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Faster than Sidd Finch

TheOldMole
Jul 10 2012 01:42 PM

What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?

- Ellen McManis

Let’s set aside the question of how we got the baseball moving that fast. We'll suppose it's a normal pitch, except in the instant the pitcher releases the ball, it magically accelerates to 0.9c. From that point onward, everything proceeds according to normal physics.:



The answer turns out to be “a lot of things”, and they all happen very quickly, and it doesn’t end well for the batter (or the pitcher). I sat down with some physics books, a Nolan Ryan action figure, and a bunch of videotapes of nuclear tests and tried to sort it all out. What follows is my best guess at a nanosecond-by-nanosecond portrait:

The ball is going so fast that everything else is practically stationary. Even the molecules in the air are stationary. Air molecules vibrate back and forth at a few hundred miles per hour, but the ball is moving through them at 600 million miles per hour. This means that as far as the ball is concerned, they’re just hanging there, frozen.

The ideas of aerodynamics don’t apply here. Normally, air would flow around anything moving through it. But the air molecules in front of this ball don’t have time to be jostled out of the way. The ball smacks into them hard that the atoms in the air molecules actually fuse with the atoms in the ball’s surface. Each collision releases a burst of gamma rays and scattered particles.




These gamma rays and debris expand outward in a bubble centered on the pitcher’s mound. They start to tear apart the molecules in the air, ripping the electrons from the nuclei and turning the air in the stadium into an expanding bubble of incandescent plasma. The wall of this bubble approaches the batter at about the speed of light—only slightly ahead of the ball itself.



The constant fusion at the front of the ball pushes back on it, slowing it down, as if the ball were a rocket flying tail-first while firing its engines. Unfortunately, the ball is going so fast that even the tremendous force from this ongoing thermonuclear explosion barely slows it down at all. It does, however, start to eat away at the surface, blasting tiny particulate fragments of the ball in all directions. These fragments are going so fast that when they hit air molecules, they trigger two or three more rounds of fusion.

After about 70 nanoseconds the ball arrives at home plate. The batter hasn't even seen the pitcher let go of the ball, since the light carrying that information arrives at about the same time the ball does. Collisions with the air have eaten the ball away almost completely, and it is now a bullet-shaped cloud of expanding plasma (mainly carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, and nitrogen) ramming into the air and triggering more fusion as it goes. The shell of x-rays hits the batter first, and a handful of nanoseconds later the debris cloud hits.

When it reaches the batter, the center of the cloud is still moving at an appreciable fraction of the speed of light. It hits the bat first, but then the batter, plate, and catcher are all scooped up and carried backward through the backstop as they disintegrate. The shell of x-rays and superheated plasma expands outward and upward, swallowing the backstop, both teams, the stands, and the surrounding neighborhood—all in the first microsecond.

Suppose you’re watching from a hilltop outside the city. The first thing you see is a blinding light, far outshining the sun. This gradually fades over the course of a few seconds, and a growing fireball rises into a mushroom cloud. Then, with a great roar, the blast wave arrives, tearing up trees and shredding houses.

Everything within roughly a mile of the park is leveled, and a firestorm engulfs the surrounding city. The baseball diamond is now a sizable crater, centered a few hundred feet behind the former location of the backstop.



A careful reading of official Major League Baseball Rule 6.08(b) suggests that in this situation, the batter would be considered "hit by pitch", and would be eligible to advance to first base.

Ceetar
Jul 10 2012 01:52 PM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

A careful reading of official Major League Baseball Rule 6.08(b) suggests that in this situation, the batter would be considered "hit by pitch", and would be eligible to advance to first base.


*snicker*

Benjamin Grimm
Jul 10 2012 01:55 PM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

Wow! I hope I'm nowhere near the stadium when this situation, inevitably, occurs.

Lefty Specialist
Jul 10 2012 05:50 PM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

Awesome. Let's hope it happens to Derek Jeter when the Yankees are on the road (since I don't want my house to be damaged by the shock wave).

Zvon
Jul 10 2012 06:17 PM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

That's the best and most interesting OP ever.

Zvon
Jul 10 2012 06:18 PM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

..anywhere.

Mets – Willets Point
Jul 10 2012 06:32 PM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

This comes from the new What If blog by Randall Munroe creator of the web comic xkcd.

metsmarathon
Jul 10 2012 08:11 PM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

i love xkcd

TheOldMole
Jul 11 2012 07:02 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

Sorry...I meant to post the link but somehow blew it.

MFS62
Jul 11 2012 07:40 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

It would seem that the force necessary to propel the ball at that speed would be greater than what is released in the resultant explosion.
I'd have to see the math.

Later

Ceetar
Jul 11 2012 07:42 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

MFS62 wrote:
It would seem that the force necessary to propel the ball at that speed would be greater than what is released in the resultant explosion.
I'd have to see the math.

Later


That's true, someone email Randall and have him do the bio-mechanical write up on what a pitcher's arm would have to look like to do that. It'd probably tear right off his body right?

MFS62
Jul 11 2012 07:46 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

Ceetar wrote:
That's true, someone email Randall and have him do the bio-mechanical write up on what a pitcher's arm would have to look like to do that. It'd probably tear right off his body right?

Right.

Later

metsmarathon
Jul 11 2012 08:27 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

Ceetar wrote:
MFS62 wrote:
It would seem that the force necessary to propel the ball at that speed would be greater than what is released in the resultant explosion.
I'd have to see the math.

Later


That's true, someone email Randall and have him do the bio-mechanical write up on what a pitcher's arm would have to look like to do that. It'd probably tear right off his body right?


"We'll suppose it's a normal pitch, except in the instant the pitcher releases the ball, it magically accelerates to 0.9c"

Edgy MD
Jul 11 2012 08:28 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

Yabbut, who reads the second sentence? Of anything, really?

batmagadanleadoff
Jul 11 2012 08:30 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

What would happen if the batter farted when the pitcher released the ball?

Ceetar
Jul 11 2012 08:33 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

I was extrapolating further, not not reading. What makes the ball go that fast and what would it's effect be?

MFS62
Jul 11 2012 08:52 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

It'd probably tear right off his body right?


And for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The "magical force" in one direction to propel the baseball forward would have an opposite force that destroys the pitcher's arm.

Later

Lefty Specialist
Jul 11 2012 08:58 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

Well, it magically accelerates AFTER it leaves the pitcher's hand, so he wouldn't be destroyed instantly, just a nanosecond or so later.

Does this finally explain the Met career of Mel Rojas?

metsmarathon
Jul 11 2012 10:55 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

Ceetar wrote:
I was extrapolating further, not not reading. What makes the ball go that fast and what would it's effect be?


the pitcher's hand is actually made of antimatter (they missed it in the physical, apparently), covered by a thin, non-reactive layer of dead skin cells, and possibly vaseline. on this throw, however, as he released the ball, a slightly out of place stitch lightly scraped the skin cells off, and hte resulting matter-anti matter annihilation accelerated the ball to it's new, near-light-speed speed.

Mets – Willets Point
Jul 11 2012 11:35 AM
Re: Faster than Sidd Finch

Video of this actually happening.