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Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends 2013

metirish Jan 21 2013 10:16 AM

So tired of seeing posts like this on my FB feed.......a friend I grew up with and now lives in Stamford linked this picture.... He linked the image from this girls page, she could do with reading a few books. https://www.facebook.com/cdmaxwell

Ceetar Jan 21 2013 11:20 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

This could easily become a meme. What book should I photoshop him reading?

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 21 2013 09:31 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

To Serve Americankind

Ceetar Jan 22 2013 06:46 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: To Serve Americankind you know, I was thinking about this last night and figured to Serve Man would be a fun choice.

Edgy MD Jan 22 2013 07:31 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I'm just glad to finally know what POST means.

Ceetar Jan 22 2013 07:39 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Edgy MD wrote: I'm just glad to finally know what POST means. me too, I always thought it meant "Bobby Ojeda yelling a lot"

Benjamin Grimm Jan 22 2013 07:41 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I think the most interesting thing about that photo is that the President uses his index finger as a bookmark.

Edgy MD Jan 22 2013 07:46 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Ceetar wrote: This could easily become a meme. What book should I photoshop him reading? My guess is that it's probably not a photoshop. The deception is really in the description. I'm not a Zakaria guy, but the book was a NYT bestseller, and if the president is reading it, that would hardly place him out of the mainstream. I'm not sure how to characterize Zakaria's faith, but he seems more like an a-religious guy from a Muslim family. I know he went to Christian schools.

Ceetar Jan 22 2013 07:48 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Edgy MD wrote: Ceetar wrote: This could easily become a meme. What book should I photoshop him reading? My guess is that it's probably not a photoshop. The deception is really in the description. I'm not a Zakaria guy, but the book was a NYT bestseller, and if the president is reading it, that would hardly place him out of the mainstream. I'm not sure how to characterize Zakaria's faith, but he seems more like an a-religious guy from a Muslim family. I know he went to Christian schools. no no, I get that. I mean, if people are freaking out about it, it's the perfect photo for others to photoshop him reading ridiculous books, like "To Serve Man" or "I Can Read With My Eyes Shut"

seawolf17 Jan 22 2013 08:12 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I'm intrigued. Requested it from the library.

cooby Jan 22 2013 08:25 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

That's the sort of crap picture my one nephew (married into the family) posts on his facebook page, so I unfriended him! So there! Haha!

Mets – Willets Point Jan 22 2013 08:34 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

So tired of seeing posts like this on my FB feed.......a friend I grew up with and now lives in Stamford linked this picture.... He linked the image from this girls page, she could do with reading a few books. https://www.facebook.com/cdmaxwell This is an old photo, from the 2008 campaign. Snopes is all over it if you want more details. Not that any of this will convince the ignorant, hateful people who spread lies and bullshit.

metsmarathon Jan 22 2013 09:17 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

even if hte book was what it is purported to be, wouldn't i rather my president read that than a book titled "america is perfect and always will be, and can never ever do anything wrong, no matter what it does" well, ok, a lot of that would probably be in a subtitle, but you get the idea.

Mets – Willets Point Jan 22 2013 09:33 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jan 30 2013 08:25 PM

metsmarathon wrote: even if hte book was what it is purported to be, wouldn't i rather my president read that than a book titled "america is perfect and always will be, and can never ever do anything wrong, no matter what it does" well, ok, a lot of that would probably be in a subtitle, but you get the idea. You mean this book?

themetfairy Jan 22 2013 10:10 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Or this one -

metirish Jan 30 2013 04:42 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

How tired are you of the "Mom/Dad says if I get 1 million " likes" I can get a dog/cat/cat etc"?

Edgy MD Jan 30 2013 05:06 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Somebody (high school classmate) posted a hateful "story" about an 11-year-old girl blowing away the "illegal immigrants" who invaded her home. I tried to report that it was a hateful hoax with the Snopes link and all, and got ripped by her daughter because I'm "negative."

Mets – Willets Point Jan 30 2013 06:30 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Edgy MD wrote: Somebody (high school classmate) posted a hateful "story" about an 11-year-old girl blowing away the "illegal immigrants" who invaded her home. I tried to report that it was a hateful hoax with the Snopes link and all, and got ripped by her daughter because I'm "negative." Wow, that's a right-wing double-whammy with a false story to buck up gun-ownership rights and discrimination against Hispanic immigrants at the same time.

