Jul 26 2012 11:14 AM
The Breakdown:
We're at about the same place as these guys, but headed in the opposite direction, post-break-- they'd won five in a row and 7 of 9 before last night's cooldown against Colorado. The difference? They, like hit and stuff-- the Snakes have gone .301/.375/.489 since the break. As a team. They're balanced, pop. Also, they're doing this while in selling mode-- Tatman's gone, and there are rumors of others' departure.
"Yes, we have power from top to bottom. No, I will not say 'power bottom' again, you little turd."
Considering that they also field a lot better than us, and pitch a little better than us... and that it will be ridiculously, energy-sapping hot this weekend... this series' symptoms may include swelling, redness, and the itch to put the remote through the TV/your foot through the radio.
The Lineup:
(*Lefties/#Switchies)
I have worry.
C Miguel Montero* (339 PA, .275/.372/.416, 37 R, 9 HR, 55 RBI, 108 OPS+). Career-high OBP, career-low (for full-season) slugging. Weirdly, hitting better on the road than at friendly Chase. Superpronounced platoon split this year (.874 vs. righties; sub-Charlie O'Brien vs. lefties). Nice versatility in walk-up music, ranging from Brazilian pop to New Wave.
1B Paul Goldschmidt (329 PA, .292/.362/.533, 42 R, 13 HR, 46 RBI, 132 OPS+). 43 extra-base hits in just over 300 plate trips. When lefty pitchers have problems sleeping, he's the reason (.321/.403/.679 in 160 career PAs). His forearms could each feed a cannibal family of 8.
"You don't use any artificial tooth-whiteners? What'chu talkin' about, Goldschmidt?"
2B Aaron Hill (395 PA, .304/.359/.503, 48 R, 13 HR, 45 RBI, 124 OPS+). When not terrible (see: 2010-2011), is pretty damn good. Missed out on All-Star appearance after posting all-around excellent first half, capped by posting two cycles in eleven days.
3B Ryan Wheeler* (9 PA, .222/.222/.444, 2 R, 0 HR, 0 RBI, 18 OPS+). Breaking more balls in Reno than Don Rickles. Not so much here, as yet. Swings more ill-advisedly than a key party guest with the itchycrotch flu (career 21%-plus minor-league strikeout rate in some FAVORABLE offensive environs).
SS Stephen Drew* (70 PA, .222/.286/.302, 7 R, 0 HR, 7 RBI, 55 OPS+). Back from a broken ankle. Likely gone after this year. Oddly effective against Chris Young in a small sample (.308/.462/.471 over 18 career PAs).
LF Jason Kubel* (364 PA, .298/.368/.578, 51 R, 21 HR, 71 RBI, 144 OPS+). From a town called Belle Fourche in South Dakota; seems to view his fork with the same reverence as the Frogs what named his town. Still slapping fastballs into the right field corner-- again, he's a DEAD-PULL guy-- like they had insulted his honor. Still getting on-base at a hefty clip. Still makes me crave noodle casserole when I hear his name.
CF Chris Young (234 PAs, .223/.329/.455, 25 R, 11 HR, 27 RBI, 104 OPS+). Cooled down significantly since returning from his shoulder injury. As he's done it a couple of times before without incident, won't make the universe go all-funky-singularity on us when he faces his namesake (hopefully).
Breakout season goes crunch
RF Justin Upton (377 PAs, .275/.366/.410, 62 R, 8 HR, 41 RBI, 105 OPS+). Currently testing his carry-on luggage and checking flight schedules.
The Bench:
(*Lefties/#Switchies)
C Henry Blanco (60 PA, .207/.233/.310)— Runners/balls: you shall. Not. Pass.
1B Lyle Overbay* (107 PA, .301/.377/.462)— Now THAT's platooning.
2B/SS John McDonald (93 PA, 264/.304/.483)— Just back from back injury.
IF Willie Bloomquist (312 PA, .305/.330/.406)— Glitch in the Matrix? Seriously, he's awful.
OF Gerardo Parra (272 PA, .281/.349/.426)— Despite yeoman work at all three OF positions, can't get arrested in this town (unless he forgets his ID).
"No tira, Sheriff Joe?"
The Matchups:
Thursday, 7/26: The New Kid vs.
LHP Wade Miley (19 G/16 GS, 113 1/3 IP, 11-5 record, 3.02 ERA, 1.09 WHIP, 85 K/23 BB, 9 HR allowed)— May not be Trinidadian, but he seems to crave RoTY. Still pounding that zone with four pitches, but most often his well-commanded two-seamer and his slider. Also may be pretty good at commanding a Confederate cavalry regiment, if that beard is any indication.
"My very dear Sarah: I have been instructed to throw ANOTHER changeup here, and doubt I shall survive the half-inning.
Never forget how much I love you, and when my last Tweet escapes my thumbs, it will click-clack your name. O, Sarah! Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone to the showers and wait for thee, no-decision'd."
Friday, 7/27: Nice And Niese vs.
RHP Josh Collmenter (19 G/8 GS, 66 IP, 2-2 record, 3.82 ERA, 1.29 WHIP, 61 K/16 BB, 10 HR allowed)— Funky, straight-over-the-top delivery, with a decent change.
Gibson didn't trust him at season's outset (going with about 5 other rotation options ahead of him). Gibson might be in a better position if he had.
[youtube]MX_wJIcfVx8[/youtube]
Saturday, 7/28: Seventh-Inning Itch vs.
RHP Ian Kennedy (20 G/20 GS, 128 2/3 IP, 8-8 record, 4.20 ERA, 1.28 WHIP, 113 K/25 BB, 15 HR allowed)— Still rock-solid, though the numbers have taken a little bit of a hit, most likely due to a career-high BABIP (with no other apparent changes). Still going with the fastball/two-seamer/change (with show-me slider and curve) combo that earned him his breakout two years ago. Unbeaten (3.50 ERA/1.22 WHIP) in three starts against the Mets, though SugarPants murderizes him (4 hits-- 3 for XB-- and 2 BB in 10 PAs). Married to a tall drink of ex-USC-basketball-player.
Sunday, 7/28: Regressing to Averages? vs.
LHP Joe Saunders (16 G/16 GS, 31 2/3 IP, 2-2 record, 3.51 ERA, 1.31 WHIP, 71 K/25 BB, 12 HR allowed)— Pitches to contact. Looks like he's trying to eat his own chin when he pitches. Looks like he doesn't need ANY additional chin calories.
"Sliders. Mmmmmmmmmmsliders."
"Guys?" In The Bullpen (brought to you by A Dude Who WANTS TO BUY YOUR CAR FOR CASH)
"Guys like Mike Zagurski are lefty, but hardly worth their sand . Guys like Craig Breslow, though, can sandbag you. Guys like Brad Ziegler are hot. Guys like JBryan Shaw... not."
[Pants, stretches collar]
"Guys like Takashi Saito are just coming back from injuries. But then Brad Bergesen is a guy. And then... and then you have... guys."
[Stares into distance; sucks on saliva]
"GUYS! Where was I? Guys like David Hernandez have some... and then J.J. Putz. So hot. Hot... guysguysguys..."
[Passes out; praises opposing team's legends in sleep]
Exes:
No Longer Feeling Blue:
Just Henry of Alba and Joseph Jason Penis, still.
Ex-Vermillionaires:
Scott "Two-Foot Blind Spot" Hairston. Jon "Big Jon" Rauch.
LGM.
