|
Baseball Prospectus runs a pice today that is both a timeless and, for us, a timely primer about how to rationalize a negative spin on any and every move made by your club, mostly by comparing said move to a singular example of where a similar move has gone wrong in the past.
Full article via the link, meat and potatoes c-n-p'd below.
If your team has signed a free agent, remember that the free agent is probably "old" in baseball terms. He's likely on the wrong side of 30 and "past his prime" or "in decline." Ignore the fact that "past his prime" and "useless" are not the same thing. The fact that he will not repeat his glory years means that the world is about to end. On Friday.
If your team has signed a free agent to a long-term deal, simply repeat over and over that even if he fills a pressing current need, the deal will be hard to swallow when the player is 38. Ignore the fact that escalating salaries and increasing revenues will make his 2017 salary look a little better by then and that he gives your team a good chance this year. Just pretend that everything will be the same in 2017 as it is now. And cry because if it does hamstring the team's budget (it might), you have been robbed of your right to cheer for a team that constantly has maximum payroll flexibility three years from now, by virtue of the fact that there's no one on the roster worth keeping that long. That's what the Third Amendment is about.
If your team has signed a free agent with an injury history, he will be hurt on Opening Day trying to catch a popup. Because that's what happened to Mo Vaughn.
If your team just missed on signing that free agent, your owner is incredibly cheap and your GM has no idea what he's doing. He is unable to see that the free agent would have taken less money to come to your city because his brother's wife's cousin's dog is from a town 150 miles away. And your team has prospects. And your fair city has museums and restaurants. No other city has these things.
If your team just lost a free agent who is very good at baseball, this is the worst day in your franchise's history. He is a traitor because... why... doesn't... he... love... me? (Note: I owe this one to my wife. We were living in Cleveland when Lebron left. In five words, she nailed the entirety of the three days that followed.) I'd recommend some emu music. Not emo. Listen to the sounds that emus make.
If your team just lost a free agent who was not very good at baseball, despair over the fact that the change of scenery/new role might do him some good. If you just signed this guy, despair over the fact that a leopard can't change his spots and even in a new role or with a different perspective on coaching, this guy will continue to stink.
If your team just signed a decent reliever, you can always point out that your team needs a proven closer™, and so despite the fact that they also need three or four decent bullpen arms in general, since this one is not a proven closer™, your team is doomed. What's worse is that the third baseman you just signed can't close either.
If your team just lost someone in the Rule 5 Draft, he will become the next Roberto Clemente. Note: Rule 5 picks all have a major flaw in their game. That's why they were left unprotected. Some of them do fix up the flaw, and it works out great. But no one ever rolls out the list of Rule 5 picks that didn't work out. It's a much longer list. Just ignore it.
If your team just traded a prospect, you just gave up Jeff Bagwell for Doyle Alexander. It's entirely irrelevant that it was John Smoltz for Alexander and Bagwell for Larry Andersen. This is not the time to be rational.
If your team just acquired a prospect, he could get hurt. Or stall. Or not be the 20 WARP player that all industry sources expect him to be... or at least my Cousin Frank said that. He could join Oxfam. He could get hurt. (Um, all baseball players can get hurt.)
If your team has done nothing, you could totally do a better job. You'd do something. And there would be 29 GMs lined up at your door to help you do something.
| 
