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Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Edgy MD Jan 07 2013 01:39 PM

I name a player, you tell me a fact about him --- a fact that probably isn't true, but you'd like to be true. Brian McRae? Appeared in Conan the Conqueror while still a teenager. Macky Sasser? Delivered Reese Witherspoon's baby in an elevator. David Cone? Makes the law with his bare hands. Once drank Daniel Day-Lewis' milkshake just for shits and giggles. Extra points for walking the line between plausible and awesome. Tell me a bunch of crap about Bill Almon.

Swan Swan H Jan 07 2013 01:58 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

He is a distant relative of Duane and Gregg Allman of the Allman Brothers. Their families emigrated from Germany in the late 1800s, and their family name of Allmendinger was Americanized differently upon arrival. And two that are ture: My sister and I sat behind to his wife at a game, back in 1980. We were having a nice chat when a bizarre rundown play took place. Almon threw the ball past Joel Youngblood, who was rushing in from center field to join the play, and everybody scored. The poor woman was so embarrassed she never said another word to us for the rest of the game. His daughter was an excellent softball player in college, a catcher for Hofstra, is friendly with my son. She is now the assistant director of athletics for administration at Hofstra. Am I naming the next guy, or is Edgy Trebeking the thread?

Vic Sage Jan 07 2013 02:11 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Bill Married his HS sweetheart, Jeanette, and they settled in Warwick, RI. They had 9 children -- all sons, and he taught them each to play a different position. After he retired, Bill took his family barnstorming, playing pickup games throughout New England. They were sponsored by Hershey's Almond Joy. The team, however, was never as good as they should have been.

Edgy MD Jan 07 2013 02:12 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Am I naming the next guy, or is Edgy Trebeking the thread? Oh, no. You go. Great leadoff homer.

Swan Swan H Jan 07 2013 02:19 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

OK. Give me some crap about Claudell Washington.

batmagadanleadoff Jan 07 2013 02:29 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Swan Swan H wrote: OK. Give me some crap about Claudell Washington. Claudell is a distant relative of Duane and Gregg Allman of the Allman Brothers. Their families emigrated from Germany in the late 1800s, and their family name of Allmendinger was Americanized differently upon arrival. With no talent for the slide guitar, Claudell took up base-sliding as a hobby instead, and eventually, baseball. What's the crap with Les Rohr?

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 07 2013 02:36 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap Edited 2 time(s), most recently on Jan 07 2013 02:47 PM

Named after his deceased maternal grandmother, famed Gallic cow-yeller Leslie "C'Mere" Commaire, Rohr was actually raised as a girl for the first eleven years of his life; his quirky left-handed motion derived from his time spent in youth softball leagues. FUN FACT: Mies van der Rohe was a family friend of his Air Force pilot/architecture critic father; when young Leslie surprised the architect/designer during a visit to the Rohr home by jumping on his lap following a surprising weight gain, Mies was moved to exclaim, "OOF-- Les is MORE;" the Brno chair and Tugendhat chair were created by Mies as ergonomic responses to the experience. Give me something on Wally Whitehurst.

Edgy MD Jan 07 2013 02:38 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

And after Claudelle we have...

Edgy MD Jan 07 2013 10:11 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

After Les Rohr's MLB career flamed out at 23, he continued for several years in the PCL and Mexican League, pitching under the nam "Dutch Chapperal." Terry Leach?

Swan Swan H Jan 08 2013 07:16 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Terry Leach was originally a conventional pitcher until a massive goiter developed on the right side of his neck during his junior year at Auburn, causing him tilt precipitously to that side. He realized that the angle made his pitches more effective, so once the goiter was removed he kept to that style. The goiter, preserved in formaldehyde, now resides in a jar in the Auburn Sports Hall of Fame. I believe Wally Whitehurst is still on the board from LWFS.

Lefty Specialist Jan 08 2013 07:42 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Wally Whitehurst, after he left the Mets in 1992, went on an Aztec Dream Quest and discovered that he was indeed the reincarnated soul of Quetzalcoatl, the terrifying feathered serpent beast. After two indifferent seasons with the Padres (coincidentally during the same time a series of ritual pet sacrifices in the San Diego area remain unsolved), he moved on to the Yankees in time to post a 1-1 record and induct George Steinbrenner and Joe Torre into his bloodthirsty plan for world domination. Today, ironically, he runs a petting zoo in Thousand Oaks, CA with his wife Tzitzimitl and their three kids, Tlazolteotl, Mictlantecuhtli, and Jimmy.

Edgy MD Jan 08 2013 07:48 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

That took a lot of good research and fact-checking. Need another Met.

