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Hello, I'm Nolan Ryan

Bret Sabermetric Jan 07 2006 05:58 PM

I give opposing batters frightful dreams, They wake in sweat and tears and high-pitched screams, I terrify each of the other teams, But ‘cause I’m Ryan, I walk all nyan. I throw my fastball twice the speed of sound, My curveball darts into the ground, They quake to see me march out to the mound, But ‘cause I’m Ryan, I walk all nyan. I soak my blisters in a jar of brine, I got more courage than a hungry lion, I got potential, there is no denyin’, But ‘cause I’m Ryan, I walk all nyan. I aim the baseball to go straight Precisely down the center of the plate. Batters stand petrified and wait, And ‘cause I’m Ryan, I walk all nyan. Because I’m so out-of-control wild, The Mets treat me like a bastard child. Soon I will find myself exiled, And finally Ryan will fan all nyan.

KC Jan 07 2006 06:38 PM

Fregosi's too hard to bust a tune to ....

Bret Sabermetric Jan 07 2006 07:33 PM

You know, I'm thinking maybe I just never got over the severe trauma of the Fregosi trade. I hear "The Mets traded a young pitcher.." and I'm all "Oh, no, not again," again. Nothing at all to do with the merits or demerits of the current trade, just regression to the great trauma of my youth that I've re-lived so often it somehow seems comfortable and normal to the child of abusive parents (in my case, Mr. Grant and Mrs. Payson) whom I continue to revile, even as I perpetuate their memory with my daily unresolved fury. It's a theory--what do you all think? (The tune is Johnny Cash's "I walk the line." I just saw the film last week.)

Zvon Jan 07 2006 07:54 PM

Bret Sabermetric wrote: ..... to the child of abusive parents (in my case, Mr. Grant and Mrs. Payson) whom I continue to revile,...) LMAOOOO. Great lyrics. That sir, is a number one hit. Gil is either spinnin or chucklin in his grave. Maybe both at the same time.

Zvon Jan 07 2006 07:57 PM

Youll need a CD jacket cover:

Edgy DC Jan 07 2006 10:38 PM

Everybody been shot down by the one wielding the blowdryer?

metirish Jan 07 2006 10:40 PM

Good stuff Bret, that's a great pic Zvon.

Zvon Jan 07 2006 10:54 PM

Edgy DC wrote: Everybody been shot down by the one wielding the blowdryer? lol. I didnt even notice....is that what that is? Did they have them in '69? Could be. Remember when all that started? They called it "The Dry Look". Can we positively identify the other Mets in the picture? That could be Ken Boswell there with his head in the basket but I cant say for sure.

Edgy DC Jan 07 2006 11:00 PM

Blow dryers have been around since the 19th century. I think Tesla invented them. In fact, I suspect the song "Tesla Girls" by OMD is about girls with big poofy blow dried hair.

Zvon Jan 07 2006 11:02 PM

damn! i learn stuff here. *Z displays a look of shock*

Frayed Knot Jan 08 2006 11:35 AM

Yknow, I had a similar parody written to the same song, using the same tag line for each verse -- only mine was to Leiter meaning I didn't have the option of spelling it 'Nyan'. I don't think I ever "published" it here and it's since disc-appeared due to a recent computer crash. The first verse was something along the lines of: Just keep a close watch on this curve of mine I bust it in on righties all the time Yet I admit that I often try to get too fine Put down the sign, and I might walk nine I'll have to see if I can reconstruct the rest of it from memory