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Douchebag Neighbors 2012

John Cougar Lunchbucket Sep 07 2012 08:44 AM

In our neighborhood, we have alternate-side parking 4 days a week to keep our streets clean. I totally support it and take pride that in 6+ years of owning a vehicle in the city I got street-cleaning ticketed, I think, only three times. We need as much clean steets as we can get. I'd say our street is middling to pretty good re: vehicle-owners to available spaces to park. If you're diligent about it, managing your parking on my street shouldn't be a big issue. Except. Except. ... There's a shaggy haired guy who lives across the street and up a little. (I actually wrote about him once before, "Rusty Car Guy." http://archives.cranepoolforum.net/6700/f2_t6715.shtml , I'd forgotten the detail about his placard, but knew he was a Met fan for some reason). Back then, RCG had 3 cars. For the last year or so he's had four (including that same bombed 280Z, plus a purple VW Cabriolet with wide tires and rims; a dinged-up old red Honda sedan; and an aging tan Beemer with body damage and a window that doesn't close. The Barracuda was apparently destroyed as collateral damage in an accident. It was parked of course. This guy's only job appears to be moving his fucking jalopies from one side of the street to the other at the earliest moment he can. Worse than that, rather than be a curteous parker, he leaves about 8 feet between cars. This I realized is to give him room to push the cars when necessary (the Nissan and VW barely run) but the effect is to subtract space(s) for 1 or 2 cars along any stretch he parks. To my knowledge, this guy never uses the cars for any purpose but to park them. He's never out working on them, although they need work. I don;t think he has a job, because how else would he be home to move cars at 9:59 every morning. I can't imagine he could afford insurance for these cars, much less get them through inspection, although the stickers are up to date. So I think he must have a bogus connection. What do you if this is your street? Can I somehow bust this guy? He's making our street ugly and hard to park on.

metirish Sep 07 2012 08:56 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012 Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Sep 07 2012 09:00 AM

What a wanker he is.....I would call 311 and see what can be done.

Ceetar Sep 07 2012 08:58 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

take a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slash a hole in all 4 tires...

sharpie Sep 07 2012 09:30 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

You're the second person I know who has had the same complaint. Different block, same abberant behavior. I'm also a diligent ASP parker and have my own strategies of when the optimum time to move the car is and always always take advantage of parking holidays. Not sure what you can do with that guy. I feel your pain.

Edgy MD Sep 07 2012 09:53 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

What's his wife's name? What's she like?

Chad Ochoseis Sep 07 2012 11:15 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Her name is Mrs. Douchebag, and she likes cars. Take up a neighborhood collection, offer him a hundred bucks for the lot of four, and donate them. I hear there's this charity called Kars4Kids that will give you a tax deduction and a free vacation voucher. Not sure how to contact them, though.

Ceetar Sep 07 2012 11:20 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Chad Ochoseis wrote: Her name is Mrs. Douchebag, and she likes cars. Take up a neighborhood collection, offer him a hundred bucks for the lot of four, and donate them. I hear there's this charity called Kars4Kids that will give you a tax deduction and a free vacation voucher. Not sure how to contact them, though. Put 'em on Ebay. take some pictures, tell them they have to pick them up. I sold a car once this way. They shipped it to Latvia. They didn't ask for paperwork or title or anything.