Lefty Specialist Jan 08 2013 07:50 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Eric Hillman, the tallest Met ever prior to Jon Rauch. Tell me his story.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Jan 08 2013 08:09 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Well, Hillman was a decent basketball player but a white supremacist, so it didn't work out for him. Nowadays he spends his days sharing a lot of poorly designed graphics spouting idiotic right-wing stuff on Facebook. Into guns, hates Obama. A real asshole. Danny Heep, you're up.

Swan Swan H Jan 08 2013 08:21 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Well, Hillman was a decent basketball player but a white supremacist, so it didn't work out for him. Nowadays he spends his days sharing a lot of poorly designed graphics spouting idiotic right-wing stuff on Facebook. Into guns, hates Obama. A real asshole. Danny Heep, you're up. You're thinking of Curt Schilling.

Edgy MD Jan 08 2013 11:45 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

You may remember "Reel Around the Fountain" occasionally played at Shea when Danny Heep came to the plate. Heep is a huge Morrissey nut, and up until recently landing a hitting instructor job, spent most of his available time as administrator of Blacker than a Thousand Midnights --- the most comprehensive Morrissey fan site on the World Wide Web. How about that Roger Mason?

dinosaur jesus Jan 08 2013 12:22 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Roger Mason attended the Space Academy, near Atom City, Wyoming, for two years on a baseball scholarship, until the Academy was shut down in the late seventies due to NASA cutbacks. By his own admission a chronic malcontent in those days, he credits classmate (and future governor of Pennsylvania) Tom Corbett for straightening him out. He and future governor Corbett shared many adventures together. One of Roger's special memories is of the time he returned from fighting space pirates in the asteroid belt--to find he was pitching the big game against Utah Valley State that same afternoon! "I hadn't shaved, hadn't showered, I was blistered up and down with radiation burns--but I held them to two runs, and we won that game! I was space happy for a week, let me tell you." Roger still chokes up when hears the "Space Cadet March": From the rocket fields of the Academy To the far flung stars of outer space We are space cadets training to be Ready for dangers we may face. We are space cadets, and we are proud to say Our fight for right will never cease. Like a cosmic ray, we light the way, For interplanet peace!

cooby Jan 08 2013 02:33 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

You guys are funny

Edgy MD Jan 08 2013 02:37 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

But we forget to include names of the next Met.

cooby Jan 08 2013 02:48 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Yikes, and dj doesn't come around very often...

Swan Swan H Jan 08 2013 02:50 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Pick a name, Cooby. DJ won't mind.

cooby Jan 08 2013 02:59 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

How about Vic? He answered one without much credit :)

dinosaur jesus Jan 08 2013 05:23 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Sorry. Tell me some crap about Randy Tate.

RealityChuck Jan 08 2013 07:38 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

After retiring, he moved to London and started collecting art. His galleries are world famous.

Edgy MD Jan 08 2013 07:52 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

And again, please complete by naming another Met.

Kong76 Jan 08 2013 08:32 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Being camp counselor is tough duty sometimes!

Edgy MD Jan 08 2013 08:41 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

"Can't go out tonight, Love. Gotta keep the thread movin'!"

RealityChuck Jan 10 2013 08:38 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Edgy MD wrote: And again, please complete by naming another Met. Oops. I'll go with the immortal Shaun Fitzmaurice

Swan Swan H Jan 10 2013 08:51 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Shaun Fitzmaurice was born Santino Fiandola in Worcester, MA, and as a young teen dreamed of playing football at The University of Notre Dame. Thinking that his name would be a hindrance toward getting accepted, he changed it to one that sounded Fightin' Irish. He was accepted, but quickly realized the error of his ways when he got there and found his roommate was future NFL star Nick Buoniconti. Dave Schneck, if you please.

dinosaur jesus Jan 10 2013 09:36 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

When Dave Schneck was seventeen years old he had a rare neck-shortening operation. At puberty his neck had started growing, and by that point it was two and a half feet long. In addition to the social embarrassment it caused him (his nickname at White Hall High School in Allentown was Periscope Dave), it threatened to derail a promising baseball career; he found it very difficult to keep his eye on the ball. In a six-hour operation, otorhinolaryngologists at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital removed a section of his neck and reattached his head closer to his shoulders (too close, some might say). Aside from some shoulder problems at the beginning of his professional career, the operation was a success. Dave Schneck always makes me think of George Theodore, in a Mutt and Jeff sort of way. So tell me some crap about him.

