Jun 01 2013 10:44 AM
Edited 2 time(s), most recently on Jun 01 2013 11:04 AM
The Mets are in Miami for a series with the Marlins in their nice new stadium, but none of their good players.
Let's look at the Mets chances:
Good news: Goodness, the Marlins suck. At 14-42, the team is humming along at a .225 clip, putting them in spitting distance of the 1962 Mets. The Marlins, like that Mets team, have management that isn't necessarily interested in winning, though the 1962 Mets at least had an excuse.
Bad news: It seems like the Marlins play like the 1986 Mets when they play us. Seriously, it seems like 12 of those 14 wins came in games with the Mets.
Good news: Marlins Park is like Citi Field South, with just as many Mets fans there as Marlins fans in attendance.
Bad news: The Mets don't exactly play well at home. And now Ike can get booed by Mets fans in two different stadiums.
Good news: The Marlins best player, Giancarlo "Mike" Stanton, is on the shelf with a hammy injury.
Bad news: Now we can't trade for him.
Good news: The Marlins have spiffy uniforms, though they rarely wear the road grays.
Bad news: The number font on the back is awful!
Good news: The Marlins Friday lineup had a grad total of 9 homers and six players batting below .250.
Bad news: The still beat us on Friday.
Good news: The Marlins have a really cool art deco leaping, spinning, dancing fish thing that supposedly goes off every time a player hits a home run.
Bad news: Marlins never hit home runs. Does it still work?
Good news: We don't have to be all pissed off at Jose Reyes any more!
Bad news: Poor Jose.
Breakdown:
LF:
Marlins: Juan Pierre, .223, 1 HR, 6 RBI
Mets: Lucas Duda
Advantage: Mets! Pierre is not really French, and used to be good. That was a long time ago.
3B:
Marlins: Placido Polanco, .228. 0 HR, 7 RBI
Mets: David Wright
Advantage: Mets! Polanco was good for the Phillies, but that was just because he was happy to be the hell out of Detroit.
2B:
Marlins: Derek Dietrich, .230. 3 HR, 8 RBI
Mets: Daniel Murphy
Advantage: Mets! Dietrich is the Marlins' leading home run hitter, at least in Friday's order. 
RF:
Marlins: Marcell Ozuna, .330, 1 HR, 11 RBI
Mets: Marlon Byrd
Advantage: Mets! Ozuna is a kid called up recently, Byrd was playing when this kid was in diapers. Experience counts.
CF:
Marlins: Chris Coghlan, .257, 1 HR, 5 RBI
Mets: Rick Ankiel
Advantage: Mets! Coghlan might be the worst player to ever win a Rookie of the Year Award, making Pat Listach very happy.
SS:
Marlins: Adeiny Hechavarria, .183, 2 HR, 12 RBI
Mets: Omar Quintanilla
Advantage: Mets! No one can pronounce or spell Adeiny Hechavarria.
1B:
Marlins: Greg Dobbs, .217, 1 HR, 14 RBI
Mets: Ike Davis
Advantage: Mets! Because, well, look! Catchers!
C:
Marlins: Rob Brantly, .229, 0 HR, 11 RBI
Mets: John Buck
Advantage: Mets! Buck has more home runs than all of the Marlins Friday starters combined!
P:
Satruday:
Marlins: Jose Fernandez, 2-3, 3.78
Mets: Colin McHugh
Advantage: Mets! Fernandez will always be Jose Fernandez, but McHugh will turn into Zach Wheeler next time through the rotation. Actually, Fernandez in the Marlins' 20-year-old phenom and will probably represent the team at Citi Field for the All-Star Game.
Sunday:
Marlins: Kevin Slowey, 1-5, 3.59
Mets: Matt Harvey
Advantage: Mets! Teams are in negotiations to spot the Marlins 3 runs and allow the Mets to field only 7 players just to keep it fair.