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Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Edgy MD Apr 24 2012 08:09 AM

Ok, we're 16 games in. It's still early, but not so early that a sub-.200 batting average doesn't look really fugly. The following Mets are commanded to get above the Mendoza line forthwith. Ike Davis. You are hitting .136. This is bad, Isaac, but it's nothing that a 5-5 day can't fix. Hits in your next five at-bats will get you up to .203. That's the stuff. Scott Hairston. Batting .160 over there, Scott. That's a sick-looking puppy of a batting average. Two hits, brother. That's all I'm asking. Two hits and you're hitting .222 and while it won't get you into the Hall of Fame, we'll be talking about a new, more respectable you. Mike Nickeas. Stop looking around as if you're otherwise engaged. I see you there. And I see here that you're hitting .071. Come the fuck on. That's just awful. Three straight hits, Mike. Then you're hitting a backup-catcherly .235 and we're all celebrating Michaelmas. You can do it. I know you can. Do you? Jordany Valdespin. Congratulations on the worst at-bat of the year. Get me a hit today and we'll not speak of it again. Andres Torres. Being hurt doesn't exempt you. You're 0-3 and you'd better come off the DL hitting. We've got games to win and we've got a fine offense to do it with. But I need you off the interstate at the ballpark.

The Second Spitter Apr 24 2012 09:15 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Edgy DC wrote: Mike Nickeas. Stop looking around as if you're otherwise engaged. I see you there. And I see here that you're hitting .071. Come the fuck on. That's just awful. Three straight hits, Mike. Then you're hitting a backup-catcherly .235 and we're all celebrating Michaelmas. You can do it. I know you can. Do you? His body language is terrible. It reads: "I'm gonna get sent down whenever this team gets serious about contending. Until such time, I'm just happy to be here."

Benjamin Grimm Apr 24 2012 09:17 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

If that's what he thinks, he should be enjoying his job security.

Edgy MD Apr 24 2012 09:15 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Davis down to .136. I should make him do laps.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Apr 24 2012 09:19 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Gotta figure the Valley Girl sits vs. Buerhle tomorrow, things being as they are and all.

Ceetar Apr 24 2012 09:46 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Gotta figure the Valley Girl sits vs. Buerhle tomorrow, things being as they are and all. For Lutzy? or Turnsy? or was the 9th inning a sign and it's Valdespin at second and Murphy at first?

TransMonk Apr 25 2012 07:51 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Terry after last night's game on PH for Ike: “I love Ike Davis. He’s gonna hit and we’re gonna put this in our past real soon, because he’s going to start hitting. But, like I said the other day when I took Frank Francisco out of the game, once in a while it’s not about one guy it’s about all 25. He understood. I told him he’ll be in there (Wednesday). … We need him to get going.” I'm not sure I agree, but it sounds like Ike will be in the lineup against Buehrle.

Edgy MD Apr 27 2012 07:10 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

That single gets Scott Hairston up to .200. Watch closely, Ike.

Chad Ochoseis Apr 28 2012 05:38 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Denver's a great place to get off the interstate...Hairy's now up to .265, and Nickeas at .188 has at least switched on his turn signal.

Edgy MD May 01 2012 10:00 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Scott Hairston's cycle hopefully put the 2011 interstate comfortably behind him. He's at .244 and presumably didn't use up all his awesomeness in one game. A trip through Colorado and Houston may mean Hitsvile USA for some, but for Mike Nickeas, it's been Pukesville. A lousy time for a hitter to be out of commission, and his average sits at .188. A hit his next time up gets him up to an even .200. Ike Davis has been really getting it together of late and stringing together two-hit games. He's up .185 after bottoming out somewhere gross (around .126, I think). Hits in his next two at-bats will deliver him from the endless asphalt. Andres Torres, welcome back... to your nightmare. Somebody else has been doing your job and doing it well, while you have a batting average starting with a one. Six at-bats aren't much of a sample size, so get a knock your next time up, raise your average to a perfectly sing-songy .286, and we aren't having this conversation. And hey, 2-7 is exactly the goal we're looking to reach for the currently 0-5 Jordany Valdespin. That's two hits, JV! Or else it's back to the JV! Speaking of which, Zack Lutz headed back to Buffalo with a .125 average. One-for-one gets you out of the Club of Shame, Zack. Get back soon and straighten that mess out. That's within reach for all y'all.