Farmer Ted Jan 10 2013 11:47 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

George Theodore took top honors in this year’s Mutton Busting sheep rodeo in Greeley, Colorado. Theodore represented Team Don Hahn Crashers en route to the title riding his ewe for a record 43.2 seconds. No stranger to wearing helmets, Theodore affixed a hockey mask to his old New York Mets batting helmet as he has transformed this sport for junior bull riders into a men’s over 6-foot league. “We’re taking a look at other methods to improving this sport, “noted Theodore while donning an RA Dickey t-shirt commemorating his Cy Young award this year. “Jousting, MMA, hookah…they’re all possibilities while bucking these sheep.” The Crashers will appear this Saturday at the Wyoming State Fair in Douglas.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 10 2013 11:57 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

More Met?

Farmer Ted Jan 10 2013 12:12 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Would love to know more about Shawon Dunston, please.

Mets – Willets Point Jan 10 2013 12:25 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jan 10 2013 12:47 PM

Farmer Ted wrote: Would love to know more about Shawon Dunston, please. During an offseason trip to Europe in December 1988, Dunston's flight suffered an unexpected layover in Dublin, Ireland due to bad weather. With nothing else to do Dunston went into town and on a whim decided to see a pantomime show. The show's stage manager, Eamon O'Kiely, was a diehard Cubs fan and recognizing Dunston, invited him on the stage. To the delight of the audience, Dunston spontaneously performed a turkey dance. It's since been said that Dunston's unexpected performance was the inspiration for Irish television's star puppet, Dustin the Turkey. Kelvin Torve.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 10 2013 12:38 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

It's well-established that the George Theodore was nicknamed "The Stork," due to his 6'4" frame and vaguely avian carriage. What's less widely-disseminated is that Kelvin Torve was also called "The Stork," for an entirely different reason. Teenaged Kelvin served as President of his middle-school's 4H club in Rapid City, SD; became a locally-celebrated expert in animal husbandry by 16; and went on to become a trained and certified "Christian midwife" during his years at Oral Roberts University; during his years in the minors, he continued to employ these skills doing offseason obstetric work for extra cash, and kvetching to his family about how unrealistic television birthing scenes seemed. Not only did Torve deliver over 100 babies between 1987 and 1990, he also memorably took home the coveted Baby Catch Championship during the 1991 Mets Family Day picnic, edging three-time champion Kevin Elster with a 37-foot toss of Mark Carreon's six-month-old to do so. What's the deal with Lino Urdaneta?

Lefty Specialist Jan 10 2013 01:02 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Lino Urdaneta's three year run of having a career ERA of infinity (six earned runs in 0.0 innings) came to a screeching halt when he actually recorded three outs for the Mets in 2007. Finding that baseball might not have been his highest calling, he left baseball after the 2007 season to work in Disney World as a character greeter in the Magic Kingdom. On the days when he dons the Buzz Lightyear costume, no truer words are spoken- "To Infinity- And Beyond!" So what's the deal with Rich Puig?

Lefty Specialist Jan 10 2013 01:03 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Why, glad you asked. Rich Puig began a movie career after he left the Mets in 1974. His first screen credit was as 'Movie House Patron' in the Martin Scorsese classic Taxi Driver in 1976. Building on that early success, he soon appeared in a string of hits as 'Cafeteria Dishwasher' in Animal House (1978), 'Angry Husband' in Caddyshack (1980), and perhaps his finest role, 'Stripper #2' in Flashdance (1983). After that, roles became tougher to come by. "I hadn't changed", said Rich, "but the movies did". After a couple of seasons of Summer Stock in the Berkshires, where his portrayal of Titania in Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream is still much discussed, Puig headed for rural Pennsylvania with his wife, the former Fannie Schrute, where today they live a quiet life raising beets on their 400-acre farm outside Scranton. Speaking of beets, whatever happened to Bruce Boisclair?

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 10 2013 01:14 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Worked as a long-haul trucker for 13 years before developing a virulent allergy to air fresheners. Currently working as a bouncer at Pink Sausages Fancy Gentlemen's Club in Clearwater, Florida on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends. On Mondays and Wednesdays, he's a featured dancer, under the name "Bryce." How's life treating Doug Simons?

Swan Swan H Jan 10 2013 02:04 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Doug Simons returned to his native Bakersfield, CA, and opened Buck's Boogie Bar, a honky-tonk dedicated to fellow hometown boy Buck Owens. He makes a few extra bucks by garaging Dwight Yoakam's white Cadillac, which he drives whenever he comes to town. Chip Ambres?

cooby Jan 13 2013 02:34 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Chip Ambres had led a life of mediocrity. A name which doesn’t give a clue. An anonymous pro career. He thought about insurance sales, beer distributorships, gym ownerships-- but finally decided to do what he had always wanted to do but couldn’t tell his family-- Chippendale dancing. “I was born to this. I finally have the courage to sell myself to the audience I want to sell to. And now I’m making a living”. You wouldn't believe how he incorporates a "chip" into his act. Currently on the circuit in the Southern Tier of New York state. I am personally awaiting his tour through my area. My friends and I are hoping he dresses as a Met. Well, except May, who is a Yankee fan. Tell me some poop about Raffy Santana.

