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how do you butter your bread?


vertical slices at the end, to your desired thickness 10 votes

diagonal slices according to the most convenient knife-approach angle 1 votes

drag the knife across hte top to get a thin curl of butter 1 votes

cry for margarine in a tub 0 votes

metsmarathon
Apr 05 2013 01:09 PM

let's say you're visiting either a friend or family and you're sitting down to a fairly nice meal. presented before you is some fairly warm bread and a butter dish with a rectangular block of butter sitting proudly upon it. one end has been cut into, leaving a near-vertical face. your host isn't really a butter connoisseur, but, then, this is a rectangular block of butter, and not a tub.

you have a butter knife, and would like some butter.

the butter hasn't been softened, per se, so it's going to take a smidge of effort to spread it upon your bread.

how do you go about obtaining for yourself some butter?

do you:

a) try to cut a nice rectangular pat of butter for yourself, effectively maintaining as close to a vertical face on the butter block as you are able to without exerting some undue level of effort - it is, after all, just butter.
b) reach your knife out and hack off a chunk of butter at whatever angle the butter sits to your knife-weilding hand
c) scrape along the top of the butter block, much as you would with a tub of butter, in the attempt to get a thin ribbon of butter that would best enable you to spread it on your bread. note that there are currently no other scrapes along the top of hte butter.
d) protest that you haven't been served a tub of margarine

cooby
Apr 05 2013 03:02 PM
Re: how do you butter your bread?

I'm choosing C

I once went to a church dinner where the butter was still frozen. Talk about a challenge.

Cool question, btw!

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
Apr 05 2013 08:46 PM
Re: how do you butter your bread?

Diagonal. Or chunks. Or something else to ruin your pretty angles.

Some men just like to watch the world melt.

Zvon
Apr 05 2013 08:57 PM
Re: how do you butter your bread?

A in that situation. C at home.

The Second Spitter
Apr 06 2013 04:54 AM
Re: how do you butter your bread?

(e) Blast it with radiation for 15 secs and then pour it on.

Ceetar
Apr 06 2013 06:18 AM
Re: how do you butter your bread?

Most cases A, a couple small slivers from the end( either end) to not rock the boat.

but there are certainly cases where I'm cutting wedges out of the the sides. Maybe using a spoon and scooping a bit from the middle.

Nymr83
Apr 06 2013 01:17 PM
Re: how do you butter your bread?

The Second Spitter wrote:
(e) Blast it with radiation for 15 secs and then pour it on.

E it is.

John Cougar Lunchbucket
Apr 06 2013 01:28 PM
Re: how do you butter your bread?

F) Roughly rub the bread directly on the stick.

G) Pick up the butter dish and breathe onto it as though fogging your eyeglasses.

H) Squeeze off a pat between your thumb and forefinger.

Ceetar
Apr 06 2013 02:32 PM
Re: how do you butter your bread?

I) Eat the bread plain. butter will kill you you know.

J) Lament the lack of Irish butter.

K) Butter? pass the olive oil please.