Edgy MD Jan 30 2013 06:38 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Yeah, I'm going to have to whistle you for that. Calling hate hateful is apparently "being negative" these days. Funny thing is that the chick and her daughter now have the last name of another highschool classmate of mine. So if I don't shut up, I'm going to be in a lot of trouble at the next re-union.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 30 2013 08:08 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I'd just pass on any invites to their house you may receive, Nelly.

d'Kong76 Jan 30 2013 08:22 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I'm probably the most not anti-gun guy here, but I got a friend's cousin who I'm fb friends with who has for the last three weeks posts like a dozen crazy-assed pics and links every day ... 'fraid may see him on the news lol.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Jan 30 2013 10:10 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

One of my pals quit fb over the weekend in a huff when, according to him, a post encouraging "our Villian in Chief" to "rot in hell" was rejected by Facebook censors. Crazy thing is, he only ranks about 10th or 12th in overall whackjobbiness among my rightwing lunatic Facebook buddies. No. 1 Whackjob Lunatic I realized today subtly changed the spelling of his last name on fb, I presume so as not to get caught posting the volume of bullshit he does.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 30 2013 10:12 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I've asked before, and I'll ask again: from where do you guys know these people, and why haven't you blocked them/minimized their presence in your feed?

Edgy MD Jan 30 2013 10:33 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

This was some chick I knew in high school. Didn't know she had lost her marbles to hate. Get plenty of LW irrationality too. I mean to find a delicate way to stay engaged on either side. I don't give an ideological shit, if we can just stick to honest facts and decency. Folks need to stand down in this country AND I'M JUST THE MARTYR TO GET THEM THERE. I'm from Nassau. I know plenty of Republicans. I'm from DC. I know plenty of Democrats. Two of my closest high school buddies live in Georgia now, and apparently have spent their time down there listening to Libertarian talk radio, 'cuz do they ever hate their gummint and the sleezy society it represents.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Jan 31 2013 05:17 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: I've asked before, and I'll ask again: from where do you guys know these people, and why haven't you blocked them/minimized their presence in your feed? I gotta admit it, I like the material it gives. Most of my lunatics I know are guys I knew from high school and college.

Edgy MD Jan 31 2013 06:21 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

My friends are both makers and takers!

metirish Jan 31 2013 07:58 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: I've asked before, and I'll ask again: from where do you guys know these people, and why haven't you blocked them/minimized their presence in your feed? I gotta admit it, I like the material it gives. Most of my lunatics I know are guys I knew from high school and college. I think quite a bit of this stuff shows up not necessarily because a "friend" posted it but they "liked" it.

d'Kong76 Jan 31 2013 08:56 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

It's so over-the-top ya just gotta sit and laugh. I'm just not compulsive in my beliefs about just about anything. Well, the Mets need some outfielders but that's important!

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 31 2013 10:27 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

THE METS NEED OUTFIELDERS AND THAT IS EVERYTHING.

d'Kong76 Jan 31 2013 12:45 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I was eating breakfast with my 10 year old daughter this morning and asked if she knew why she's off next Monday? She's a smart kid and replied, "It's Presidents Day!" I asked her what Presidents Day means. She thought about it, I figured she'd say something about Washington or Lincoln. She replied, "Presidents Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow we have four more years of bullshit!"

metsmarathon Feb 06 2013 08:51 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

dave the dumb guy looks like a dick.

themetfairy Feb 08 2013 08:36 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Embarrassing story time. Gather 'round. Went out to dinner in town last Saturday with the whole family. When we pulled up to the restaurant, my husband suggested I race inside to see if there would be a wait for a table. Yes, I was told by the aloof hostess that my hungry family would be waiting up to 90 minutes! I ran back out to the parking lot to my waiting family who were still in the car. I grabbed the door handle of the car that I thought was mine, stuck my head in and screamed bitchily that there's no way we're waiting 90 minutes -- and I realized to my horror, that I was talking a stranger! The curly haired man with a mustache in the driver's seat was NOT my husband and he was terrified by me! I shrieked quickly and ran into the darkness! I'm still laughing!

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Feb 08 2013 11:06 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Clever friend from Philly wrote: " I need 50 dollas to make you challah." - gourmet early 90s radio hip hop baker.