Edgy MD Jan 13 2013 03:10 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Rafael Santana was once tasked with carrying the corpse of a dead bird off the field, the unfortunate animal having been felled by a fly ball off the bat of Dion James, leading at least one tasteless announcer to quip that Rafael would want to cook the bird up and eat it. Deeply sensitive, Santana took the crack as a slight to his sophistication, and vowed to put himself on a path of self-improvement. Enrolling in college, Raffy matriculated in a variety of fields before gravitating in the direction of romantic poetry. "It tells us our lives have meaning," the shortstop told George Vescey in 1991, "and that's a good thing to have in a world where birds can just drop out of the sky. Atom bombs, multi-national terrorism networks, global warming.... still we look to the west with wonder." Santana's studies continued well beyond his career, leading to an eventual doctorate and a status of high esteem among his peers with regard to his expertise in the work of William Blake. He holds a professorship at La Pontificia Universidad Católica Madre y Maestra in Santiago de los Caballeros, has published nine scholarly papers, and will be keynoting in February in Santiago, Chile at the Annual Meeting of the Blake Society of Latin America, presenting his paper, "'The Road of Excess: The Yankees and the Persistence of Sin." That's Rafael. Tell me what's little-known about Danny Garcia.

Swan Swan H Jan 13 2013 03:26 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Danny Garcia almost killed a man. Not intentionally, but it was close. Garcia was notorious for staying out well after curfew, and one time he barely got two hours sleep before a day game. Having been used as a pinch-hitter in the seventh inning, Danny decided to head back to the clubhouse for a quick nap. Just a week earlier he was chewed out by Art Howe for dozing at his locker, so he took advantage of his diminutive stature and snuck into a rolling industrial laundry basket filled with towels. You can guess the rest - he slept right through the end of the game, and when the elderly cleaning crew member started loading towels into the washer and Garcia popped up, he nearly had a heart attack. Jesus Alou, anyone?

Lefty Specialist Jan 14 2013 07:10 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Jesus is the 'other one' of the three Alou brothers. Matty became a batting champion. Felipe became a successful manager. Jesus became a Met. After his career ended, he moved to Kansas, where a man with the first name of 'Jesus' is viewed with suspicion and awe. Many sets of trousers were ruined when at state fairs he'd be compelled by drunken louts and overheated preachers to try to walk on water. Finding that his baseball career money was running low, he made a life-changing decision in 1987 when he opened an Arthur Treacher's franchise, finding that he could indeed feed thousands with just a few loaves and fishes. Today, he relaxes in his small retirement bungalow in Lenexa, KS, watching the pinwheels spin on his front lawn and wondering what might have been if he'd only worn inflatable shoes. So I says to myself, "Self", I says, "What about Jim Gosger?"

Edgy MD Jan 14 2013 02:15 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Phone call for Mr. Gosger.

Swan Swan H Jan 14 2013 02:43 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

While waiting for the crap, here's the allegedly true Jim Gosger story we all remember from Ball Four. Then there's the tale Jim Gosger (former outfielder) told about hiding in a closet to shoot a little beaver while his roommate made out in the bed with some local talent. Nothing sneaky about it, the roommate even provided the towel for Gosger to bite on in case he was moved to laughter. At the height of the activity on the bed, local talent, moaning, says, "Oh darling, I've never done it that way before." Whereupon Gosger sticks his head out of the closet and drawls, "Yeah, surre." and retreats in the closet. After he told us the story, "Yeah surrre," became a watchword around the club. "I only had three beers last night." "Yeah, surre."

dinosaur jesus Jan 14 2013 02:53 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

As City Recreation Director in Yale, Michigan, Jim Gosger has pioneered the use of traditional remedies in treating sports injuries. Local residents, including Yale mayor Jim Cronin, swear by Jim and his wife's poultices, tinctures, and salves. Says Cronin, "I'm a handball nut, and Jim's the only guy I'll go to for my sprains and Charley horses. And when I was getting a little overexcited in council meetings a few years ago, dealing with budget cuts and all, Jim was right there with his leeches. Pulled that black bile right out of my system and changed my whole outlook." Now tell me something I don't already know about Carlton Willey.

