Jan 22 2012 11:47 AM
Re: Our Kids Adventures in Sports
I can't tell you what to buy. But the key to it all is the manly eroticism of breaking in a glove. It's one of the great rites of passage between father and son. The key is to use it to impress on him that all mystic knowledge will come from you --- in ritual, in example, or in furious tirades:
There are many related techniques, and the internet may tell you many. The Edgy DC family technique went something like:
[list=1][*]Slather the inside face of the glove in [url]neatsfoot oil --- common household product 125 years ago, but now in existence merely for this purpose.
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[*]Apply the same to the outside face of the glove, but less liberally.
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[*]Leave in the sun, perhaps in a window, overnight.
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[*]The next day, bury a baseball in the lower webbing of the glove --- the pocket, just above where it it hits the palm. Grind it in deep. Squeeze the glove around it as you do. It's almost painful how hard it is to close at this point. But it's good pain.
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[*]Place a second and third baseball in the upper webbing and in the palm or heel of the glove. A children's glove --- especially one for child as young as Lorcan --- won't be able to fit these, but if you might want to add smaller balls in here. A tennis ball, a handball, or a spaldeen. Even a superball. Just to be complete with the ritual.
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[*]Close your glove tightly like a burrito around these three balls.
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[*]Wrap the glove shut in this position, closing the corner on the pinky side over the corner on the thumb side, Oil the outside again a little.
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[*]Using twine or string or a belt --- something organic and manly --- tie it up securely in this wrapped condition. It should have almost a football shape at this point.
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[*]Ritualize this to full extent. Tell the kid some booshit about how John J. McGraw himself introduced this technique to all of American baseball. And he learned it from his grandfather in Ireland.
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[*]Leave it again to dry in the sun during the day.
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[*]During the night, tell the boy to place the glove under his pillow. If you're doing one for yourself, do the same. This has about 4% practical value and 96% mystical value, but it's good stuff. If the glove is still oily wet (and it likely is), you'll want to place it in a plastic bag or something or your wife might kill you.
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[*]The next day open it up and play some catch, it'll still be awkward, but your hand will close more. Give it 50 throws, and the glove should start getting the memory of your hand.
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[*]Do these 50-catch sessions two or three times a week for three weeks, and encourage your son to abuse his and your gloves in between sessions. Wear them around, throw them like footballs. Toss 'em in the toy chest. More use --- and even abuse --- leads to more softening.[/*:m][/list:o]
Otherewise, visit the website of whatever brand you get. Rawlings and Spalding are the most old-school American brands. Mizuno makes a lot of tricked out models for kids. There's no shame in that, since he'll be outgrowing this in a few years, but in my house, plainer was manlier.
'You gotta problem with me making the Blue Team...?'