Methead Feb 08 2013 11:34 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Fundamentalist Right-Wing Truck Driver wrote: "Mr. President. Don't take our guns while you support terrorism. Oh, let's not forget the drug cartels that you also supported. Take our guns and give them to the Mexican cartels!!!!! What the H*** are you thinking? That's right. You hate everything America stands for. That's why you are changing it from the inside out. They always said that it would have to be an inside job.

themetfairy Feb 08 2013 11:45 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: Clever friend from Philly wrote: " I need 50 dollas to make you challah." - gourmet early 90s radio hip hop baker. With some Jewish guilt thrown in!

Fman99 Feb 08 2013 01:34 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

metsmarathon wrote: dave the dumb guy looks like a dick. That was, to the best of my knowledge, an unintentional consequence. But my brother was quick to point out that comparison.

themetfairy Feb 10 2013 06:33 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Wow, Adele was wearing my grandparents couch material. She took the Grammys memo to the highest level. Ha

themetfairy Feb 13 2013 09:02 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

This is a nice one from my friend (the same one with the wrong car story) - Uplifting commuter story below! Here's the note I sent to the parking authority: This a note to praise Kenny who was working this morning at the Vaghn parking lot at the train station. After paying my $5.00 for parking, I forgot to grab my change from my $20.00 bill. Unaware, I parked and began to walk to the train station. I saw a car pull over by the sidewalk, and through the open passenger window, a man (who later told me his name is Kenny) asked what car I had driven (in an attempt to figure out if I was the right airhead who forgot her change). In that moment, I realized that I did indeed forget my change and that this man was so kind to try to find me and give me my $15.00! Kenny's thoughtfulness, honesty and his energy to find me are commendable. This small act restores my faith in humanity as I see there still are nice people in this crazy, busy world we live in! What makes us a civilized people? It's people like Kenny acting selflessly, doing the right thing, and working hard! I wish we had more Kenny's! Hopefully he has lots of kids and maybe grandkids to whom he has taught who his superior ethics! In the spirit of our upcoming holiday, President's day, and good old "Honest Abe", please join me as I applaud Kenny! Please forward to anyone who is in the position to promote Kenny, give him a raise or at least buy him an amazing dinner! Warm regards, A**** R***, uplifted commuter

cooby Feb 13 2013 09:36 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Your friend is having a bad week. But I am still laughing at that first story...

themetfairy Feb 13 2013 11:10 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Nah - she's doing ok. She's one of the nicest, most upbeat people I know :)

Edgy MD Feb 14 2013 09:28 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Web Ad Designer Guy wrote: Great ad. And they saved on the photo shoot by re-using the set from Triumph of the Will.

Mets – Willets Point Feb 14 2013 10:04 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Edgy MD wrote: Web Ad Designer Guy wrote: Great ad. And they saved on the photo shoot by re-using the set from Triumph of the Will. I suppose both buildings owe their architectural inspiration to the Roman Colliseum, but yeah there's some eerie similarity.

d'Kong76 Feb 16 2013 02:43 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Anyone know what the annoying friend request thing is to play "I wanna add your birthday" is? I stay away from most of the crap, but I'm curious. And my birthday is in my profile anyways.

Mets – Willets Point Feb 16 2013 03:00 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I always stay away from those things to. It seems like it's just an app that's just gathering info for nefarious purposes.

metsmarathon Feb 22 2013 08:24 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

mc donalds just posted an ad in my feed for some lifeless $1 burger topped with cheese and onions. mcdonalds wrote: "The only way to stop salivating is to bite into the real thing." metsmarathon wrote: "It looks yummy until you try it" only it really does not look yummy, and i will almost surely never try it.

d'Kong76 Feb 24 2013 03:55 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

"American troops please come home! We need you to save us from our government!"

Edgy MD Feb 24 2013 05:18 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Yeah, that's how it works.

d'Kong76 Feb 24 2013 06:05 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

You tell him .. he's heavily armed

Ceetar Feb 25 2013 10:30 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Friend of mine from college that I haven't really talked to since wrote: So, yes, I am crazy, but I'm going to try, once again, to play AND contain the crazy... Farmville. The original. If you still play, let me know. I'm playing my home farm only. If I've mastered it, I'm cutting down to only 2 specimens (trees), I'm growing crops to be able to use my bakery, and I'm breeding sheep. Breeding sheep, baking and trees are what I love about farmville. So I am limited myself to these. But let me know if you're still playing, so that I can send you gifts, and we can trade parts for upgrading buildings.