Lefty Specialist Jan 15 2013 06:53 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

When Carlton Willey left baseball, he joined his brother Robert in opening RC Willey's, a chain of home furnishing stores in the west. A squeaky armoire sold to Richard Nixon, though, landed him on Nixon's famous 'Enemies List', forcing Carlton to flee the country. He traveled the world, selling furniture and befriending dictators. He sold a love chest to Somoza in Nicaragua. A combination sofa/recliner to Agosto Pinochet in Chile. A nine-piece bedroom set with matching headboard to the Shah of Iran. But time and good fortune was running out on Carlton. A deal to sell a butcher block kitchen table to 'Papa Doc' Duvalier in Haiti went sour, and soon he was running for his life from voodoo-wielding priests, his arms and legs burning with pain from unseen needles. Willey spent his last days just over the border in the Dominican Republic, a broken man surrounded by cheap wicker furniture and lumpy mattresses. What's all this then about Desi Relaford?

MFS62 Jan 15 2013 07:54 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Desi was named after tv singer, actor and producer Desi Arnaz. Apparently, show biz was in his blood. After he retired from baseball, he founded 6 Hole Records, a hip-hop record label based in Jacksonville. But he also has Country and Western artists on his label. The most famous is a band called Sludge. Their most popular hits were: She Broke My Heart, So I Broke Her Nose, She Stole My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat, My Truck Is Bigger than Your'n Tell us about Frank Lary. Later

Lefty Specialist Jan 18 2013 02:39 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

When Frank Lary hung them up in 1965, he retired to Mississippi, becoming a lead inserter at the Dixon Ticonderoga factory. The switch to graphite came too late for Frank, and years of lead poisoning took their toll on his higher brain functions. Delusional paranoia and mood swings led him to consider suicide, but when Billy Joe MacAllister tried to talk him out of it he threw him off the Tallahatchie Bridge in a fit of rage and country music angst. Is it true what they've been saying about Mauro Gozzo?

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 18 2013 10:22 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jan 22 2013 10:05 AM

If they're saying that he's a bit of a "comeback kid," then yes. Gozzo famously burned a significant portion of his baseball money swinging and missing with several infomercial products-- including the "Trifling Hoe" Mini-Lawn-Tool Set and the Flow-Pee urinal-attachment for vacuums-- under his "Mauro For Less-O" brand. After losing most of the rest on a joint real-estate venture with the Ventures, Gozzo achieved some level of fame by being the first person to donate his body to medical science while still alive. He has three wives and two kids-- one from each-- and currently splits his time between Boca Raton, FL and Johns Hopkins University. You know what's weird? I could have sworn I saw Mike Bacsik the other day, but it turned out I was just staring in a mirror. What's that 'Sik bastard up to?

cooby Jan 22 2013 08:45 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Mike Bascik grew up in a family of 14 children in rural Texas. His dad ran the local general store, called “Just the Basciks”, where all the kids pitched in to keep the shelves tidy, cans dusted, and apples polished. After winning the Texas lottery, Mr. Bascik closed the store and sent “whichever kid was in 12th grade this year” to college. That kid was Mike Bascik. Never a scholar, Mike feigned illness for one full year until his sister Maribelle was in 12th grade. She got the college money, and Mike got the amateur draft. Maribelle went on to write many children’s and tween books about growing up with all those siblings. They are called “The Bascik Bunch” adventures and are constantly in reprints. Mike toils in the minors. Tell me about Mike Phillips

dinosaur jesus Jan 22 2013 09:20 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Mike Phillips comes from the East Texas branch of the famous Phillips family, other branches of which are known for making screwdrivers, crab cakes, laxatives, and Revel Stoke spiced whiskey. Mike's grandfather, Trank Sr., invented the mechanism that keeps the gas flowing from the pump so you don't have to stand there and hold the handle, but lost the patent to Sunoco through some dealings that remain controversial. Mike attended Phillips Andover as a legacy, but disappointed his family by signing with the Giants rather than going on to Yale. Now what have you got on Mac Scarce?

Lefty Specialist Jan 22 2013 09:42 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Mike Phillips may have hit for the cycle with the Mets, but the truth is that this lifetime .240 hitter was dogged by job insecurity and stress. As his career was winding down in Montreal in the early 80's, he developed erosive gastritis and more than once was unavailable for pinch-hitting duties as he was stranded on the porcelain throne in the clubhouse. Desperate for a cure, he visited noted chemist Merde de Boissons, who gave him a mixture of magnesium hydroxide diluted with water. It worked like a charm! Even his release by the Expos later that month could not upset his digestive system. Phillips threw himself fully into bringing de Boissons' formula to market, and within a year he'd decided on distribution and advertising. The only remaining task was the design of the bottle, and snubbing the Expos, he reached back to his Met days for the distinctive bottle color of.... So what's the poop on Jeff Duncan?

cooby Jan 22 2013 09:57 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Just as an aside....Mike Phillips was my heartthrob while he was with the Mets. The day he hit for the cycle was my 15th or 16th birthday I forget which and to say the least I was enthralled! And two stories about him! Weehoo!

