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Modern Pentathlon which is not even a fucking pentathlon

TheOldMole Feb 13 2013 10:32 AM

How does that work? You shoot while running? Sort of like the Sundance Kid?

metsmarathon Feb 13 2013 10:50 AM Re: Modern Pentathlon which is not even a fucking pentathlon

you run, stop and shoot, then run some more and shoot some more, with penalties for missing, akin to the biathlon in winter. i think the modern pentathlon has hte potential to be fucking awesome. start with a round-robin-style simultaneous fencing extravaganza. an orgy of swordplay. then, transition immediately to the horses. the top-rated fencer, in terms of touches and speed of match, gets on his horse first. complete a jumpy, cross-country, steeplechasey course. then, get off hte horse, and swim 200m. get out of the water, and start running and shooting. first man to finish wins. oh, and you must carry your pistol with you at all times - you're a fucking soldier, damnit. maybe if fencing is too arcane, switch it up with some mma. in which case, perrhaps hte pistols should stay outside the octagon...

Fman99 Feb 13 2013 12:53 PM Re: Modern Pentathlon which is not even a fucking pentathlon

I'd change it up further still. 1. Oreo eating contest 2. Half marathon 3. Intercourse with a small animal, maybe a mongoose 4. Skeet 5. Carrying an ice cube in your asshole

TheOldMole Feb 13 2013 03:10 PM Re: Modern Pentathlon which is not even a fucking pentathlon

I liked Doonesbury's George Hamilton Biathlon -- tanning and golf.