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Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

Edgy MD Dec 10 2013 03:17 PM

Derek Jeter intangibles dude back to life: http://deadspin.com/derek-jeter-revived ... socialflow

Frayed Knot Dec 10 2013 03:26 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

A coworker was at an event for our firm today where Derek Jeter was a guest of honor. My coworker was at a table with a guy who started having a heart attack, called 911, and stuffed some advil down this guys throat. Jeter came down to assess the situation, shot a "how you doin'?" at my coworker, who happens to be an attractive 40 something blonde, and cheers the potentially dead guy back to life with his charms. So if I've got this straight, a guy starts having a heart attack so Jeter uses the occasion to chat-up the victim's shapely, blonde table-mate ... and somehow out of all this Saint Derek gets the credit for the guy not dying?!?

Ceetar Dec 10 2013 03:29 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

sloppy reporting.. did coworker chick get anything good in the giftbasket?

Edgy MD Dec 10 2013 03:35 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

Frayed Knot wrote: So if I've got this straight, a guy starts having a heart attack so Jeter uses the occasion to chat-up the victim's shapely, blonde table-mate ... and somehow out of all this Saint Derek gets the credit for the guy not dying?!? You should see what he could've done if he wasn't rehabbing. Yeah, I dunno.

Edgy MD Dec 10 2013 03:38 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

I nominate the guy standing background right as the biggest Yankee fan ever. "This guy's totally dying but that's D-d-d-derek Je... Shit. Cameraphone. Better cover up my sweet Jeterboner fast!"

Lefty Specialist Dec 10 2013 06:54 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

I hear his cufflinks cure cancer.

metirish Dec 10 2013 08:14 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

Saved him from his heart attack but now the guy has the clap.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Dec 10 2013 08:30 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

[Dying]

Mets Guy in Michigan Dec 10 2013 08:31 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

metirish wrote: Saved him from his heart attack but now the guy has the clap. Bad ass!

Mets Guy in Michigan Dec 10 2013 08:45 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: [Dying] Dude, what are you trying to do, summon Derek Jeter to come over and save your life?

metirish Dec 10 2013 08:56 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

Golf clap.....clap clap Not a Derek Jeter clap

MFS62 Dec 10 2013 10:49 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

There was a picture of a meeting of the "Core Four" in today's Daily Snooze. After a moment of projectile vomiting, I tore it out of the paper and threw it away because I didn't want it in my house. I got better on my own, I didn't want Jeter to try to save me. Later

Lefty Specialist Dec 11 2013 11:25 AM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

He couldn't have saved him if he was a slow ground ball up the middle, though.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Dec 11 2013 01:07 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

metsguyinmichigan wrote: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: [Dying] Dude, what are you trying to do, summon Derek Jeter to come over and save your life? Who the hell do you think is, from a distance, keeping my LDL cholesterol down, and my prostate normal-sized? A doctor?

dinosaur jesus Dec 11 2013 01:18 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

You guys can keep taking your Jeter injections. When I'm on the verge of death, or just need a little help getting through the eighth inning, I take a dose of Paco Rodriguez.

Ceetar Dec 11 2013 01:22 PM Re: Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

dinosaur jesus wrote: You guys can keep taking your Jeter injections. When I'm on the verge of death, or just need a little help getting through the eighth inning, I take a dose of Paco Rodriguez. As long as you consult a sabermatrician for games lasting longer than 4 hours.