Fman99 Sep 07 2012 07:21 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Chad Ochoseis wrote: Her name is Mrs. Douchebag, and she likes cars. Take up a neighborhood collection, offer him a hundred bucks for the lot of four, and donate them. I hear there's this charity called Kars4Kids that will give you a tax deduction and a free vacation voucher. Not sure how to contact them, though. BOC right there. I've been dealing with my own douchy neighbors this summer, for the first time since we moved into our current home in 2008. Our backyard is adjacent to a few of my neighbors who technically live on other streets, as the backyards all butt up against each other. We noticed, especially on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, that one of our neighbors felt the need to blare their stereo at a ridiculous volume. The musical selections ranged from tolerable (Journey, Genesis, Led Zep) to painful (old, old school country, like Grand Ole Opry type stuff). After some research I found a local number for noise ordinance complaints. Problem is, the number is specific for residents of the city of Syracuse, and I live in the 'burbs, outside of city limits. I called one Saturday, about 3-4 weeks ago, and filed a complaint. The person who answered the phone indicated that they would send over a county sheriff's car to investigate, we went out for a while, and returned to find things unchanged. I let it slide. The following weekend, the problem returned. In full. I called again, filed another complaint, and not 10 minutes later a police car was parked in front of my house. He drove up and down the block once, barely stopping, and left. The music was still blaring. I waited for an hour or two and called again. The person I spoke to indicated that a car had been sent by and my complaint was "unfounded." Dumb fucks. I gave them my contact info again, told them I would be happy to wait outside and speak to the officer when he came back. Fboy and I went outside and played catch and listened to the sound of Ozark shiteaters pumping each other full of cousin-goo and waited. Finally, Officer Notsobright drives by. Again. Shoots down the block, towards a different part of the neighborhood. The quiet part. Drives back to our house where Fboy and I are sitting in the front yard. "I don't hear a thing," officer says, sounding totally irritated. He never got out of his (running) car and he drove the wrong way. "Yeah, the music is coming from THAT cul de sac, over there." I point behind me. "Their backyard buts up against ours." "Oh. OK, I'll check it out." He finally goes the right direction, and five minutes or so later the music is turned way down. Hasn't been a problem since.

Nymr83 Sep 10 2012 10:41 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Regarding alternate side parking guy, that's just absurd. There need to be compromises for living in the city and the number of cars you keep on the street is one of them (get a place in the suburbs with a garage and a driveway if cars are so important to you)

Edgy MD Sep 10 2012 10:54 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Nymr83 comes out in favor of a regulation. Good on you.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Sep 10 2012 11:42 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Called 311, they referred me to the DOT. I'd have more sympathy for this guy were the cars actually used for some reason, but as I said they are all in very bad repair and I'd assume they are kept for parts and/or repairs they don't get made. He's essentially a dealer, just not a good one. Such things belong in a garage not a residential street.

metirish Sep 11 2012 12:58 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012 Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Sep 11 2012 01:28 PM

In bed last night with the windows open , it was so beautiful and breezy......close to midnight I hear a commotion, some drunken fool screaming obscenities , women screaming.....long story short they congregate on the street outside my house and drunken fool starts screaming more and next thing the guy he was screaming at comes running and starts beating the absolute shite out of him.....woman and what looked like a young teen girl were trying to pull him off......I called 911....three squads and some undercover roll by and I see my nice neighbor taking to them pointing down the street......sirens blaring they go after them.......... the drunken guy looked very slight of build and was screaming in a very gay drunken voice.....know what I mean.....really over the top.....maybe he wasn't even drunk and that was him.....anyway he took some clattering ....

Frayed Knot Sep 11 2012 01:12 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

metirish wrote: .....anyway he took some clattering .... This has to go into the 'MetIrish expressions we need to put into general use' file. - "So, I missed the game this afternoon, how did Mejia do in his first start?" - "Well you should be glad you missed it, he took some clattering out there"

soupcan Nov 03 2012 11:04 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Hey guess what?  In the aftermath of this horrific, destructive storm, my original douchebag neighbor has struck again! There was a monster tree that fell that was on the property line of our two houses.  Fortunately for me, the entire tree landed in his yard. Now as I have found out through personal experience over the course of the last few years and storms, when a tree falls on your property it is your responsibility to clean it up (if in fact you want it cleaned up), no matter whose property the tree was originally on.  There are some exceptions to this rule involving possible negligence, structural damages, etc., but for the most part a hurricane blowing down an otherwise healthy tree onto your property is your responsibility. So, with all that being said, Douchebag Neighbor (who you may or may not remember from the classic hockey rink story), is an attorney by trade, calls me up this morning to basically tell me that since the tree was originally on my property, it's my responsibility to clean it up and when exactly will I be doing that? Can you imagine my glee when I was able to recite to him chapter and verse about the law?  He of course doubted everything I said and informed me that he'd be in touch with his own lawyer.  Fine, no problem I said. Cut to 10 minutes ago - my wife is outside and I hear her and Douchebag throwing F-bombs at each other.  Admittedly she was throwing most of them but anyway.....I go outside and try to calm the situation.  He accuses me of lying about the tree and what I told him, then brings up the hockey rink, calls me a 'Dick' and a horrible neighbor, etc., etc.  I point out the million things he's done but if course he ignores those and starts storming off.  My parting shot was that if he ever wants to speak with us about anything again, do it through an attorney. I'm sitting here typing this, stunned and flabbergasted at this guys lack of self-awareness, arrogance and ignorance.