Edgy MD Jan 22 2013 10:00 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

"Happy birthday, Cooby-Coo!"

cooby Jan 22 2013 10:02 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

He still stands the test of time. Sometimes when I look back on my Met crushes I wonder what I was thinking, but Mike was pretty cute.

themetfairy Jan 22 2013 10:08 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Lefty Specialist wrote: So what's the poop on Jeff Duncan? Jeff is hoping that his Duncan's Donuts chain gloms off of Dunkin' Donuts fame. Or at least that his kick-ass latte recipes gives Dunkin' incentive to just buy him out, recipes and all. What's new with Don Hahn?

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 22 2013 12:13 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

His ads-- "The best defense against unwanted hits... comes from a tasty glove"-- may have won several Adult Clio awards for Young and Rubicam, but Don Hahn himself took a major filthy-Jacuzzi bath on his Don Hahn's "Spanish" Condoms, scented to smell and taste like figs, manchego, and various tapas. "Portuguese" Sports Undergarments, "Mexican" Toilet Cleansers, and "El Paragua Sexo" raingear fared no better in the American market, and Hahn was forced to declare bankruptcy in 1986. When bankruptcy court judges could not understand his vaguely-Latin-sounding gibberish delarations, however, Hahn was forced to give up his car, house and famous leather-pants collection for immediate debt settlement. He now freelance-cleans and lingers in women's train-station bathrooms throughout the Southwest, usually with a very defensive look in his eye. What's up with that Jeff Innis cat? I heard he's got a family now?

Edgy MD Jan 22 2013 12:34 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Well, a farce of a family, if that's what you mean. Things went downhill with Mr. and Mrs. Innis ever since he left her pretty fingers lying in the wedding cake. They filed for a joint separation a few years back, with Jeff stating that his wife only loved him when she held him right in her hand, and he'd taken all he could take. Wife Allison, for her part, could only state that the world was killing her. Sad stuff, but the filing apparently came to naught and they continue on living their loveless charade. Hopefully, things are better for... Jorge Fabregas?

John Cougar Lunchbucket Jan 22 2013 12:45 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

You'd think that winning a Latin Grammy for Best Mambo recording in 2009 would make Jorge happy, but "creative differences" with his collaborators and the requisite tensions arising from months on the dance-hall circuit in support of their best-selling recording led to the breakup of Las Balas Brillantes de Mambo (the Gleaming Bullets of Mambo) and Jorge to record a spiteful and hastily produced solo debut ("Ustedes son Buttheads, José y Roberto") that sold poorly and led to his being dropped from his label. At last sighting Jorge was working his way through the Mambo Karaoke bars of Mexico City, and plotting a yet nother comeback. It's hardly been sweet music for Al Luplow lately, has it?

Edgy MD Jan 22 2013 01:16 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

To be fair, José y Roberto haven't exactly been setting the charts on fire either.

MFS62 Jan 22 2013 09:42 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Edgy MD wrote: "Happy birthday, Cooby-Coo!" Its Cooby's Birthday? For real? Nobody started a thread? Happy Birthday, Cooby. You're on a roll in this thread. Later

cooby Jan 23 2013 08:38 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Edgy MD wrote: To be fair, José y Roberto haven't exactly been setting the charts on fire either. No, but "Ustedes son Buttheads" nearly made me spill my coffee. Not my birthday today MFS62, but it was when Mike Phillips hit for the cycle. Thanks anyway :)

Swan Swan H Jan 23 2013 02:51 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Al Luplow didn't have much of a major league career, but he did last for parts of seven seasons in the majors. Baseball, however, was not his passion. What Al lived for was cooking, and when he retired he worked in several diners and coffee shops in his home town of Saginaw, MI, always bringing a little extra to the usual stacks of pancakes and greasy burgers. When Camden Yards opened Al read a story about former O's star Boog Powell opening Boog's Barbecue at the stadium, and a light went on. Realizing that he didn't have name recognition of a Boog Powell, he set his sights a bit lower - Batavia, NY, where he broke in with the Batavia Indians, then in Class D, in 1959. In May of 1995 Luplow's Links opened just inside the main gate of the Clippers' stadium, featuring the Polish Sausage that Al loved as a child, served with the despicable Genesee beer so prominent in the region. The stand remains to this day, dishing out kielbasa, pierogi and some of the heartiest goulash this side of of Warsaw. Jim Bethke?