Mets – Willets Point Feb 25 2013 10:34 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

That's someone who put a lot of thought into Farmville.

seawolf17 Feb 25 2013 10:43 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I played Farmville for roughly one day until I realized it was the least productive timewaster imaginable.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Feb 25 2013 10:57 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Yeah you should play Scrabble instead (nudge)

Edgy MD Mar 06 2013 10:45 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

People aren't re-posting your angry screeds? How sad! Why not attribute them to Bill Cosby?

Benjamin Grimm Mar 12 2013 11:21 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Facebook 'Likes' can reveal sexual orientation, intelligence, study says Originally published: March 12, 2013 10:11 AM Updated: March 12, 2013 12:13 PM By KEN SCHACHTER kenneth.schachter@cablevision.com Digital sleuths can forecast a person's sexual orientation, ethnicity, religious views and illicit drug use simply by analyzing their Facebook "Likes," according to a new study. The research by scientists at the University of Cambridge and Microsoft Research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on Monday found that their mathematical model correctly labeled men as heterosexual or homosexual 88 percent of the time and Democrat or Republican in 85 percent of the cases. Women's sexual orientation was tougher to pin down, with only 75 percent accuracy, researchers found. The research was conducted by studying 58,000 volunteers, who took psychometric tests and provided their Facebook "likes" and detailed demographic profiles. Facebook was founded by Mark Zuckerberg, who attended Ardsley High School and grew up in Dobbs Ferry. A Facebook co-founder, Chris Hughes, publisher of The New Republic, has a Putnam County home with his husband, Sean Eldridge, president of venture capital firm Hudson River Ventures. Researchers found that those with high intelligence were likely to "Like" "Thunderstorms," "The Colbert Report," "Science" and "Curly Fries." Low intelligence was correlated with "Sephora," "I Love Being a Mom," "Harley-Davidson" and "Lady Antebellum," according to the study. "Good predictors of male homosexuality included 'No H8 Campaign,' 'Mac Cosmetics' and 'Wicked The Musical,' whereas strong predictors of male heterosexuality included 'Wu-Tang Clan,' 'Shaq' and 'Being Confused After Waking Up From Naps,'" the study said. I'd be curious to filter my "likes" through their survey to see what their conclusions are. Are they implying that stupid people are more likely to enjoy motherhood? Even the perception of that can get them into some hot water!

themetfairy Mar 12 2013 11:38 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Well, whoever keeps sending me spam about, um, Valdesac enlargement certainly guessed me wrong....

metsmarathon Mar 12 2013 11:55 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Facebook 'Likes' can reveal sexual orientation, intelligence, study says Originally published: March 12, 2013 10:11 AM Updated: March 12, 2013 12:13 PM By KEN SCHACHTER kenneth.schachter@cablevision.com Digital sleuths can forecast a person's sexual orientation, ethnicity, religious views and illicit drug use simply by analyzing their Facebook "Likes," according to a new study. The research by scientists at the University of Cambridge and Microsoft Research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on Monday found that their mathematical model correctly labeled men as heterosexual or homosexual 88 percent of the time and Democrat or Republican in 85 percent of the cases. Women's sexual orientation was tougher to pin down, with only 75 percent accuracy, researchers found. The research was conducted by studying 58,000 volunteers, who took psychometric tests and provided their Facebook "likes" and detailed demographic profiles. Facebook was founded by Mark Zuckerberg, who attended Ardsley High School and grew up in Dobbs Ferry. A Facebook co-founder, Chris Hughes, publisher of The New Republic, has a Putnam County home with his husband, Sean Eldridge, president of venture capital firm Hudson River Ventures. Researchers found that those with high intelligence were likely to "Like" "Thunderstorms," "The Colbert Report," "Science" and "Curly Fries." Low intelligence was correlated with "Sephora," "I Love Being a Mom," "Harley-Davidson" and "Lady Antebellum," according to the study. "Good predictors of male homosexuality included 'No H8 Campaign,' 'Mac Cosmetics' and 'Wicked The Musical,' whereas strong predictors of male heterosexuality included 'Wu-Tang Clan,' 'Shaq' and 'Being Confused After Waking Up From Naps,'" the study said. I'd be curious to filter my "likes" through their survey to see what their conclusions are. Are they implying that stupid people are more likely to enjoy motherhood? Even the perception of that can get them into some hot water! i think hte inference is that smart mothers don't need to like "i love being a mom" but dumb ones may. its probably also true, in the general sense, that smart people do not send out nearly as much share-spam as dumb ones. except those smart ones who share-spam george takei.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 12 2013 12:17 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

metsmarathon wrote: its probably also true, in the general sense, that smart people do not send out nearly as much share-spam as dumb ones. except those smart ones who share-spam george takei. I want to click to like this statement.