Edgy MD Nov 03 2012 11:13 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Sorry.

soupcan Nov 03 2012 11:23 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Yeah, thanks. He's a dick, I'm a dick, fuck it. Not getting along with your neighbors sucks.

Edgy MD Nov 03 2012 11:29 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

And being right is little comfort when wrong is so close and not going anywhere. I ain't you, but I'd split the cost of that tree if I could.

Frayed Knot Nov 03 2012 11:29 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Douchebag neighbor is beginning to sound like that occasional Simpsons character: HI, I'm Douchebag neighbor. You may remember me from such past episodes as: 'The Illegal Hockey Rink' and 'Your Tree is in My Yard' The way I see it, the guy just landed himself two winters worth of free firewood so I don't know what he's complaining about. Of course it's only free if you first chain-saw the tree apart then split it all yourself, but hell, that's what autumn weekends are for and the odds of mangling yourself in a chain-saw accident are well under 40% if you take the proper precautions.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Nov 03 2012 11:36 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

I suppose the right way to do have handled this was to say, "I'd be happy to lend you a hand as you move the tree." These weather events are hard on you folks with big trees on your property. Westchester's own Jeff Pearlman complained today that DNs of his were passive-aggressively blaming him for a fallen tree that knocked out power lines. Meantime there is no stopping 4-car guy. I wrote to the DOT and all they bothered to do was send back a pdf of the regulations. Worse than having 4 cars are those times, like all of this week, where he parks them 5 or 6 feet apart so as to arrange them in the same square footage that good parkers could fit 6 cars.

soupcan Nov 03 2012 11:47 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Edgy DC wrote: And being right is little comfort when wrong is so close and not going anywhere. I ain't you, but I'd split the cost of that tree if I could. And you know what? In a perfect world I would have been more than happy to split the cost with him and even might have considered picking up the entire cost. Seriously. But this guy has just been such a complete asshole ever since the hockey rink thing. He's had trees fall onto my property across my driveway twice that he never even acknowledged much less offered to split the cost of removing. I had another neighbor behind me that had a huge tree fall onto my property and I asked them to split the cost of removal and they said no and I paid for the whole thing. That's the way it goes and there was no animosity as a result of that. If I felt like I could have a lengthy and civil conversation with the guy I would, but it's apparent from my last discussion with him, that's just not possible. Yes, my wife's 'You're a motherfucking loser tax attorney!' comment may have something to do with that but still. Let him call his attorney friends and let every single one of them tell him that it's not my responsibility. Just wish I could see his sour puss when one after the other tells him the same fucking thing.

soupcan Nov 03 2012 11:56 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: I suppose the right way to do have handled this was to say, "I'd be happy to lend you a hand as you move the tree." These weather events are hard on you folks with big trees on your property. Westchester's own Jeff Pearlman complained today that DNs of his were passive-aggressively blaming him for a fallen tree that knocked out power lines. I get it, it's fucking frustrating when you think the damage is someone else's fault and responsibility. Bottom line is, the law and insurance companies deal with this stuff constantly and it is what it is. You want to be an asshole about it, go the fuck ahead but it's not gonna change anything and you are just going to alienate yourself. John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Meantime there is no stopping 4-car guy. I wrote to the DOT and all they bothered to do was send back a pdf of the regulations. Worse than having 4 cars are those times, like all of this week, where he parks them 5 or 6 feet apart so as to arrange them in the same square footage that good parkers could fit 6 cars. Now in this case, there has got to be something that can be done here, no? If the cars aren't registered properly or aren't street legal or anything, can't anything be done? It may be a protracted battle but might be worth having his cars constantly get ticketed until they finally get towed.

