buccaneers are looting the bakery and have taken you hostage after you've stumbled on their evil schemes. One of you has a phone, but it's a pay-as-you-go type of thing, and there's only enough money for two calls. Eight names are are speed-dial, and you quickly punch in the most obvious hero, but Mr. Met isn't picking up. You have one last chance. Which anthropomorphic snack cake guy do you call? # Name Apparent Occupation Slickest Fashion Statement Photo 1. Captain Cupcake Sea Commander Shoulder Boards 2. Chauncie the Chocodile Aquatic Reptile Pince-Nez 3. Chief Big Wheels Tribal Leader Resplendent Headdress 4. Fruit Pie the Magician Necromancer Spats 5. Happy Ho Ho Merry Woodsman Utility Bags 6. King Ding Dong Monarch Pantaloons 7. Twinkie the Kid Rustler Cross-Stitch Boots

Kong76 Nov 10 2011 08:52 PM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

Chocodiles were pretty yummy.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Nov 10 2011 08:55 PM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

Chief Big Wheels with the requisite Gigantic Indian Nose.

Edgy DC Nov 10 2011 09:04 PM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

Kong76 wrote: Chocodiles were pretty yummy. Yeah, but Chancey was something of an interloper. Seemed like a latecomer to the Hostess character pantheon and... what's so heroic about a crocodile anyhow?

MFS62 Nov 10 2011 09:36 PM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

In a tough situation, all those chocolate guys melt under pressure. I'm going for Twinkie the Kid. Later

HahnSolo Nov 11 2011 06:36 AM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

I would hope that Fruit Pie the Magician would have something up his sleeve.

Ceetar Nov 11 2011 06:52 AM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

no Mr. Peanut? Not that I'd call the guy, he's nuts.

seawolf17 Nov 11 2011 07:21 AM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

This place is so fucking weird sometimes. That said, those chocolate cupcakes are INCREDIBLE.

Edgy DC Nov 11 2011 07:22 AM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

I went with Fruit Pie. It strikes me that his wand is the only weapon any of them have. I tend to think of Twinkie the Kid having a lariat at his hip, but there's none in that illustration. I guess King Ding Dong could bonk people with his scepter, but I don't think evildoers and snack-hoarders would be particularly intimidated by that. FP was something of a bumbler of a magician, but magic is magic and nobody wants to mess with a guy who knows how to use it, even if his main spell is making delicious Hostess Fruit Pies appear out of nowhere, floating in the air, in cocky defiance of the laws of physics. He appeared on the packaging for 30 years --- through 2006, waiving his wand over the tasty pie's titular fruit in an apparent magical benediction. Or maybe he was transmogrifying the piece of fruit into it's most perfect form, that scrumptious form found right inside the wax paper package, yours for a mere $.50. If you were lucky, you could still find the leftovers with his image floating around convenience store shelves in 2007. I think Twinkie the Kid (TtK) is the only one not yet retired. He's the Nolan Ryan of anthropomorphic snack cakes.

TransMonk Nov 11 2011 07:40 AM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

Twinkie the Kid...and I would not hesitate.

MFS62 Nov 11 2011 08:12 AM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

How predictable was it that our self- proclaimed Gay Icon would pick Fruit Pie? LOL! Later

Fman99 Nov 11 2011 10:41 AM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

I want Chief Big Wheels because I assume he also carries some sort of hatchet with him. Bonus points to Twink, Happy Ho-Ho and Fruit Pie the Magician, though, for looking particularly cock-like.

Edgy DC Nov 11 2011 11:10 AM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

Captain Cupcake, King Ho Ho, and the Chief somehow have pants that just include the leg parts and not the girdle parts. You know, I said that only Hostess guys were in the phone, but you don't need a phone to call the Kool-Aid guy. Just shout his name and he takes out a wall.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Nov 12 2011 06:25 PM Re: Anthropomorophic Snack Cakes

I'd go Fruit Pie, but I'd rather not truck with the black arts. If Chief Big Wheel doesn't roll deep, I'm taking the nigh-indestructable Twinkie.