SteveJRogers Mar 12 2013 12:29 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Researchers found that those with high intelligence were likely to "Like" "Thunderstorms," "The Colbert Report," "Science" and "Curly Fries." Love to know how liking a popular satirist equals having high intelligence. Ditto Curly Fries.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Mar 12 2013 10:29 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Well, then, you'll have to apply for a grant yourself. Correlation, brother... correlation.

Edgy MD Mar 23 2013 03:25 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Mama just peed 100ccs without the aid of a catheter!

metsmarathon Apr 16 2013 03:10 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Mega ultra thumbs up and good job to all the EMTs, police, fire AMD regular citizens who reacted quickly to save the lives of hundreds of innocent people in Boston yesterday. Bad job to the federal government who not only didn't see it coming or prevent it from happening but are also using it for political gains and as an excuse to take away freedoms and raise taxes. WE DON'T NEED YOU, WE DON'T WANT YOU. We do better on our own oh, sigh. if the fbi finds the guy and brings him to justice, do you think they'll get a thank you?

Edgy MD Apr 16 2013 03:28 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I don't know what to do, but the lunatic fringe is seemingly growing every day. These crackpots were publishing screeds about the gummint lying about the bombings before any government official said anything. They crashed not one, but two Deval Patrick press conferences. They deserved harsh ejections, but martyring them with rudeness would of course... prove there's a conspiracy... and grow the crackpot movement. I think maybe Buzz Aldrin punching the moon landing denier is the only answer. Have bad-assed old men hunt these assholes down and give them humiliating old-man punches. I don't know what's got me to this point.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Apr 16 2013 05:00 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

That could work. Old men are strong. On the plus side, there's new-to-me vocab-- I am going to drop "false flag" into EVERY football-related conversation I have this fall.

seawolf17 Apr 16 2013 06:16 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I don't know about "growing." There have always been crackpots, it's just that there are (a) more people out there now, just in volume; and (b) more media channels for them to publish their rantings and screeds, so (c) they find each other easier. They're more dangerous now because of those things, though.

Benjamin Grimm Apr 17 2013 06:10 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

seawolf17 wrote: (b) more media channels for them to publish their rantings and screeds, so (c) they find each other easier. That's my theory as well.

Edgy MD Apr 17 2013 07:30 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Finding each other easier, I would think, helps the movement grow. And the backing of a yahooing group emboldens stupid action and lures in lonely outsiders as surely as if it was eighth grade all over again. Remember when "Bababooey" giggling Sternheads were crashing every media event? How embarrassing to say I want those days back.

The Second Spitter Apr 17 2013 08:06 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Piece of shit organization is still a piece of shit.

Edgy MD Apr 17 2013 08:14 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

That reads like a one-sentence description of a movie. Clear and Present Danger, perhaps.

The Second Spitter Apr 17 2013 08:33 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

The Social Network, actually.

Mets – Willets Point Apr 18 2013 12:01 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

My friend who ran the marathon posted this on Monday: I'm so thankful for the amazing spectators today (Brazilians in Framingham, Wellesley College students, and Boston College students--in addition to my friends and family who turned out in full force) who distracted me enough to be a safe 1km from the scene of the explosions. I didn't get to cross the finish line, but I am thankful to be alive. May the deceased rest in peace, may my beloved Boston heal quickly, and may we not return to the post-9/11 racial profiling state. Love you all.

themetfairy Apr 18 2013 04:38 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

4 mile run DONE. Not uneventful however. Was attacked by a goose. A big one. It was in the middle of the towpath - it tried to bite me but I ran around it. It then slammed me in the middle of the back and beat on me with it's wings. It then somehow launched itself over my head and landed in front of me facing me - like some ninja goose! Then it flew at me and I mostly dodged it - it got my arm and my Garmin's all muddy. Then it flew at me from behind again and hit me in the head! Glad I was wearing a hat! At that point I decided, broken ankle or no broken ankle, time to do some speed work! And I just kept thinking, "I'm not looking for trouble!". The back of my shirt's all muddy too. I just hope the Princeton crew team didn't see it - I'm sure it was hilarious! And the bad part was this happened on my way out, I then had to turn around after a mile or so and head back, past it again but it stayed cool that time.