cooby Nov 03 2012 01:35 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Soupcan, you need to friggin move.

soupcan Nov 03 2012 01:52 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Well, somebody does.

cooby Nov 03 2012 02:13 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

I had another neighbor behind me that had a huge tree fall onto my property and I asked them to split the cost of removal and they said no and I paid for the whole thing. That's the way it goes and there was no animosity as a result of that. It sounds to me as though you have two douchebag neighbors. If things are already touchy with the icerink neighbors, I am not surprised that they continue to be horrible in this situation, but why on earth would neighbor to the back refuse to help out? You have a nice address, but some crummy neighbors.

soupcan Nov 03 2012 03:19 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

cooby wrote: It sounds to me as though you have two douchebag neighbors. If things are already touchy with the icerink neighbors, I am not surprised that they continue to be horrible in this situation, but why on earth would neighbor to the back refuse to help out? You have a nice address, but some crummy neighbors. Well with the neighbors behind me who wouldn't split it, sure it sucked but Johnny Law was on their side so I didn't have a lot of options. I also think that their financial situation was not so great at the time and it was big tree and a pricey removal - as this one will be. Also there is no history or interaction with them so maybe I just don't care as much. This guy though, he's just a prick. Ultimately cooby you are right though, this is a nice address but the people are mostly assholes.

Kong76 Nov 03 2012 03:35 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Invite the guy to the 'pool ... we'll chew him up and spit him out in two days tops!!

Fman99 Nov 03 2012 07:50 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

soupcan wrote: cooby wrote: It sounds to me as though you have two douchebag neighbors. If things are already touchy with the icerink neighbors, I am not surprised that they continue to be horrible in this situation, but why on earth would neighbor to the back refuse to help out? You have a nice address, but some crummy neighbors. Well with the neighbors behind me who wouldn't split it, sure it sucked but Johnny Law was on their side so I didn't have a lot of options. I also think that their financial situation was not so great at the time and it was big tree and a pricey removal - as this one will be. Also there is no history or interaction with them so maybe I just don't care as much. This guy though, he's just a prick. Ultimately cooby you are right though, this is a nice address but the people are mostly assholes. Honestly I think there isn't anything here a fiery bag of dogshit on DN's doorstep wouldn't fix.

themetfairy Nov 03 2012 08:47 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Sorry to hear about it soup. This DN is a real looser....

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Nov 03 2012 10:46 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Fman99 wrote: soupcan wrote: cooby wrote: It sounds to me as though you have two douchebag neighbors. If things are already touchy with the icerink neighbors, I am not surprised that they continue to be horrible in this situation, but why on earth would neighbor to the back refuse to help out? You have a nice address, but some crummy neighbors. Well with the neighbors behind me who wouldn't split it, sure it sucked but Johnny Law was on their side so I didn't have a lot of options. I also think that their financial situation was not so great at the time and it was big tree and a pricey removal - as this one will be. Also there is no history or interaction with them so maybe I just don't care as much. This guy though, he's just a prick. Ultimately cooby you are right though, this is a nice address but the people are mostly assholes. Honestly I think there isn't anything here a fiery bag of dogshit on DN's doorstep wouldn't fix. Weekly. But at a different time every week. You'll want to contract this out. Or you could Strangers-On-A-Train the thing; does, like, Swanny or G-Fafif have a "friend" who could use a good bag-flaming themselves?

