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Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (5)

Edgy DC

7 votes

LWFS

11 votes

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Mar 01 2012 10:17 AM Edited 10 time(s), most recently on Mar 05 2012 10:08 PM

What an Omar trade? Tried to fix that broken, leaky pen Only took Endy and a dozen men Joy? T'was short-lived Once we saw Putz and this shmuck, came with 'im Dude throws-- you throw up Lead's good as blown up His rubber arm, it shames the rubber (fucking Sean Green) More free passes than the MTAyyy? And though Scott Spiezio may get a bo-ner...?? He's not THAT Shawn Green He's the Other Sean Green He's the walking, talking walk machine Though Shawn's past his prime At least he HAD a prime? THIS loan's sub-prime Yes, he's THAT Sean Green (Scrub-MArine!) See, this windup hee-re? Though he throws a bit like Terry Leach His delivery’s a lot more breech This pube chin is (Phils merkin) no Jeff Innis (not workin') More vile, man? He made me miss Heilman (fucking HEIL-man) Still, you can trust him with your cute prom daaaate She'll never walk home safer... He's not THAT Shawn Green Late of the All-Star scene Not one moyel ever touched HIS peen? But his arm slot? (Who knows?) As a submarine goes He's a Blimpie God, he's THAT Sean Green?? (Ball one, fastball low and away) (Ball two, fastball high and away) (Ball three, perhaps try to pray to...) Can't even throw straight to Rac-ia-nel-lo... GOD, Sean Green? It's trying, Sean Green Each follow-through threatens... an ugly knuckle-scrape Each inning's an eyebrow-rape, tattooed on my brain T'would hurt e'en more if the other guys could play... Not THAT Shawn Green Slumpy, jumpy Sean Green Was it too much pre-warm-up caffeine? Come out of that dip, maybe you'll crack that WHIP Have you tried... overhand-ing? [youtube:2sek43ol]oc-P8oDuS0Q[/youtube:2sek43ol]

Edgy MD Mar 01 2012 10:50 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Ron Herbel in seventy, I was a Mettie Had sauce on all my pitches but my bat was spaghetti Swinging at the fastballs, staring at the cuveballs My average was so small that it wasn't there at all Killed the rallies — my batting was brutal They sent me up there flailin', but brother, it was futile A good afternoon, I go oh for three See a couple pitches, I return to my seat You put me in the game, you’re insane to complain That I wear the word “Mets” like a stain on my shirt I’m the worst hitting pitcher you ever saw breathe I was a punchless revelation with the logo on my sleeve So save your cheers for a batter with a spark I’m draining all the power in the whole ballpark (Yo, cut it) ¡Soy mal bateador! I'm a whiffer, Baby! So why do you hit me? (Double barrel suckshot) ¡Soy mal bateador! I'm a whiffer, Baby! So why don’t you sit me? Oh-for-54 — it’s a record that’s nightmare I made Pedro and Leiter look like Reyes and Wright; There… Will never be more of an offensive drag Got nothing in my pole, and I never reach the bag Batted oh-two-nine — my career was a hackjob I pitched OK, but bat was made of corn cob Have yourself a cold one when I’m bending my wing And then empty all your bladders when it’s time for me to swing If you don’t suck eggs, then you can't relate Take a swing, take a seat, thank the fans for the hate My bat is a rotten log eaten by a termite That's chokin' on the splinters ¡Soy mal bateador! I'm a whiffer, Baby! So why do you hit me? (Watch a sucker whiff kids) ¡Soy mal bateador! I'm a whiffer, Baby! So why don’t you sit me? Yo, bring it on down (I'm a swinger, I'm a misser Things are gonna change, I can feel it) ¡Soy mal bateador! I'm a whiffer, Baby! So why do you hit me? (I can't deceive you) ¡Soy mal bateador! I'm a whiffer, Baby! So why do you hit me? ¡Soy mal bateador! I'm a whiffer, Baby! So why don’t you sit me? (Sprechen sie Suck, baby?) ¡Soy mal bateador! I'm a whiffer, Baby So why do you hit me? (Know what I'm sayin'?) [youtube]YgSPaXgAdzE[/youtube]

TransMonk Mar 01 2012 10:52 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

And the semis don't disappoint. Can I get a poll up in heya?

themetfairy Mar 01 2012 11:16 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Well done gentlemen!