Frayed Knot Jan 23 2013 06:36 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Having played his entire major league career (all 25 games and 40 innings of it) before he turned 19 y/o and out of the game entirely by age 24, Bethke used the prospect of having his whole life ahead of him to leave his native Nebraska behind and head for the oil rigs of the Gulf Coast. He found the paychecks rewarding and the work dangerous enough to feed the adrenaline rush of his shortened athletic life, but took that attitude a bit too far and before long had lost the gig due to too many incidents during his off-time spent in the bars of Mobile, Biloxi, and New Orleans. Still not yet thirty and looking to start again, Bethke drifted into commercial real estate sales where he finally found his niche. His success was boosted by his talents as a story-teller based mainly on tales from his previous two careers. His favorite for closing a deal was the one where he claimed to have met the songwriter Bob Crewe on a particularly wild night down in old New Orleans and was in fact the guy who had a fling with a hooker named Creole Lady Marmalade and therefore the was the real-life subject of the song. So what ever became of Brent Gaff?

Edgy MD Jan 23 2013 07:55 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Called Buzz Aldrin a liar and a fraud and got his face punched in, did poor misguided Brent Gaff. What was he thinking? Hey, Bartolome Fortunato, surely you did better than Gaff did?

dinosaur jesus Jan 23 2013 08:13 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Early in his pro career, Brent Gaff, a veteran of the thriving Minneapolis punk scene of the late 1970s, moonlighted for a few years as Greg Norton of Hüsker Dü. After day games in Wausau, he would drive the three hours to the Twin Cities and thrash the night away. Promoted to Double A Jackson in 1980, he found himself at a crossroads, having to decide between his two lifelong dreams. A conversation with Mets general manager Frank Cashen helped him break the deadlock. "Brent," said Cashen, "you may never make much money playing for the Mets, but you'll get more pussy than Matt Sinatro." Fortunately, the band was able to move on without him, recruiting newly promoted Twin Frank Viola to be their new Greg Norton. Is it true what they say about Hawk Taylor? OE: Oh crap, I worked on this damn thing for twenty minutes. I tried to get Greg Norton the baseball player in there, and it just wasn't working. So all right, what about Bartolome Fortunato?

Edgy MD Jan 23 2013 08:20 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Go figure. I had Norton pegged for gay. Just goes to show you. You never, never know.

dinosaur jesus Jan 23 2013 08:28 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Well, it's possible that what Cashen said wasn't "pussy."

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 23 2013 09:02 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Against the advice of Spanish authorities, Bartolome took it upon himself to investigate his uncle's Carnival disappearance in Andalusia. Nobody's quite sure what happened to Bart himself after he discovered that hidden chapel in the network of catacombs below Cordoba, but legend has it that whatever happened to him, it did not smell very nice. Speaking of which, did you catch a whiff of what happened to that bastard Blaine Beatty? Can you believe how things wound up there?

MFS62 Jan 24 2013 11:04 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Blaine Beatty was a soft tossing lefty pitcher who had some success in the minors. The success never followed him up to higher levels. He became a pitching coach, but could not gain respect when the other pitchers saw how weak his arm was. He decided to strengthen his arm and enrolled in a series of body building programs to build up his arm strength. But he became so muscle bound that he could no longer throw a baseball. But Blaine is still pitching. For the last five years he has worked as a bouncer, throwing drunks out of a dockside strip club in Bayonne New Jersey. Tell us about Sherman "Roadblock" Jones. Later

cooby Jan 24 2013 08:13 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Sherman "Roadblock" Jones had a better life after he left the Mets, including a stint in the Kansas City Police Department, Senate, and House of Representatives. He didn’t bring up the fact that his ancestors arrived on the Mayflower, probably because he did not know it. I, however, discovered it while doing research for this thread. His family tree also shows ties to Cary Grant, Princess Diana, Andrew Jackson, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, and Geronimo. After his career in politics had ended, he started a small tree farm and Chinese herb store in Kansas. The motto of his company was “We put the Road in your Block”. There was a local contest trying to figure out the meaning to this slogan, but unfortunately the meaning died with him, as his death occurred before the entries were read. Howzabout Don Zimmer?

Edgy MD Jan 24 2013 09:05 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

There's little that one might conceive as unknown about the Zim. He's got a metal plate or two in his head. He simultaneously did endorsements for a diet program and a fried chicken chain. He quit the Yankees in a principled protest over their treatment of Joe Torre, but (1) Joe did not, and (2) when he quit, he stayed quit, unlike Yogi. What you don't know: Zim is a sucker for doomsday theories. He has been known to stay up half the night looking for Internet reports of signs in the sky, and has twice given his belongings away to prepare for The End. Rocco Baldelli privately recalled visiting Tampa one offseason and seeing a poorly kempt man on the street with a "Prepare --- The End Is NYE" poster. He said he wouldn't have even looked twice, but the strange spelling intrigued him, and then he suddenly recognized the elderly baseball legend! He wrestled the old Gerbil into a cab (which would have been even harder if he wasn't weakened by his Doomsday Diet), and got him to the ballpark, where he and an assistant trainer who happened to be at Tropicana Field that day started filling the old guy up with chicken and SlimFast until he started to make sense. His family began a gradual intervention, disallowed unsupervised Internet use, and gradually he got his shit back together, and everybody breathed a sigh of relief when Popeye let the reputed date of the Mayan Apocalypse pass without going back off the deep end. Score one for Dr. Phil! Zim's a cat who has always landed on his feet, as he did again this time, with his Doomsday Diet Cookbook currently at #3 on the New York Times Bestseller List. The great Pedro Martinez, we know, recently joined the Red Sox front office. But damned if I know what's happened to the not-so-great Pedro Martinez. Could anybody fill me in?