Edgy MD Apr 19 2013 10:45 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Lenny Randle and Kourtney Kardash?an are now friends. I've got a good feeling!

themetfairy May 08 2013 02:38 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

When my agent contacted me about an audition in NYC today, I excitedly did my nails, bought a new outfit complete with shoes, styled my hair and fought the crowd in the Penns Station restroom for a bit of mirror to put on my make up as close to my appt time as possible to look fresh. When I got there, I found it was a voice over!

Swan Swan H May 14 2013 06:21 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

There once was a man From Nantucket who preferred Haiku to limericks

Chad Ochoseis May 14 2013 07:16 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I'm calling foul on the extra syllable. But that's still brilliant.

Benjamin Grimm May 15 2013 09:02 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Is "limericks" a two- or three-syllable word? I pronounce it with two, but that may just be vocal laziness.

Edgy MD May 15 2013 09:04 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

It's three, though obviously abbreviated frequenlty by our lazy tounges. A better execution might have been to abbreviate it to "Lim'ricks."

Mets – Willets Point May 22 2013 08:18 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

funny Trekkie friend wrote: "Star Trek" is all about progress: now we've got the whitest man on the planet playing a Mexican playing an Asian.

Edgy MD May 22 2013 08:33 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Now I get it.

cooby May 29 2013 03:49 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I was pretty excited for a minute because on facebook one of my notifications was that "Carlos Baerga has tagged you in a photo you are in". It's not me though, it's some guy singing.

themetfairy Jun 02 2013 07:13 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Never been slapped so hard in my life! Girl: Omg you aren't my cheating boyfriend, I am so sorry! Me: No shit.

Edgy MD Jun 18 2013 09:59 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Consecutive stati: Mark Foster wrote: Lebron is choking!! Claire McMahon wrote: saved a choking man at work today.

Ceetar Jun 18 2013 10:07 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Edgy MD wrote: Consecutive stati: Mark Foster wrote: Lebron is choking!! Claire McMahon wrote: saved a choking man at work today. coincidental, as according to Twitter Lebron is no longer choking. (of course, I was sure the game was actually over before based on Twitter, so who knows)

metirish Jun 19 2013 07:36 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

This is hilarious......cousin in Syracuse, big MFY fan Wanted to do something special for my hero Mickey mantel the guy at @lids messed it up and made the scripture crooked @yesnetwork Um, yeah, it was pointed out that the 1955 is wrong......douche

Mets – Willets Point Jun 19 2013 07:38 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

The scripture? The Gospel according to Mick?

metirish Jun 19 2013 07:40 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Mets – Willets Point wrote: The scripture? The Gospel according to Mick? I know, so many things wrong here.....he tried to act like he knew the 1955 should have been 1995......he didn't.....eegit.

Edgy MD Jul 08 2013 11:16 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Restoration Architect Friend wrote: Dear Pixar, In regards to your "Blue Umbrella" short that opens "Monsters University." Your previous oeuvre has made it difficult for me to discard toys, desk lamps or elderly automobiles. You have now anthropomorphized downspout boots, commercial storefront systems, leaky gutter ends, and sidewalk access panels. I fear I will now have a sentimental reluctance to remove and replace these essential architectural accessories- a basic part of my job. When will your tyranny of sympathetic characterization end?

Fman99 Aug 03 2013 08:01 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Douchey YLDB Neighbor and Fboy's Former Little League Coach wrote: Just for the record. PISS on A'Rod. He was never a Yankee and never will be a Yankee!!!!!! Give him whatever suspension, he don't care and neither do Yankee fans Do you think he was bitching about him in 2009?

Mets – Willets Point Aug 13 2013 09:36 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I love that these two status updates are sequential (note: the names are anonymized).

