Master Index of Archived Threads


Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC) TMonk over G-Fafif

Oh God No!/Frank Tanana/The Beach Boys: Kokomo

10 votes

Tom's Horror/Tom Glavine/Rush: Tom Sawyer

13 votes

batmagadanleadoff Jan 30 2014 04:53 PM Edited 5 time(s), most recently on Feb 03 2014 04:48 AM

[fimg=304:3clla7f1]http://www.tradingcarddb.com/Images/Cards/Baseball/250/250-365Fr.jpg[/fimg:3clla7f1] [fimg=304:3clla7f1]http://www.tradingcarddb.com/Images/Cards/Baseball/1653/1653-350Fr.jpg[/fimg:3clla7f1]

batmagadanleadoff Jan 30 2014 04:54 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Oh God No!/Frank Tanana/The Beach Boys: Kokomo Mike Maddux, Wayne Housie As Mets they sure were lousy Jeff Kaiser, Mike Draper Way inside the paper Goose Gozzo, Navarro Release them all tomorrow Tanana — Nineteen Ninety-Three When we would mutter, “Oh God No!” That’s when we sank below The expansion Marlin team Buried deep in last Torborg and Harazin fired fast They were wailing in angst From this abominable cast Moaning, “Oh God No!” Doug Saunders, Ced Landrum Inevitable tantrum Thompson and Burnitz Giving Dallas Green fits Tony Fernandez Developed kidney stones Groaning, “Oh God No!” You can’t blame Frank For growing very old He turned the big four-oh Murmuring, “Oh God No!” Young Butch Husk-ey He wasn’t quite ready They’d swap Frank for Greer Near the end of this bitter year Kenny had to wonder What the hell Was going on here Loads of Jeff McKnight Vince Coleman’s dynamite Is there some bleach in your eye? Bret Saberhagen swore he aimed high Griping, “Oh God No!” HoJo, Jeff Innis Careers were nearly finished Hillman and Weston Tide togs they looked best in Bob Klapisch invited Over the Triborough By Bobby Bo He’ll show the Bronx It’s just a stone’s throw Jay Horwitz didn’t glow “Oh Bobby — Oh God No!” P...R mess Would Jay withstand The stress? Tanana couldn’t know Ninety-Three would bring historic lows When it was time to leave Shea Nobody heard Frankie say “When’s Old-Timers Day?” AY kept tryin’ But wasn’t Nolan Ryan Paul Gibson’s fastball Barely nudged O’Brien Jeff Kent’s bad actin’ Findin’ ‘Darrin Jackson Contracts Graves Disease’ Explained his sum Of only seven ribbies Geez, what a tale of woe Sighing, “Oh God No!” Gallagher, Telgheder The stories they’d tell later Of Baez and Bogar And Josi Manzanillo Murray stayed silent While driving in a hundred Of his fellow schmoes They weren’t civil And they’d trudge real slow Small wonder fans would go: “Tickets? Oh God No!” The Doctor did not draw Nor Schourek or Chic’ Walker Attendance reduced to Joe Orsulak’s lone stalker Few souls would witness The last of Sid Fernandez There is this note, though — Todd Hundley survived As did Bobby Jones Plus that cockroach John Franco It shows ya never know [youtube:2aql496p]9_5_AD9wXuY[/youtube:2aql496p]

batmagadanleadoff Jan 30 2014 04:55 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Tom's Horror A hated Brave formerly Bona fide The ace Tom Glavine The Mets signed Though he never liked QuesTec Don't put him down as arrogant Got a win in the LCS He was consistent for the Mets Three hundred… One can speak about his pedigree But all he had that day was brevity What a twist, playoffs missed Dash the history, fans were stiffed The Marlins', The Marlins' Lineup was too deep The postseason hopes all died That day - Tom's horror! It was all bad news Man, the top of the first He could not get through Then he blew it with the press Not "devastated" with his mess And because of this one event Now the loathing is permanent The loathing One can speak about his pedigree But in this town he's hung in effigy Catch the sickness, playoffs missed Dash the spirits, dodge the spit The Marlins', The Marlins' Lineup was too deep The postseason hopes all died Now a Met formerly The hated Tom Glavine Was he all bad news? Let me sum it up this way There will always be the memory of that day [youtube]RE0HTp3-AQo[/youtube]

Edgy MD Jan 30 2014 05:00 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Torn I am. Both go deep and wide and strong.

Centerfield Jan 30 2014 05:10 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Edgy channeling gay Yoda.

d'Kong76 Jan 30 2014 05:19 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

I can feel Geddy shrieking, "The loathing!" One can speak about his pedigree But in this town he's hung in effigy Catch the sickness, playoffs missed Dash the spirits, dodge the spit Bravo

Edgy MD Jan 30 2014 05:22 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

The Braves' Tom Glavine: Hall of Fame The Mets' Tom Glavine: LOST THAT GAME!

John Cougar Lunchbucket Jan 30 2014 05:42 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Lolllling at both entries. I am leaning toward the pairing of Stamos-era cruise-ship rock with the ugly subject matter. As I recall maybeboth of these tunes were used in a former contests. Kokomo for sure and I have vague memories I might have used Tom Sawyer once. Did I?

Edgy MD Jan 30 2014 05:48 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

I used Tom Sawyer in an extra-contestual context once. [list]Today's Tom Seaver: mean, mean vine Today's Tom Seaver: mean, mean wine![/list:u] ... but I salute this as a superior effort. Both are wordy with bouncy meter and are irresistible selections. Latino ballplayer names fit nicely into Caribbean island names. I never knew there had been a Stamos era in American history. #themoreyouknow!

Edgy MD Jan 30 2014 06:01 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

It's still a 1-1 tie! Looks like I'm not the only one who's fundecided.

themetfairy Jan 30 2014 06:03 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Awesome work!

