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Jordany's Junk

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 11 2013 12:28 PM

1st inning: Homers off Verlander. 5th inning: Hit in the junk by a Verlander fastball. Mike Kerwick ?@mikekerwick I'm no expert, but I somehow doubt Jordany Valdespin was wearing a protective cup. He's off to the locker room. #mets Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More

Farmer Ted Mar 11 2013 12:32 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

I think he kept it in his back pocket. The pocket that hangs out. Junk hanging out.

metirish Mar 11 2013 12:34 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Did he do something after his HR that Vaerlander threw at him?, can't imagine a fastball getting away and hitting him there, also can't imagine Verlander aiming there...weird.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 11 2013 12:39 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

No idea just reading the tweets. Mike Puma ?@NYPost_Mets I know Collins warned Valdespin two weeks ago that he was going to get drilled if he kept hotdogging.

G-Fafif Mar 11 2013 12:52 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Tiger announcers sounded concerned, relieved that the young man (as I think they called him) was able to walk off on his own power. Which is considerable this Spring.

Edgy MD Mar 11 2013 12:58 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

There isn't enough ice in the world.

Edgy MD Mar 11 2013 02:01 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Works best as a narrative. 11:22 AM - Mar 11, 2013 Mike Puma ?@NYPost_Mets Valdespin drilled in groin area by 94 mph heater. 11:23 AM - Mar 11, 2013 Mike Puma ?@NYPost_Mets May have hit Valdespin square in the boys. 11:25 AM - Mar 11, 2013 Mike Puma ?@NYPost_Mets Bixler running for Valdespin. Will get an update soon. 11:37 AM - Mar 11, 2013 Mike Puma ?@NYPost_Mets I know Collins warned Valdespin two weeks ago that he was going to get drilled if he kept hotdogging. 11:49 AM - Mar 11, 2013 Mike Puma ?@NYPost_Mets Valdespin says he is OK ... Asked where he got hit: "My dick," Valdespin said. 12:32 AM - Mar 11, 2013 Mike Puma ?@NYPost_Mets Valdespin: "Everything is good, working good, normally, everything is great.” (Wow, he tested everything really fast.) 12:57 AM - Mar 11, 2013 Mike Puma ?@NYPost_Mets Verlander on drilling Valdespin: "Right out of the hand it’s like, ‘Oh, sh--. That is right at his balls. ’ " That Mike Puma is not afraid to stick to his style guide on Twitter.

Centerfield Mar 11 2013 02:07 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

This is fucking funny. I mean, I feel for the guy, but my god this thread is funny. (Wow, he tested everything really fast.) Funny Edgy. I thought the same thing. To me, Valdespin has the feel of a guy who is a little fucked in the head, but talented, and will put it all together about two organizations down the road. Kinda like Jeff Kent or Carl Everett.

Mets – Willets Point Mar 11 2013 02:14 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

(Wow, he tested everything really fast.) It remains to be seen if Jordany is reproductively viable.

Zvon Mar 11 2013 02:44 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

I thought if you hit Valde anywhere on his body you were hitting "the dick".

Frayed Knot Mar 11 2013 02:49 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Jordany's junk aside, Met bats smacked Verlander's Tiggers around to the tune of 11-Zip 4.2 innings of 1-hit ball from Niese (although 4 BBs thrown in). Burke, Mejia (apparently healthy), Familia, and Laffey threw the remaining 4.1 IPs (0.1, 1.0, 1.0, & 2.0) of 4-hit shutout ball. The only pitching oddity was just 1 K by the combined staff. On the hitting side: two Buck 2Bs; HRs from the dynamic trio of Valdespin, Hicks (also off Verlander) & Bixler; and 15 hits overall including 4-fer-5 from the catching duo of Buck & Recker (Recker, I hardly know her!)

Zvon Mar 11 2013 03:11 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

I heard this thread even got a smile out of Lucas Duda. Come on Lucas, lets see that smile.

Zvon Mar 11 2013 03:11 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

There it is. :)

Centerfield Mar 11 2013 03:30 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

How awesome would it be if Lucas Duda could actually be that guy. Surly, redneck monster power hitter. Drives a pickup truck with horns on it. Listens to Metallica. The kind of guy that advocates for gun control, not because he is against hunting but because he believes animals should be killed with your bare hands. Lucas Duda arrested for disorderly conduct. Lucas Duda charges mound. Lucas Duda destroys 150k camera after a cameraman wanders too close after a tough game. I want Lucas Duda to throw someone through a plate glass window because he asks him if he's "related to Zip-a-Dee". And of course, hit .295, mash 48 HR's and drive in 140.

Zvon Mar 11 2013 04:19 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Since I steered the thread away I'll try to steer it back. Here is the updated GAHwright pic, version 2.2. Skin tones tinted to match, logo added to chest, and including his new sidekick, Valdesac.

G-Fafif Mar 11 2013 05:16 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

If David weren't winging around the World Baseball Classic saving America's bacon, I wonder if he'd be actively Captaining Jordany's word choices.

G-Fafif Mar 11 2013 05:27 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

And while we're talking language, one wonders if baseball's vocabulary will be, uh, altered from here on out. Let that be a lesson for all you kids out there: always wear a cup if you don't want to get hit in the Valdespins.

Ashie62 Mar 11 2013 05:39 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Centerfield wrote: This is fucking funny. I mean, I feel for the guy, but my god this thread is funny. (Wow, he tested everything really fast.) Funny Edgy. I thought the same thing. To me, Valdespin has the feel of a guy who is a little fucked in the head, but talented, and will put it all together about two organizations down the road. Kinda like Jeff Kent or Carl Everett. Just not Milton Bradley..