cooby Feb 10 2013 08:39 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

It took a while for Pedro to get back to my email, but finally he answered and said "I'm okay cooby, just a little waterlogged...". It seems he has started a waterpark in Erie PA, affiliated with the Holiday Inn there. Pedro, God love his heart, did not realize just how poor an investment of a waterpark in Erie, Pa would be, and has moved his family there. At least it's indoors. Though I am proud to say that Pedro is a fellow PA'ian, I think I might have to *coff* politely and abstain from commenting on his newfound career when he asks my opinion. http://www.splashlagoon.com/ Tell me what Ed Kranepool has been up to!

Edgy MD Feb 10 2013 09:35 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

A native New Yorker, Ed has long entertained a fascination with the Seneca people, willing to bend an ear on the subject with any willing or occasionally not-so-willing listener. Even during his career, his interviews were peppered with curious non-sequiters like, "You think John Montefusco was tough today? Let me take you up to Schuyler County and introduce you to a people who will make you re-think the meaning of the word tough." Given the freer time of his post-baseball career, and the healthy returns of his wise investments, Ed's post-baseball career has allowed him to indulge his passion more zealously, and he's published scholarly papers and presented at learned symposia of esteemed anthropologists. Fiercely devoted to the truth of a people he called The Bane of the Huron, Ed would even lock horns with actual Seneca researchers, making his interest something of a mixed blessing to surviving tribesmen and women. The nation nonetheless saw the virtue in having a modestly high profile ex-ballplayers telling their story, and Ed became in 1998 the first man claiming no Seneca blood to be honored with admission into the Order of Red Jacket. Tom Grieve has had a long and industrious career with the Rangers as a player, executive, and broadcaster, with that affiliation only briefly interrupted by a relatively brief association with the 1978 Mets. But I know next to nothing about his non-baseball life. Why is that?

Edgy MD Feb 10 2013 09:36 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

A native New Yorker, Ed has long entertained a fascination with the Seneca people, willing to bend an ear on the subject with any willing or occasionally not-so-willing listener. Even during his career, his interviews were peppered with curious non-sequiters like, "You think John Montefusco was tough today? Let me take you up to Schuyler County and introduce you to a people who will make you re-think the meaning of the word tough." Given the freer time of his post-baseball career, and the healthy returns of his wise investments, Ed's "retirement" has allowed him to indulge his passion more zealously, and he's published scholarly papers and presented at learned symposia of esteemed anthropologists. Fiercely devoted to the truth about a people he calls The Bane of the Huron, Ed would even lock horns with actual native Seneca researchers, making his interest something of a mixed blessing to surviving tribesmen and women. The nation nonetheless saw the virtue in having a (modestly) high-profile ex-ballplayer telling its story, and Ed became in 1998 the first man claiming no Seneca blood to be honored with admission into the Order of Red Jacket. Tom Grieve has had a long and industrious career with the Rangers as a player, executive, and broadcaster, with that affiliation only briefly interrupted by a relatively brief association with the 1978 Mets. But I know next to nothing about his non-baseball life. Why is that?

Kong76 Feb 10 2013 09:54 PM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Scrabble

Lefty Specialist Feb 12 2013 11:20 AM Re: Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

Tom Grieve was pretty much running on fumes when he got to the 1978 Mets. After his career, he returned to Texas to take up a job installing cattle horns on the hoods of El Dorados and Chrysler Imperials. It was there that he was discovered by a casting director for Dallas, where he spent four years as Shale McRigg, J.R. Ewing's nemesis. After the producers killed him off in a bizarre backflow valve 'accident' orchestrated by J.R., Grieve wandered the Hollywood studios looking for someone to give him an acting gig. But the typecasting was too strong; to make ends meet, he was forced to sell maps to the stars' homes and make balloon animals dressed as a clown for childrens' birthday parties. Finally Dallas was renewed and Grieve thought his prayers might be answered, since dead people reappear on soap operas all the time. But alas, all he could get was the part of 'Clown who scares little kids at J.R.'s great-grandson's birthday party'. So what's the 411 on Chin-lung Hu?