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 30 2014 06:09 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

I've been praying on this on and off for an hour, and I'm still no closer. "Kokomo" is a better comic song choice, but the degree of difficulty with "Tom Sawyer." This might come down to me going through yet another pass and, like, counting laughs or something.

Mets Willets Point Jan 30 2014 06:10 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

I think "Oh God No!" loses points for not really being about Tanana. A great 1993 Mets Team parody though.

Edgy MD Jan 30 2014 06:14 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Hmm.... HMMMM.....

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 30 2014 06:18 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

But then, "Kokomo" is a little funnier, and "Sawyer" has that thing where the parodist uses the exact same lyric line as the song once or twice, to no particular effect. Bugaboo of mine.

Edgy MD Jan 30 2014 06:31 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

[bigpurple:14526g0m]HMMMM....[/bigpurple:14526g0m]

d'Kong76 Jan 30 2014 06:36 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC) Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jan 30 2014 06:55 PM

Went with the Canadian Metal-Men. Kokomo is well played but gosh that song is annoying. A bugaboo of mine. They should have swam off into the sunset after Endless Summer and be done with it.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jan 30 2014 06:54 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

That it's so horrible is what it's got going for it, Kase. But ultimately, the straying-from-topic/cataloguing aspect point-penalties in my head slotted "Kokomo" JUST behind the Canuckshot.

d'Kong76 Jan 30 2014 06:56 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: That it's so horrible is what it's got going for it, Kase. Fair point, I suppose you are right.

batmagadanleadoff Jan 30 2014 07:09 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

This one's been neck and neck, back and forth from the start, with no contestant ever maintaining more than a one vote lead.

Edgy MD Jan 30 2014 07:35 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

You should enable vote changing, because I imagine I'd have use for it.

batmagadanleadoff Jan 30 2014 07:40 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Edgy MD wrote: You should enable vote changing, because I imagine I'd have use for it. Done.

Zvon Jan 30 2014 08:13 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

Wow. Both great. These lines from the Tom Sawyer one tip it for me: And because of this one event Now the loathing is permanent

MFS62 Jan 30 2014 08:17 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

The Braves' Tom Glavine: Hall of Fame The Mets' Tom Glavine: LOST THAT GAME! I can just hear Billy Joel singing that in "We Didn't Start the Fire". Later

metsmarathon Jan 31 2014 02:34 AM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC)

sawyer is good. really hangs onto the original tune. not only does it effectively convey the desired content without needing to contrive around unnecessarily to fill a verse, but it also scores on degree of difficulty.

batmagadanleadoff Feb 02 2014 03:55 AM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC) *POLL ENDED*

This matchup set the CPKC record for most votes received by the eliminated contestant.

TransMonk Feb 02 2014 12:40 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC) TMOnk over G-Fafif

I have to admit, G-FAFIF...when this thread started, I thought I was toast. Great work!

G-Fafif Feb 02 2014 06:14 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC) TMOnk over G-Fafif

Marvelous craftsmanship, Mr. Monk. Parodistic hat tipped. To address a few notes... Latino ballplayer names fit nicely into Caribbean island names. Don't they though? I think "Oh God No!" loses points for not really being about Tanana. Valid observation, but in my mind, "Tanana" = "1993," so bundling the player into the season was an organic occurrence, as opposed to "cripes, I don't know what to say specifically about this guy" (there were seven other evocative lefties available, had that been the case). I decided having Frank float through the composition was sufficient for it to be enough of a Tanana parody, per se. Kokomo is well played but gosh that song is annoying. A bugaboo of mine. I hated "Kokomo" when it was all over the airwaves in 1988 and I don't like it now. Somehow in my thought process, I went from "Tanana" to "Banana" to "Banana Boat Song" to "anything else like that?" to "uh...'Kokomo' maybe" and it took off from there. Extracting some utility out of a No. 1 hit that irritated me endlessly a quarter-of-a-century ago will do as my consolation prize (both it and "Tom Sawyer" have been in my head for days). And I do think the mashup of song I detested with team I still brood over made them each a tiny bit more embraceable to me. Not that that was the goal here, but this was one of the few times I can say I had fun with the 1993 Mets. the straying-from-topic/cataloguing aspect point-penalties If cataloguing refers to the achievement of finding a spot for every 1993 Met, oh well. I didn't set out to do that, but once the effort got going, I felt it would be a shame to not get every one of the 41 co-conspirators a mention. As it happened, the lyrics site I was using for reference had an extra verse tacked on that wasn't in the recorded version, so by all rights I should've been fading out around the Eddie Murray line. But I didn't realize that until after it was completed and I liked what amounted to the baked-in encore. One of my blessings and curses as a Mets fan is the ability to fall completely into whatever past season I'm thinking about. While I was doing this, it was 1993 again, which is to say I wasn't plucking names off a roster and thinking "damn...what sort of rhymes with Gozzo, whoever that was?" I was back in 1993, truly aghast at the 103 losses piling up and the men who were doing the piling. I can't call the result a labor of love exactly, but it was sincere in its satire. Anyway, fine, fine work on Rush and Gl@v!ne and good luck on those seemingly inscrutable semi-final topics. This has been "Behind The Parody," sans sex, drugs or anything remotely titillating.

Zvon Feb 02 2014 07:39 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC) TMOnk over G-Fafif

I didn't realize you got all the 93 Mets in there. That's way kool. I have to throw you some after the fact non-redeemable ghost points.

Mets Willets Point Feb 02 2014 09:10 PM Re: Round Two, Game Nine (2013-14 CPKC) TMonk over G-Fafif

G-Fafif gets my vote for best Behind the Parody.