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 11 2013 06:24 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

owowowowowowowowowooOWOWOWOWEEEEEeEEeEEEEeeeeEE

metirish Mar 11 2013 06:32 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Centerfield wrote: How awesome would it be if Lucas Duda could actually be that guy. Surly, redneck monster power hitter. Drives a pickup truck with horns on it. Listens to Metallica. The kind of guy that advocates for gun control, not because he is against hunting but because he believes animals should be killed with your bare hands. Lucas Duda arrested for disorderly conduct. Lucas Duda charges mound. Lucas Duda destroys 150k camera after a cameraman wanders too close after a tough game. I want Lucas Duda to throw someone through a plate glass window because he asks him if he's "related to Zip-a-Dee". And of course, hit .295, mash 48 HR's and drive in 140. that's hilarious....unfortunately he's Jim Thome except the 48 home runs.

Lefty Specialist Mar 11 2013 07:18 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Zvon wrote: and including his new sidekick, Valdesac. Thanks for making the soda come out through my nose.

themetfairy Mar 11 2013 07:24 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Zvon - would you please post a version of that sans Valdesac? It's cracking me up, but I'd love a solo Mr. Wright version that I could post on Facebook (with your permission, of course).

metsguyinmichigan Mar 11 2013 08:01 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Zvon is KILLING me!

Fman99 Mar 11 2013 08:05 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Getting hit in the cock head stinks, unless it's from a 99 MPH act of fellatio.

MFS62 Mar 11 2013 09:31 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

As Confucius said, "Act like a hot dog, get hit in the hot dog." Or, was that Early Wynn who said that? I forget. Later

Edgy MD Mar 12 2013 09:56 AM Re: Jordany's Junk

"NUMBNUTS!" --- The New York Post, where it's all about dignity, dignity, dignity.

Farmer Ted Mar 12 2013 12:10 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Any follow-up on Jordany's ValdesJunk?

Benjamin Grimm Mar 12 2013 12:22 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

They're sending him to New York to see if Mike Piazza can induce an erection.

metirish Mar 12 2013 12:33 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Benjamin Grimm wrote: They're sending him to New York to see if Mike Piazza can induce an erection. solid gold right there

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 12 2013 12:34 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Benjamin Grimm wrote: They're sending him to New York to see if Mike Piazza can induce an erection. BOOM

Zvon Mar 12 2013 02:25 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

I was wondering yesterday how did he get in a position to be hit in the nutz. So he was squaring to bunt? And he REALLY wasn't wearing a cup? Thats nutz. I can do that Sharon. Ill post or PM it asap.

Edgy MD Mar 12 2013 02:34 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Verlander's a righty. Valdy bats lefty. His stance is just a bit open. There's going to be some exposure.

John Cougar Lunchbucket Mar 12 2013 02:46 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

No, he was squared up:

seawolf17 Mar 12 2013 02:54 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

OW

themetfairy Mar 12 2013 02:56 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Ooh - ouch! (And thanks Zvon!)

Edgy MD Mar 12 2013 02:58 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

My boys just crawled up into the the top bunk.

G-Fafif Mar 12 2013 03:09 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

This one goes out to Jordany.

RealityChuck Mar 12 2013 06:36 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

I think Valdespin is lying. Not even Verlander has the control to hit a target that small.

Zvon Mar 12 2013 07:10 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

No, he was squared up: Amazing pic. Almost looks photoshopped. I'm sure he squared early the way he does and Verlander changed his plan mid pitch to thwart Valdesacs plan. And nothing went according to anyones plan.

Fman99 Mar 12 2013 07:30 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Verlander threw the heater but it turned into a 'breaking ball.'

MFS62 Mar 12 2013 09:48 PM Re: Jordany's Junk

Fman99 wrote: Verlander threw the heater but it turned into a 'breaking ball.' Go to your room. That wasn't up (or is it down ?) to your normal standards. OK, I laughed. Later

G-Fafif Mar 13 2013 08:40 AM Re: Jordany's Junk

Jordany says he's learned his lesson and will make every night Collector's Cup Night, so to speak. The beauty? You know he won't. 'Cause he's just that way.

themetfairy Mar 13 2013 09:03 AM Re: Jordany's Junk

G-Fafif wrote: Jordany says he's learned his lesson and will make every night Collector's Cup Night, so to speak. The beauty? You know he won't. 'Cause he's just that way. Wouldn't you love to see him do a PSA on the subject?

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Mar 13 2013 09:05 AM Re: Jordany's Junk

themetfairy wrote: G-Fafif wrote: Jordany says he's learned his lesson and will make every night Collector's Cup Night, so to speak. The beauty? You know he won't. 'Cause he's just that way. Wouldn't you love to see him do a PSA on the subject? You think he'd stick around for the full 30 seconds?

themetfairy Mar 13 2013 09:12 AM Re: Jordany's Junk

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: themetfairy wrote: G-Fafif wrote: Jordany says he's learned his lesson and will make every night Collector's Cup Night, so to speak. The beauty? You know he won't. 'Cause he's just that way. Wouldn't you love to see him do a PSA on the subject? You think he'd stick around for the full 30 seconds? Valdesac can fill time if Jordany skips out early ;)

metsguyinmichigan Mar 13 2013 11:11 AM Re: Jordany's Junk

Was he playing second in that game? I've heard that infielders regularly wear a cup, but not outfielders. (Even with cup, I think that one still would have smarted!)

Lefty Specialist Mar 13 2013 11:57 AM Re: Jordany's Junk

First time I've seen Jordany get to three balls in an at-bat this year.