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Available Subjects Invitational

Edgy DC Dec 19 2005 05:11 PM

Competitors did songs with Choo Choo Coleman and Bill Hepler (heck, I got beaten by Ed Bressoud), but they couldn't or wouldn't touch the following subjects. Won't you? One per customer, please. Juan Acevedo Edgardo Alfonzo Bob Aspromonte Carlos Baerga Willie Blair Tim Bogar Brian Bohanon Bruce Boisclair Daryl Boston Jerry Bucheck Ray Burris Don Cardwell Gary Carter Jaime Cerda Galen Cisco Mardie Cornejo Jerry Cram Bill Denehy Duffy Dyer Kevin Elster Doug Flynn Bob Friend Ed Glynn Mauro Gozzo Pumpsie Green Tom Hall Jack Heidemann Ron Hodges Butch Huskey Jeff Innis Gregg Jefferies Johnny Lewis Phil Linz Graeme Lloyd Luis Lopez Julio Machado Elliot Maddox Mike Maddux Josias Manzanillo Mike Marshall (the pitcher) J.C Martin Jon Matlack Kevin McReynolds John Milner Dave Mlicki Dale Murray Hideo Nomo Tom O'Malley Amos Otis Tom Paciorek Jay Payton Grover Powell Bob Rauch Rick Reed Mike Remlinger Ronn Reynolds Gordie Richardson Ken Sanders Rafael Santana Ray Searage Scott Strickland Craig Swan Frank Tanana Randy Tate John Thomson Julio Valera Robin Ventura Tom Veryzer Vance Wilson

Johnny Dickshot Dec 19 2005 05:20 PM

My leftover, as predicted: Tim Bogar. I might have gone with it, but I never wrote a fourth and final verse: Bogar Timmy Bogar Does a little of all Can play second or first Can play short, left and third, Bogar Timmy Bogar In the Torborg regime Never cussed or shot bleach And was rarely seen out in bars Timmy Bogar His body often broke down Broke a finger and had Migraines burning like lit cigars Timmy Bogar You know we started to think.... (unfinished)

ScarletKnight41 Dec 19 2005 05:30 PM

Here's my pathetic little Jeff McKnight ditty - Because McKnight (To the tune of Because The Night, by Patti Smith) Made it now, baby to the pros Got to put on big leaguers’ clothes A cup of coffee for the first time out But back to Tidewater, and off to pout Come on now try and understand You get cut cut if you’ve got shaky hands In Baltimore he went undercover So switch numbers Switch numbers, switch numbers Because McKnight wore Number 15 Because McKnight wore Number 5 Because McKnight wore Number 18 Because McKnight could never thrive Switched numbers twice in ‘93 Number 7 went to Jeromy Then Dallas Greene lost the owners’ trust Here comes Bobby Wine with numeric lust Come on now try and understand The manager issues thecommands 17 goes to the new coach So switch numbers Switch numbers, switch numbers Because McKnight wore Number 15 Because McKnight wore Number 5 Because McKnight wore Number 18 Because McKnight could never thrive. Saberhagen Took the uniform from him Caused some drops McKnight just flopped Forgive, the yahoo-ing, booing I believe it’s time, too old to field So retire now, retire now, retire now Because McKnight wore Old 17 Because McKnight wore Number 5 Because McKnight wore Number 18 Because McKnight could never thrive.. Because McKnight wore all those numbers We know him as McKnightmare Because McKnight wore all those numbers

Edgy DC Dec 19 2005 05:34 PM

You had something there. I would've bitterly and somewhat pointlessly complained that I had already used that song, but you had something there.

Willets Point Dec 19 2005 05:34 PM

"Because Ray Knight" remembers a better player.

ScarletKnight41 Dec 19 2005 05:40 PM

Yeah, but Ray Knight wasn't an available subject this year.

Edgy DC Dec 19 2005 05:46 PM

I've parodied "What a Wonderful World" in this space (well, the old space) before and still got whacked by it this year. No justice.

mlbaseballtalk Dec 19 2005 10:01 PM

Could be about THOUSANDS of hurlers (or players) through the years, but here is Merle Haggard with a version for Hideo Nomo Down every road there's always one more city I'm a hired gun, the majors is my home I raised a lot of fuss back in my younger days While expectations of being Fernando Jr. failed Now I'm a washed hurler with just two ways Go back to Japan or spend my life in Tampa Bay I'd like to settle down but teams won't let me A journeyman must be a rolling stone Down every road there's always one more city I'm a hired gun, the majors is my home I once hurled in New York and then in Fenway Even faced The Unit in the All Star Game Now my game has slowed down I guess thus ends my 15 minutes of fame I'd like to settle down but teams won't let me A journeyman must be a rolling stone Down every road there's always one more city I'm a hired gun, the majors is my home I'm a hired gun, the majors is my home