Ceetar May 01 2012 10:02 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Closest Interstate to Citi Field is 495, and David Wright just fell off it, down to .494 OBP.

Gwreck May 01 2012 11:04 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

The Van Wyck is actually an interstate highway (I-678).

Ceetar May 01 2012 12:51 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Gwreck wrote: The Van Wyck is actually an interstate highway (I-678). well, he better get his .569 SLG up then!

Edgy MD May 02 2012 10:18 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Ike Davis, under the helpful guidance of this thread, is up to .188 and a 2-4 day would get his head above water. Andres Torres is at the line and anything 1-5 or better should keep him there. Go, Andres. Jordany Valdespin needs some swings. I think maybe they should have started him at catcher today.

Edgy MD May 29 2012 10:34 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Andres Torres looking to separate himself from the scofflaw list. [list][*]Torres: .202[/*:m] [*]Davis: .170[/*:m] [*]Nickeas: .148[/*:m] [*]Lutz: .125[/*:m] [*]Valdespin: .100[/*:m][/list:u]

Edgy MD Jun 13 2012 07:52 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

A great day for all you fellow interstate haters: [list=1:3pcolunk][*:3pcolunk]Nickeas goes 2-4 to raise his average to a still-terrifying .155.[/*:m:3pcolunk] [*:3pcolunk]Davis goes 2-3 to make a move toward local traffic at .181.[/*:m:3pcolunk] [*:3pcolunk]Bay goes 1-5, which, uninspiring though it may be, is still good enough to make the needle go up a little, to .183.[/*:m:3pcolunk] [*:3pcolunk]Torres goes 3-5 to, hopefully, leave the itinerant life on the road behind forever, finishing at .221.[/*:m:3pcolunk][/list:o:3pcolunk]

Benjamin Grimm Jun 14 2012 02:22 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton. There's another I-88 which runs from Chicago to Moline, Illinois, but the one that runs to Binghamton seems more appropriate, because if Ike doesn't get off the Interstate, that's where he may end up.

Benjamin Grimm Jun 14 2012 02:24 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

And Jason Bay is currently on I-87, which runs from the Bronx to Canada. (The Quebec boarder in upstate New York.)

Ceetar Jun 14 2012 02:24 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton. There's another I-88 which runs from Chicago to Moline, Illinois, but the one that runs to Binghamton seems more appropriate, because if Ike doesn't get off the Interstate, that's where he may end up. One more hit could get him to .190. I90 goes to Buffalo. edit I-190 actually is viewable from Buffalo's stadium.

Edgy MD Jun 14 2012 02:29 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Bay at .187 Davis at.188 Valdespin at .190 We should take bets on which of htese poinies hits the tape first.

Ceetar Jun 14 2012 02:32 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Edgy DC wrote: Bay at .187 Davis at.188 Valdespin at .190 We should take bets on which of these poinies hits the tape first. 1:2 Davis 5:1 Bay 10:1 Valdespin

Mets – Willets Point Jun 14 2012 02:33 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!! Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jun 14 2012 02:35 PM

Ceetar wrote: Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton. There's another I-88 which runs from Chicago to Moline, Illinois, but the one that runs to Binghamton seems more appropriate, because if Ike doesn't get off the Interstate, that's where he may end up. One more hit could get him to .190. I90 goes to Buffalo. edit I-190 actually is viewable from Buffalo's stadium. I-90 also starts in Boston very close to Fenway Park and ends in Seattle in front of Safeco Field and passes right by Jacobs Field in Cleveland along the way. You could do a great ballpark tour on that highway.

Edgy MD Jun 14 2012 02:34 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Ceetar wrote: Bay at .187 Davis at.188 Valdespin at .190 We should take bets on which of these poinies hits the tape first. 1:2 Davis 5:1 Bay 10:1 Valdespin Fifty kwacha on Jordany.

Ceetar Jun 14 2012 02:36 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Mets – Willets Point wrote: Ceetar wrote: Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton. There's another I-88 which runs from Chicago to Moline, Illinois, but the one that runs to Binghamton seems more appropriate, because if Ike doesn't get off the Interstate, that's where he may end up. One more hit could get him to .190. I90 goes to Buffalo. edit I-190 actually is viewable from Buffalo's stadium. I-90 also starts in Boston very close to Fenway Park and ends in Seattle in front of Safeco Field and passes right by Jacobs Field in Cleveland along the way. You could do a great ballpark tour on that highway. Gets real close to the Chicago stadiums as well. we took it there.