Ceetar Nov 04 2012 09:54 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

soupcan wrote: John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: I suppose the right way to do have handled this was to say, "I'd be happy to lend you a hand as you move the tree." These weather events are hard on you folks with big trees on your property. Westchester's own Jeff Pearlman complained today that DNs of his were passive-aggressively blaming him for a fallen tree that knocked out power lines. I get it, it's fucking frustrating when you think the damage is someone else's fault and responsibility. Bottom line is, the law and insurance companies deal with this stuff constantly and it is what it is. You want to be an asshole about it, go the fuck ahead but it's not gonna change anything and you are just going to alienate yourself. be careful of course, of the 'right way' to do things with lawyers. particularly douchbag ones. Specifically mention it as 'his' tree in things like that or he'll try to get on some sort of verbal assumption of guilt or whatnot. Law can often come down to who can BS the most and he's got the practice and doesn't have to pay an attorney. John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Meantime there is no stopping 4-car guy. I wrote to the DOT and all they bothered to do was send back a pdf of the regulations. Worse than having 4 cars are those times, like all of this week, where he parks them 5 or 6 feet apart so as to arrange them in the same square footage that good parkers could fit 6 cars. Now in this case, there has got to be something that can be done here, no? If the cars aren't registered properly or aren't street legal or anything, can't anything be done? It may be a protracted battle but might be worth having his cars constantly get ticketed until they finally get towed. post to #nygas on twitter about the cars. plenty of people are looking for gas these days. hmm..

John Cougar Lunchbucket Nov 04 2012 11:54 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

No his cars have up to date stickers, which itself is some kind of scam since there's no way they could get through a legit inspection and no way he pays to insure them.

Nymr83 Nov 05 2012 07:08 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

I was worried to open this thread, usually one of my favorite threads, following the hurricane. "Tales of Neighborly D-baggery From Hurricane Sandy.". Glad to see that only the neighbors who were already assholes are being assholes during the storm. I am suprised about the tree thing. If my tree falls on your property then YOU have to clean it up?

Ceetar Nov 05 2012 07:16 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Nymr83 wrote: I was worried to open this thread, usually one of my favorite threads, following the hurricane. "Tales of Neighborly D-baggery From Hurricane Sandy.". Glad to see that only the neighbors who were already assholes are being assholes during the storm. I am suprised about the tree thing. If my tree falls on your property then YOU have to clean it up? when I buy a house, I'm making sure to dig around my neighbor's side of any trees then, to encourage them to fall that way.

Swan Swan H Nov 05 2012 09:49 AM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: You'll want to contract this out. Or you could Strangers-On-A-Train the thing; does, like, Swanny or G-Fafif have a "friend" who could use a good bag-flaming themselves? I don't know a guy, but I know a guy who knows a guy.

soupcan Nov 05 2012 06:32 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Nymr83 wrote: I am suprised about the tree thing. If my tree falls on your property then YOU have to clean it up? That is in fact the case and the law. The opposite is also true, if your tree falls on their property, its their problem. Again though if you notice that your neighbor's tree is sick and or dying and you notify them in writing, previous to the toppling of said tree, then the tree owner would be responsible. Now if there is damage - like the tree hit their house then at least their insurance company would cover it and depending on your coverage, your company may reimburse your neighbor's ins. co. Usually neighbors are nice to each other and in these cases you probably at least split the removal cost. As I said, this guy and I have a history and in addition to the hockey rink episode, I have since paid entirely for the removal of two (three maybe?) of his trees that fell across my driveway. So my thought here is that turnabout is fair play and karma's a bitch. He actually had some people in the yard today checking out the sitch, so my foul-mouthed, short-tempered wife called an attorney friend of ours who brought over an associate of hers who specializes in this kind of crap. The guy told my wife 'Your neighbor can sue you all he wants but he doesn't have a leg to stand on.' The one thing he did say to us was that it was a type of wood that is used too make furniture (don't know what kind of tree it is - oak, ash, whatever) and its really big and really nice. Normally a lumber company may buy it from you and pay you to haul it away. Presently though with all these trees down, you probably couldn't find that kind of deal. The lawyer said - wait a few weeks, if Douchebag just leaves the tree there, call a few lumber cos. and see if you can sell it. That'd be the ultimate irony huh?

John Cougar Lunchbucket Nov 05 2012 06:47 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

Yes, then use the wood to build an ampitheatre. Then get the guy's favorite band to play there but don't let him in.

Ceetar Nov 05 2012 07:30 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Yes, then use the wood to build an ampitheatre. Then get the guy's favorite band to play there but don't let him in. that's when he'd suddenly 'discover' the law and claim the ampitheatre is his.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Nov 05 2012 08:05 PM Re: Douchebag Neighbors 2012

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Yes, then use the wood to build an ampitheatre. Then get the guy's favorite band to play there but don't let him in. And call it "Lil' Nassau Coliseum."