Edgy MD Mar 01 2012 11:20 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

It's like he picked a tune from my collection and I one from his.

G-Fafif Mar 01 2012 11:24 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Herbel was a Met in 1970, never for Stengel (and never batted as a Met)...so am I missing something here?

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 01 2012 11:25 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Nice work, both. LWFS is going to get my vote for tapping into my hatred of the Sean Green Trade. It was shirley one of the major things that went wrong in that horrid post '08 season that sort of soured me on the Mets ever since. And Green showed his colors early, refusing the No. 48 assignment because the rotten fans who supported such dumb moves were piloting the Shea wrecking ball, or whatever. F You, Sean Green.

Edgy MD Mar 01 2012 11:29 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

G-Fafif wrote: Herbel was a Met in 1970, never for Stengel (and never batted as a Met)...so am I missing something here? No, I put up a pre-edited version of my thing. Suck me. I'll edit.

Edgy MD Mar 01 2012 11:31 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

And so I brace for the brutal beatdown.

G-Fafif Mar 01 2012 11:32 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Would have accepted "literary license," too, but your historical integrity is appreciated.

Edgy MD Mar 01 2012 11:38 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Yours, really. I wrote it late at night based on Herbelistic memory, e-mailed it to work, committed to edit it this morning, but then inexplicably pasted in the first one. Boo, me. Ask me about Ron Herbel at the end of my life, I'll recall three things: [list:3rp08pdt][*:3rp08pdt]Decent pitcher[/*:m:3rp08pdt] [*:3rp08pdt]Brutal batter, hitting .029 for his career.[/*:m:3rp08pdt] [*:3rp08pdt]Went 0-54 as a rookie --- and 1-106 over his first two seasons.[/*:m:3rp08pdt][/list:u:3rp08pdt] I figure that if you give Mary Tyler Moore a bat, she can do better than .029.

G-Fafif Mar 01 2012 11:48 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Edgy DC wrote: I figure that if you give Mary Tyler Moore a bat, she can do better than .029. Love is all around I just got two hits!

Edgy MD Mar 01 2012 11:49 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Now that would have been a good submission.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Mar 01 2012 01:52 PM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Edgy DC wrote: It's like he picked a tune from my collection and I one from his. Not only that, but I went back for a song to cover a modern-day topic, while you went twenty years the other way. Also, was considering another Beck song as one of my three finalists for this round. All sorts of spooky stuff going on here.

TransMonk Mar 01 2012 02:07 PM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: Not only that, but I went back for a song to cover a modern-day topic, while you went twenty years the other way. I like the way you think. http://archives.cranepoolforum.net/8400/f18_t8421.shtml

A Boy Named Seo Mar 01 2012 04:51 PM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

worth the wait, boys. both outstanding.

Ashie62 Mar 02 2012 07:56 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

I like Beck over Dexys MR any day..

sharpie Mar 03 2012 10:49 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Isn't this a 48 hour contest? If so, we have a tie. I remember years ago being in a tie and we had to write another song on an assigned player (Eric Hillman). Is that what happens now?

Edgy MD Mar 03 2012 10:57 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Can't believe I scratched out a tie. Wolfie, deal us a new card or whatever you think best.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Mar 03 2012 06:49 PM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

So... wait. This all done? Where'd the other two votes come from?

Fman99 Mar 03 2012 07:40 PM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

I just voted. You guys are in another league here, impressive work. I went with LWFS for his cock jokes.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Mar 03 2012 08:12 PM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Pandering works!

Edgy MD Mar 03 2012 08:43 PM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Hey, man, wait! Late votes! Oh, well, I concede.

Edgy MD Mar 05 2012 07:28 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

So, we're calling this to LWFS, right?

metirish Mar 05 2012 08:50 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Putin couldn't have done this voting better.

sharpie Mar 05 2012 08:54 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

I think a concession is a concession and LWFS is the Western Division champeen but I suppose the decision is up to the Wolfman.

Edgy MD Mar 05 2012 08:55 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

Oh, sure, I stand by my concession. I'm not that guy. But if Seawolf calls me back in to service, says my country needs me, how can I refuse?

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Mar 05 2012 11:36 AM Re: Parody Semis: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr (17) vs EdgyDC (

metirish wrote: Putin couldn't have done this voting better. Carousel voting and 'absentee ballots' work! This probably would have worked a lot better if I knew what the hell I was doing with polls.