TransMonk Jun 14 2012 07:33 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

I'm five minutes from I-90. I don't want to see any Mets anywhere near me.

RealityChuck Jun 15 2012 06:46 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton. The least traveled highway on the entire interstate system. Even mapping programs don't know it exists. They can shut down the entire half of the highway for miles and shunt all traffic onto the other half without traffic slowing down in the slightest. They named it after State Senator Warren Anderson in the hope that Anderson would use it and double the traffic. Despite this, they use more salt on that road than any other highway in upstate NY.

Edgy MD Jun 15 2012 07:10 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

That had to be one of the more egregious "We're in power now, and we're gonna name some shit after our guys" maneuvers. I hate the word "shunt."

Ceetar Jun 15 2012 07:23 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

I've taken i88. once. Was probably 10 years ago. Took it to Syracuse from Ithaca. Was the last time I was at a Hooters. Went to a movie in the Carousel mall. Was it the second Matrix movie? I'm drawing a blank now.

Centerfield Jun 15 2012 11:38 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

You're thinking of I-81.

Ceetar Jun 15 2012 11:44 AM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Centerfield wrote: You're thinking of I-81. you're right. damn. I could've sworn it said 81/88 for a long while, but that doesn't appear to be the case. Perhaps I'm delusional.

Edgy MD Jun 18 2012 09:06 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Jordany Valdespin goes 2-4 and gets his digits up to .200. Ike Davis gets a 1-3 (with the 1 going far) and lands himself on I-96. Hard to go much further north than that and not be driving in Canada. I-96 takes you from Detroit in the east and terminates at Grand Rapids in the west, so maybe Mets Guy will see Ike out there as he makes his final interstate exit. If those two get clear, four 2012 Mets will remain south of Mendoza: [list][*]Jason Bay: .187 (Bronx to Champlain, New York)[/*:m] [*]Mike Nickeas: .155 (LaPlace, Louisiana to Chicago, Illinois)[/*:m] [*]Zach Lutz: .125 (Las Cruces, New Mexico to Buffalo, Wyoming)[/*:m] [*]Josh Satin: .000 (not even in his car yet)[/*:m][/list:u] It's possible Bay and maybe Lutz don't get another swing in 2012, but root for Satin and Nickeas to get their licks in while Baltimore is reeling. And yeah, don't stop rooting for Ike (or thinking about tomorrow, for that matter). He ain't driving in the streets of Grand Rapids yet.

Edgy MD Jun 19 2012 09:51 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Ike Davis, spotted this evening on Interstate 93, running from Canton, Massachusetts north to the vicinity of St. Johnsbury, Vermont. I imagine it's lovely this time of year. Plus, you get to cross this lovely bridge.

Mets – Willets Point Jun 19 2012 10:09 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Hi Ike! Nice of you to pass by. I think you should be heading down to New York though. I-278 will get you to Flushing and is a respectable batting average.

Edgy MD Jun 23 2012 01:35 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Davis still tooling around northern New England, this time on-91, New Haven to Derby Line, Vermont. Mike Nickeas is on Interstate 67, which is more than a little sad, because it doesn't exist yet. A proposed Interstate 67 would got from Indianapolis to Benton Harbor, MI. Hopefully, he's got four wheel power in his truck. Come east, Mikey! Still idling. Rottino: .188 Bay: .187 Lutz: .125 Satin: .000 (0-1)

TransMonk Jun 27 2012 03:31 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Davis is now hitting .201! Two-oh-one!

Ceetar Jun 27 2012 05:14 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

TransMonk wrote: Davis is now hitting .201! Two-oh-one! OBP up to .281

Chad Ochoseis Jun 29 2012 01:39 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

Ike's ohfer last night puts him back on I-97. This ridiculously dinky interstate was used regularly by an old college buddy of mine when he commuted from his home in the DC exurbs of Maryland to a job in Annapolis. That's about the full length of the highway. If any of you DC people see him, could you tell him that he's needed at Dodger Stadium this weekend?

Edgy MD Jun 29 2012 01:58 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

My wife took that dinky road yesterday to get our car serviced. Hot damn, I should have had her on the Ikewatch.

Edgy MD Jun 29 2012 05:19 PM Re: Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

And Nickeas went 1-3 yesterday, leaving him on Interstate 88. Where does that take you, Mike?