Edgy MD Aug 13 2013 10:07 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I hate when folks toadle my tea.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Aug 13 2013 10:16 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Adds a nice lipsmack to some of 'em.

dgwphotography Aug 13 2013 11:00 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

If people keep doing shots at 10am, they will eventually croak...

themetfairy Aug 13 2013 11:06 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

As opposed to the rest of the population that will never croak.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Aug 13 2013 11:19 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Sometimes, they just get a little horny.

SteveJRogers Aug 13 2013 08:55 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

dgwphotography wrote: If people keep doing shots at 10am, they will eventually croak... Its 5 o'clock somewhere...

metirish Sep 23 2013 11:05 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

So many things wrong with this status update....my cousin in Ireland, her spelling is awful, obviously. cud really do with a bita luck so fingers an toes crossed for me today an d rest to cum....god is good so d mother says

Fman99 Oct 07 2013 08:59 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

One of my coworkers posted this photo of his roommate and her child while on vacation. This is a pop culture thing -- this will either make no sense to you or immediately be quite funny. Fman funny coworker friend wrote: Master Blaster run Barter town!

d'Kong76 Oct 18 2013 08:46 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Worm tacos ... muchas protein!

Edgy MD Nov 15 2013 10:07 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

A Mole I Know Who Is Perhaps Not Quite as Young as Some wrote: OK, somehow I got tagged on this, so here are ten things you don't know about me. 1. I've never read Moby Dick. 2. You might know this about me if you've seen me in the last month, but otherwise no. About a month ago it suddenly hit me that I was 73 years old, and it was time for me to stop dressing like a junior high school student, so now when I leave the house, I wear an Oxford shirt and a jacket -- and make sure I've shaved, which I guess a junior high school student wouldn't do. 3. I set out to master every genre of the written word. 4. When I put my puppy to bed at night, I talk to her the way you'd talk to a baby, and then I weep a little for all my babies that are grown now. 5. My prep school years remain the worst time of my life. 6. One of the best times of my life was playing regular pickup ice hockey games when I was living in New York in the Seventies. We'd rent ice time at a suburban rink, which you could only do at 2 in the morning, and play for two hours, then go home and get a couple hours sleep before going to work. Hockey was so fast, and so physical, you played it on these blades which keep you an inch off the ground, and you cannot be anywhere except in that moment. It was the closest I've ever come to satori. 7. I'm still passionately in love with my wife. 8. My most rewarding work experience ever was teaching college courses in prison. 9. I dropped a playpen on my toe a couple of weeks ago, and it still hurts. 10. I became a baseball fan when I was ten years old, living in Rome. I'm not quite sure why. The Rome Daily American didn't even publish box scores, much less stories about the games. Just line scores, and standings. But I started following them every day, and became a fan of the Brooklyn Dodgers because I liked the sound of the name. When I came back to the States the next year, I began a lifelong career as a baseball fan.

Benjamin Grimm Nov 15 2013 10:18 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Facebook would be a much better place if everything on it was that good.

Edgy MD Nov 18 2013 07:51 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Whoah. I heard that Justin Timberlake/Jay-Z song in the deli. That is a new high for dogshit. Come on, pop music, up your game a little.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Nov 18 2013 11:14 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I understand-- and partly share-- the song-specific sentiment. But "new high for dogshit" probably isn't the clearest way to convey the idea.

Edgy MD Dec 05 2013 10:45 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I got that too. Just after watching Jim Gaffigan's defends of McDonald's too.

themetfairy Dec 05 2013 11:22 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I deleted my post, which is why Edgy's reply doesn't make sense.

Edgy MD Dec 05 2013 11:31 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I'm going to leave it there for absurdity's sake.

Ceetar Dec 05 2013 11:32 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

yeah, but what did you do with all that whipped cream?

themetfairy Dec 05 2013 01:14 PM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

Left it for the penguin, of course!

Ceetar Dec 27 2013 07:36 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

College Floormate wrote: You can buy $50 worth of gas at a gas station by simply swiping a credit card at the pump, but if you walk in to buy a slim jim with a credit card you have to sign for it. I don't get it.

d'Kong76 Dec 27 2013 08:27 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

[fimg=850:1bjibkfb]http://www.kcmets.com/CPF/122713a.jpg[/fimg:1bjibkfb]

Edgy MD Dec 27 2013 08:29 AM Re: Actual Facebook Statuses of Your Actual Virtual Friends

I'm a little plussed at this trend of using Amazon reviews as an exercise in snarky creative writing and then going to Facebook to ask folks to high five you for piling on.