MFS62 Dec 19 2005 10:14 PM

Edgy, don't we put those efforts in an "unused songs" thread? Or is this going to be it? (pause) I guess it is. I have one on my computer at work. I'll post it Wednesday. I'm a travelin' man tomorrow. LAter

MFS62 Dec 19 2005 10:16 PM

Found it. Ken Sanders, based on "I Am Woman" by Anne Murray “I’m Ken Sanders”, hear me roar As I walk through bullpen door ’Cause I won’t break, but I might bend And I’ve heard the fans before Sayin’ I’m a mop up, and not more But the manager just points, and calls out “Ken”. ”Those washed up guys “ We hear that sad refrain Yes, we’ve paid the price It is a not remembered name But I could close, I can do anything I am strong But now just vincible I am Sanders Batters often try to make me Throw a pitch so they can take me Over fielder’s head or even outfield wall But when I try to throw it stronger The ball ends up going longer And I know I shoulda’ thrown a breaking ball. I want my repertoire to grow I want to learn to pitch it slow As I hold the baseball loosely in my right hand It’s a tricky pitch to throw I still have a way to go I want to be the best reliever in the land ”Those Mop up guys “ We hear that sad refrain Yes, we’ve paid the price It is a not remembered name I can still close, I can do anything I am strong But now just vincible I am Sanders

Edgy DC Dec 19 2005 11:20 PM

This one didn't work out. He’d been a bush-league guy Stuck down there — I know why Boston was a racist town The man just had to keep him down He wasn’t Rosa Parks He had to make some sparks “Let me play a little bit Or let me go flat.” Pumpsie Green! When you don't really need him Pumpsie Green! Until you can feel him Called up in ‘59 No more color line Final team to integrate Some folks just need to hate There's nothing underhand Pumpsie wouldn't understand. Pumpsie Green! When you don't really need him Pumpsie Green! Until you can feel him He didn’t hit much He didn’t have the touch Though he lacked the game Fans should praise his name They don’t remember him Cept’ for his September whim When he jumped the Red Sox bus To head for Tel Aviv Pumpsie Green! When you don't really need him Pumpsie Green! Until you can feel him Ortiz, Rice, and Oil Can Should thank the Lord that made this man Joined the Mets in ’63 After setting Boston free Third base, by committee Hit just an itty-bitty No use wishing then for many Metly wins Pumpsie Green! Until you can feel him Pumpsie Green! When you don't really need him! Don’t really need him! Don’t really need him! Don’t really need him!

Yancy Street Gang Dec 20 2005 09:15 AM

Edgy DC wrote: I've parodied "What a Wonderful World" in this space (well, the old space) before and still got whacked by it this year. No justice. Did you really? Is there a link to it? I'd love to read it. Was it a winner for you?

Edgy DC Dec 20 2005 09:34 AM

It wasn't in competitions. It was in exhibition. We were discussing GMs and we realized that most of us kniew only a little about any of them --- particularly pre-Cashen.

ScarletKnight41 Dec 20 2005 10:39 AM

It's not the song. It's what you do with it that matters.

sharpie Dec 20 2005 10:43 AM

I briefly worked on a Pumpsie Green parody last year using "Pump It Up" but it didn't work for me either.

Yancy Street Gang Dec 20 2005 10:49 AM

I've found that the hardest part is matching the player to the song. Once that's done, the filling in of the lyrics isn't as hard, although finding the right rhymes and expressing your point with the correct number of syllables can be a challenge. I was very happy with my song-to-player matchup in three of the five songs I did. I Think We're Alone Now and Cleon Jones was perfect. Lee Mazzilli's Met/Yankee duality lent itself very well to Both Sides Now and Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds fit with the surreal side of Pedro Martinez. Mookie and Spooky jumped at me immediately because of the obvious rhyme, and I was fortunate that I was able to make it work. I had planned to keep Don't Know Much (Wonderful World) in my back pocket in case I was forced into a tie-breaker about some obscure Met, but I had no other inspiration for my semi-final battle with Edgy, so I used it on Ed Bressoud, only because of the "Eddie B." rhyme. I think I was especially lucky to get through that round. (Does this belong here or in the song parody commentary thread? Are Grover and Biff going to be interviewing me and Sharpie?)